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stayaround1190 karma

So, this happened to me too. Decided to cobble together a throwaway to share my story as a source of encouragement... and not be accused of hijacking and karma whoring. I'll keep up with the account in case you (or anyone else I guess) want to continue talking over PMs or this thread.

I didn't really set out to write this much originally, but whatever. Wall of text with a tl;dr at the beginning:

tl;dr: grabbed a really close friend's bits, awkwardness ensued, ended up starting a great relationship which eventually reverted back to a regular bromance. I would absolutely advise trying to discuss your situation with your bro, and being drunk would really help. If you guys are as close as you say, he should at least be able to talk about it with you -- and be prepared to accept it might not end with you two being together, but still friends. He's probably trying to act cool and not rock the boat, just like you are.

It happened between me and a fraternity brother about five years ago. I was actually his Pledgemaster so there was already a lot of time spent together. From day one I kind of favored him over the rest of the pledges because of our shared interests (and majors) as well as our extremely similar senses of humor. Anyway, once he was inducted we started hanging out a lot; went to games together, studied together, played video games together, ran errands together, and all that other mess. Decided to move in together over the summer since we got along so well together. It was pretty awesome; we grew a lot closer... went camping, told a lot of stories (both sharing personal things we'd never told anyone else), hit the gym together, did some volunteer work together, helped each other pick up girls downtown, and generally bro'd out.

That Fall we threw a small football party, just us and some other fratties. Tons of wings were devoured and everyone was pretty buzzed by the end of the game. Neither of us were into big blowout parties (except for the occasional exception at the frat house) so we passed on following everyone across town to celebrate our school winning. Instead, we settled into playing video games and continuing our drinking.

We're both pretty competitive so of course we talked a lot of smack to one another. And sitting next to each other on a couch made physical jabs a lot easier. We were playing a FPS (I can't remember which) and he was about to win, so I drunkenly decided to distract him with a quick crotch grab (I kind of let it linger and squeezed a couple times) while I respawned. I didn't really think much about it at that moment and I ended up winning since he was thrown off. I did a quick celebratory dance, then looked back at him. He had... this face... I can't really describe the expression. It was like confusion met disappointment met intrigue.

I immediately apologized since I thought I'd hurt his feelings by celebrating. He could be sensitive about things sometimes, especially when competition is involved. He insisted nothing was wrong and just got up to get another beer, but there was definitely a weird vibe filling the room. I normally would just let things play out but of course I wasn't in that frame of mind at the time. I pushed and pushed and pushed until he broke down. He admitted to the crotch grab being the source of his mood change, and further admitted he actually enjoyed it. He also started getting a little choked up and teary-eyed.

Looking back on it, I totally understand that reaction. We were both generic dudes (not really the bro stereotype though) and I like to think neither of us had an air of homosexuality about us (even to this day). I'd probably be weirded out by it too.

We had a lengthy discussion about how it's nothing to be ashamed of and of course having anyone touch your bits is gonna send a nice tingle through your body. He said it felt like a little more than just a random touch. So we talked about it some more and he let it slip that he had thought about us doing more than regular bro'ing out. We're not talking, like, pulling off some hardcore gay porn, but he said he had actually had a dream that we made out. I was taken a little aback by that. I told him I was definitely not offended and I would not act any differently toward him for letting me know, but I didn't think I really shared the same views. I made a point of reassuring him we were still going to be friends and do the same things, and I thoroughly apologized for the crotch grab.

We continued talking and eventually both decided to call it a night and went off to our respective bedrooms. Our buzzes had worn off and we were both kind of tired from talking for two hours (no lie). I couldn't get to sleep. I kept thinking about everything we talked about and really thought hard about our friendship. I decided... well, fuck it. I got up and went to his room. I actually had no clue if he normally locked his door when he went to bed but to my luck he hadn't that night. His bed was pushed up into a corner, and he was curled up against the wall. I took a deep breath and took a fateful step: I casually got into the bed behind him and got into a spooning position with my arm pulling him into me.

He woke up startled and I whispered to not worry about anything and we'll sort it out the morning since neither of us had any plans. Nothing else happened that night, but I woke up with him facing me (head to my chest) and our legs entwined. We got up, dressed, and walked down the road to Wafflehouse for breakfast. We didn't really talk much at all which was incredibly atypical for us. When we got back to the apartment we both sat down on the couch and had another couple minutes of silence.

I can't really remember who broke the silence but we set out for a long chat. I told him I wasn't entirely sure what to think or what I wanted or even expected, but I had figured what the hell. Even if it ended up with nothing more than a few experimental nights, at least we would both be able to walk away with a deeper understanding of what some people go through, right? He agreed with that point of view and said it made a lot of sense. We both agreed to at least be open to trying anything and to never force the other to doing something before they're ready.

So then I decided to be first to break out with an awkward question for our experiment: "So, uhh, how big's your dick?"

He laughed pretty fucking hard. Despite the fraternity stereotype, I guess ours bucked the trend -- we definitely degraded our pledges, but nudity was never in the script. After he stopped laughing we kinda locked eyes for a minute and both shrugged in near-unison right before we both started shucking our clothes off. We both kinda chuckled a little bit at the awkwardness of us standing infront of one another naked. I poked at the tension by remarking on how in shape he was and noted how jealous I was of his upper body. He said I was ahead in the game since I had already grabbed his junk. He reached over almost immediately and copped a feel.

It was electric and, welp, a wild boner appeared. Turns out the same happened to him. "Oh, that answers that question," I said. For those interested, we're basically the same size though he's got a little more in the girth department (it's hard to describe, actually -- his is "flatter" while mine is rounder, and we end up being technically the same circumference). His balls though... jesus, what I would do for balls the size of his, they're about twice as big as mine, and mine are already kind of big (or so I thought).

Long story marginally shorter, we didn't do a whole lot that day. We set a ground rule that nudity would be totally fine in the apartment so long as other people weren't around. And that was basically all that happened for the next couple of days too actually, just us being naked and stealing glances at each other.

Later that week we got drunk again and were both naked on the couch. A commercial came on and I turned to face him. I didn't say anything, just kinda stared. He eventually looked around and we stared into each others eyes for what seemed like forever. I smiled and he smiled back. It was like a movie at that point, we slowly moved closer and closer and then a gentle kiss happened. We broke apart for a second, both analyzing the situation through our respective drunken hazes. While keeping our eyes locked, I reached over and put my hand on his chest. He smiled incredibly wide and I took that as my signal. We made out quite awhile after that, occasionally grabbing each other's junk.

It was absolutely amazing. It felt so much better and more intimate than any other time I'd made out with a girl, drunk or otherwise. There was just something a lot more raw and animal about it, you know? Maybe it was because there was no pretense about it and we weren't trying to "impress" (for lack of a better word) one another. By the end of it we were both really tired (it was late and we had been drinking for awhile beforehand). We were both incredibly horned up though. Without thinking about it I started jacking myself off and he followed suit. We were definitely showing off and trying to put on a bit of a show for each other. We ended up cumming at just about the same time, so I would say it was a good night.

edit: had to break in half because of character limit; part two
edit2: apparently I forget words
edit3: quasi-part three - just happened today; might require reading a few posts before it to get the full context

stayaround905 karma

Jesus christ, look at all this shit I've written. I actually managed to hit the character limit. Goddamnit, I am so sorry... this is kind of like a gay fantasy novella at this point. Here are just a few highlights of the next year (feel free to ask for details though):

--We didn't really get involved in doing other things to each other for another couple weeks, though we did make out and jack off together a lot. We did sleep in each others' beds intermittently over that period of time.
--An offhanded comment lead to him giving me a blowjob, without any guarantee of reciprocity, one night after dinner. I returned the favor as a surprise in the middle of the same night (he was sleeping in my bed which made it a prime opportunity). We were both pretty clumsy at our first attempts, nor could we keep at it for very long without our jaws getting tired. So blowjobs then became a common activity, as did sleeping together.
--Another offhanded comment a few weeks later lead to him plowing my butt, though I made him promise to let me do the same to him immediately following. Oh my god, how terrifying that was at first. Through trial and error over the next few attempts, we eventually settled into generic catcher/pitcher positions. I never really acquired much appreciation to getting fucked... it just doesn't do anything for me or my prostate... but he loved it and really got off on it. We switched it up now and then, but it really only benefitted him.
--We were incredibly careful not to spill the beans to anyone else, making up excuses whenever impossible. I like to think nobody ever so much as suspected anything was going on. We were just really close friends; everybody seemed to accept it.

This kept up over that and the next year, and I can say I have never felt that close to anyone before or since. And he felt the same way. I genuinely hold that time as the number one collective experience of my life and I doubt anything will ever supplant it (except for having children... that'd give it a run for its money). Eventually we both started having feelings for some chicks at about the same time (really weird, right?) and we had a really long discussion about it. We decided to keep our thing going until we started getting serious with our respective girls. We reasoned that it wasn't necessarily cheating, which I'm more than willing to accept since my morality forces me to shun people who cheat on their SOs. I feel kind of dirty about it but fuck it.

We rented a cabin up in the mountains one weekend (actually for four days since we both skipped our Monday and Tuesday classes) when we had decided the time had come to stop everything. We told our girlfriends we were visiting an old Fraternity brother out of town. We had a blooooooooooow out weekend with near-constant sex. Sex, make out, sex, food, make out, sex, pretend to watch a movie while we make out, food, sex, sleep, wake the other with a blowjob which lead to buttsex, sleep, repeat. It was amazing.

The car ride back was long and emotionally exhausting. We were both so incredibly emotionally attached and were terrified we couldn't be friends without the physical component at that point. We had to pull over a couple times because one of us would get upset and have a miniature breakdown. It was intense, but we got through it over the ride and the next couple days (we told both our ladyfriends we had caught a bug while out of town, which bought us some more time to collect ourselves). I think, if I were able to change anything, I would have wanted us to talk how about we felt more while we were in the middle of everything instead of waiting until the very end... again, being generic dudes got the better of us and we ignored the deeper aspect of the situation. We were pretty irresponsible about the whole thing in that regard; we didn't realize just how scared and attached we had become until that final car ride.

And to wrap it up, we're both (more or less) "happily" dating girls, though not the same ones that we "quit each other" over. Whenever neither of us has a girl over, we end up sleeping together (no sex and no overtones, just sleep in the same bed and spoon) or cuddling up with one another on the couch. We're still close as hell with one another and talk to each other about everything. Neither of us sees ourselves as gay or even bisexual. It was just a thing that happened and I think we're both better off for it happening.

edit: quasi-part three - just happened today; might require reading a few posts before it to get the full context

stayaround137 karma

Hahaha, the thought's never crossed my mind. Is there even a market for something like this? I've never so much as looked at gay porn let alone read any gay lit.

I think my writing style is shit but I guess kindle short stories wouldn't be out of the question.

stayaround64 karma

Haha, there's still more (not nearly as much though). I hit the character limit on that post... which is pretty embarrassing in and of itself... and apparently there's a number-of-posts-in-a-period-of-time limit, which I hit trying to trim the post down.

Best of luck to the two of you and, again, I strongly advise you to move forward. Totally here for support, brah, so feel free to bounce ideas off me if you want.

edit: just posted PART DEUX.

stayaround63 karma

Haha, well if I can make millions...

If I can do it completely anonymously with a pseudonym (which I think is possible through kindle books and amazon), I might try it out. I'd have to ask my bro's permission before anything happens, and I'm nervous some details might make it really obvious who the story's about.

We'll see. I don't really have the time right now between research and finishing up my master's thesis, but if I ever get something cobbled together I'll hit you up.