Comments: 2127 • Responses: 50  • Date: 

scword658 karma

Do people really shit their pants when they die?

[deleted]871 karma

Often, Yes.

Arx0s413 karma

Remind me to die on the toilet.

[deleted]237 karma

Just like Elvis.

[deleted]14 karma

Elvis died on the toilet but no poop was present. I googled this a while ago. All that work and no relief.

[deleted]66 karma

I read somewhere that a lot of people die on the toilet. It's something about your blood circulation that gets fucked up when pressing out stinky sausages.

Jawshee_pdx235 karma

Personally witnessed this at a Slipknot concert. Girl was crowd surfing, got dropped on her neck and immediately shit herself. She apparently died instantly but we weren't given any real details.

[deleted]48 karma


atget77 karma

If he was paralyzed or something he could have sued the shit out of the venue. Never move people with possible head/neck/spinal injuries. Everyone should know this, and I don't know why it's not included in health classes in high school.

[deleted]12 karma

and I don't know why it's not included in health classes in high school.

It was where I went.

LessLikeYou633 karma

Is this an AMA or a morgue?

[deleted]350 karma

Best comment on here

CrimsonSmear428 karma

Do you watch Bones? What do you consider the most ridiculous forensic autopsy techniques that are portrayed on television?

[deleted]305 karma

Bones seems to not be as egregious as most in day to day things. There would be no way in hell a demo with roadkill shoved through a tree shredder would be kosher.

[deleted]118 karma

Well duh, roadkill isn't usually killed according to Shechita.

wordy312 karma

When a rapper dies, physiologically speaking, how are they able to continue releasing music?

[deleted]453 karma

Real niggas don't die, they multiply.

SRS_are_cunts294 karma

When operating on the dead, are all tools still sterilized as if you were cutting open an alive person?

[deleted]370 karma

no, just clean.

6to23278 karma

You are not worried about contamination of evidence?

FearTheCron34 karma

Its an interesting question, however I think the level of contamination required for an infection is significantly lower than what is detectable as evidence. They likely store the bodies in a freezer which would make it difficult for bacteria to take hold as opposed to living tissue at operating temperature. Also I suspect there is some limitation on how long you can take evidence from a corpse before it is considered unusable even with cold storage.

[deleted]8 karma


bitter_twin_farmer276 karma

Have you ever had to investigate a child homicide? I recently watched a program about how people were being wrongly accused of child homicide because of how difficult it is to keep emotions out of the case, on the part of the autopsy performer.Even if you haven't performed one, what are your thoughts?

edit; to sound less creepy...

[deleted]523 karma

Never worked a child homicide... uh, can't imagine it being very fun.

My first case was close enough 15 y/o DUI, he was the only one in the car who wasn't high or drunk and was actually wearing his seat belt. Going to tell his mother her only son was dead was the most heartbreaking things I've ever done.

demooo136 karma

Why exactly were you the one to be telling the mother this (it sounds like you're still training)? I imagine you don't have the authority to pronounce someone's death, and medical professionals/legal professionals should be the one's doing so.

[deleted]217 karma

He was pronounced by the coroner. I was the new guy and got the depressing jobs.

allstar3907344 karma

Note to self: morgue hazing is the most emotionally disruptive kind of hazing.

[deleted]501 karma

That was nothing.

You can re-hydrate dessicated skin and wear basically a dead person glove to get good fingerprints. Slapping your co-workers asses with said dead glove is highly frowned upon.

I was also once chased around by a disembodied vagina. >_<

allstar3907234 karma


These stories should be the basis for your AMA

[deleted]196 karma

It would have only been hilarious if benny hill had been playing and my scrubs were a rainbow flag.

stf1016112 karma

As a longtime worker in Emergency Medicine, I can see where this seems highly upsetting to people that aren't familiar with this kind of work. It's high stress all the time, to the point where your average day generally ruins the life of someone else, and this is a good day, because you did your job well. My point is the stress relief option is often as shocking as the cases that get presented. Don't hate on the disembodied vagina (sigh)...she won't need it anymore.

[deleted]107 karma

I still think that last bit crossed the line. Obscene jokes are one thing but even if it wasn't me being accosted by a disembodied bloody vagina I would have not been ok with it.

AviciiFTW131 karma

Is it true you're less likely to die in a car accident if you are inebriated due to the more relaxed state of the body and muscles?

sgtkcourt276 karma

You're less likely to become injured in any type of accident if you're intoxicated. You have almost no reaction time compared to when you're sober, so you can't do anything stupid that you think will help you. SOURCE: I fell ten feet off my brother's roof when I was in college. And I'm a DUI investigator.

[deleted]416 karma

Headline: DUI Investigator recommends intoxication as a deterrent to injury when car crashes are a possibility!

[deleted]7 karma


HagityPaktig273 karma

What's the strangest death you've investigated?

[deleted]808 karma

Auto-erotic deaths.

A guy had been giving himself alaskan pipelines (pooping, freezing poop, and putting poop back in its home). had Polaroids of it all over around the body.

tl;dr guy whacking off in ladies underwear surrounded in pic of him sodomizing himself with frozen poo while strangling himself.

[deleted]1119 karma


saucercrab210 karma

I don't care how much shit you get for dropping the ball, this comment made all the scrolling worthwhile. What the FUCK is wrong with some people?

[deleted]364 karma

that one was really fucking hysterical.

his girlfriend and mother were 1st gen swedish. they weren't fazed by it at all "OH JAH THIS IZ VERY COMMON WHERE I COME FROM."

queenofchicago139 karma

Just when I thought I have heard and seen it all...... ಠ_ಠ

gallow737104 karma

In other reaches of the world they call that a Jamaican Bobsled, just FYI.

[deleted]155 karma


[deleted]34 karma


zeldafanboy345207 karma

What was the strangest death you've ever seen at your job?

[deleted]446 karma

Meth dude and his girl kidnapp a meth cook and his girl, drive them out to the woods. They torture then about 3 days to get the formula out of them. When this doesn't work they shoot them in the heads with a edit.357 then saw off the heads and throw em in the bushes, bury the rest of the bodies. We found his written recipe for cooking old school pseuo meth, it was bloody illegible.

ladybuttchunks101 karma

wtf why didn't they just google the damn instructions? i mean come on, duh, the internet.

seems pretty drastic to like.. you know, gruesomely murder two people over.

[deleted]151 karma


zeldafanboy34570 karma

Holy shit, the sawing off heads part seems a bit overkill

[deleted]155 karma

They were really high. They didn't bother burying them or anything, just threw them in the bushes.

celeryman727175 karma

You ever cop a feel? We won't tell.

[deleted]300 karma


genesis-12a163 karma

Have you ever had to perform an autopsy on somebody you knew? I hear this is quite a common thing.

Hope this AMA picks up.

[deleted]229 karma

Missed that by a few months when I moved offices. Fortunately no, I don't think I could work on someone I knew.

tallandlanky160 karma

Do you think it is still possible to get away with murder in this day and age?

[deleted]308 karma

If you're crafty enough, it's getting harder.

igetthatreference151 karma

What's the grossest story you have?

Thanks for doing this, lolinterbutts!

[deleted]427 karma

I had a large decomp case explode on me a la L4D. He had been sitting in a cheap motel room for several days with the heat cranked and had become a bit bloated. As the doc went to do the initial Y incision it sounded like someone had pinched out a wet balloon and the doc, other techs, and the ceilling got a good smattering of the most vile smelling gore.

[deleted]348 karma


Fantikerz67 karma

Who has to clean that up?

[deleted]176 karma

There are companies you can hire.

I actually cleaned out my uncles house after he hadn't been found in a few weeks. It. Was. Not. Fun. I had to burn those clothes after, never could wash out the funk of decomp and mold.

SMTRodent18 karma

If you could have your time over, would you hire a company instead?

[deleted]58 karma

Yes. I also would have been spared finding his home made porn collection. Yuck, thanks uncle.

goldandguns139 karma

Has anyone ever tried to pay you for private time with the bodies?

[deleted]187 karma


aspiringagent19130 karma

what is the weirdest case you have been part of?

[deleted]350 karma

ID'd a guy from a hells angels contract killing. Despite what the movies tell you, dumping a body in a barrel and filling it with cement really doesn't help get rid of and evidence. Except make it a pain in the ass for me to get his teeth and hands out.

sonicdeathmonkey2132182 karma

Hells Angel contract killing

Exploding corpse

Alaskan pipeline

What the actual fuck?

[deleted]291 karma

it's a living.

Kikitheman119 karma

Do do you put the organs in the corpse back where they should be or do you stuff em all in there?

[deleted]220 karma

stuff em in, usually in a red biohaz bag. I always stitch it up after

con_c116 karma

My father was a detective for 30 years. The things I grew up knowing about... smh...

He had a pretty good sense of humor about it, though, and I have always imagined, he left the worst stuff out - so that those thirty years appeared to be more key stone cops and science (a human kidney weighs so and so pounds, this organ is on this side of the body and looks like blah) than blood soaked carpets and ruined lives.

If I could go back in time to tell my dad how to do this better, I wouldn't change a thing. He made me brave about my own body, its strengths and weanesses and how those strengths and weaknesses could be mitigated by my own choices. He hated cop shows that showed "bad" cops because he insisted that it didn't happen, and if it did, the cops who followed the rules hated them more than the public ever could, but he did make me promise him that if I was ever arrested for anything, even if I was innocent, to shut up and call a lawyer. Kind of a trust the cops... but they're not your dad philosophy.

Watching cop shows is always amusing with him because a detective will make a statement about where the assailant was standing and my dad might retort "not with that blood spatter pattern" or they might conduct a search and he would say - that's illegal, wouldn't happen.

So what do you plan to tell children about your job? Or relatives at the holiday dinner about your work?

[deleted]168 karma

I never want kids.

My relatives won't shut up about it and I have to draw a line somewhere with the gore factor.

girlinthecity21 karma

You should do an AMA but have your dad answer the questions!

Fiddlershare71 karma

My grandfather was a cop in a small country town. I would spend summers at his farm and with him at the station. He take me with him on the job for little things. Once we we're the first responders to a wreck between a motorcycle and truck. He made me stay in the car. He walked over to the wreckage, the bike was wedged under the truck. While he was looking a pack of kids rode up on bike and yelled 'was anybody hurt? " To which my grandfather picked a severed head off the road and said "you mean like this." The kids freaked out. I freaked out, Gramps laughed. To this day I don't rubberneck car wrecks.

girlinthecity67 karma

Not sure if grandfather was insane or coolest dude ever.

AdmiralAsskick115 karma

How long does it usually take to do an accident recreation and how is it done? My parents passed away about a year ago in an automobile accident and I'd just like for it to be over with, to be honest, but we haven't received anything in regards to an accident recreation or anything.

[deleted]177 karma

Accident recreation is way out of my field of expertise.

Sorry for your loss <3

luckystar_3098 karma

Have you ever visited Bill Bass' body farm, or the equivalent elsewhere? If so, what sort of experiments were they working on?

[deleted]186 karma

I currently work on a body farm, yes but I'm not allowed to talk about it. Sorry that's a crappy answer but they have you sign all sorts of NDAs

brownbearclan89 karma

Worst smell, noise, sight ever?

[deleted]209 karma

Any decomp, they are just bad man. The sight doesn't bother me. I grew up on /b/ b0g and ogrish. XP

CBruce72 karma

How much does "Bones" get wrong and is there anything that's dangerously wrong for the fans of the show to believe to be based on reality?

[deleted]186 karma

The "dangerously wrong" bit you need to worry about is what we call "the csi effect." Suddenly every potential juror thinks they know all there is to know about forensics. DNA and fingerprints are a bitch to lift, sometimes it doesn't work. Time since death can be really tricky to determine depending on condition of the body, wounds, weather patterns etc.

tallestpixie55 karma

My uncle recently died after being sent home from the hospital with chest pain. The autopsy report lists cause of death as "acute poly pharmacy" but doesn't have a toxicology report included. My aunt and I are trying to figure out if that means OD or Drug Interaction? Is that commonly listed as a cause of death rather than like "respiratory failure as a result of acute polypharmacy" or whatever? Last questions I swear. Is it normal for there to be a toxicology related cause of death but no toxicology report?

[deleted]101 karma

acute poly pharmacy usually means that the person died as a result of a combination of the drugs he was taking at the time. There is never a tox related CoD without a report. Full reports can take a week or so to get back though.

opolaski53 karma

What percentage of people die in some sort of sexy situation?

Double-barreled question: how often do you find sexy things inside people, piercings of genitalia, tattoos on genitalia, etc. etc.

[deleted]117 karma

rarely find people in sexy situations, this may be because the reporting parties "clean up" the scene before we get there. Google "Auto-erotic asphyxiation" for a better idea of what I mean. As far as other things, our old coroners office unofficial motto was "We WILL find your porn." I imagine I'll surprise some young intern when my prince albert pops out to say hello!

Sinjun1393 karma

Related story: I studied Criminal Justice in college, and the local ME's Investigator came and gave lectures in a couple of our classes.

He got a call from two uniformed officers who found a guy dead, naked, face-down on his bed. They were asking him whether they needed to call the homicide detectives.

Investigator looked around, found a HUGE box full of porn in the closet. Convinced the cops to help him lift the guy up, found a porn magazine under the body, and told them..."No need to call the detectives. This guy came and went."

[deleted]34 karma


meetoohighlx49 karma

how much can you tell about a person during or by an autopsy or investigation?

[deleted]97 karma

age sex stature ancestry time since death, manner of death... it goes on.

itriedtoquitreddit47 karma

Could you please send me naked photos of Agent Booth? I need them because of reasons. Thanks.

[deleted]46 karma

Because science.

Say no more.

atlantis_jumper39 karma

What did you major in to get that job? What subjects or internships did you take?

[deleted]67 karma

Majored in anth, worked my ass off at various coroner/ME offices.

zwerver30 karma

Did something you see, make you change your lifestyle (As in eating healthier or quit smoking)?

[deleted]120 karma

Alcoholism. I saw too many young successful people slumped over in their bathroom with puke all over the floor and a load of shit in their pants.

That ain't me babe.

nakedzombieboobs8 karma