800ish pounds, can't exactly weigh myself for verification. Rather active for my size, yet slightly Agoraphobic by choice... per se.

In my lower 30's and attempting a massive diet, hopefully with the aide of Adderall. Not suicidal by any means but I do pretty much hate my life.


PICS: http://i40.tinypic.com/143j2n9.jpg http://i43.tinypic.com/261yt1y.jpg

MAAAAAJOR UPDATE! Tonight I got an official WEIGHT! I feel like a liar, a fraud, but for not having a scale I was only able to guess, I had assumed I gained the full 150lbs and more back, however apparently I didn't. According to a nearby towns' Grain Elevator, I weigh at 600-620, WHILE still big, and still needing a huge life change I'm not a full 800, which is good news for me.

Secondly, after 2 days of keto I am pissing TRACE on the ketostixs, YAY!!!

** COME AT ME LIFE!!! **

Comments: 4025 • Responses: 39  • Date: 

Duncanconstruction1670 karma

Do you find being skinnier than your average American to be intimidating?

biggieNOTsmalls1020 karma

thanks, needed that laugh!

biggieNOTsmalls958 karma

the comment was deleted... masterofstuff328 1 point 15 seconds ago (1|0)

Do you wash yourself with a rag on a stick?

I get it, its funny to a lot of people.

No I shower, and often. I shower by myself, no assistance.

biggieNOTsmalls794 karma

PICS posted, damn I think I regret it already.....

CleverReference972 karma

hey man. it's okay. this is not a malicious crowd for the most part, and i'm sure everyone appreciates the opportunity to ask questions. PS, you do not look 800 lbs to me in that picture. I'd have guessed 500 tops. cheers :)

biggieNOTsmalls297 karma

again those pics were from 2007...

IPlayTheGuitar742 karma

Once you've lost the weight, go on American Idol/America's Got Talent and show them the before and after. Guarantees you through to round 2.

biggieNOTsmalls716 karma

We once applied for The Biggest Loser, no response.

biggieNOTsmalls438 karma

Ohhhh my god! HOLY SHIT!

biggieNOTsmalls404 karma

asked to elaborate on "active for my size".

I live in 2 story house, up and down the stairs often daily(15-30 times per day), can walk around, albeit due to winter my activity has decreased some and I am aware of it affecting my ability to do things with loss of breath.

SkepticalExcitement379 karma

What kind of impact does this have on your social life?

biggieNOTsmalls706 karma

I hate people, I don't go in stores, no restaurants, which is fine, I am anti-fast food and soda.

biggieNOTsmalls336 karma

taking a break from comments for a bit, gonna actually go for a walk, THANKS REDDIT!

skylarmb46 karma

this is a great IAmA! Thank YOU

biggieNOTsmalls64 karma

now going...

always_hittingonyou242 karma

can you see your penis?

biggieNOTsmalls761 karma

I can feel it, so can my wife.

[deleted]1113 karma

800 pounds? Doesn't matter, had sex.

biggieNOTsmalls530 karma


zBriGuy403 karma

There is a rule of thumb out there that says for every 30 pounds of weight you lose, you gain another usable inch of your penis. By my calculations.....you stand to gain a usable 20 inches if you slim down to 200lbs. If that isn't motivation, I don't know what is!

biggieNOTsmalls519 karma

I was visiting my mom a few years back when that aired on Oprah, I laughed and said the same thing outloud, my wife smiled, my mom gave me a dirty look.

greenfaerie_8588 karma

is your wife big too, and how big? How does she feel about your size and your agoraphobia?

biggieNOTsmalls238 karma

not particularly, she says she loves me regardless, she's almost my worst enemy, as far as enabling.

mistr_f216 karma

Were you always overweight? How did it progress to this point? Have you ever tried to lose weight before? Anything major happen in your life that you feel fed this? (seriously no pun intended)

biggieNOTsmalls362 karma

I once loss 150lbs in the span of 5 months, but at my size it "really" didn't do much, gave uop, gained it all back, probably a little more.

anonymouslives192 karma

Can you please tell us your age,height, race and all/any health problems you're suffering from, as a result of your current weight?

biggieNOTsmalls360 karma

early 30's, 6'3" white, Caucasian. Not diabetic, sleep apnea. Really about it, I am rather healthy, mentally fucked with self hatred. Physically, besides morbidly obese I would say healthy.

MENTALLY? hate my self, angry, the food makes it worse, I am big so I hate being in public, thus stay home as often as I can, which makes it worse. I want to go for walks, but that requires being in public.

anonymouslives112 karma

Would you say that you're addicted to eating certain kinds of food?

I hate myself too and try to stay inside of my house as often as possible. I can relate in that respect.

biggieNOTsmalls198 karma

I looove food, and I love cooking. I am one hell of a cook. Specific foods? not that i have made a conscious note of.

Get help before you end up as bad as I am....

watabit102 karma

How far would be uncomfortable to walk? Do you wait for conveniences that allow you to walk less, such as a closer parking spot, or an elevator?

Also, have you flown on an airplane, if so, how was that?

biggieNOTsmalls239 karma

last year, I could walk a mile, easily, run some of it too, but went to a county fair demolition derby and had to piss so bad I decided to go to the bathroom, on my way this man and woman made me feel so bad I have pretty much locked myself away and it has gotten progressively worse. Right now? before being winded, half a block.

I haven't been in a store in nearing 10 years, so no waiting for parking spots. and never flown. No way they'd let me on the plane I am sure.

negroplasty81 karma

All I have to say is fuck what other people think. If you're going out to lose weight and people are staring, what does it matter? You're going out to be more healthy, so fuck all those haters.

In regards to Adderall, I am prescribed it (for ADHD) and have used it to lose weight as well. You heard of the freshman 15? I got the freshman 45. Adderall is super awesome at curbing hunger and will help you lose weight, but its all going to come back again if you don't keep up a healthy routine. By that I mean continuing to work out and eat healthily, without the aide of Adderall.

There's my two cents.. Good luck man!

biggieNOTsmalls100 karma

thanks, and I know I "should" feel like that, but it does matter.... IT MATTERS TO ME, DAMMIT!(makes me think of the viral wresting video((its still real to me dammit))) I just want to be accepted.

as a kid I was prescribed ritalin for adhd, so I think I qualify. Hopefully it will have a few uses for me.

Jamie56477 karma

Has this AMAA changed the way you think about yourself or the world and losing weight?

biggieNOTsmalls222 karma

I haven't cried in years... until today!

johnsmcjohn75 karma

What do you do for a living to afford enough food to get that big?(sorry if this sounds mean, but I don't know how else to word it)

biggieNOTsmalls269 karma

unemelpoyed, technically disabled. I want to provide, I want to be a citizen. Most of all I just want my life back....

[deleted]73 karma

You don't look anywhere near 800lb. More like 500 or 600. How tall are you?

biggieNOTsmalls99 karma

6'3" last weigh I was 745... bigger since.

biggieNOTsmalls77 karma

the pics are from 2007.

Nitro18763 karma

serious questions:

1) Have you thought about lap-band surgery?

2) How is the circulation in your ankles?

3) Where abouts do you live?

biggieNOTsmalls82 karma

  1. Every god damn day of my life.]
  2. Superb, I wear compression socks to keep the fluid off my legs. Although I often get a numb, burning sensation on the outside of my thighs. But only when in bed, trying to sleep.
  3. Well......

Nitro18742 karma


1: Why don't you get it? Is it expensive where you live?

2: Good to hear. Last thing you want is bad circulation in your feet when you're heavy - I have a friend who is having problems... which may or may not be an isolated issue.

3: I forgot your post said "American"... you seem like an alright guy, was gonna buy you a beer or somethin... but you're not close enough unfortunately.

More questions:

  1. How long have you been married for?

  2. Do you have other friends in the same situation?

  3. How do you cope with family pestering you? If they do at all?

biggieNOTsmalls55 karma

  1. No money, disabled, looked into it before, not over yet.
  2. It isn't isolated, the compression socks do amazing wonders.
  3. Not a drinker anyways, but thanks, LOL!

MORE...1. 10 years. 2. No, but some family. 3. I distance myself. Basically cast myself away, lie to myself, forget it exists.

CountMalachi55 karma

Here's a question. Don't be humble about it: but are you a really funny guy? I know a really large guy with a really hot wife, and he is the funniest person I've ever met. His wife says she'd marry Quasimodo if he could crack her up the way Paul (large dude) does. Women like to laugh.

biggieNOTsmalls99 karma

I like to think I am, that is all us big people have, to make others laugh, right now as I respond to comments I don't feel funny though.

MoltenSteel52 karma

What have your meals consisted of recently compared to what you have eaten in the past?

biggieNOTsmalls122 karma

now, with the help of unprescribed adderall, which hopefully will change tomorrow(doctors appointment) it consists of...

protein drink for breakfast and as snacks when hungry, lunch is small and dinner is a piece of meat the size of a deck of cards and a cup of veggies.

biggieNOTsmalls152 karma

I'm just soooo hungry, like I said, I eat and remain hungry, there is no OFF switch, I never get full, just eat and eat.

Ah_Pook128 karma

I have left reddit for Voat due to years of admin mismanagement and preferential treatment for certain subreddits and users holding certain political and ideological views.

The situation has gotten especially worse since the appointment of Ellen Pao as CEO, culminating in the seemingly unjustified firings of several valuable employees and bans on hundreds of vibrant communities on completely trumped-up charges.

The resignation of Ellen Pao and the appointment of Steve Huffman as CEO, despite initial hopes, has continued the same trend.

As an act of protest, I have chosen to redact all the comments I've ever made on reddit, overwriting them with this message.

If you would like to do the same, install TamperMonkey for Chrome, GreaseMonkey for Firefox, NinjaKit for Safari, Violent Monkey for Opera, or AdGuard for Internet Explorer (in Advanced Mode), then add this GreaseMonkey script.

Finally, click on your username at the top right corner of reddit, click on comments, and click on the new OVERWRITE button at the top of the page. You may need to scroll down to multiple comment pages if you have commented a lot.

After doing all of the above, you are welcome to join me on Voat!

biggieNOTsmalls98 karma

haha, I needed that. Thanks.

jspeezy42 karma

have you ever considered power lifting? You could probably see a lot of improvement fast if your diet is as healthy as you say, and since there isnt much cardio involved it could be easier to stay motivated.

biggieNOTsmalls53 karma

well, the new healthy diet thing is new again, it worked dropping the 150 in 5 months, hoping to repeat it and continue to this time.

Kalashnikov7441 karma

Do you have any medical conditions? Diabetic, pre-diabetic, heart disease, etc.

biggieNOTsmalls72 karma

I was diabetic once, took 60 units of Lantis twice a day and 3 shots of novolog a day, but lost weight and even though I gained it back no longer diabetic.

Vooxie26 karma

How did you lose weight last time? How much did you weigh then? How much did you lose? What was your motivation?

Good luck to you! You can definitely do it if you set your mind to it!

biggieNOTsmalls64 karma

150 pounds in 5 months, had gall bladder removed, stuck with diet. I was 750 to start, now back up to about 800.

My motivation was I wanted a life....

jaggazz32 karma

You say you hate yourself.

Is it your appearance, or do you also hate what is in the inside as well?

What is your motivating forces behind losing the weight?

biggieNOTsmalls207 karma

appearance, internally. wWthout the exterior hate of myself I am just FUCKING AWESOME!

biggieNOTsmalls31 karma

just got back from Doctor's Appointment, psych referral, new sleep study test(sleep apnea), tomorrow I have blood work but I have to fast, no food or tobacco for 12 hours, only water... SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

biggieNOTsmalls19 karma

talk of referral for lap-band surgery, obviously gotta qualify... WE SHALL SEE!

Struckinger20 karma

i work in a german hospital that performs metabolic surgery on obese people pretty successfully. have you ever considered undergoing surgical measures to reduce your weight?

biggieNOTsmalls39 karma

no money, too poor, no health insurance. I am on disability, but I don't want to be a further drain on the economy, I feel bad enough as it is.

[deleted]16 karma


biggieNOTsmalls38 karma

I often fantasize of robbing a bank in order to go to prison and be forced to eat healthy and within reason....

Zafarium15 karma

i was under the impression that people that large had to have assistance eating/preparing meals. do you require such assistance, and if so, who provides it?

biggieNOTsmalls37 karma

I am married, but I can cook, clean, shower etc. all by myself.

There was a time that my wife helped with hygiene, but I no longer require her services in that department.

zombiegodzilla9 karma

Are there any unforseen advantages to being 800 pounds?

biggieNOTsmalls86 karma

My clothes double as tents or parachutes.