First off the proof.: Proof (Just now spotted the missing g in ask me anything. Sorry about that. Didn't pay attention when I typed it quick.)

I was born with a severe facial deformity and the first twenty years of my life were spent having surgery after surgery. I had no bone structure in my nose it was just a flat surface where my nose should have been. Here is a link to a video I created as an introduction of sorts. The basics about me are i'm 30 years old, love pro wrestling and writing. I spent the last eight years being a full time caregiver for my grandmother and mother. I just went to my old elementary school to talk to third and fifth grade and they had some good questions. I am currently writing my autobiography and want to mention things in the book that the reader would be curious about. So, I figured doing an AMA would get some good insight on questions some would have.

I am an open book. Ask me anything.

Introduction

Comments: 103 • Responses: 41  • Date: 

nightshade26 karma

When meeting people for the first time, do you prefer that they acknowledge your deformity or completely ignore it?

coreyt030465 karma

I prefer they acknowledge it and ask about it because then I can explain it to them and usually when that happens they see my personality and see how charming I can be and it becomes a non-issue.

UnimpressionableCage15 karma

What would be an appropriate/polite way to acknowledge it? And would it be different if you were solo with that person or in a group setting?

coreyt030438 karma

I'd start it with hey how's your day going etc. Ask politely "do you mind if I ask you something? If not its fine but I was just wondering what happened to your face?" or something like that. Straight forward but not disrespectful

coreyt030428 karma

The biggest thing to remember is they are no different than you. So think about if you had a trait that people came up and asked you about. How would you wanna be asked about it?

murphball42018 karma

Have you ever gotten laid?

coreyt030462 karma

Yes but I won't lie and say romance isn't an issue. I look different so it is hard to find girls that don't write me off immediately because of my appearance. I've always been a hopeless romantic so in a sense i'm a hopeless romantic without the romance. It's literally the one thing I do wish I could change but will have more luck in time, that i'm sure of.

murphball42035 karma

You're an inspiration my dude keep on keeping on and the pussy train will roll in to your stop eventually i promise.

coreyt030427 karma

lol thanks but no rush. At this point my biggest thing is I want girls to flirt lol thats it if i find a girl that flirts and is attracted to me for me that'd be enough of a win for the time being.

BurtMacklinFBI90090 karma

Bro! How'd you do it. I'm above average and can't even get a girl to look in the same general direction as me.

coreyt030412 karma

It's all about being kind but funny, charming and confident.

BurtMacklinFBI90097 karma

You're awesome btw!

coreyt03049 karma

Thanks :) Pass my AMA along. I think it could be insightful for some.

Insommya13 karma

What do you do for Living?

coreyt030428 karma

I was a full-time caregiver. My grandmother passed away and my mothers health is improving so I have been working on writing for a living and getting a motivational speaking career started as well.

That's my priority right now. I have a thriller i'm pitching to agents and an autobiography that is on the second draft.

coreyt030411 karma

I'll be here on and off all day so bring on the questions.

killercurvesahead8 karma

How often do you tell people your appearance is because of a wrestling incident?

It's really frustrating in that video, as you said yourself, to come out to see some features improve and then backtrack. They did amazing work though!

coreyt030417 karma

haha when I was younger I told kids it was because of a wrestling match.

and yeah it was very frustrating especially after fifteen years of surgeries and looking around like "why don't I see an improvement?" I mean it was necessary but it was a lot to take in. The worst was the backtracking though because finally seeing an improvement and being excited about it and then having it taken away in a sense. Was a lot to take emotionally.

killercurvesahead3 karma

I knew it! Awesome.

And power to you for being a caregiver. I just assisted when my dad was ill in his last year and it's the hardest work in the world, the weirdest combination of being appreciated but not valued. I hope you're taking good care of yourself, and maintaining a healthy life outside of the family.

coreyt03049 karma

Working on it. I let myself go for awhile so now i'm doing at least a mile a day on the treadmill and doing DDP Yoga to get myself into shape.

coreyt03047 karma

Caregiving is truly one of the hardest but most fulfilling things someone can do. I commend everyone who does it but at the same time i'm aware it isn't a job that everyone can do. It is very emotionally draining.

SilverNeurotic7 karma

What was the most difficult surgery? Also, did you find that kids or adults were more accepting of you?

coreyt030434 karma

Surgeries have always been easy for me. Go in get stuck with a needle go to sleep wake up and get a new wrestling figure. The hardest one was when I was about fifteen. They surgically broke my jaw and re set it. My jaw was V shaped and if left alone I would have ended up losing all my teeth because they'd have all clumped together. So I had to have a device on my head that was attached to my jaw basically wiring my jaw shut for 4-6 months.

I had a mini fridge in my room and i looked down and saw a towel hooked on it so I pulled the towel and the door flew open and smacked the brace. Pain vibrated through me like you couldn't imagine. I cried like a baby. That was definitely the worst on me physically.

nestbot5 karma

Just to clarify: you were born without a nasal bone, or no nasal structure whatsoever?

coreyt03044 karma

No structure at all except my nostrils were formed to an extent but nothing major.

https://imgur.com/SkZtlRl

puredemo3 karma

Do you have brothers and sisters?

Anyone else if your family with similar issues?

coreyt03046 karma

I have a younger sister but no she came out completely fine.

NeutralSabrina5 karma

How does this deformity impact your life? (Chewing, seeing, etc.)

coreyt030411 karma

Chewing isn't an issue but seeing is. My right eye I am half-blind and my left eye is so underdeveloped I have a glass eye. I am considered "legally blind."

I couldn't ride a bike because of only seeing out of one eye and it sorta messed with my balance. DOn't get me wrong I don't wobble around or anything tripping over my own feet but stuff like bikes were never possible.

lunabug945 karma

What has been your biggest struggle?

coreyt030428 karma

My biggest struggle has been my own selfesteem. Nothing anybody says can bother me and a big reason for that is because in my teenage years I suffered a bad period of depression and to this day nothing anybody says is worse then the things I said to myself. Getting over that was a struggle but I came out the other side better off and am grateful that I managed to overcome that struggle

I won't BS you confidence is still a problem from time to time.

BluePinky2 karma

Wow, you're strong. People get sucked in and are never able to pull themselves out. What helped you get over it?

coreyt03045 karma

It turned out I wasn't getting testosterone and it was causing me to be very down very selfconscious bery tired and just very down on myself. After years of fighting that I told my mother if I don't get help I won't be alive in a year. I knew it was getting worse. I went to doctor and found out my testosterone level was like 30 when it should be 450 or higher. Once I started getting testosterone shots I felt like a whole new man.

wyattliu1 karma

That is so insightful and I'm so glad you got the help you needed.

coreyt03043 karma

Thanks pass this along. Hoping to get more questions to educate more people.

Huemoungoloid4 karma

How did this impact your school and or college years? Is there anything else you’d like to pursue in life?

coreyt030410 karma

School was a little rough at first. It was a big transition from being around people I knew all the time to being around strangers with nobody I knew around me. Took me a few years to start developing my personality and letting others see it. By the time I was in junior high and high school I was suffering from depression because of a medical issue and felt like nobody wanted to be around me. I didn't see how much of a support system I had. I mean everybody knew who I was and all the kids I went to school with in elementary were all around me and always checking on me.

As far as what I want to pursue in my life I have a tons of things I'd like to mark off my bucket list like traveling. I have tons of books I want to write and have published and I"d like to be on TV eventually. Like on Jimmy Fallon or Ellen.

DeliciousChipetpet3 karma

How has it affected your personality? Did it make you a more angry person or the opposite? Thanks, in advance!

coreyt03049 karma

It could have gone that way but I was always very positive. I don't think a bout the negative moments so I never went the angry route. I have a big family that supports me nonstop and a few passions that kept me busy and thanks to my deformity I've been able to have experiences many would never have.

coreyt03048 karma

It allowed me to see the best of people and the worst of people and more empathy than most.

Platinumsteam3 karma

What is the worst way you've gotten rejected?

coreyt03048 karma

Honestly none really. The worst thing ever said was when someone i cared about and had known for a long time say something about me behind my back and that hurt. I felt like of all people they'd see passed my appearance and the fact they made a comment about it to someone sorta hurt.

Hosernaut3 karma

Do you prefer vanilla cake, or Apple pie?

coreyt03046 karma

I don't have much of a sweet tooth but peanut butter anything. For my birthday my aunt gets me a peanut butter silk pie. It's flipping amazing.

Hosernaut2 karma

Peanut butter anything is awesome. I always get peanut butter ice cream when I get ice cream. My GF hates anything peanut related though, but that just means I don't have to share :D

I bet that pie is amazing. I don't think I've ever tried a peanut butter pie tbh.

coreyt03045 karma

If you like peanut butter you haveeee to find it and try it. It's so amazing. Plus your breath will smell like peanut butter lol so if your girlfriend annoys you just breathe in her face. :D

HierEncore2 karma

do you ever feel resentful that your parents turned you into a caretaker? Have you given any thought about going to college and starting a career? Sky's the limit

coreyt030410 karma

No resentment at all. Nobody made me a caregiver. My grandmother who along with my parents were my rocks through a lot of surgeries. My grandmother had a stroke 8 years ago and I knew right then and there that I was going to take care of her and be there for her because she did it for me. I spent eight years taking care of her and am grateful for that time with her. How many people can say they were able to repay the person who gave them so much?

A few years ago my mother suffered a massive stroke. It was a horrible day. I walked in found my grandmother on the floor she had tried to get help and flipped her wheelchair mom was laying on the floor in the bedroom...Horrible day.

Now that mom's better I am looking to find a career. For me I don't need college I did it for a years but it wasn't for me. Plus I wrote a novel a full complete really good novel and am working on a few other writing projects. My goal is to get them published. I want to write for a living and at the same time want to be a motivational speaker. I'm hoping something happens with it. I just spoke at my old elementary school and it went amazing so now I wanna do it for more schools.

SoSayethTheHbomb2 karma

What's your favourite wrasslin' era? Do you have a favourite wrestler? As a kid, it was magical growing up watching in the early 90s. I don't watch much anymore but still have fond memories.

coreyt03044 karma

I have a special place in my heart for the late 92 to early 1995 era. I loved the over the top vocation based gimmicks but as far as wrestling I am a huge fan of the current era. You may wanna check it out one Monday. You may find that old habits die hard.

TheLittleOdd1sOut2 karma

Have you ever considered cosplaying as voldemort in the first 20 years of your life?

Cheers, mate, for hanging on.

coreyt030410 karma

No, I was always someone that went out of my way to show people I was "normal" and like everybody else. SO doing something like that would have been counterproductive.

adawnb2 karma

Have you seen Wonder? If so, what did you think of it?

coreyt03049 karma

I have seen it and read the book. I thought it was very good written by someone who didn't have a deformity. I think it lacked in some parts and could have been less Disney more powerful but it was good for what it was. I am working on an autobiography that I hope will be published and praised at least as much as Wonder.

Soft_Importance0 karma

Did you ever see Mask? It's a similar movie about a deformed boy based on a true story.I would recommend you watch it.

coreyt03042 karma

Yes saw that when I was young. Didn't feel as relatable because he actually had a rare illness that caused his deformity and would eventually kill him if I remember correctly. Mine was just the physical appearance.

MrTuxedo11 karma

What is your favourite wrestling match ever? Your favourite wrestler ever and then what is your favourite storyline ever?

coreyt03043 karma

Favorite match of all time: Bret Hart vs anyone and Undertaker vs anyone.

Favorite wrestlers Bret Hart, The Undertaker and Matt Hardy

Favorite storyline I love the faction storylines. The Gang warz storyline in the mid to late 90s was great. Nexus, great but because I've been watching for so long and am so passionate about both wrestling and writing I can't help but think I could write any storyline better lol

Oiler1131 karma

What's the worst/best joke or insult threw at you? We're you bullied slot in your early day? Have you ever thought about being an actor?

coreyt03043 karma

No good jokes or insults honestly. People tend to not be as clever as they think.

I had a lot of support if anyone even thought of messing with me my tons of friends and support would have had his head on a platter.

I would love to be an actor and think I definitely have the acting skills.Plus having someone with a deformity as an actor could open up a lot of stories that could be told. I know makeup can do it to but it doesnt have the same authentic feel. But I wouldn't have a clue where to start.

squiggyP2 karma

But people have been blatantly mean? I would love to know more about that. Have groups of people ever targeted you together? Has anyone chronically said mean things to you about your face?
Was there an age you felt you really learned to own yourself?

coreyt03043 karma

Sure people could be blatantly mean but it was very rare. Once on the school bus a kid was making faces and stuff at me. I didn't even flinch. Had no impact on me. A few days later when he decided to pick on my sister for something I went off on the kid and had him against the back door of the bus ready to deck him. After that he never said a word to me. Other than that nobody really made fun of me or anything.

It took me a long time to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with the person looking back at me but part of that was due to a health issue that went untreated and because of it I was suffering a form of depression and didn't even know it. I was about twenty when I was in a place where I felt good about myself. I won't lie and say it isn't an ongoing struggle from time to time but for the most part i'm good.

pintSzeSlasher1 karma

What do you like to do for fun? Favorite TV shows? Favorite book authors?

Where have you traveled before and where do you want to go?

Thanks for doing this AMA; I look forward to reading your autobiography someday!

coreyt03042 karma

For fun I love to write, watch TV and watch pro wrestling.. Writing and Pro wrestling are my passions and when I throw myself into either watching wrestling or writing I lose myself in them.

Favorite TV shows: How I met your mother, scrubs, Undateable, Cougar Town, Seinfeld Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon.

I've been to Florida but its on my bucket list to go back to Disney when I have a girl to have my arms around during the fireworks. I've been to most state from NY to Florida but as far as where I wanna travel I wanna travel around the USA. I even think it'd be a good documentary or reality show. Someone with a deformity going from small town to small town across the US and exploring the different ways people react to it and see if he can change their perspectives just by being himself. It'd give me a reason to travel and i'd be changing the world at the same time.

pintSzeSlasher1 karma

One more question: is this type of deformity common (as far as deformities go)? Have you ever met anyone else with the same type of deformity?

coreyt03043 karma

I've met many people with various deformities but no it's not common. I've met people with similar deformities but not the same.

Withmyrespect1 karma

What kind of book do you like to read? What are your favorites?

coreyt03045 karma

I love anything by Stephen King. Especially his book "on writing" but everything he writes is great. Him and RL Stine are my inspirations. Also if you like Young Adult Thrillers read the WAKE trilogy by Lisa McMann

Soft_Importance1 karma

Do you have Goldenhar syndrome? People with that disease have similar defects.

coreyt03042 karma

No it's something completely different. They just found out I had Kellman Syndrome that could tie into it.

Soft_Importance1 karma

I thought you look like someone with Kallmann syndrome because your face looks young and Goldenhar syndrome because of your underdeveloped face. There's plenty of facial deformity-related diseases so don't worry you won't find a diagnosis

coreyt03044 karma

Honestly no big deal. I use to wonder why was I born this way? Why me? But now as I look back I am grateful and I know why I was born this way. To help inspire others and change the world one person at a time. That's all I need to know.

Erd41 karma

Is this the reason you‘re wearing a mask to perform on stage?

coreyt03042 karma

lol not THAT Corey Taylor

Erd41 karma

Haha jk but well u got a damn cool name twin

Keep it up mate! And all the best for ur future.

coreyt03042 karma

One of my best friends met me when we were in early days of elementary school. Every day in high school i'd walk into the cafeteria and hear "DUDE! BEST NAME EVER!" He was into hard rock so the fact he knew a guy named Corey Taylor blew him away lol.

CrayonRed1 karma

Your nose looks completely normal. Is there an issue with your eyes or sight, or is that just a bad picture?

coreyt03042 karma

That nose literally came from nothing :). My right eye is underdeveloped but not bad but my left eye I have no vision. It's a glass eye.