IAmA guy whose bromance has turned into a gay relationship, yet neither of us admit it. AMA

I suggest you both just get married to random women that you don't really love and then plan the occasional "fishing trip" until one of you decides that it's not really good enough and you wish it could be more and that they wish they knew how to quit the other and are you getting the reference yet...

I wish I knew how to quit you.

So, this happened to me too. Decided to cobble together a throwaway to share my story as a source of encouragement... and not be accused of hijacking and karma whoring. I'll keep up with the account in case you (or anyone else I guess) want to continue talking over PMs or this thread.

I didn't really set out to write this much originally, but whatever. Wall of text with a tl;dr at the beginning:

tl;dr: grabbed a really close friend's bits, awkwardness ensued, ended up starting a great relationship which eventually reverted back to a regular bromance. I would absolutely advise trying to discuss your situation with your bro, and being drunk would really help. If you guys are as close as you say, he should at least be able to talk about it with you -- and be prepared to accept it might not end with you two being together, but still friends. He's probably trying to act cool and not rock the boat, just like you are.

It happened between me and a fraternity brother about five years ago. I was actually his Pledgemaster so there was already a lot of time spent together. From day one I kind of favored him over the rest of the pledges because of our shared interests (and majors) as well as our extremely similar senses of humor. Anyway, once he was inducted we started hanging out a lot; went to games together, studied together, played video games together, ran errands together, and all that other mess. Decided to move in together over the summer since we got along so well together. It was pretty awesome; we grew a lot closer... went camping, told a lot of stories (both sharing personal things we'd never told anyone else), hit the gym together, did some volunteer work together, helped each other pick up girls downtown, and generally bro'd out.

That Fall we threw a small football party, just us and some other fratties. Tons of wings were devoured and everyone was pretty buzzed by the end of the game. Neither of us were into big blowout parties (except for the occasional exception at the frat house) so we passed on following everyone across town to celebrate our school winning. Instead, we settled into playing video games and continuing our drinking.

We're both pretty competitive so of course we talked a lot of smack to one another. And sitting next to each other on a couch made physical jabs a lot easier. We were playing a FPS (I can't remember which) and he was about to win, so I drunkenly decided to distract him with a quick crotch grab (I kind of let it linger and squeezed a couple times) while I respawned. I didn't really think much about it at that moment and I ended up winning since he was thrown off. I did a quick celebratory dance, then looked back at him. He had... this face... I can't really describe the expression. It was like confusion met disappointment met intrigue.

I immediately apologized since I thought I'd hurt his feelings by celebrating. He could be sensitive about things sometimes, especially when competition is involved. He insisted nothing was wrong and just got up to get another beer, but there was definitely a weird vibe filling the room. I normally would just let things play out but of course I wasn't in that frame of mind at the time. I pushed and pushed and pushed until he broke down. He admitted to the crotch grab being the source of his mood change, and further admitted he actually enjoyed it. He also started getting a little choked up and teary-eyed.

Looking back on it, I totally understand that reaction. We were both generic dudes (not really the bro stereotype though) and I like to think neither of us had an air of homosexuality about us (even to this day). I'd probably be weirded out by it too.

We had a lengthy discussion about how it's nothing to be ashamed of and of course having anyone touch your bits is gonna send a nice tingle through your body. He said it felt like a little more than just a random touch. So we talked about it some more and he let it slip that he had thought about us doing more than regular bro'ing out. We're not talking, like, pulling off some hardcore gay porn, but he said he had actually had a dream that we made out. I was taken a little aback by that. I told him I was definitely not offended and I would not act any differently toward him for letting me know, but I didn't think I really shared the same views. I made a point of reassuring him we were still going to be friends and do the same things, and I thoroughly apologized for the crotch grab.

We continued talking and eventually both decided to call it a night and went off to our respective bedrooms. Our buzzes had worn off and we were both kind of tired from talking for two hours (no lie). I couldn't get to sleep. I kept thinking about everything we talked about and really thought hard about our friendship. I decided... well, fuck it. I got up and went to his room. I actually had no clue if he normally locked his door when he went to bed but to my luck he hadn't that night. His bed was pushed up into a corner, and he was curled up against the wall. I took a deep breath and took a fateful step: I casually got into the bed behind him and got into a spooning position with my arm pulling him into me.

He woke up startled and I whispered to not worry about anything and we'll sort it out the morning since neither of us had any plans. Nothing else happened that night, but I woke up with him facing me (head to my chest) and our legs entwined. We got up, dressed, and walked down the road to Wafflehouse for breakfast. We didn't really talk much at all which was incredibly atypical for us. When we got back to the apartment we both sat down on the couch and had another couple minutes of silence.

I can't really remember who broke the silence but we set out for a long chat. I told him I wasn't entirely sure what to think or what I wanted or even expected, but I had figured what the hell. Even if it ended up with nothing more than a few experimental nights, at least we would both be able to walk away with a deeper understanding of what some people go through, right? He agreed with that point of view and said it made a lot of sense. We both agreed to at least be open to trying anything and to never force the other to doing something before they're ready.

So then I decided to be first to break out with an awkward question for our experiment: "So, uhh, how big's your dick?"

He laughed pretty fucking hard. Despite the fraternity stereotype, I guess ours bucked the trend -- we definitely degraded our pledges, but nudity was never in the script. After he stopped laughing we kinda locked eyes for a minute and both shrugged in near-unison right before we both started shucking our clothes off. We both kinda chuckled a little bit at the awkwardness of us standing infront of one another naked. I poked at the tension by remarking on how in shape he was and noted how jealous I was of his upper body. He said I was ahead in the game since I had already grabbed his junk. He reached over almost immediately and copped a feel.

It was electric and, welp, a wild boner appeared. Turns out the same happened to him. "Oh, that answers that question," I said. For those interested, we're basically the same size though he's got a little more in the girth department (it's hard to describe, actually -- his is "flatter" while mine is rounder, and we end up being technically the same circumference). His balls though... jesus, what I would do for balls the size of his, they're about twice as big as mine, and mine are already kind of big (or so I thought).

Long story marginally shorter, we didn't do a whole lot that day. We set a ground rule that nudity would be totally fine in the apartment so long as other people weren't around. And that was basically all that happened for the next couple of days too actually, just us being naked and stealing glances at each other.

Later that week we got drunk again and were both naked on the couch. A commercial came on and I turned to face him. I didn't say anything, just kinda stared. He eventually looked around and we stared into each others eyes for what seemed like forever. I smiled and he smiled back. It was like a movie at that point, we slowly moved closer and closer and then a gentle kiss happened. We broke apart for a second, both analyzing the situation through our respective drunken hazes. While keeping our eyes locked, I reached over and put my hand on his chest. He smiled incredibly wide and I took that as my signal. We made out quite awhile after that, occasionally grabbing each other's junk.

It was absolutely amazing. It felt so much better and more intimate than any other time I'd made out with a girl, drunk or otherwise. There was just something a lot more raw and animal about it, you know? Maybe it was because there was no pretense about it and we weren't trying to "impress" (for lack of a better word) one another. By the end of it we were both really tired (it was late and we had been drinking for awhile beforehand). We were both incredibly horned up though. Without thinking about it I started jacking myself off and he followed suit. We were definitely showing off and trying to put on a bit of a show for each other. We ended up cumming at just about the same time, so I would say it was a good night.

edit: had to break in half because of character limit; part two
edit2: apparently I forget words
edit3: quasi-part three - just happened today; might require reading a few posts before it to get the full context

Wow, that's an interesting and awesome story, I can definitly see the similarities between what's going on with me and my friend.

As Richard Hammond once said "Man love is ok."

Bros before hos.

I know you were drunk, but how did it feel to finally kiss him? Do you think you both will purposely get drunk again, so you might have a repeat of that?

Maybe I should've elaborated a little bit more in the initial post. I've wanted to kiss him for at least a few months, so it's not like I needed to be drunk for it to happen. He, on the other hand, I'm not sure. For me it was one of the best and strangest feelings in my life. On one hand, I knew it was a point of no return and it would change our friendships/identity for life, but at the same time it felt right/ like it was meant to be.

We've been drunk since it's happened and there hasn't been a repeat. The closest we get is this weird staredown where we don't break eye-contact and kind of smile at each-other as if "i want you." It's fucking weird.

Ah i see. Well it's obviously not a spur of the moment thing then. Do you think you'll ever tell him how you feel? I know you may not want to possibly make things more awkward with him. But if you don't come out to at least each other with your feelings, you may be missing out on something really special.

Eventually I think I will, it's very hard though. We are polar opposites which also makes this an unlikely matchup. He's very closed off emotionally and doesn't really like talking about things which make him uncomfortable. In contrast to him, I'm very open, love questioning things and get very emotional. We kind of balance eachother out.

Can you tell if he remembers the night you both made out? More importantly, who initiated it? How long did it last? and was there any grazing of crotches or other "petting" which would indicate more intense and sexually motivated makeouts?

Definitely. We both initiated it. We were wrestling like I said, then suddenly we paused(in fatigue) and we kind of stared at eachother for a little then slowly brought our faces together. There was no grazing or "petting" outside the norm of an average make out, but ahem I could feel through my shorts(remember we were on top of eachother) that I wasn't the only one enjoying the moment.

I could feel through my shorts(remember we were on top of eachother) that I wasn't the only one enjoying the moment.

Faded blue denim cut-offs you never remove?

Haha, unfortunately, just basketball shorts.

"just basketball shorts"

:-0

Ok, I WAS believing you, but now I think you're just fuckin' with us! :)

Assuming you're for real though, I'm going to try to type this response on my phone...with the added distraction of a massive raging bone.

As a gay dude, it makes me so happy to read something like this. Not merely because it's hot, which I obviously would be a fool to try to deny, but because this is a HUGE PART of what we've been fighting for. All the marriage rights, anti bullying stuff, ending dadt, employment non-discrimination; it's not just for us gay dudes, is for you straight guys too. We want you to be free to do stuff like explore your sexuality with your best bud without being terrified of the consequences, without being made to feel ashamed for being curious about how good it feels to fall asleep next to eachother, without fearing what your friends or family might think if they find out, without even having to identify as gay at all for that matter. I fight for gay rights because by liberating one portion of humanity, it is something that I've always hoped would end up freeing all of us. I think I can finally see that slowly happening now and it's fuckin' awesome.

Happy for you bro, really. Have fun with your buddy and enjoy yourselves, wherever it goes. :)

Haha, I purposely left out a lot of details cause I didn't want it to sound like some hot story. I guess it was inevitable though. Thanks.

Damn that's some sexy tiems. How did the makeouts stop and was it immediately awkward or did you both pretend that it hadn't just happened?

I'm thinking the best way to deal with this might be on paper where he could have some time to think about what he wants to say before needing to respond. A lot of guys really struggle when they have to articulate on the fly, as they do in serious and emotional conversations. Maybe writing him a one page note or letter to let him know that you enjoyed it but aren't interested in putting pressure on him would get it out there in a less confrontational way...

Well we were in my apartment and my roommate was in his room down the hall, so eventually we just stopped because it was risky. We just kind of laughed it off after and continued what we were doing... which from what I remember was watching a movie.

Forbidden love? Why is it so hot??

Have you talked about "the incident"? Or just kind of pretended like it didn't happen?

My advice; if you like the guy, be a man make a move!

The only talking has been in innuendos and more flirty behavior, no serious conversation, though.

Sounds like you're in love.

I know. :)

This is pretty awesome, I seriously hope it works out for you two.

Have you ever questioned your heterosexuality before this?

I'd say I was somewhat physically attracted to guys, but never emotionally. With girls it was always both and I'd never imagined myself actually doing anything with a guy.

When I met Adam(this will be his codename) I never felt any physical or emotional attraction. Eventually as time went by and we spent more and more time with one another those feelings started to grow naturally, which I think is kind of neat.

(Hoping to fuck that you see this, as I would love to get a few answers.)

• Were/are you both straight before?
• What do both of you identify as now?
• Do you actually have feelings for the guy? Do you want to be his boyfriend? Do you know if "Adam" feels the same way?
• Has he ever had a committed girlfriend since you two became friends?
• You guys roommates?

Thanks for anything you can answer in advance.

1) Him straight as far as I could tell. Me: straight on outside, bi inside 2) Same as before 3)Yes, yes, not entirely sure 4) Nope, he's never had a girlfriend, and I don't know of any girl he's ever hooked up with. 5) Used to be

you say you know you want him, but you are used to being in heterosexual relationships. Since you still find yourself attracted to him and assuming you want to further this, do you think yourself mentally ready to receive or give anal sex from/to a man. sucking dick?

I've never had a serious girlfriend, only a few random hookups. And I'd say I'm ready if it were him.

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Gonna ride it out for a while see where it goes, we're seniors though so there isn't much time.

Would you be willing to follow up on this if things change between the two of you? I'm very curious about how this will turn out, for better or for worse.

Yes, if something dramatic changes I'll be sure to post.