I am Nia Vardalos—actress and writer of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, author, and mother of one daughter. AMA!

I always wondered how Joey Fatone from Nsync got in the movie. I loved his part, but still wonder.

Joey auditioned for the part and said although it was small, he was trying to break into acting and would be happy to be a part of the film. We were touched by his sincerity and felt he was hairy enough for the role.

Can we get a sequel to my big fat Greek wedding please and thanks?

Ok.

Four Fat Greek Weddings and a Greek Funeral*

^*Trademarked

Your trademarked thing just made me spit iced tea.

For those of you who know Reddit, give me some advice - what would you like me to talk about?

Rampart

OMG, even I got this reference. No way.

Guys...guys...guys, she's one of us.

Thank you GreenShepherd, I like the clubhouse.

I love My Big Fat Greek Wedding! I was just craving to watch it recently! I heard through the grape vine that the film was shot down several times because no one was interested in having you play Fotoula based on your looks. Personally I think you are beautiful and no one else could have done the film justice. Could you elaborate on this experience? Is it even true?

No one wanted me in the lead role because I was not a known actor. But before that I'd had several industry people tell me I was not attractive. I've seen two of them recently and I don't want to gloat but...they haven't aged well.

You most certainly have. Looking great!

Thank you, I was fishing.

Hi Sister!

omg, hi Munty!!

This is so exciting!

I don't know how this works. I think I'm replying, can everyone see the stuff I'm submitting?

This is adorable. Haha.

EDIT: To add in a question; How often do you use Windex at home for treatment of various ailments?

We buy windex by the case.

First and foremost, I loved your movie, it was hilarious. I still quote "Hey Ian, we're gonna kill ya" to all of my friends and it even made me ask my Greek friend Georgia about her awesome family stories. How was it shooting the movie, were there any awkward/funny moments that stood out to you because of the huge cast? I felt like everyone had great personalities and were very fun to work with. Also, how close is the movie, if at all, to your real life? Put some windex on it!

My family is a lot like the family in the movie but like all Vardaloses, I dialed it up to 11. Our cousins Toula says, there are only 3 Vardalos stories, but we tell them over and over again. (yes her name is Toula)

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Many ethnicities do this, Italians, Persians, Greeks we all think we invented society. Anyway, my dad used to say that about many words, and still does.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding is one of my favorite rom coms because the family portrayed reminds me so much of my own family. How many members of the Portokalos family were heavily inspired by members of your own family?

All. Can I get sued on here?

Thanks for the response! I am actually a budding intellectual property attorney, so I can try and give you the short (highly generalized) answer: Depending on the state, you can technically get sued for depicting someone too closely in a fictional work if the person is easily recognizable and you there is false and/or disparaging stuff written about the person. That said, the chances of any such plaintiffs suing you and actually winning are pretty slim.

Good to know. So would you mind if I wrote a character named HugPusher?

I am curious as to roughly how much the movie cost?I heard it was the number one gross income indie film, is this true?

It cost 5 million to make and is the number one romantic comedy of all time, indie and studio. Ow, I hurt my arm from back-patting.

Hi Nia, my friend told me she's your twin but I don't believe her, can you confirm? http://imgur.com/YyrrkJY ? Can I get an autographed photo confirming that she's in fact your twin?

She is my pretty twin. Yes to a photo, tweet me later?

Wow thanks that's awesome I can't wait! Her name is Wendy, it would be cool "to my twin Wendy" Ok I can tweet later or PM here or Reddit?

Tweet me later.

HI! Just want to say thanks for that movie. My mum, wife, and all the other women in my family loved it (I did too). We are Indian and the parallels are amazing.

And I am eating curried kale chips right now. C'mon, that's crazy! (and thank you for saying that, it is the highest compliment to know the film transcends cultures.)

Okay everybody, I have to go now, I will log back in later at 5 pm and will answer any questions I missed and any new questions too. Let me know any topic you want to talk about. Thanks!

Is your daughter baptized Greek Orthodox? Are you going to make her go to Greek school?

Yes and yes.

OK everybody, I'm back on line. If you're so inclined, please continue to UP vote so we can get this chat climbing. If you want to vote down, go make a sandwich, watch TV, make out with a stranger, just leave our chat alone. VOTE UP!

Larry David is a genius, right?

Yes. And a good kisser.

Did David Duchovney ever try to sex you on the set of Connie and Carla?

"Sex" me? Like sexing a chicken? If you mean that, then yes.

I love all your movies and I love! I hate valentines day lol (you and john corbett have good film chemistry) I recently read an article about how you got your little girl through adoption. Can you explain a little more about the process? and was it tough at first to bond with her?

Hi, this is my first question! Ok, yes, it was tough to bond with our daughter and I tell the truth in the book. She was almost three years old and could pack a mean punch.

How did the windex thing come intothe movie? Can it really cure any afflictions?

My dad actually used it to cure a wart.

After watching MBFGW with my family, I learned that my papou (Gus...heh) also used to spray Windex on all ailments. They must know something we don't.

it works. (and no, I don't work for SC Johnson.)

Ever thought of bringing My Big Fat Greek Wedding to Broadway?... and getting it made into a musical?

We keep getting offers to do it and it's very nice, but I keep thinking My Life In Ruins would be a better musical.

Im sure more than just a couple of 27 year old males, like myself, will agree that if they are channel surfing on a lazy sunday, and come across MBFGW, he will probably watch the rest of the film and love every second of it.

What are some of your guilty pleasures? Film, food, etc.

Thanks Ms Vardalos.

Thank you for saying that. I remember a moment is a mall - a giant football playing type due whispered that MBFGW was his favorite movie. And he teared up. It was so cool, I wanted to tell everyone around me but was afraid of his biceps. Anyway, I like to indulge in TV like Project Runway and Top Chef, I love cooking new recipes and throwing giant dinner parties. I love red wine and dry martinis. Wait, this sounds like a dating profile...

Are Seth Rogen and Lauren Miller an awkward couple? Or are they awesome?

They only come over when we have Swingers Nights.

Where did the "the man is the head, but the woman is the neck and she can can turn the head anyway she pleases" quote come from?

My mom actually said it.

Hi Nia, thanks for doing this AMA.

What do you think production companies are looking for when they look at the structure and story of a script, besides an intriguing plot?

I think production companies are looking for original stories that can be produced at a low budget. So keep your crowd scenes at Wrigley Field to a minimum. Ditto on car chases.

Why John Corbett as your love interest in MBFGW? Great choice, just wondering what the process was.

Not to plug my book but it's too long to go into here and is in my book. Ugh, I feel dirty.

I just wanted to say I LOVE Connie and Carla, my sister and I may have most of it memorized. You and Toni were amazing together and the music was so great. Thanks so much for a heart-warming movie about acceptance and love in all shapes and sizes.

Here's a question. What do you think is your greatest motivation in your creative processes? I mean, what is the driving force behind your work and what do you hope to accomplish with it?

Thanks for doing this!

Thank you. I honestly am just trying to write as the fearless idiot I truly am, write from that brave place, rather than what I think will sell or be successful. Sometimes I'm able to get a studio to agree, and sometimes they want so many changes and the project becomes derivative and less original. Sometimes this happens because I've made a wrong decision on a character or story arc. Anyway, I just keep writing movies I want to be in. I wrote the book because we're sharing the proceeds among many places that get kids adopted. It was difficult to write, but ultimately, I felt was the right thing to do. I am about to go public with my personal story and it's quite scary. I'd rather make fun of my family.

I just started following you on Twitter, so I feel like I had the inside scoop on this AMA! I just moved to a place by myself, and the only thing keeping me sane is watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding on repeat. Toula completely let her family take over her wedding. Is that something you would let your family do in real life?

In my real life wedding, this is what happened. We had hundreds of guests on our side. Ian had six.

There have been a couple of “My Big Fat”-titled reality shows—i.e., My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance and My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Amusing or annoying?

All I care about is that people do not think I am affiliated in any way with any of these products. I am not.

Hey! I'm also Greek-American and a writer and aspiring screenwriter and a bunch of different things that we probably don't even have in common.

Just wondering--how did you get your one-woman show up and running? And do you think it's easier for someone who performs what they write to be more successful at breaking into the industry?

I think it's easier to write a solo show and get it seen now because of the internet. You could post yourself on youtube, you never know who's watching. Look at The Biebs' success for proof of that. Wait, did I just reference Justin Bieber?

You're the sweetest person to come out of Winnipeg, ever.

Then you're the sweetest person on Reddit.

Just had to pop in here to tell you that our two-year old daughter is named Tula, after MBFGW! I know the spelling is different, but we totally loved your character so much that it was an obvious choice. Thanks for the great movie! Know that there is a Cajun Tula out in the world!

xo.

Hi Nia! First I have to say I've always loved you as an actress and more so now hearing your story, so inspiring! As an adoptive mom myself I can relate to much of what you wrote, the emotions etc. We became foster parents in 2004 with hopes of some day adopting. In 2006 those dreams came true and in the course of the next 4 years, we were blessed with 7 little boys all biological siblings. Our hearts couldn't be more full :) And in October of 2011 we were named as one of Iowa's Angels in Adoption. Unfortunately we were unable to attend in D.C. Am I right in thinking you were a speaker at this event though? Thank you so much for all you do to raise awareness for adoption. You are an amazing person.

Your story is beautiful and makes the rest of us look like slouches. I can barely get my one daughter fed and my hair combed. xx.

Hi Nia! I am a big fan, and adopted!

I started a adoption affinity group for students at the school I work at, and was wondering if you had any thoughts on that? Would you let your daughter participate in something like this in the future? What would you like to see the group do to raise awareness about adoption topics?

I don't want to use Reddit to plug my book so will just say quickly: your group sounds great, I would hope my daughter has that same support, and the reason I wrote the book is to raise adoption awareness. And now to counterbalance that Biz Talk, I will share the disgusting thing I had for breakfast: a vanilla protein shake, blended with frozen peaches and a whole zucchini. That's Nature's Broom. Anyone want to come over for breakfast?

Thanks for the support! I'm going to get our library to buy a copy of your book so our group can read it.

I have to pass on the breakfast invite...rain check?

C'mon, you love zucchini.

Any Advice for Screenwriters? like exposition details help with structure. also do you put in camera movements e.g: 'CUT TO' in your scripts? thanks. big fan. hold me :~)

I do use camera movements because I write like a director (translation: I am a control freak.)

Is it true that, due to "Hollywood accounting", you essentially made no money from My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

No. But my mother taught me to be a lady and never discuss money. Now leave me alone, I have to count my jets.

What has been your biggest challenge professionally since making it big with My Big Fat Greek Wedding? What would you change if you could do it over again, if anything? Thanks so much!

My biggest challenge professionally is to stay true to my vision and still remain a poilte Winnipegger.

Hi Nia! I love all your stuff, I was wondering how your thought process worked in coming up with funny and original stuff.

I steal from Reddit users, whaddya got?

A million and one things. I will turn around for three minutes, take what you can.

I like the script about the dirty clown. It's mine now. Thank you.

If you were approached to do more films, would you be up for it? Or is your life too busy now?

Yes if I can keep my shirt on.

I think Tom Hanks' production company distributed MBFGW, or some such. Is tom hanks really as down to earth and nice as he seems? Does he have a dark side you ever caught a glimpse of? I know you probably will be very diplomatic about this, but we'll see.... thanks for the AMA!

Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson and Gary Goetzman produced MBFGW. Tom and Gary's company is Playtone. They're all very nice. Although Ive heard Tom has a dungeon at his house....

Not so much a question, but a thank you. Thank you so much for not just creating characters that are memorable and funny, but for creating characters that are so real.

Mom?

What is the last movie you saw in theaters. Review it in one sentence, please.

I saw SKYFALL and thought it was great until the woman who led Bond to Javier Bardem got killed FOR NO REASON!!!

Hi Nia! I think you're fantastic! Any plans on doing a book tour? If you do, Memphis would love to have you!

Thank you, I think you're fantastic too. Yes, I have a heavy book tour but am not sure if Memphis is included! It'd be great to come though, maybe it can be added? Will you contact your local bookstore and ask them to contact HarperCollins?

OMG! I loved MBFGW and was disappointed the show didn't take off. I kept pointing at my FiL and laughing "That's soooo you!" So thank you again for making that movie and I'm looking forward to more projects from you :)

Hey, thank you.

You are wonderful, love your movies! We hope to adopt in the near future. What are a few things you didn't expect, or any tips that you don't feel get mentioned a lot about adoption or adjustment? Thank you!

I didn't expect it to be so difficult for some and simple for others. The only simple answer is that sometimes one process doesn't work out because your child is waiting somewhere else.

How long ago did you adopt your daughter? I am the mom of 5 kids - 3 of who are adopted. I am looking forward to reading your book. A good friend of mine just wrote a great resource book for adoptive parents. It is called Adoptive Parent Intentional Parent: A Formula for Building & Maintaining Your Child's Safety Net by Stacy Manning. If you would be interested, we would love for you to read it and get your two cents.

Sounds great.

It is really important that we all stick together on this adoption journey because it can be rough at times. Thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you. To be honest, I'm terrified to go public. I worry I'm going to have to dodge rude questions for the rest of my life. But I'm sharing the proceeds from the book among many adoption groups who work to help kids have a better life.

So how authentic is the movie (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) to your life story?

I think I made a lot of it up but my husband says it's a documentary.

I live just down the street from Bellamy's in St. Vital...I've been eating there pretty much every weekend for the last year or so, and I've always seen the pictures of you on the wall but never asked about them. What's the story there?

That's my sister and brother in law's!

Hey, back in Athens at the Hilton you were doing a photoshoot for a magazine and I was sent to film the backstage for a site... we had a little chat about your latest (back then) movie ... just wanted to say hi :)

Hey hi! My parents were with me the whole time so they could keep an eye on my co-star Alexi's hands.

Yes we were!

YOU GUYS, my mom commented! That's my real mom. And yes, she and my dad are in ALL my movies. They work for set-food.

Did you put Windex?

I have a zit on my chin that needs its own zipcode, will you please come over with some Windex?

How often do people approach you with a bottle of Windex?

Even my Gyno made the joke.

Hi Nia! I'm a big fan and a fellow adoptive parent to a gorgeous and smart 13 month old boy. I'm looking forward to injecting some humor from the insights in your book into some of the crazy questions we're often asked. Any chance you'll be making a stop in Cincinnati with your book? Also, what's your best tip for helping your daughter understand her identity as an adoptive child?

Hi, I'm not sure which cities are on the tour, but hopefully will know more soon. As for helping my daughter remember her past: we bring it up from time to time, no matter how painful it is. We try to help her know she was not a mistake or abandoned. And we make her adoption part of her life but not her identity. It's a constantly morphing plan as she grows up.

Hi again do you struggle with writing exposition ans with structure?

I tend to not worry about structure on the first draft. I try to break all my characters by page 25, but enjoy bringing someone new in late in the second act. It helps if you never have the main character handle exposition -- have the supporting characters say all that. Explain Action is less than two lines - execs tend to skip over it. My first draft tends to be overlong, but then I put it away for a week or so. I read a printed-out version, red-penning large chunks that aren't needed. Then, I go back in and begin again. I hate writing by the way. Hate it. Hardest, most thankless and disrespected job in the world. But I love it when actors say my lines.

I absolutely loved My Big Fat Greek Wedding, it's one of my favorite movies. Did you ever think that your movie, which was considered an indie film, make it so big? Thanks for doing this AMA!

No, I'm still stunned by it all. But very very grateful.

Hi Nia! I'm Armenian so My Big Fat Greek Wedding was totally relatable and hilarious! I'm going to Greece (Athens, Mykonos, Santorini) over the summer and would love to know your favorite must see places to visit, and where to eat!

any nude beach.

I loved your clothes in My Life in Ruins, I have a similar body type to you and would love to know who designed for you. PS, Connie and Carla made me laugh until I peed myself.

Thank you, re: C&C, me too. I loved making that movie. Okay, re: my clothes, sadly, they were made for the movie, or bought in Spain and Greece. They're in storage now, I'd like to get at them too.

The adoption process in the United States is often associated with scores of red tape, waiting, rejection, and costly paperwork. I think this scares off a lot of would-be adopters.

What can you share with us about the process that you think might change people's minds about adoption?

Yes you're right, it is associated with that but is actually not true and is why I wrote the book - to dispel the myths. It's often quite easy to adopt. Sure, often not, but is worth it in the end, right? The back 25 pages of INSTANT MOM are How To Adopt from every country on the planet.

What has been your biggest struggle of adopting through foster care? My husband and I are starting the foster to adopt process and we're nervous!

Edit: what's been your greatest success in the process?

To be honest, adopting from foster care is quite simple if you use an FFA. Google Foster Family Agency to find this free service in your state or province. To further confuse the masses, it sounds like Foster Agency. But it's different.

Connie and Carla is one of my favorite comedies ever. Could you talk about what it was like to transform into a drag queen every night? What was surprising and did you learn any tips that you took into your regular life?

It took so much time just to get those eyelashes on! And the clothes are tight. Nothing like drag to make you feel bloated. But then the wig goes on, music starts and it's really fun to dance around in giant heels. You're doing it right now, aren't you?

I loved Connie and Carla, was there any reason you chose to address the subject matter (drag community)?

Because I love musical theater and the gay community equally. And bacon.

HEy Nia! HUGE fan of your work esp Connie and Carla.

My question is: As a woman in the film industry, does it bother you when people say that women can't be funny?

Doesn't bother me because nobody with a brain says that.

I love your movies!! Did you like playing the ugly duckling and doing the make over in MBFGW?

I really loved My Life In Ruins, I saw it after I went to Greece, toward the end you were a lot like my guide, how did you get into the role?

I love a good makeover but would prefer to play the duckling because it's less time in the Hair and Makeup chair. For My Life In Ruins, I took tours in many cities. Tough job.

The portrayal of the white groom's parents in MBFGW was pretty brutal. Are white middle americans the only ethnic group in America that Hollywood can make fun of without repercussions?

Have you had your coffee today? I've never heard that before, in ten years since the movie came out. I'm sorry if you were offended. My approach to comedy is "come laugh with us", not "let's laugh at them". And no, the new group to laugh at is Gingers. If you have red hair... oh boy.

Is there anyone in particular you haven't worked with yet that you'd like to work with?

De Niro, Jennifer Lawrence, Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, Kate Winslet, Jewel, Pink, Drew Barrymore, Hugh Grant, to name a few.

I just want to say that I think you are amazing, funny and you have gorgeous skin (in a friendly way, not in a "I'm gonna make a suit outta yer purdy skin" way).

And I motherfucking LOVE Connie and Carla.

Your post delights me. I'm going to go moisturize now.

Are we going to see you guest star on Cougar Town again? I loved that episode.

I hope so. I really liked sitting around in Ian's trailer.