I am Andy Milonakis AMA!

Me and my ex-girlfriend used to use your name as our safeword, just to let you know.

haha dope

Would you agree that "I'm clean and dope like heroin soap" is your best line thus far?

I like it, it's one of my favorites. My twitter bio is probably better though "rappers used to be notorious and now they're no Biggie"

I also, welcome questions about life....not just about my retarded show......but it's your account you can ask whatever you want

Do you remember one of your high school teachers named Mrs. Archer? I went to the same high school that you graduated from, and had her as well. She would tell stories about you. And whenever she was busy with something, we'd bring up a photo of your face on all 25 computers lining the room at the same time then act casual. She'd notice and freak out about how she had way more than enough of you back when you were her student. She thought you were crazy but I think in a motherly way. Or maybe she just thought you were crazy.

EDIT: I had her 5 years ago, so you definitely left a lasting impression on her

hahah I harassed her a lot......I was kind of a dick in her class....but I'm glad she didn't take it personally.

Did the andy milonakis show get you hella laid?

The vaginal opportunities were multiplied by a large number...yes

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dope I love helping people get laid

Favorite part about working with dirt and Riff Raff?

Free drugs

What do you think of Miley Cyrus?

shes chill, I smoked a joint with her

Thanks everyone, I'm gonna take a break. My penis has carpel tunnel syndrome.....I'll come back in like 15 and try to answer a bunch more

What movie are you embarrassed to be a part of?

Every movie besides Waiting haha

Can we hang out?

only if it happens naturally

What is Lil B the Based God like in person?

Very sweet dude, I took him and his manager out to lunch, they were really cool. I asked Lil B if he wanted anything in the studio, and he just asked for some bud, so I brought a bag of some kind OG Kush..we made the song at Dirt's house to Dirt's beat and made the video in the same day.

How did voicing NEPTR come about?

Penn Ward asked me to be on his show on Twitter. It was such a G way to ask someone to be on a real show. I saw his pilot and said yes immediately

What did you do for work before The Andy Milonakis Show?

I worked on Jimmy Kimmel live and then before that I was a network admin for an accounting firm in NYC

Do you still eat pancakes with Hyrup? Where's Ralphie at these days? If they made a third "Waiting" movie would you be in it?

I don't know where Ralphie is, I miss him. I would do a third waiting, why not, but this time I would want to graduate and be a cook so I could put my balls on food

Does Nicholas Megalis have bed breath? He looks like he might be one of those people who does, but no one ever tells him so he just lives his life with bad breath.

nah, he's a chill dude. very minty breath

I saw you walking in Little Tokyo once and wanted to show some love. Is this normally a good idea or do you like to be left alone?

I'm always really nice to my fans and it's not fun for me every time but I make sure I'm nice and always take a picture and treat everyone with respect.

andy! can you bust out a rap for reddit!?

I guess I can bust a rap for reddit cuz if it sucks I can re-edit, go back and time and make the rhyme much tighter, but I don't have to cuz I'm an ill writer. Fuck this A-M-A I need to hop in a Phantom, eat some hookers out till they throw a tantrum...make them cum in the backseat while I bump Backstreet, I only pack heat, like De Niro, I'm an internet hero, makin panties wet cuz I'm an internet vet...I wanna fuck Acid Burn, leave that pussy dead in an Urn, these bitches never learn.

Any new Three Loco material coming soon?

Yes, we're working on something really big but can't talk about it yet

what is the craziest thing you have done with another celeb?

I smoked weed out of a pepsi can with Quentin Tarrintino

Good guy Andy Milonakis responds to every comment in his AMA.

Yeah thanks unless i answered it already or its rude

No question. Just wanted to say I love your shit and thank you for all the laughs growing up. Also I follow you on vine and its the only reason I check it anymore.

thanks dude

Man, the theme tune to your show has been stuck in my head for like the last 6 years

dope, it worked

I've seen you post some fucked up as shit tweets (but funny as fuck nonetheless) only to see you come off as 'offended' when someone insults you in a very, at least in my eyes, mild way.

Do people really get to you over twitter when they insult you?

No, not normally. When I respond to someone insulting me and I diss them back, I don't do it because I'm super offended, I do it because it gives me a creative way of writing some funny shit to say back to them. People misread that as my being offended, when I just think it's fun to talk shit back

When Diplo asked to rap on "We Are Farmers", were any of you like "uh, are you sure that's a good idea?"

haha

How rich are you?

Extremely rich, emotionally.

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Kimmel hired me to do bits for his late night show and then saw potential in making my own show so he sat me down with MTV

Do you miss the Andy Milonakis Show?

And was hotbox with Dumbfounded as fun as it sounds?

I miss it I guess. Dumbfounded is dope, yeah it was fun

will you be my friend if i pay you

Probably haha

How do people usually react to your actual age?

People are annoying and pushy.....Even if I shrug it off and tell them that it's annoying, they still continue to push.....Not a lot of people are really cool, socially....my biggest problem with going out is dealing with idiots.

If you had to force your entire life philosophy into a single sentence, what would it be?

Regret is a waste of time and never stop pushing the limits of your open-mindedness

Will you come to my birthday party

yeah just send me 20K

I loved waiting, very much a happy movie for me. Is that really what you were like as a teenager or is it all part of a bigger stage persona? Either way brilliant film, hilarious part played by you.

I started smoking weed at an early age, and I started drinking 40's at probably 14 or 15, so yeah, that was pretty much what I was like....I also worked as a busboy. Damn, that was my life.

does twin steven try to have sex with you? if so whos on the bottom and whos on top?

He's not my type, cuz he has a weewee

Dude, why are you a Lee-head?

sorry

can you rap over my beat?

probably not, but you never know

I remember I once crushed the spirit of two pre-teen girls wanting to catch the new episode of Degrassi by claiming the remote, switching it to The Andy Milonakis Show and chuckling to the beat of Slim Jim Dolly. No question, just reminiscing.

Good luck with everything you're up to nowadays man.

haha sweet.

K guys, thanks for all the questions. I'm going to be gone for awhile......maybe later tonight if I'm sauced up i'll come back to revisit this and answer a few more...

Can you acknowledge my existence?

sure

Exactly who are you?

I'm an alien pimp from the future that creates ill rhymes and strange comedy

Which dude's fish food?

A rich dude's fish food of course

Dear Mr. Alien pimp from the future that creates ill rhymes and strange comedy,

Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? If not, then what is your favorite pizza topping?

Thank you,

Cyberchief

I like black olives and pepperonchinis (spell check)

Andy, what are the best AND worst parts about being famous?

best part is freedom and having awesome fans, worst part is being bothered by annoying people who don't understand respect.

What's your favourite vine that you made?

I like breaking dishes and piss people off by making lazy vines

How did Three Loco come to be? How did you meet Riff Raff and Dirt Nasty?

Dirt saw Riff on youtube and Riff put his number out there like Mike Jones, so we called him up and started making videos with him....then we formed like Voltron

Serious question: On average, how many titty pics do you receive a week?

It depends if it's a week when I put my email on twitter or not. I get enough

How bummed are you about all this talk of radiation in the bluefin tuna? IT'S MESSING WITH MY SUSHI.

very bummed....I'm staying away from sushi for now but...FUCK

Do you feel your condition had been exploited by others?

Or is it something you simply embrace?

I get away with murder, it inspires me to act crazy in public......some people in Hollywood might try to exploit it, but who cares.

You still good friends with Ralphie from The Andy Milonakis Show?

Thanks for doing this AMA!

I don't ever see Ralphie but I love him. no problem

On average how much do you pay for strippers?

0, I actually got a free lap dance from a really hot stripper once because I told her if she guessed my age within 5 years I will pay her double, if not I get a free lapdance. She lost. It was extra hot cuz it was free haha

What does Riff Raff smell like?

baby sunflowers

What was it like working with Wiz Khalifa and Snoop Lion on Mac and Devin go to high school?

both really cool. Me and Snoop rolled a joint in the class room while security was waiting outside, then we went behind the locker to smoke it....in real life we were acting like we were badass high schoolers hahah

Have you ever shot a music video with your parents?

no but I put my dad in some youtube videos, because he's a funny Greek

How does one go about making beef stew out of lemons?

You have to use your imagination

What was your favorite sketch from your tv show?

Spoons

Are you going make a season 3 of The Andy Milonakis Show?

I did, it's on itunes

What's it like working with Riff Raff and Dirt Nasty?

Riff Raff is bouncing off walls like a super human, and Dirt is circling around like an advanced jew...and I'm sitting in a corner like a weird meditative greek

What is your drug of choice?

Does alcohol count? Weed is nice but I have been slacking on my weed skills......I also am very careful but once in awhile a Norco is pretty nice.

Any plans to return to TV?

Yes. Definitely

Where do your vines come from

God's weewee

If you put some cheese on your head, can I call you a cheesehead?

no

I always wonder if your own drugs, or not, or if its part of the comedy act.

depends what you think drugs are...im not always completely clear headed but I don't do hard drugs

Were you ever bullied in high school? I imagine there would be at least some extra attention because of your condition.

not really, I had a lot of black friends haha.

Are you upset with Hollywood with their recent fascination with Abraham Lincoln? We all know you started it with Karate Lincoln!

Exactly

Andy! I am one of your biggest fans. I ESPECIALLY love your Vines! Do you make your Vines up on the spot? How's being friends with Marlo Meekins? Thanks so much for doing this! You rock!

Marlo is awesome. I make vines on the spot, I think there is a nice payoff sometimes when you think things out but it makes me just want to put less effort into it, and be like fuck it, whatever is on my head, I'll just spend 2 seconds on and vine it. It's more natural and less punch liney

Whenever anyone asks me who I would punch in the face if I could, the answer is always you

You should pick someone else because I would see to it that you would be hospitalized.

I just wanna say how much I love you. So funny, dude. I sing your theme song all the time!

thanks! :)

Are you a better rapper than Lil B?

Yes

How is/was hanging out with Nicholas Megalis? Any drugs involved?

He's a really dope dude.....I forget, I don't think drugs were involved

You still hang with Ralphie?

nope :(

What motivates you to keep doing what you do? What's it like working with riff and dirt nasty?..also, your vines are funny as fuck

Sometime it's pure passion, and sometimes, it's the fact that I want to continue making a living off of being creative....

Any rapper or producer you really wanna work with that you haven't yet?

I'd like to sip lean with lil wayne and make a chopped & screwed track with him hah