76 Day Coma + 3 months in ICU, Died 4 times, relearning to walk for two years, Became addicted to my pain meds, then rehab 3 times. Now 6 months clean

What kind of hellish nightmares?

Family being ripped apart, raped, killed in ways I couldn't imagine for what seemed like 40 years, no joke that long. I had one dream where God asked me if I wanted a second chance and I said yes, then back to the nightmares. 13 Doctors said pull the plug...but I woke up beyond all belief.

So do you believe in god now? I'm curious. Or did you beleive in him before?

I always have. I just didn't act like a christian.

(Hopefully) future ICU RN here. Was there anything in particular that a nurse/MD/any health care provider did during your time in the hospital that made you feel comfortable, cared for, all-around good?

Happy to see you are doing better!

Great questions! Arthur, one of the nurses there is my hero of all time. He was just there for me and found out what I liked and talked about it. If he didn't know he hopped on the computer and looked it up.

Hey here is also a picture of one of the ECMO Nurses who is also one of my heroes. He visited me in rehab. http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/3571/coma2t.jpg

This makes me happy. :)

;)

So... how much did this cost?

1.5mil bill

after insurence

Holy shit. You were in a coma and now you have 1.5 million dollars to pay off?! As a Brit, this blows my mind.

Lol, America for ya.

i misread this as 1.5 million billion

lol

How did you pay for this

Monthly minimum payments rofl. Will be the rest of my life...which is fine since I'm alive to pay it.

Not that it is awesome...but have you considered filing for medical bankruptcy?

I've thought about it, but they don't expect much a month.

File now while you are young. Seriously, if you miss a payment or several you will learn of their expectations the hard way. There are literally 50 other reasons you should file as well that implicate future plans you may have. Best of luck, bro.

Oh wow thanks for info.

[deleted]

Also ty for info.

Yep, do it now, file for bankruptcy while you are young, and it will be off your credit while you are still in your 20s.

Thnx for info.

That is nice. I know we may have to consider it after our baby was in the NICU for 5 months. Seems like a small price to pay for life, but when it starts preventing you from living your life it becomes tedious. Especially since insurance already paid a pretty penny to the hospitals and doctors anyway.

Either way, good on you for being responsible. What a horrible ordeal you went through and I wish you the best of luck in the future!

Thank you and I'm sorry for your baby ended up in the NICU

Sorry guys, got to take a break for a while. Post your questions I'll answer them all. Please don't insult. I'm giving you my true experience. I'm not claiming I actually talked to God, but I would like to believe so. Everyone have a good one.

How's your day going?

Good thank you.

My cousin got swine flu at the age of 31. He went into a coma that lasted 6 months, but he never woke up. I miss him every day. I'm glad you did wake up from that coma and I'm glad you're living a good clean life now. Don't take it for granted.

I'm extremely sorry, and thank you very much. People laughed at the swine flu, but it took many lives.

Could you hear your parents and others talking to you while you were in the coma? Were you trying to answer them but your body wouldn't cooperate?

No, not at all. I wish tbh.

what were your first words when you awoke?

Mom is this real?

I had a trache (tube in throat) for 2 years. So when I first woke I could barely talk. I couldn't move because of no muscle...so I started at ceiling for 3 months.

Damn so not only were you in a coma when you were concious, but then had to stare at the ceiling for 3 months fully aware of whats happening....rough. I've had some hard times and battled addiction, went to rehab at 18, I'm 4 years sober now and am greatful for this life. Glad to see you're doing well, keep at it man

Awesome man! Keep it up!

Sorry new here...need to use reply button.

Apparently you are one tough BAMF.

LOL, thanks man.

Want pics from physical rehab?

What did god look like? Can you describe anything about that experience? Thank you for the AMA, comas horrify me.

Yes I can in detail. He had short white almost curly hair with some grey in it. He was very tan, and wore a white suit, but I believe God can come in any form he chooses.

Like this?

Yeah, but not the face and not the skin color lol. Lighter.

Thanks for the response. Has this changed your outlook on life? If you believe this was an image of hell did it change how you love life now? Are you a Christian/believer?

I'm still very depressed at times, but I believe I need to make the most of my second chance and even if I fail then I tried. I am a Christian.

That's awesome man. God will change your life. I had a lot of depression growing up, it was hard. Faith changed my outlook, who I am and how I love. Hit that book man. That's the best advice I can give you. HE will change you. You have such an awesome story. Keep sharing and loving everyone!

Thanks man, God Bless!

http://i.imgur.com/JBTy3ws.jpg

Hilarious lmao.

God is an all powerful omniscience being, but he can't prevent his hair from turning white/grey?

Maybe he chooses for it to look like that so he seems wise

heh

It was peppery

Pepper grey hair can look good too man!

lol

sounds like morgan freeman....im just sayin

ikr...weird

I also write songs now for bands in my area and sell them to them since I'm disabled.

If you are disabled, you should be getting government benefits and theoretically they should be retroactive to the start of the disablement. That should get you on govt healthcare which should remedy the medical bills?

Can't say I'm 100% positive of that, but something you should investigate.

I just have SSI because I live at home so it doesn't remedy it.

What was it like to be in a coma? Could you hear people or was is it like sleeping? Could you give some details and explanation?

Thnx for the AMA!

Sure, and np. In the coma I was in a world which I don't know if it was hell or not, but It was as real as life. My mother being raped, family being ripped apart, me paralyzed watching. Then they would die, and it restarted differently. Then I had the only good dream where I believe God asked me if I wanted a second chance. The feeling I had was overwhelmingly Ecstasy. Time was different. 1 day in coma was like half a year in there. I know this sounds crazy, but it's all true.

The brain is powerful

Very.

It does sound crazy, and like hell. Has it had any influence on you after you woke up? Fears/dreams coming back maybe?

I don't sleep more than 3 hours a night because I have light versions of the coma nightmares, ie me cutting off my fingers.

not giving medical advice, but it might be worthwhile to ask doctor about whether prazosin may be indicated for the persisting nightmares/night terrors. works wonders for ptsd sufferers as an off-label, and it's intended as an anti-hypertensive, so non-narcotic/non-habit forming. good luck to you in college, and i think your experience will help you tremendously in patient care!

Thanks so much. I have seen many therapists and no-one recommended that.

What did God look like?

I said it in a post a little higher

Some things influenced the dreams. My dad played "Hotel California", which didn't help because then I was just in a hotel with my family being ripped apart again. That's about all.

Have you ever considered writing a book about your story? Because it is amazing!

I wrote a 700 page book including almost every nightmare. I Might try and get it published. Idk. This is the first I have shared this with anyone but very close friends.

If it does get published, i would love to read it :)

Doubt it would, but I doubted anyone would comment on this lol.

I did not expect this many positive comments. It's amazing.

Wake up, Neo.

Haha, I did, finally.

Did you experience any long tunnels, angels, or generally spooky shit, when you died four times?

There were angels. 7 of them, but I didn't know it until they turned into bright weird looking beings.

Did you realize you were an addict yourself, or did it take other people mentioning it to you?

I did, and went to rehab each time voluntarily.

Were the meds actually helping with the pain or were you taking them to relax and kinda forget about what happened and/or yhe emotions

Both. My pain right now is on the verge of being unbearable, but I'm hanging in there. I take a lot of over the counter stuff.

Wow, amazing to think that I am reading this from my parent's couch on my laptop in my sheltered life, yet to graduate high school. I feel bad for the shit you put up with.

We live in a imperfect and unfair world. I just got the short stick. don't feel bad for not having it as bad as me. Enjoy life, and do the best you can!

dang bro, I dont really have a question, I just want to say you are one tough son of a bitch. Good luck to you in your future, I hope its a long and happy one. cheers

Thanks so much, you as well.

You are so amazing and strong! Good luck and what are your next steps?

Thank you so much! In the fall I start Pre-Med.

That's great! Which school if you mind me asking?

University of TN, It's all payed for by vocational rehab because of coma and overcoming addiction.

Family being ripped apart, raped, killed in ways I couldn't imagine for what seemed like 40 years, no joke that long. I had one dream where God asked me if I wanted a second chance and I said yes, then back to the nightmares. 13 Doctors said pull the plug...but I woke up beyond all belief.

I think we should help this guy out with his 1.5mil medical bill?

Nah it's okay but thanks for the gesture.

you are handsome :) Your stories of nightmares makes me weak in the knees. Why would someone have to go through something traumatic like that AFTER the trauma you already experienced? I suffer from sleep paralysis nightmares and that alone feels like i am experiencing hell.

Why, oh why, would your brain put you through all that, do you think? Have the doctors explained anything like this to you?

Well thank you so much! I don't get that often. The doctors didn't answer any of my questions. I've heard when you die the brain releases chemicals that create pleasure, but not vivid things like mine. More like a white light.

[deleted]

My dad told me it would be okay and I heard him once though.

Even soothing music had a bad effect. It's hard to say what would be good.

The washing hair things they heat in microwave even made me catch fire in coma lol.

I'm sorry but I just burst out laughing at this. It's sad, but I have a morbid sense of humor. Imagining you in this "realm" that you think is real and out of nowhere you catch fire.. I can imagine that shit getting old real fast!

Lol, it did trust me.

So... Did dying get easier?

Well was no work required on my part lol.

Nope worse.

If you could remake your story into a motion picture, with your brain experiences included, what actors would you use to play you, your family, God (better be morgan freeman lol), the doctors, your girlfriend, and anybody else involved?

I had a girlfriend who treated me like dirt 2 years after coma. Said I was too fat to be seen with in public...9 months of my life spent with that Terrible woman.

So Dakota fanning for her I guess...ugh lol.

Honestly morgan freeman fits God perfect lol, Sept little dark. I don't like many 17 yr old actors, but Josh Hutcherson fits that age and is pretty good at times. Sally Fields for mom, dad Keifer Sutherland, cause hes just a bad ass! Great question! Took foever lol

How did your friends treat you? Did they come visit you? Did you remain friends with them after all this happened?

Never came to visit me once. Haven't seen em since. I see them on facebook and they're doing well and getting engaged and such. I was surprised my best friend didnt come though. Felt terrible.

My mom crying, and thank you.

Don't know how this hasn't been said yet but you should absolutely write a book. Whether it's about your life and how you've survived, or a book about what went on in your mind for seemingly 40 years (even if you have to twist it into a book by making it only based off of what you dreamed) it would be incredible.

tldr: WRITE A BOOK!

I wrote a 700 page book including almost every nightmare. I Might try and get it published. Idk. This is the first I have shared this with anyone but very close friends.

Did you do anything to entertain yourself? Like try to do math problems in your head? Recall movies or write a novel in your mind? Anything like that. Could you watch TV?

For the 3 months I listened to music, but hated it cause I couldn't pick it due to not talking or moving.

Why did you tell god "yes" to going back?

I ask myself that a lot. I wish I hadn't a lot of the time. I honestly don't know. I literally felt it was his will though, but I had freewill.

When you woke up from the coma did you have an overwhelming feeling of relief? Or were you in shock, pain, confusion and didn't realize what had happened?

I hated the world. I felt I had just gone to hell for 40 years...not making that up. I didn't even know if it was another nightmare or real.

Was there any permanent damage to the brain? Also being in coma for 70+ days was it just like a long-term sleep paralysis?

I forget names until I hear them a couple times, forget what happens in movies, stuff like that...its not too bad. And idk tbh. I just know I was on a heart-lung bypass because my lungs weren't working due to being consolidated.

How does death feel like?

Well only one of the times I died I remember. It was awful, but the dreams were worse tbh. It was my lungs so it was like drowning then everything goes black while u panic.

Physical Rehab http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/3571/coma2t.jpg

What things did you think of while in the coma? Did you have any idea what was going on around you?

Yes, I had no idea it wasn't real, but I observed everything and understood and felt pain.

Could you make out anything the doctors said? If so, did anything freak you out?

I new I was dying before the coma, I was freaking lol. I couldn't breathe my lungs were consolodated (like a sheet of glass covering them.

Wow crazy, I had edited the question but guessed you didn't see it. What do you have planned for the future? Going back to school?

Pre-med in the fall :)

What are your future plans? College? Job?

Pre-med in the fall.

Were you planning on the medical degree before your incident ?

Not at all. I planned for culinary school.

Old time ICU and ER RN here. It was always my practice to find out what kind of music my comatose patients liked and put it on softly in the room. Did you hear things going on around you? Does music in the room make a difference?

I rarely ever got to find out how my patients did after they left ICU. Thanks for sharing your story.

I heard the beach boys once. It was nice but only lasted a matter of seconds. I highly respect your job choice! Keep at it!

that much hell (emotional and physical by the sound of it) and you have the emotional strength to 6 months after getting clean say "fuck it, i should do an AMA"? dude...

so, hate to be the one asking the superficial question here, but all the good ones i can think of have already been posted. so how many zombie/lich/general undead jokes do you anticipate when telling future friends and relatives about this?

Lol first of all thanks a bunch. Secondly...God only knows lol.

Back

Yes I remember every second in coma. As stated in previous comment :(.

Short break guys and gals brb been answering 6 hours heh

Whoa, I had swine flu and the worst I got was a crazy sore back, flu symptoms and a real bad cough. I was in hospital for a week. I consider myself fairly lucky.

Need to get equine and avian flu. Gotta catch 'em all!

Glad u were okay

Lol :)

What plans do you have for your future? School/Entertainment (Reading, Games, Movies, Music, etc...)/Work/Life in general

Also, I have to ask, is God real?

(want to clarify that I am not trying to turn your situation into a joke, I understand it is very serious situation and I just wanted to lighten up the mood)

I believe God is real. Like I said, earthly doctors said I was done and pretty much put me on vent and heart-lung bypass and gave up. Then I woke up. I am going pre-med in the fall, all paid for by vocational rehab due to everything. I'm also a lyricist and sell songs to local bands.

What pain medicine were you on?

I suffer from chronic pain, it takes over your life. I think 'addicted' may not be the right word - maybe dependency instead, at least for me. I am dependant on my medication, it gives me just enough relief to do my job and provide for my family - does that mean I'm addicted though?

I was on hydros, percs, then oxycontin 3x/day 30mg..I was a zombie...I was a addict, but to my credit anyone on that much would probably become addicted. Took a lot of work...after working so hard on walking, to get clean. I just have to suffer the pain in my chest and back. A nerve got wrapped around a rib and can't be fixed, and no pain pills because of my addiction. You take your's responsibly I'm sure. I didn't.

No you're not addicted. Addicts only think about their next high.

You said that while in the coma you had extensive nightmares for what felt like 40 years but that you also saw God. This may be a silly question, but if you had the choice at the onset of your sickness to continue living a normal life, or to go through your ordeal (which included seeing God Himself), which would you choose? In other words, was seeing God worth 40 years of nightmare?

Wow, considering I only saw him for 5 minutes that's a hard one. Honestly I don't think I would be as strong of a person if I didn't go through all I went through and def not as good of a doctor if I pass med school. So there's that. The chronic pain is torture though.

You say you died 4 times. What's it like? And if you could remember, what was it like right before you died?

It's like drowning in my case and being terrified beyond belief.

Did god explain why he gave you the nightmares? The nightmares basically sound like hell, literally.

I like to believe I wasn't truly saved and went to hell and God gave me a second chance for some reason even though I don't deserve it.

What are you doing with your life, with your new perspective on it? How do you view life now, compared to before?(current emt/ICU tech, future flight nurse here):

Honestly, I'm thankful, but still depressed a lot of the time with the chronic pain, but it's better than being dead. Also that's awesome. My dads a paramedic/fire captain, or he was before alzheimers, and nurses are just as important as doctors idc what anyone says.

Going pre-med this fall. I'd like to be a infectious disease M.D.

Did they ever do a brain scan on you to see if there was activity in your skull? If so, what did it show? You obvously has some conciensness.

They were to worried about my lungs and heart at the time. I was to unstable for drilling holes in my skull.

they didnt care enough for the easier route either lol.

Do you have a girlfriend now?

Sadly no. Everyone I new even my best friends never came to see me while I was relearning to walk, and especially not when I was a druggie.

Were you a jerk to be around? I only ask becuase some druggies are just not pleasant to be around.

I'm extremely well mannered and was raised to be polite even as a druggie ;)

In addition to this, it's sometimes very hard to see someone who used to be a friend when they're deep into drugs. They're just not the same person anymore.

I'm not excusing their lack of contact, but I've seen friends get lost in drugs, and it's difficult to think of them as the friend I used to know.

I agree, drugs take over your life. It may be their fault they started, but once you're hooked it's almost impossible to stop without help.

No, a zombie lol

How long did it take you to learn how to walk again ? ...my first comment on reddit btw

2 years to walk 4 to run (which was about 3 months ago).

I've had cancer twice. The second time turned me bitter and angry for quite awhile.

You don't seem to be that way. Why?

I'm so sorry you've had cancer. I was bitter and angry. I was addicted to drugs as well, but something changed late last year. I just deal with the pain and keep moving as best I can.

What kept you going in this bleak situation?

Honestly, once I new I would probably live I felt I needed to do something important with my life. If I can help one person I'll be happy.

Why didn't you give up? I.E. What was your inspiration?

Honestly, once I new I would probably live I felt I needed to do something important with my life. If I can help one person I'll be happy.

Do you think you'll ever relapse (pain meds)

No never, I don't want them. When you are addicted it's all you can think about. Even thought I never broke the law I would run out of my scripts and withdrawal terribly.

Have you considered the the usage of medical marijuana for pain, relaxation?

I'm bipolar 2 so I get paranoid on it. good suggestion tho.

Did at any point during the coma, you realize that you were in a coma or realize it was some sort of dream? Or did it seem as real as what's happening right now?

It seemed as real as life. Even when the next nightmare started I thought it was real.

Is there anything you can easily compare being in a coma to?

The worst nightmare I have ever hadx1000, but that was just my experience. I'm sure it's not the same for everyone.

If you had one thanks to give, would it be to god or the doctors and nurses that helped you?

God. I'm going to be a doctor, but they said pull the plug and there was no hope.

Did you see anything when you died. ie; having an out of body experience, or was it just "black"?

Well when I died is when the nightmares started to my knowledge because I was in coma from that point on.

Have you thought about marijuana? I know it sounds obnoxious to be recommending drugs to an addict, but weed is a pretty far cry from opiates, and it seems to have helped a lot people with chronic pain.

However, if you already have anxiety issues, it may cause an adverse reaction. Not recommending or discouraging OP. Just make sure you do your research.

Agreed

I'm bipolar 2 so Marijuana makes me paranoid sadly. I've tried it before.

Did you find any proof of heaven or any celestial body that represents religion in your comas or death?

Well being in the presence of God was the most amazing feeling. I can't even describe it. Hope, love, joy, pleasure, all at once.

How did your parents handle your coma? And you're addiction? Did/do you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend)? If so, same questions.

My mom is chronically ill and has a year to live according to doctors. She pushed through it and was by my side the entire coma. My father has altimeters, early stage. My addiction hurt everyone and I can never fix it. I had a girlfriend and she treated me like trash. It was after the coma when I was on crutches. She wouldn't get close to me in public because I was too "fat"

It's about time you stopped laying around and did something;)

lol

I hate everything about this post. The dramatized title, the blatant lies about talking to god in your dreams. You know how to pull the typical FWD:FWD:RE:RE crowd to your topic.

Believe it or not. Just because you're I respect you're beliefs, plz respect mine. I never said I did. I said I would like to believe it was really God. I can't prove it. If you don't like it, ignore it you fucking asshole.

This is all real and the shit I went through to have u insult me about it? FUCK YOU!

And this is my first time on this site. My friend was amazed by my story and insisted I posted. It wasn't even my idea. Look at my account...made today. People like you ruin the world. AND THERE'S PICTURES DUMB ASS! So you can't deny the fucking coma was rl.

Don't be a hater DrMadFellow! If he says he saw God and you don't believe him, just move on. Nothing more to see here.

Thank you. I just go off when someone insults me. I'm giving people my experience. I'm not saying it's truly God and not drug induced...