Hi, I saw the last ama for this, and I think I can top most of those stories.

Here's my proof of uniform: http://imgur.com/Y2ZTi I'd take a picture outside of the building, but I think that'd give my location away.

Edit: For those of you that are confused by some of my responses, I guess I should state that I am a female.

Edit 2: Time to get ready for work, oh joy. I'll check the app on my break if there's any other questions. Also, if you have monopoly pieces for free items, today is the last day to use them :D

Edit 3: Alright! I'm going in, I'll post something here about the most interesting thing of my day later, if you feel like checking in, I get off work in 8-9 hours.

Edit 4: I am back! Today, a little boy was hanging out the back window of his grandmas car while she was asking me a question, and while she was talking to me, he leaned on the window switch, and rolled himself up in the window. This all happened like a foot away from my face, holding eye contact with the kid the whole time. I like spaced really hard and he was already freaking out before the grandma noticed and rolled him down. I'm so mean :(

Comments: 4099 • Responses: 61  • Date: 

gremwood804 karma

Has your restaurant ever been featured in fight videos on the internet?

How many times a week do you hear someone yell "WOOOORLDSTAR"?

shalene646 karma

I think there's a coning video somewhere, but no fight videos that I'm aware of.

DerNemo733 karma

Haven't worked at McD's since 99/2000 but had a crew member that would put pubic hair in every meal that went to a cop... I was nearly fired while working the DT cash window taking orders when a fellow crew member (also my best friend) got on a headset and informed a customer that we couldn't guarantee fresh hot semen on his fish sandwich, the customer was not amused...

shalene661 karma

Just last week we got accused of putting semen in a girls sandwich.

Southern Style Chicken Sandwich gets butter, looks like this: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_W-pG7tUmJk0/SCt0HrWO-HI/AAAAAAAAAMQ/gIwEOvgOGNQ/s400/McDSouthern02.jpg

except our butter is more white and creamy...

constatine01473 karma

it's more white and creamy because you came in it, right?

shalene602 karma

totally, I have time to go fap in the back, spurt on the bread, and bring it back in the time it takes to make "fast food" !!

PAY_IN_TIGERS323 karma

Let's be honest here, you totally do.

shalene544 karma

It's true, I just said it was!

DeLaNope629 karma

Any interesting crime related stories? The 24 hour McD's in my area quit being 24 hours for a bit, because too many drug deals were going down in the parkinglot

shalene1084 karma

About a year ago we had a girl that didn't believe in putting 20's into the bottom of her drawer.. She had a customer that saw that, and came back about an hour later and held her up at the drive-thru window with a magnum. She reached under the counter and hit her silent alarm then hit the floor and crawled away from the window. The guy sped off and wasn't caught.

roflocalypselol613 karma

3rd and Pike, Seattle?

shalene454 karma

Close, but no cigar!

kawikzguy588 karma

Can I get a Liter of Cola?

shalene586 karma

I'm sorry, but our largest size is only 32 ounces.

johnnyzxz588 karma

let's get real

how much sex have you had in the walk-in freezer

shalene738 karma

Everyone jokes about it, but I have had none. :D

coppeis254 karma

so others have?......

shalene317 karma

not that i know of

ccnova529 karma

How often do people walk in completely naked?

shalene1074 karma

I had a guy that couldn't get a refund, so he dropped his pants and threw his hands up in the air, saying something about freedom, and he got ushered out by cops like 2 minutes later, but no full on nudity.

YourPizzaGuy480 karma

Out of all that you've experienced, what's the worst story you have to offer?

shalene438 karma

Worst as in customer service on our part, or worst customer story?

YourPizzaGuy361 karma

Let's start with the worst customer story.

shalene1466 karma

There was some old (mid 60's) crack whore that came into our lobby with nothing on but a cut off jean shorts mini skirt, and a string bikini top. She started screaming at the workers we had cleaning lobby saying the door isn't open. They weren't really sure what she was talking about, or particularly asking them for, so she speedily walked over to the exit with two soda's in her hand and said, "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR FOR ME YOU STUPID BEANERS" At this point, I told our manager what was going on, (he's a former well known cop of the area) He shouted her name and she started booking it for the door, tripped over a wet floor sign and spilled her drink all over herself, and the wet floor splayed her legs out and everyone got to see grandma bush. He helped her up, and she threw her other drink at him, so he sat her down in one of the corner booths and called the cops, at which point she decided to take off her bikini top and flip off all the customers walking by outside, in the store, and of course the workers.

HonchoMcDucket1516 karma

I'm loving it.

shalene1230 karma


divvd194 karma

Does that song drive you crazy, and on the flipside, did you ever sell copies or offer copies of the Justin Timberlake version of the jingle?

shalene377 karma

it's annoying when someone does it and it's busy as fuck

CanielDraig816 karma

A crack whore who looks mid sixties is probably barely thirty

shalene702 karma

Never thought of that... HOWEVER! Saggy wrinkly titties are pretty age distinctive.

whatismyproblem184 karma

Drugs can do that

shalene141 karma

I believe it

AngelCuntPuncher169 karma

OH man visualizing the story as i read it ended up being far too vivid. ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿

shalene248 karma


random_human_being465 karma

You seem to call the cops quite often - so how often do you actually call the cops per day / week?

shalene916 karma

At least twice a day. Speed dial is awesome, and they're usually in the area anyways.

CrashLogic442 karma

Most sold food item and beverage?

shalene708 karma

Mcdouble/H&S, Large drinks. BOTH ONLY A DOLLAR! $2.16 with tax, and you can make it a meal for $3.23.

HonchoMcDucket1462 karma

I get real ghetto sometimes and get a mcdouble plain and add big mac sauce. It's basically a big mac minus that rediculous middle bun for cheap. I'm a McBaller on a McBudget.

shalene655 karma

you can even add the lettuce for cheaper than a big mac... AND if you ask for ONLY cheese ONLY mac sauce and ONLY whateverthefuckelseyouwant there's an option to select only, and if the clerk selects only, you don't get charged for the extra, so it will still be a dollar.

HonchoMcDucket498 karma

"NAW! I'm only paying you a dollar because shalene told me your diabolical scheme on Reddit!"

shalene199 karma

hahaha :)

Fewgtwe293 karma

Where I live that kind of meal would be like 10-11 dollars (I don't live in the US).

shalene418 karma

Eew, I can't imagine paying more than that for the shit quality

CrashLogic193 karma

lol There you go. Perfect meal for those on a budget. What's H&S though?

EDIT: Ahh, Hot and Spicy. Got it.

AMBsFather1010 karma

Hair & Semen

shalene380 karma

my favorite!

shalene185 karma

Hot and Spicy :D

purpleblazed435 karma

I went into a Mickey D's once and there was human shit on the ground. I told the girl behind the counter and she said "Not again! Those damn kids come in here and did it again"

So any stories about human feces on the ground?

shalene313 karma

People are fucking stupid, I've never heard of anyone shitting outside here, or leaving shit... but people leave the bathrooms a mess on a weekly basis.

transations392 karma

Since working at McDonald's, do you still eat the food from there?

shalene882 karma

We're not allowed to leave to get food, so if I don't bring my own lunch I usually get side salads, fruit and walnut salads, and occasionally I'll be fat and get nuggets. I literally CAN NOT taste french fries anymore... which frightens me a little bit.

Buck_Futthole572 karma

So do they make you clock out but tell you you can't not to leave?

Fuck the Eagles, 'cannot not to' Must be my tumor acting up.

shalene1180 karma

that is correct.

it is also bullshit

FatzDux387 karma

Have there been many fights between customers? If so, which has been the most interesting in your memory?

shalene2147 karma

They fight all the time. It usually starts with a large group of guys sitting in the corner, openly shit talking other customers. When those customers get enough they go scream at them. There was a biker dude that came in, and they used the "faggot" lines on him from south park, and he went over to their table, slammed his fists down, and said something along the lines of, "YEAH, I AM A FAGGOT, AND A THIRSTY ONE AT THAT... WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE GIRLS WANTS TO COME TO THE BATHROOM WITH ME?!" They shut the fuck up real quick.

throwawaydow317 karma

how much pot has been smoked in the store/back area/freezer?

shalene674 karma

... lol

*take that as you wish.

constatine01306 karma

Do any of the employees get real friendly with each other? if you know what I mean

shalene692 karma

It's like a 5:1 Women:Men ratio, and all the girls are around 17-26 so, yes, we act like girls with ass slapping, ass grabbing, flirting, cheek kissing, openly, on a day to day basis.

moturtle261 karma

Wait, I'm a moron. "We act like girls with ass slapping" I'm a girl and don't recall ever slapping/having someone slap my ass (besides, well, you know)... I must be doing it wrong.

shalene279 karma

I guess It's just something we do then? We're all very open with each other, and have a very perverted sense of humor. So, when we get hit on by douchey guys at the counter we're automatically each others girlfriends as a cover, and seeing us interacting would make it believable.

EJ88306 karma

What's the weirdest thing you've ever found in the bathroom of your "ghetto" Mc Ds?

shalene854 karma

Besides terribly done graffiti, I'd say the obligatory poop smearing on the wall, topped off with their shit filled adult sized diaper sitting in the corner with a spoon in it.

rumnscurvy725 karma

The spoon part disturbs me. I don't even want to think about why a spoon is required in this situation.

shalene1130 karma

Yeah.. when people say, "That's enough internet for today" I replace internet with Mcdonalds.

EJ88319 karma

A spoon? Someone was eating poop out of an adult diaper in a Mc Donald's bathroom?

I suddenly feel much better about my own life.

shalene178 karma

I'm just glad I didn't have to clean it up.

HonchoMcDucket303 karma

I used to work at Carl's Jr and my manager tried to get me to clean up a homeless man's shit off the floor. I simply looked at her and said "I get paid minimum wage. There is no way in hell I'm cleaning up shit. Especially, shit that came out of a human being. No. Not going to happen." She just looked at me in silence for about 20 seconds and then turned and yelled for someone else to do it. I know how it feels to dodge that shitty bullet.

shalene197 karma

I'm never doing that. I'll clean up vomit... But I'll never clean shit. I worked at a daycare from when I was 15-17 and that was enough poop for me.

Maldizzle94 karma

Perhaps they had scraped it off their ass / skin with the spoon?

shalene354 karma

3 clams

MDZoidberg65 karma


shalene323 karma

Because I have to pee :c

Reynollo285 karma

worst customer service story?

shalene834 karma

I felt so bad. This wasn't MY fault... but someone innocent got injured. Well, you know those little baskets you fry the food in? Apparently one of the little metal prongs was loose, and ended up in this old ladies chicken sandwich and busted one of her real teeth out. She didn't pursue legal action, but I'm pretty sure we covered her medical expenses.

mrkyle3272 karma

Has something absolutely terrifying ever happened?

shalene759 karma

Not to me personally, but once a girl was cleaning the mens bathroom, and a homeless dude came in and tried shit with her, she sprayed him in the face with her bleach cleaner and ran out, again, cops were called. I'd be pretty fucking terrified, she's only like 5'2 and 100lbs.


What's the nastiest thing you've seen?

shalene1067 karma

a triple angus burger with mac sauce and two handfuls of dehydrated onions.

doping_panda239 karma

What's the biggest reason for you to continue working there? I personally wouldn't want to be in that kind of an environment.

shalene833 karma

I literally laugh my ass off all day. Every crew member is allowed to refuse service on their own terms at any point. I'm allowed to be a bitch back to customers, aaaand they work with my school schedule.

Therandominator100235 karma

Favorite fast food restaurant?

shalene599 karma

Jack in the box

dogs_love_bones226 karma

whats the most recent outrageous thing that's happened?

shalene939 karma

We had a ghetto, and when I say ghetto, I mean like... "straight outta Compton" ghetto family come in and order about 30 things for them and their roudy ass kids. Apparently our food wasn't "fresh" enough. So, we sent it all back, threw it all away, and had everything remade right off the grill. Again, they came up to the counter and our food wasn't fresh enough. So, my manager tried explaining, that when you make 20 mcdoubles, by the time the last one is made, the first one is obviously starting to get cold. I guess my manager was "Getting smart with this bitch" and the finger snapping insued, and she said that she wanted all of the food made one last time, all of it made at exactly the same time (Which is fucking possible, and don't insult my intelligence bitch) FOR FREE. My manager kindly told her she'd give her a full refund, that we wouldn't be making the food over, and that she can leave her restaurant. The lady started cussing her out, and all the kids started trashing the place, throwing whatever food was left on the ground, pouring their sodas on the chairs, etc. Cops were called, and I went back to minding my own business.

Ben347140 karma

What did the cops do?

shalene336 karma

Escorted them off the premises.

BOS13451 karma

One of the few times I was rooting for an overblown police response, was disappoint.

shalene272 karma

I guess the cops here just expect the bullshit we have to call them with.

duckstaped209 karma

Have you ever been physically threatened to the point that you felt like your life was in danger?

shalene636 karma

Not yet, but I'm also an amazon, so most people don't tend to fuck with me. I had one lady go to smack me once and I just grabbed her arm and told her to leave or I was going to call the cops.

TiinSoldiier202 karma

Best fight you've ever witnessed at your location?

shalene833 karma

Two dumb ass bitches fighting over who's order was who's at the front counter. They didn't have their receipts, so we didn't know who's was who's either, and one of them grabbed fries and sprinkled them all over the other girls weave, AW HELL NAH, and the scratching and slapping started, but never fear! The cops were already in the parking lot.

gotshrimp180 karma

If a customer is noticeably under the influence of some sort of drug but not causing any trouble do you do anything about it?

shalene1125 karma

Nope. Everyone goes through rough times, and I assume that of them, especially if they're keeping to themselves. Often times meth heads only have a little change on them, and it's an unspoken rule to upgrade their 89 cent hamburger to a double cheeseburger, and give them some fries and apple slices + a water cup

P_Unit502 karma

Solid. This makes me happy.

shalene793 karma

We're not terrible people if you're not terrible people.

glowstatic172 karma

God, that's a hideous tie.

shalene339 karma

;_; It fell in mop water and was never the same.

procrasti163 karma

Do you consider some of your coworkers ghetto too? is it a "quality" when applying for a position there?

shalene538 karma

Uhh, some of them are a little ghetto, but everyone's required to look nice, and we're obviously paid to act nice. When you get your interview, they look at your experience in customer service, and run you through about 10 different scenarios on how you'd act if this or this happened. But when you get hired, you're told that you have the power to refuse service to anyone, press your silent alarm whenever you want, call the cops whenever you want, and be an asshole back to assholes, as long as you don't swear, and are basically, "witty" about it.

GreasyBeerFart158 karma

How often do gang members walk in the building

shalene332 karma

Since this is a social stereotypical question, I'd say 1/8 customers may or may not be affiliated with a gang of some sort, just based on the way they dress/talk/covered in ghetto tattoos.

[deleted]126 karma

Do you have any stories where you've been pleasantly surprised by the politeness or kindness of a gangbanger, junkie, or ghetto thug?

shalene322 karma

Basically, I'm paid to be nice. So, I am nice until treated like shit or pissed off. If anyone, be it person of not white upper class, is kind we have a nice little interaction, and we go on with our day. I try not to judge people that I just met, because everyone is different, in different situations, and as cliche as it sounds you can't judge a book by it's cover. Obviously some things are a trigger to some thoughts, but as someone currently studying sociology I've started to see things more differently.

orangekayla132 karma

How do you get the motivation to go to work every day, knowing that you work at the most "ghetto" McD's?

shalene322 karma

I just laugh at the customers, and everyone with a headset talks shit about pretty much everyone that is a douche that comes in... so finding humor in it makes it tolerable. Also, I get paid $8.75, which isn't GREAT... but I get at least 50ish hours a week, and they're flexible with my school schedule.

RobotDeelyBoppers256 karma

Congrats on the working and staying in school.

shalene186 karma

I'm actually thinking of quitting if I can't get leave for spring break + summer, I was already told I can get hired back, but they can't put that into the system as a time of leave I guess.

orangekayla144 karma

50 hrs. A week and school? That's crazy. Sounds like the entertainment factor makes it more bearable than a normal McDonald's job though.

shalene188 karma

Yeah... I do 18 credit hours, and then I work there. I sleep and do homework on any spare time that I have.

phoenix0r102 karma

But... how do you find time to reddit??

shalene232 karma

Fall back gave me an extra hour of bullshit before I have to get ready for work in an hour :D, also... I'm supposed to be studying.

RobotDeelyBoppers121 karma

Are egg mcmuffins really made with a real egg? I mean like a man cracking a fresh egg and cooking it. Or does it come in some weird half pre made form from a factory?

shalene320 karma

If you get the folded up all yellow egg, I'm not sure if it's real, but It's frozen and in packs. The white egg, with yellow center is real egg, that we crack and cook ourselves, every. fucking. morning. (If you come in hungover, our manager will put you on eggs to teach you a lesson)

RobotDeelyBoppers50 karma

That is great to hear! I get an egg mcmuffin for breakfast a few days a week and always hoped it was freshly cooked. Another question though, why are they sometimes so wet? Is there just an insane amount of grease being used?

shalene120 karma

We actually don't apply grease to the grills at my mcdonalds, my guess is that they made a lot of eggs without cleaning the grill in between, and I'm sorry about that! Next time, if you want, you can ask for it baked in the oven instead of grilled. Comes out more like a poached egg. ALSO. You can substitute shitty folded egg for real egg on any breakfast sandwich for 30 cents extra.

CanielDraig55 karma

What has been the worst single order you have had to put together?

shalene154 karma

A bus called an order in for like 50 different happy meals. Those boxes give cardboard cuts like no other, and I had to open the boxes and put the toys in. I was fucking annoyed.

ptgkbgte50 karma

What's the craziest thing you seen/heard one of your co-workers doing?

shalene588 karma

Nobody really does anything too crazy, I've walked out on a manager before, and told her she was a stupid fucking bitch in front of all the customers I didn't get in any trouble, and said manager was fired the next week for being a bitch.

As far as customer interactions, I had a guy trying to cone me, when he went fast to reach for it I grabbed it back from him, and told him to start acting like an adult, and I THREW IT ON THE GROUNNNNNND