Hello, my name is Allena Hansen. In 2008 while I was working on my isolated mountain property, I was mauled by a predatory black bear. Saved by my thumbnail and my two faithful ranch dogs, I hiked out of a box canyon and drove myself four miles down a rutted logging road to our little rural fire station from which I was airlifted to UCLA Medical Center. There I underwent eight hours of emergency surgery and survived the subsequent onslaught of LA reality television's media hounds. Five years and a dozen surgeries later, I'm back to some semblance of my original self. Here's a book I wrote about it: http://amzn.to/11gR60C Here's a Facebook devoted to it: http://on.fb.me/Tssdu9 The Thread that inspired this AMA: http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/1bwyx5/til_a_woman_survived_a_bear_mauling_by_hiking/ Me with my beloved hounds: http://i.imgur.com/XdKJkQ5.jpg The disquieting meatlump they airlifted into UCLA medical center: (Warning: NSFW/gore) http://imgur.com/bew8pqy

And here I am, ask me anything!

I'm back, and my you've been busy all night. Thank you again for all the support! Lots of you have asked about donating to help my medical bills. Honestly the best thing you could do is drop 5 bucks on the book and give it a good review: http://amzn.to/11gR60C

Next day:

Okay, I think my work here is done. I've tried to answer every question at least once, and worked my way through the whole thread in doing so. But I'm sure there are plenty I've missed, so if I didn't get to yours somewhere along the line and you're still curious, please go here: http://amzn.to/11gR60C and check it out. The chances are I've already answered your question in depth.


None of us make it out of here alive, but I'm convinced that a snappy attitude is crucial to enjoying our allotted time on this planet. So many readers here have contacted me in the aftermath of this AMA, that it only seems fair to stick around and answer your questions as long as you may care to ask them.

If you're in need of irreverent advice, pearls of wisdom or just a grandmotherly ear to tut-tut your angst into, please don't hesitate to message me. I'll do my best to reply to all courteous inquiries.

Also, please feel free to link this to where ever; I'd love it if you guys could help me get this story out to people who might find it useful in their own lives. Remember, if a little old lady can pull it off, SO CAN YOU!

Thanks so much for reading and commenting; this has been a total hoot!

Cheers all,


Comments: 5274 • Responses: 78  • Date: 

curlymike2426 karma

I'm morbidly curious-- could you see out of the eye that was hanging down your face?

allenahansen5608 karma

My eyeball was not hanging down onto my face, but it was bitten and the other eye lid torn off. I only allowed myself a brief look into the rearview mirror, but it was so awful, I just laughed and kept driving.

Beatleboy625871 karma

I just laughed and kept driving.




allenahansen4622 karma

it beat the alternative.

Dracomister71778 karma

Goddam you're awesome

allenahansen2797 karma

Goddam, you're sweet. Thanks.

apapoban358 karma

I would imagine that people driving next to you would see the blood coming from your face. Did anyone try and stop and help?

allenahansen919 karma

The "road" was more of a dirt trail than an actual road. I've never seen another vehicle up there in all the years I've lived here, so the chances I'd run into anyone were slim indeed.

iceburgh29429 karma

The adrenaline was going crazy. She probably drove like a god damn maniac.

allenahansen1854 karma

Yep. Also, I couldn't see anything, which made for a rollicking good time.

TheReasonableCamel224 karma

I would be horrified in that situation, adrenaline does crazy things to people.

edit 2: grammar, sorry guys I'm kind of tired

allenahansen473 karma

I very nearly was, but found the alternative more appealing.

Cocky_All_Day2273 karma

If I ever found myself being attacked by a bear, what advice would you give me?

allenahansen6171 karma

If it's a Grizzly Bear, play dead. If you're in California, it's a Black Bear. Fight back with everything you've got because it's trying to kill you. If it's a Polar Bear, you're fucked.

ExBoop5127 karma

If it's brown, stay down. If it's black, attack. Now confirmed to be true.

allenahansen2653 karma

Except that black bears can be black, red, brown, black and white, golden, tan, rust or mottled. Best to go by the State you're being attacked in. California has black bears, so if you're in California and a bear is eating you, you'd best fight back. If you're in the PNW or Montana where they also have grizzlies, things may become a bit more problematic.

Edit: epic redundancy

lickslips1088 karma

What that's not true about the polar bear thing, climb a tree they can't climb. As a Manitoban I know this.

allenahansen2700 karma

Cool info, thanks for this. I'll remember that then next time I'm being mauled by a polar bear!

roastedbagel452 karma

I love you.

allenahansen789 karma

Awwwww. I love you back.

A-Quiet-Life505 karma

Half guard sweep, bro.

allenahansen980 karma

It was too big to Oompah and there were no folding chairs around.

psych0ranger770 karma

Bear, do you even train?

allenahansen951 karma


Savama2219 karma

Man I pooped at 530am without toilet paper, waddled to the closet and back without dying and I thought I accomplished something great...damn

PounderMcNasty1462 karma

Don't kid yourself, Joe. You are a true American Patriot. I salute you, sir.

allenahansen1319 karma

You guys, so funny.

allenahansen965 karma


SoFuckingBased1463 karma


allenahansen4151 karma

After it had gnawed my head awhile, I decided to open my eyes and look at what was killing me. It's expression was so bland and businesslike it enraged me, so I managed to jab my thumb into its piggy little eye and it let go of my face long enough for me to yell for my dogs. Once the dogs came running, it was diverted long enough for me to get up and try to escape down the creekbed.

Edit: punctuation

d_snizzy1591 karma

Did the dogs get out ok?

allenahansen3741 karma

Both my dogs survived! But it's been almost five years and big dogs don't live all that long. Deke's death really hit me hard. I miss him.

JaneRenee980 karma

I'm so happy all three of you survived!

allenahansen1128 karma

Me too, thanks.

Afeland299 karma

dogs are so cool and its badass that they went after it for u my dog probably would have tried to play with it

allenahansen629 karma

I think mine did too, actually, until they smelled all the blood. Then things got serious.

3030tron245 karma

I'm curious how did you get your dogs back? Did they initially follow you back to your vehicle once you were safe or did you have to go back looking for them once you had left the hospital, hoping they were okay?

allenahansen603 karma

The mastiff was waiting at the car when I got back to it, but the wolfhound made his way down the mountain and a neighbor recognized him and brought him back to the ranch.

rmsy1153 karma

You need to marry Ron Swanson.

allenahansen4307 karma

I'd probably scare the poor boy to death....

iamaredditer1169 karma

How much were you medical bills?

allenahansen2687 karma

My crappy insurance company only covered about 20% of what I needed done (Google: Mauled by a bear then mauled by Blue Cross), so I'll be paying these bills off for the rest of my life. So far expenses have been about 300K and counting.

roastedbagel2794 karma

We need to get you on Ellen. She'd take care of the bills.

allenahansen2937 karma

I'd love to meet her. I think she's adorable!

iamaredditer1883 karma

You should have put your thumb in blue cross lil piggy eye socket too.

Edit: Thanks for the gold fellow redditor. Internet fist bump!

allenahansen1923 karma

I've been trying to. And when we get a public option, I will have succeeded.

TreeOfMadrigal721 karma

That's horrible! Wtf?? Is living near bears considered a pre-existing condition or something??

allenahansen1868 karma

My policy doesn't cover dental, optical, or cosmetic -- the major injuries I suffered. "Health" insurance is the biggest scam on the planet. The company makes their money by denying their policyholders service.

FrenchBraidsAndSemen917 karma

Did you have that moment of seeing your life flash before your eyes?

allenahansen3160 karma

No. Nor did I see Jesus. But I knew that this was the moment of my death, and it pissed me off enormously. So much in fact, that it inspired me to fight back -- which turned out to be the right decision. I think.

PaperJamDipper73103 karma

i can imagine your inside the bear's jaw

"....wow..i'm going to die. I'm actually going to...wait, WHAT THE FUCK! THIS IS HOW I'M GOING TO DIE!? FUCK THIS SHIT. HADOKEN!!!!!!!!"

allenahansen1995 karma


l-eos667 karma

You have so much grit! You seem like such a wonderful, tough woman, and I am so thankful that you decided to share your story. Thank you!

allenahansen533 karma

And thanks so much for your kind words!

towlieee877 karma

Is there anything you can compare that kind of pain to?

allenahansen2094 karma

No. Having a baby was a piece of cake in comparison. Maybe like being smacked in the head by an anvil?

muhammadm804 karma

Thanks so much for doing this I actually heard about you before. What breed are your dogs?

allenahansen1775 karma

Deke was a masiff and RK is an Irish wolfhound. As it turns out, the two very best breeds I could have had in this situation, as the mastiff instinctively goes for ground (they were bred to bait bears) and the wolfhound keeps it at bay.

carrot_the_spy1287 karma

Irish wolfhounds should be classified as horses

allenahansen1863 karma

Too bad they don't eat hay instead of roast beef.

ShitsAndGigglesSake802 karma

Your story is very inspiring. Would you fight one bear sized duck or 10 duck sized bears?

allenahansen1783 karma

I'd stew them all with some shallots and beer and call it dinner.

myintrotrack799 karma

Be my grandma, please.

allenahansen766 karma

Wait until you try my cookies.

Parzival1123148 karma

I'm just saying... Ya know how people are always "if that bear woulda touched me I woulda went all beastmode on it"? OP is that person. Without all the punkassedness. Cheers, op

allenahansen79 karma

I think we all have a little punkass in us; we just need the right arsehole to bring it on.

hicketre2006771 karma

What was going through your mind as you drove back down the mountain?

allenahansen1529 karma

For one thing, I didn't expect to MAKE it down the mountain, so there was an air of the surreal about it; sort of like a crazed Disney ride. But mostly when I realized that I might indeed make it to the fire station, there was this enormous sense of elation.

ILL_Show_Myself_Out585 karma

The pain must've been excruciating though, wasn't it? Or were you in shock or something?

allenahansen1574 karma

Mercifully, one forgets the actual sensation, but I wrote about it at the time, knowing I wouldn't remember what it was like if I didn't get it down in the near term. The desire to survive overrides everything else, so the pain became superfluous to keeping myself alive. Curiously, many of the nerves in my face were severed in the attack, so there wasn't a specific pain, just an overweening one. And a whole lot of blood. The horror was the hard part. Numbing, in fact.

lugasamom763 karma

How have you recovered physically? Sorry to ask this but what specific injuries or damages did you actually suffer?

BTW - you are awesome and spectacular!

allenahansen2410 karma

Thanks! If you didn't know about the attack and saw me on the street, you probably wouldn't even look twice. Kimberly Lee is one HELL of a good plastic surgeon! But I suffered some pretty gruesome injuries to my face and head. In fact, in the ER pics, you can't even tell I'm a human being. I've had doctors look at the picture and turn it around trying to figure out where the face is in it.

Basically what happened is that the bear charged, grabbed me by the ears and bit into my face. In doing so, it destroyed the bridge of my nose, tore off my ears, chewed out fourteen teeth and much of my upper gums and palate. It also ripped off my lips and tore apart my face and scalp. Kimberly Lee estimated that she put over a thousand stitches into my head and face during the first surgery. Me right after surgery: http://i.imgur.com/gC2fSbP.jpg Me today: http://i.imgur.com/VyFbW57.jpg

Dr.Lee is at www.kimberlyleemd.com www.kimberlyleemd.com

Edit: removed redundancy

mrcydonia2915 karma

You look better than most people who haven't been mauled by a bear.

allenahansen2325 karma

Aww. Shucks. It was a hell of a way to get a facelift


You look great!

ross70701265 karma


allenahansen1259 karma

LOL. Made this all worthwhile. Right there.

allenahansen1201 karma

I FEEL great. Thanks so much!

iamaredditer444 karma

Your plastic surgeon did a wonderful job. Can we see a pic of you before the attack to put along with the current photo of you?

allenahansen988 karma

This was taken a month before the attack: http://i.imgur.com/uw38GaT.jpg

Crankenterran715 karma

How did it feel to have half your face hanging off. I woke up during surgery with part of my scalp/face peeled back and it was a very strange experience but I was sedated - how was it for you? I mean, obviously it was painful, but anything else?

allenahansen1514 karma

It felt alien, cold, like it belonged to somebody else and I was just inside watching.

lexxxgrace25621 karma

When you got to the fire station what did you say/do?

What did your dog's do once you called them over? And did they survive?

Thanks for doing this, and you look gorgeous! Your surgeon must of been great!

allenahansen1809 karma

When I got to the fire station, my big concern was that when they saw me, they'd faint, so I decided to try for levity. So I walked into the garage bay and yelled "Honey I'm home!" Then proceeded to give them every bit of personal informatin I could remember: name, blood type, shoe size...

First off, they both lived, not that much worse for wear. Once I called them, they came running, I don't remember much after that, but there was a lot of fur and blood, and growling and yelping. They diverted the bear long enough for me to get up and escape.

Thank you! My surgeon, Kimberly Lee, M.D. is a genius, so if anyone out there need a face lift, give her office a call and tell them I sent you. She's in Beverly Hills.

TheReasonableCamel579 karma

Hi Allena, thanks for doing an AMA.

Did you quit your job at the ranch?

Has this changed your perspective of animals?

Did you provoke the animal, or have any idea why it would attack you?

allenahansen1344 karma

1: My ranch IS my job. I can't quit it. 2:I have to admit, the whole misadventure has made me a lot more wary of animals with big teeth. We tend to take for granted that they're not going to kill us. Sometimes that's just not true.... 3:I think it was a predatory attack by a desperate creature. It was probably hungry, disoriented from the recent wildfire, and taking a territorial stand. It certainly knew I was there, and it had been stalking me. Probably figured I was an easier dinner than a deer -- which has hooves and antlers and can outrun it. Little old ladies aren't supposed to fight back....

thorrising569 karma

I would like to just say that you look fantastic in your after photos, and thank you for doing this AMA.

allenahansen806 karma

Thank you so much! I owe it all to my fabulous surgeon, Dr. Kimberly Lee, and some very good lighting.

killymays504 karma

Have you ever thought of going back for him and getting revenge?

allenahansen1053 karma

No. In fact I rather identified with the beast inasmuch as it struck me that it was a refugee seeking a safe haven -- just as I was. It was tracked for several days, but the hunters were unable to catch it.

Cikedo962 karma


allenahansen1169 karma

There are arsehole humans, too. But I don't hold that against humanity.

crimpingainteasy468 karma

If you were to do something to prevent this from happening to you again, what would you do?

allenahansen1222 karma

When I'm outside now, I watch my six! It was something of a fluke, as black bears rarely attack human beings. But my tomboy girlfriends who like to run and bike in the backcountry learned a valuable lesson from this. We ALL make sure we go out with a dog or two now, and STAY ALERT! Personally, I spend a lot of time looking up into the trees for lions....

A-Quiet-Life459 karma

I also live on a ranch and my mom always takes bear spray and bells when she goes hiking or running. Shits cash.

allenahansen1535 karma

Very wise, but I worry it just alerts them that dinner is coming -- and with its own seasoning.

ImminentDecay428 karma

Thanks for doing the AMA! I was curious how did the bear attack you? Did you spot it, then it chased you down as you tried to run or did it just come out of nowhere and there was no time to react to it?

allenahansen802 karma

Sorry for that mix-up. I'm new to this format.

It had been waiting for me in a willow copse, and when I paused from my work for a moment, it rushed me and took me down. One moment we made eye contact, and in the next I was in the fetal position in the sandy creek bed with this nightmare gnawing on my face.

ImminentDecay468 karma

That sounds absolutely terrifying! It's remarkable that you had the instincts to fight back! I'd probably be lying there thinking HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT A BEAR IS EATING ME

allenahansen1460 karma

That was my first inclination, but then I thought, "Damnit, I used to hang out at Playboy Mansion you miserable little creep. You can't do this to ME!" And I decided to live.

Ziss0u327 karma

What was the drive to the fire station like for you? What was going through your head? And this may sound strange... but did you listen to music?

allenahansen1336 karma

It was like the whackiest Disney ride ever. I alternated between elation and despair, but figured what the heck, I'm not likely to live through this anyway, so here's my one chance to drive like a total dickhead with impunity. Fortunately, the dirt track was so remote, that the likelihood of running into anyone else was approaching nil. Frankly, I expected to go careening over the cliffside, so I just spun the wheel and stomped on the brakes as the spirit moved me. No music, just my maniacal laughter echoing off the canyon walls.... :-)

Ziss0u154 karma

That's so great to hear, I couldn't help but imagine that it would be a bloody, sepia toned heavy breathing ride with you constantly checking the review mirror. I guess I probably shouldn't make assumptions based on horror movies I've seen. It sounds like you are on the optimistic side. Has that optimism stuck with you in the years since?

allenahansen289 karma

More just a niggling sense of wtf. Life can go seriously weird on you sometimes, you know? But it helps if you don't take it too seriously.

MrAnonymous825326 karma

Thanks for the AMA. How has your perspective of wildlife and protecting endagered dangerous animals changed? Do you still enjoy the outdoors?

allenahansen1227 karma

I still love the outdoors, but I'm a lot more cautious about my surroundings. Some of the sanctity has been destroyed for me, and for that, I grieve. I'm still an avid advocate for wild things, but until they start paying property tax I'm going to assert my dominance.

erogbass468 karma

So alpha!

allenahansen1909 karma

That's Ms. Alpha to you, dear. :-)

sirpooperscooper301 karma

How did you deal with the whole ordeal after your first operation? Emotionally, and physically.

allenahansen946 karma

Well, I wrote a book... Surprisingly, I didn't have the expected nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks et al one might have expected. Mostly, I was so stoked at the incredible job Dr. Lee had done on my reconstruction, I felt I'd be letting everyone down if I didn't do my damndest to heal and recover.

Physically, I had to relearn how to speak, eat, even breathe properly. But through it all, I was motivated by wanting to let people know that if a little old lady could survive something like this, so could they.

sirpooperscooper171 karma

That's amazing. And by the picture that i've seen your doctor did an amazing job with reconstruction. That last little paragraph really hit me. It helped me put my own problems into perspective and how i they may be bad but people have certainly been in worse situations. So thank you. This made my day.

allenahansen144 karma

You're welcome. Hang in there.

iamaredditer290 karma

So did I read correct that you have met Hunter S Thompson? If so What was your impression of him?

allenahansen1174 karma

That the human body can survive more pharmaceutical assault than you ever thought possible.

itsmig264 karma

what have you learned most from this experience?

Do you have a different outlook on life because of this happening?

allenahansen648 karma

To persist. As to the second part of your question, I'm still trying to figure that out. I a bit more wary in the wild places -- which ruins some of the sanctity I used to find there, and I resent that. But mostly I'm the same person I've always been, just a bit lumpier.

Burdenofbruce236 karma

This sounds familiar, i think it was on TIL not too long ago, if I'm not mistaken. The story I mean

allenahansen864 karma

Yeah, my son saw and told me about it, and dared me to do this AMA.

iamaredditer233 karma

Do you carry a gun or at least pepper spray now?

allenahansen622 karma

Nope. Just a big dog, or horse,

nalebunny200 karma

Do bears mark their territory? I've seen a few places where the bark is rubbed raw... could this be an indication of a bear's habitat nearby?

allenahansen463 karma

Yes, bears do scratch bark as a marker, but mostly they just leave their scat. If you see piles of bear plop in the middle of a trail, there's a good reason, and you should probably watch your six.

hopalongsunday193 karma

I worked in the ER at ucla back in 2008. I remember you. I'm glad you're doing well. That makes me happy

allenahansen167 karma

Thank you thank you thank you for the incredible job you guys did on me! The most humbling thing about this whole escapade is knowing that 100 brilliant and dedicated people came together as a team to save a literally faceless stranger. I am indebted to you all every time I look in a mirror -- or look, period.

That UCLA is my alma mater (my father was in in the first graduating class at UCLA Med and my sister was in the class of 85) makes it all the sweeter. GO BRUINS!

TheHappyZebra180 karma

Do you carry a gun with you? Should you?

allenahansen627 karma

No, guns just get in my way. I carry a large wolfhound instead. Seriously, if you're going to be in known bear country, it's probably a good idea to carry bear spray. Unless you're an extremely good shot and super cool under pressure, chances are a gun won't do you much good at all in the midst of all that adrenalin.

cre2000129 karma


allenahansen285 karma

No, it was in the Southern Sierras south of Lake Isabella. You should know, however that Monrovia of all places, is the location of the most bear-to-human interactions in the state, so be careful out there!

Dracomister7119 karma

Did it seem to go in slow motion or was it more like a quick motion of you sticking its eye with your thumb and getting away?

allenahansen263 karma

Everything happened in real time. No distortions at all. I knew that should I survive this, I'd have one hell of a story to tell, so I made a conscious decision to note and remember every possible detail so I could write it all down if I made it out of there. And I did.

unfulfilledsoul95 karma

If someone were to make a movie about your experience, ala 127 hrs. Who would you pick to play you?

allenahansen361 karma

Me. I'm sui generis.

dollyhepatie88 karma

What was the reaction of the people that helped you? Could you talk at all to explain what happened?

allenahansen207 karma

The guys at the fire station were champs. We all kept it as professional as possible and even managed a laugh or two out of it. I figured that if I kept them busy writing down my personal information they'd: A.) Not faint B.) Be able to indentify the body So I gave them name, age, blood type, UCLA patient number, next of kin, size of shoe, anything I could think of to keep conscious until the heli-evac arrived from Mojave about twenty minutes later.

tasty_unicorn_bacon48 karma

Wow, as someone who has lead outdoor trips for a living and now works in emergency medicine, this is my worst nightmare. I am so amazed at you keeping your wits together like that. I've been stalked by mountain lions before and definitely had that "raised hackle" feeling before. Did you have any sensation at all that something was watching you? How long was your recovery total? What was the most difficult part of your recovery? Do you have a partner and were they supportive? Thank you for participating in this AMA!

allenahansen199 karma

I had no inkling that I was being watched, and was totally oblivious to the danger. Even my dogs were sound asleep in the creek bed about twenty feet from me. The total recovery is ongoing, and it's been about 4.5 years now.

I've lived alone for the last twenty years, but my son, who'd just graduated from College of William and Mary and was looking forward to his real life, kindly moved back in with me for several months to babysit and drive me back and forth across the state for medical treatment. "Supportive" doesn't even come close. Child is my angel.

bored2death9741 karma

I realise you got attacked, and that this question may seem insensitive, but what happened to the bear afterwords? I know a lot of times park rangers will hunt the bear down and kill them because they had a 'taste for human flesh.' So I am just curious if you know the fate of the bear.

allenahansen230 karma

They tracked it for three days, but gave up after it killed one of their dogs. In some perverse chamber of my heart, I'd like to think it's still out there -- only now it's four years older and 200 pound heavier -- and it's waiting....


isisis38 karma

I once spoke to a man who survived a grizzly attack. He spent hours walking/waiting for help. He said he felt no pain, until the moment the EMTs arrived. The moment of him giving himself over to someone else opened him up to the pain and agony. Did you experience anything similar or were you just a badass all the way through?

allenahansen79 karma

It hurt like hell throughout, but you're right. Once I was safe in the helicopter, the pain became overwhelming. It took all my will to remain conscious and upright so I didn't aspirate and drown in my blood.

Perhaps THE most surreal experience in a lifetime of whackiness.

Jfrogz37 karma

What was going through your mind as it was gnawing at your head?! Were you accepting, horrified, strangely calm??

allenahansen148 karma

I was more pissed off than you can possible imagine thinking of all the pleasure my grizzly death would give the rednecks back in town.

LitAFartOnce16 karma

Do you take preventative measures when in the wilderness now, such as a gun, pepper spray, etc.?

allenahansen36 karma

I know I probably should, but I don't take any protection with me other than my dogs. I had a side arm on me at the time of the attack, and it all happened so fast that I wouldn't have had time to pull the trigger even if I'd had it unholstered, the safety off, and was aiming.

Pepper spray might be useful on a hike, but it's kind of a pain in the butt to carry, and you have to be ready at the trigger -- which kind of ruins the ambience of being out in the beauty of nature.

VerenaDot5 karma

Do you feel nervous about being anywhere remote now? And if/when you go anywhere do you carry protection with you now?

allenahansen14 karma

I'm a bit more circumspect when I'm out alone in the wild now, but no, I don't carry anything with me because I'm either on horseback or with a very large dog.

bglkce-1 karma

Do we have any proof this is the real person? It's rather convenient that a story from 5 years ago makes the front page and the person involved happens to come across it.

allenahansen15 karma

I was just as surprised too. How's this? Before: http://i.imgur.com/gC2fSbP.jpg After: http://i.imgur.com/VyFbW57.jpg

TheyCallMeNaterTater-5 karma

Sorry but the proof you provided is not convincing AT ALL. I'm not buying this until we get some real proof. Not after the guy who lied about having down's syndrome. Lets see a scar or something.

Edit: okay I got my proof. She posted in a reply to a comment. Sorry I doubted you miss ._.

allenahansen6 karma

I sometimes don't believe it myself. In my book I show a picture of the meatlump they brought into the ER at UCLA. I don't even look human in it.


Do bears ACTUALLY shit in the woods?

allenahansen5 karma

Why yes, they do. And so, nearly, did I.