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LessLikeYou1015 karma

I can't believe no one has asked you this:

Would you rather wrangle 1 horse sized duck or 100 duck sized horses?

LessLikeYou633 karma

Is this an AMA or a morgue?

LessLikeYou344 karma

I can fill in for OP as I was a delivery driver for quite a few years.

I pull up to a townhouse in the bad part of town. Every driver got annoyed when they had to deliver to that area because the tips were shitty and the people were incredibly shady.

So, I get out of my car and make my way to the front door anticipating the smells I'm going to encounter upon the opening of the customer's door. I push the bell. No bell. So, I knock. Nothing. Knock again. Nothing.

Now I'm angry. It is 20 degrees out. I'm standing like a target dummy in awful-town. I give it one more knock before I trudge back to my car. The door opens. There is no bad smell. And the customer is not what I was expecting.

Early thirties Asian woman in black silk robe and a thong. Her robe is open for me to get a pretty good look at everything she wants me to see. She asks me in broken English if I want to wait inside while she gets the money and I, being seventeen, agree.

Standing in her living room while she searches for some money while I stand there thinking Holy shit...holy shit...wow...wow.... She's shaking her ass and I'm looking but for some reason I have this growing feeling, other than the one in my pants. It is a sense of dread. A feeling that I know this domicile. So I glance casually from wall to wall and see pictures of this woman with her husband. Her very tall, very biker, and probably very jealous husband.

She slinks over, takes the pizza, puts it on a table near the door, and then turns back to me. Into my quivering palm she places the money for the food and uses my arm to pull herself closer to me until she's pressed against my dick. She whispers, 'Want to come inside baby?'

I look at their portrait one more time and decide that having my everything broken is not worth the sex. I back away and say, "No sorry; pizza to deliver!" with all of the force I could put into my voice. Backed out of the door, dashed to my car, and drove back to the store like the devil was giving chase.

I didn't do her in reality but I did her at least 3 times after I got home that night.

LessLikeYou168 karma

You do realize that you have done something that could result in your becoming a meme right?

LessLikeYou157 karma

Could you estimate the death toll as a result of Superman causing the rotation of those planets to stop over a period of time that we can assume wasn't decades?

Also what the hell did he attach the chains to and where did he get the materials for the chains?

See, this is why I never read DC.