I am a Janitor. AMA

No question, thanks for doing a massively underappreciated job!

Thanks friend.

Boy do we have some stories to tell!

Oh gosh we sure do! Sorry for dropping you that one time :( I still feel bad about it.

How I imagine you

I'm honored.

I'm shif

Hi shif.

Do you ever find an unsolved equation on a blackboard and solve it?

No, but i still need to watch that movie! the closest thing i've done, was go upstairs to the daycare thing at night, see a cool little drawing of a clown, and write on a piece of paper beside it, "Very nice! -staff"

awh :) that was nice.

I stared at my writing for a few seconds then laughed out loud and said "haha i'm retarded"

oh well, some little kid will probably be happy when they see your message.

This was about a week ago, i hope the little gaffer wasn't freaked out.

the little gaffer

You are just too cute!

No you!

Now kiss!

Bahahaha

Is there anything that a person could do to make your day?

Clean up after yourself, let us know of any messes you see (i love those people) and say something like "the place looks nice!" someone said that to me once, i smiled for a week.

I'll say that a lot to every janitor I make small talk with now. :)

I wish people small talked with me :(

:( This is from me.

Thanks man =) also, i like that show.

Really? I have always afraid to tell janitor's when I see a mess for fear that they would take it as me acting as their boss and looking down at them as the help.

My building is so big, I can't be in two places at once. The toilet in the front could be overflowing and I wouldn't even know about it until I do my hourly sweep. People letting me know of a mess is like a "hey man there's a mess over there, get it before your boss sees it and you get in trouble"

I once drunkenly puked all over a stall at my college. I then spent 40 minutes drunkenly cleaning it all up. My roommate came in and saw me and asked what I was doing, I guess I said "The janitor is too nice, I can't do this to her!"

You're a drunken sweetheart.

I'd feel like it would be taken sarcastically if it said that, but i'll try it next time i see a janitor.

It's possible they could take it that way. If anything, a thank you and a smile would work.

Did you ever find out who stuck the penny in the door?

Unsure about this reference. But i find change on the ground all the time!

The reference is scrubs. First episode in fact. Making small talk, J.D noticed the janitor was having trouble with a sliding door and said maybe theres a penny stuck. Thus beginning the 8 year torture on J.D.

Ohhh okay. I knew a scrubs reference would show up eventually. Thanks for the giggle.

Grossest thing you had to clean up?

We had a hockey tournament (i work at a community centre) for the people who lived in the north end of the city (ghetto). After a game of 15-17 year old kids, the loosing team decided they would trash their dressing room. Garbage everywhere, spit loogies all over the floor, piss everwhere, toilet clogged up with shit up to the rim, puke all over the top of the brown mountain, and one kid decided to shit in the shower, on top of the drain. It was a bad day.

I didn't know people could shit and throw up out of anger.

Your guess is as good as mine man.

Did you have a sweet revenge?

Nope, they were hoodrats from a bad neighborhood. I'd bet those kids would've stabbed me multiple times if i said anything.

should have gone in during their practice, and shit in their hockey bags

I would've loved to. But Each dressing room has a key for them to lock up so their stuff isn't stolen. But i guess i do have master keys...welp maybe next tournament! it's in February.

To late, best to leave it a week or so after it happens, that way its not to obvious it was you and the revenge is still sweet.

I like that idea, a lot.

Go shit in their bags this febuary.

Honestly, i will try my best.

We had a hockey tournament (i work at a community centre) for the people who lived in the north end of the city (ghetto).

Shit, do you live in winnipeg?

Yep.

How often do people take a duke in the urinal?

Maybe once ever 2-3 months. Depends how mad/drunk the individual is.

I have to say I've never been so mad to where I would decide to pinch a loaf in a urinal.

The drunk adults playing beer league hockey will do some weird stuff if the ref makes a shitty call and what not. Canada for you.

[deleted]

I've never understood their logic in that. "FUCK i'm so mad at the refs and the other team! i'm gonna trash this place and take it out of the guys who cleaned this room for us and flooded our ice before our game!"

I believe it's because they are ignorant and don't realize that someone has to clean it up.

Sounds about right. There some serious douche "bros" that play hockey here that don't realize that.

How does one go about cleaning that up?

We have those plastic things in the urinals, so when it does happen, we put gloves on and pick up the plastic thing, with the turd siting on it. Then we dump the shit into the toilet and get a new urinal net. So I don't actually touch the shit.

Awesome AMA. You comment and talk with everyone! How do you get skid marks off floors?

I'm trying my best, it's fun to talk to people. Baking soda + water into a mop bucket. Dip your mop into the mixture, scrub skid with mop.

Misread as "scrub kid with the mop".

I can't take the word "scrub" seriously anymore. It just reminds me of the 13 year old kids on halo3 acting MLG pro. "I'LL NO SCOPE YOU NOOB, FRICKEN SCRUB NOOB"

Thanks! Enjoy your night.

Thanks buddy, you too.

My grandpa was a janitor for a long time, so I figured I'd say hello and thank you for doing what you do.

If you could change anything about your life right now, what would you change?

Hello! and thanks buddy, that means a lot.

Possible change: quit smoking.

Impossible change: no crohn's disease.

I also have Crohn's! If you look on the bright side, at least you know you'll always have a nice, clean bathroom at work if you need it :)

5 times a shift homie!

Crohn's is such a bummer! How long have you had it for?

Since I was 7. I'm 19 now.

21 year old janitor with Crohn's disease here. Sure does suck sometimes, but look on the bright side, when we're having a particularly bad day we can make decent money poopin'!

Very true! Thanks for visiting. Have a good one.

I have Crohn's too and I don't know your situation but one thing that has helped me tremendously is cannabis. It stops my flare ups almost instantly plus there's research that shows it may help prevent surgery in the future. Its best if you eat it so the cannabinoids absorb in your gut. Best of luck to you, janitors are really under appreciated in our society but thank you for all you do, even if some people can be dicks with how messy they are.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21910367

I'll look into this! Thank you sir.

What toilet is worse male or female

Female by far. Tampons. Tampons everywhere.

Some girls can be real bitches with that shit. My highschool admin once threatened to close ALL THE GIRLS' WASHROOMS because people were sticking their pads to toilet seats, hanging used tampons from the doors, and trying to flush pads down the toilets. We also had this psychopath (presumably, it was her hanging her tampons) who would 'paint' the stalls red...... I'll just let that sink in...

What that hell man. That ain't right.

When my parents first immigrated to Canada back in the 80s, they worked late into the nights as janitors in a large office building for the first several years. Sometimes they took me along (they could not afford a babysitter) to help them empty desk trash bins. I didn't know any better that kids aren't supposed to work as I was only 4, but I didn't care since I had access to all the sugar cubes i could get my hands on. my parents would sneak me in as soon as the office was empty to avoid being caught by the manager. Work was never anything more than emptying trash bins for an hour, but i would spend the next few hours watching mom and dad clean EVERYTHING. I think too many people treat janitors as lesser human beings, please don't ever let people make you feel down because of your job title and duties. seeing how hard my parents worked and how far they've come, I always take the time to smile, talk to, or thank janitors. I know that some of us have to start somewhere and it is an honest job and honest wage. Thank you for all your great work. I know it ain't easy.

Awe man that was great to read, thank you so much for the comment. Working in a big office building would be 10 times harder than my job, so kudos to your parents for getting through it. I actually enjoy my job. I'm only 19, so it was either this, or flipping burgers. I made the right choice.

Hey buddy, the place looks nice :D

AWEE thanks friend. Have a good one.

Where do you work? Hospital? School? Office?

I work at a community centre. We have 2 indoor hockey rinks, 3 outdoor ones, a gymnasium, a "great hall" and a weight room. Big place.

Interesting... How much of the area are you responsible for?

The whole building. i help the zambone with floods, clean the dressing rooms, clean the gym after a rental, set up tables and chairs if there's a social that night (same goes for the hall), wipe down the weights at night, and this winter i'll be flooding the outdoor ice too.

'Social' ..... I knew it!

Cheers fellow Winnipegger!

Shit, you caught me! Haha

How long have you been doing this? Why?

About 10 months now. Not that long. It's an easy going job, with some physical work. Close to home, no dress code, i like hockey. I just got my GED (i'm only 19). I need to save up cash for school. I enjoy my job.

I don't know why, but when I read your AMA intro, I instantly assumed you were a 40+ family guy with greying/white hair, a nice moustache and wearing blue overalls or something :)

Haha i laughed a fair bit just now. Most of the old guys i work with fit that description, minus the overalls. I just like being friendly and polite.

I noticed you have had a Reddit account for about 10 months too. Is there any correlation between the two?

Just coincidence haha

any idea what you are going to school for?

in the same boat sorta, GED and 19, going to school (it will only cost me a low $250,000 total!) and working

Funeral Directing, i want to be a mortician.

well, your future job is related to mine sort of in a bad way O_o

Haha, how so? what will you be doing?

right now I am a patient transport at a hospital

future, I will be a doctor if all goes to plan

Planning to steal my business I see. Haha kidding, but good luck buddy :)

well, probably not your business.

I want to pediatrics, possibly neonatolgoy. any reason you want to be a mortician?

Dead bodies don't scare me. I like gore movies. I frequent the "bad" subreddits often because I think it's interesting to see what happens to the human body. The pay is also nice.

Just realized how creepy that sounded. Whoops.

I like that you have a sense of humor about your future career. There's a house in my neighborhood that has a hearse parked in the driveway, and the licence plate reads, "VAKANCY".

That's awesome! Any chance you could get a pic?

Thanks for doing your job! I, for one, value places that are well kept.

Thanks buddy, i appreciate it.

do you ever see people just litter in front of you? if so how do you deal with them

Yes, it honestly doesn't bother me that much. It's my job to deal with things like that. It isn't that hard to sweep it.

That's a sincerely good attitude to have. The way I approach work (IT) if people didn't "break" their computers, I wouldn't have a job. Plus I know that people don't usually break them intentionally.

Good attitudes, away!

I can't believe how Zen you are

:) I try. Thanks for visiting.

Are you considering increasing funds to the space program?

Edit: grammar

My biggest concern right now is If there will be an NHL season this year.

Do you clean bathrooms? If so when do you clean the opposite sex's bathrooms? Are you aloud in there for cleaning purposes? I've always wondered this.

I clean bathrooms. It really depends how busy the place is. If it's busy, i have to stand infront of the door waiting for people to leave, asking "how many are left?" then run in and clean the big things as fast as i can, cause there's always the one idiot who goes "OMGZ why are you in here you pervert! i'm telling!" but if it's dead, i peek in to see if the lights are off (they're motion censored)

And then there is a whole team of seventeen years old girls standing there totally still and naked. Doh!

You say that like it's a bad thing!

that sounded a bit creepy until i read you are actually 19

Time's running out though.

Have you ever walked in on someone doing something incredibly disgusting? Are you allowed to call them on it?

Nobodies been dumb enough to do something like that mid day. Of course when i go clean the bathrooms there's usually a dude having an explosive shit. I give him privacy. But if somebody did do something crazy un natural gross, i could say "the fuck you doing!?" and tell them to get out.

Do you find that kids tend to disrespect you a lot? If so do you have a story about something related to that?

I fucking hate kids. Which is unfair since i'm only 19 myself. We have outdoor rinks, so kids show up, skate and fuck around, come inside when their cold, buy stuff from the canteen/vending machine, leave their trash on the tables and floor, then go back to skating. Rinse and repeat from 10am-10pm. Most of them don't give me personally that much trouble, since i know many from the highschool. Many of them drink too, which i don't care about, as long as they don't puke everywhere.

But whenever some kid gives me trouble, which is always started by them, i ask them what they want, i work here, i'm here to clean, let me do my job etc. But if the really get annoying i tell them they're on camera and to fuck off.

What's the worst day you ever had? Best day?

Do you like when people try start conversations with you while your working or do you prefer that they don't bother you?

Worst day i answered above, it was a reply to "Jets_Reborn". Best day was when i worked a night shift with my favorite zambone driver. he's only 20, so slightly older than me. It was a holiday, so there was barely anything going on. Only 2-3 games. The place was empty by 9pm, and we were suppost to be there till 2am. He went and got beer from his car, i took out my smokes, and we drank and smoked in the office till the end of our shift. Twas a good day.

Edit: whoops, forgot the second question. Nobody really talks to me at all. Only things like "hey man uhh..someone clogged the toilet...When i'm busy, or in a hurry, i wouldn't like it. But if i wasn't, it would be pretty nice to have a chat with somebody =)

This sounded like it could be some sort of romantic comedy where you both fall in love but then one of you gets an amazing new job and your clashing lifestyles put your relationship in jeopardy.

I'd watch the hell out of that.

And then they keep taking massive dumps so the toilet will always be clogged so they'll have an excuse to talk to you.

I can never win.

Protip! There is a link right under every comment that says "permalink". That is a link to that specific comment, and you can use that when referencing to other places in a thread.

Ohh whoops, okay thank you!

Any women's bathrooms stories?

Blood all over toilet seats, tampons on the floor, in the toilet, in the sink, beside the sink. Nothing else really that disgusting, other than the normal stuff. Cleaning up the tampons is always quite the task. I wrap my hands in paper towel until my hands look like paper towel boxing gloves, then i press my hands together onto the blood bat and drop it into the garbage.

As a girl, I'm sorry that there are members of my gender who are this gross. This is not considered normal among us. There aren't enough thanks in the world for people like you.

Thanks! I'm glad you follow female protocol haha. Thanks for visiting!

I have been janitoring (It's a thing) since 6th grade. I'm currently 20 and am still doing it. I feel your pain and that weird sense of pride when your building is super clean and people notice. Keep up the good work, I'll see you at the annual convention, right?

There's a convention!? Shiiet, I'm out of the loop. But yes, when you finish your garbage run and mopping and sweeping, hhhghhhh, feels good man.

It's a real 'hush hush' deal. Do you guys have a KaiVac? It's been my best friend since we were introduced this summer. Cleaning bathrooms has never been so fun.

Nope, I'm old school with the mop and bucket.

Respect. I've been there. Mopping is probably the most satisfying job, especially if you get the technique down. It's an art form. Keep on keeping on my friend.

I throw down with that mop like a death metal guitarist. Not one missed spot. Love it.

what's your favorite color?

Purple!

I thought it would be brown. xD

Oh you.

me too!

Lets be friends

<('.')>

Not sure if yes, or no.

that was my sad attempt at a big hug. (yes.)

Oh whoops! ok right on. How's it going?

what about me D:

Friends?

How is is that you became a janitor? fall into it? did you apply?

My friend used to do what i do before he quit. His dad is a trainer at the gym in the basement. I was desperate for a job, his dad put a good word in for me. Got a call a few days later to show up tomorrow and help set up tables and chairs for a social. That's that!

Ever have to clean cum off a wall?

No, thank god. But one of my co workers found 2 people naked, banging in the middle of the fresh ice at 1am when a social was going on. They must've been cold. This was before I started working there.

Do you like cats or dogs?

I fucking love cats. Especially my own.

It's confirmed. He's a redditor.

I've posted pictures of my handsome man, check my first submission.

Do you wanna see my cat?!

Yes! Post pic.

Behold, my Sunkissed! <3

http://i.imgur.com/BAqaQ.jpg

AWWWEEEE

What tips/tricks/etc do you know now that you wish you knew when you started 10 months ago?

-When the main boss comes in to check on things/work out, walk around the building pretending you're doing something. I mean, once everything's clean and done, what am i suppost to do? Still bugs me.

-Every key/door is different. Some door locks are one way, others are mirrored, some doors lock easy, some you gotta bodycheck and wiggle. I couldn't tell you how many times i've failed to lock a door and make the walk of shame back to my boss and say "i....i can't lock it :("

-Freshly flooded ice is FUCKING SLIPPERY. Walk across it gingerly, don't even attempt to slide across it.

-Do things fast. Don't worry about being noisy. Just giv'r. That's why blue collar workers are always so noisy, they do things fast. You can't do physical work silent and quick. It's impossible.

-When you see kids being bad and messy, pick up your broom/mop etc, roll up your sleeves, and speed walk towards them with an angry face and clean something behind them "violently" they'll most likely be terrified and stop being a nuisence or they'll leave.

-Moping is easy once you get the hang of the motion of the ocean. It's like a ninja and his sword, You learn every inch of it, and know how to use it. I can now mop like a sailor.

Those are a few off the top of my head, i'll update if i can think of some others.

Did you also know bin larden was hiding in Pakistan?

What is this I don't even know what

What's your favorite thing to clean? Is there a favorite? Also any favorite cleaners for their scent or actual usage?

Beer cans are easy to sweep up. Plus, with the adult beer leagues, there's +500 cans hanging around by the end of the night, Which I trade in to the liquor store for some cash.

For cleaning supplies, I use this "cherry almond" deodorizer, which smells fucking amazing, and works great too!

Has anyone ever complained about your ability to clean, outside of your boss? Either directly or indirectly?

Never. I'm a tad bit of a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning at work. I do my best, and I guess people see that.

How many keys do you hold on your person when you are doing your job?

How many keys do I hold at work? If I had to guess, I'd say 10-12.

Edit: but I usually only need to use 3 of them.

How do you feel about the portrayal of janitors in the media? (like the guy on scrubs)

I've never watched scrubs, but from what I hear, he's a grumpy asshole weirdo, which fits a few descriptions of some of the old guys I work with. Also, the media is more accurate than you think. I don't know why, but the guys I work with remind me of scruffy from futurama in different ways.

I was a janitor myself for 6 months so I can definitely relate to your stories. Good luck with school :)

Thank you!

Do you torture people like the janitor in "scrubs" ? ;)

Not yet!