I am back again Reddit, When I was 3 they discovered that I had tumors on my optic nerve and optic chasm. I did a year of chemotherapy, then it came back when I was 10 and again I did a year of chemotherapy. When I was 25 they found a tumor on my brain stem, I had brain surgery and radiation therapy, when I was 26 I once again did chemotherapy, but I had a bad reaction to the radiation therapy I had a year prior, I passed out and was technically brain dead twice for 8 minutes a piece and paramedics couldn't find a pulse either. I was in the hospital for over 5 weeks. I now have to live with my folks again and I have to use a walker to get around. In 2014 i went to the Cancer Center of America in Illinois, there i recieved 3 weeks of chemotherapy. In 2016, I received treatment again, this time in pill from. In 2017i began treatment for a 7th time because the pill form wasnt working.

One of my latest MRIs is on the left http://i.imgur.com/YCP91dI.jpg

Me getting radiation http://i.imgur.com/R6SClqX.jpg

Relay for Life http://i.imgur.com/8BZfJBo.jpg

Post surgery after getting my port in https://www.instagram.com/p/BP8kcmLA9VE/

Getting chemo https://www.instagram.com/p/BQD63D_gnGn/

Flyers for my fundraiser https://imgur.com/gallery/ZXc8z

Comments: 156 • Responses: 70  • Date: 

imjustashadow19 karma

You sound like your sense of humor, and positivity is staying strong, I'm rootin' and praying for you brother. How are your parents?

RJB133725 karma

Thanks for the kind words fellow redditor, I think they are in the same boat as me, hard to have to go through it again, but they like me rely on God for strength

randomthrowaway888812 karma

When you find the cancer has returned what goes through your head?

3AlarmLampscooter44 karma

Technically speaking, cancer.

RJB133729 karma


RJB133718 karma

Not again basically, I just dreed going through the motions

drummyfish3 karma

You seem very strong :) Is it that cold sweat type of not again, or just some kind of "I guess I'll have to cancel my plans for the weekend" type of not again? Does it make you suffer from depressions or anything? I hope it doesn't, I'm just curious. I wish you get better ASAP :)

RJB13373 karma

I mean, id be lying if I said never felt depressed but most of the time, i am optimistic and stay positive

Mrpoopybutthole5198 karma

Do you ever figure fuck it man im pretty much burned anyway, and take a handful of 30s? Then smoke some weed? Then have a gulp or two of 80 proof?

RJB13374 karma

Haven't gotten to that point yet and i hopefully never will

postecon7 karma

May God give you the strength to overcome this. What do you think of the cancer research and how cancer treatment may be evolving? Are we getting better at fighting cancer? Do you feel hopeful about the future of cancer treatment?

You're an inspiration! Thank you very much!

RJB13375 karma

Thanks for the kind words fellow redditor, I wouldn't say hopeful, but I am hopeful in God

lukalucasluka6 karma

Are you angry? How do you stay positive ?

RJB133725 karma

My faith in God has helped me to remain positive

lukalucasluka11 karma

Good for you, I hope you get well...Stay strong...

RJB133711 karma

Thanks fellow redditor

simplysuperman8 karma

personally I don't believe in god, but I find it great when people do, regardless of all the stupid arguements you can't deny that it has a real effect on the people who have faith and it's great to see that power giving you the will to keep on fighting cancer

RJB13374 karma

Thanks fellow redditor

DARUBE9613 karma

Very inspiring, thank you.

RJB13373 karma

Thanks fellow redditor

Snippins-7 karma

You're in luck then. You can just pray away the cancer.

RJB13374 karma

I can actually, thanks fellow redditor

Snippins-12 karma

So you've prayed all your life and it keeps coming back, pretty convincing evidence that prayer is as useless as it sounds.

RJB13375 karma

I have been able to pay bills, i have beaten it each time, I am still able to remain postive, God doesn't always answer prayers,the,way we,want them, but he always answers them

gooddogtyson6 karma

On a scale of one to one hundred, how lucky do you feel that you are alive?

RJB133724 karma

"A real man makes his own luck"

nick_pl4 karma

my god you're an inspiration dude keep on rockin

RJB13371 karma

Thanks fellow redditor

BlindCynic2 karma

That's a great attitude man, keep up the fight!

RJB13371 karma

Thanks fellow redditor

Mellowtree6 karma

Did you consider the use of cannabis oil before? The uncle of a friend of me recently survived a bad brain tumor by the use of cbd oil, He's now in full recovery. I wish you the best!

RJB13373 karma

I use eddibles almost nightly, i have considered using Rick Simpson oil but haven't gotten any

beanstalkandthejack6 karma

What do healthy people take for granted?

RJB133715 karma

Walking, I have to use a walker, this is fairly recent (3 years) I took walking for granted too before I was handicapped

dumbasses4lyfe6 karma

Are you afraid of death?

RJB133710 karma

Nope, I am a man of faith, i am scared of suddenly dying, id like to be able to get my affairs in order/ say my goodbyes and see yas

dumbasses4lyfe6 karma

I feel the same way. Take it easy man.

RJB13375 karma

You do the same fellow redditor

AsksAStupidQuestion5 karma

Though your condition isn't something you asked for do you believe its enabled you to savor the positives in life more fully when viewed through the lens of life's adversities?

RJB133714 karma

Absolutely, its allowed me to have the philosophy that it can always be worse

Remmyangel5 karma

What is your favorite color?

RJB13378 karma


Mzilikazi815 karma

Would you rather have Jar Jar Binks not exist or replace Jake Lloyd as Anakin Skywalker?

RJB133713 karma

No Jar Jar, it wasn't Jakes fault episode I was awful

YoGoGhost4 karma

Damn bro, how many brains do you have?

RJB13376 karma

Just the one i think

Proud_Boy4 karma

No, it thinks.

RJB13373 karma

Haha true

Evanjellyco4 karma

Are cancer movies accurate?

RJB133714 karma

Most are not 50/50 is really accurate though

resiliencetolive4 karma

Do you believe in God or any other superior being?

RJB133712 karma

God, he is my rock, I have leant on him through it all

resiliencetolive6 karma

If you could give an advice to people, related with your life experience, there's one that you would like to spread? (sorry for my english)

RJB133710 karma

It can always be worse

ClassicPervert4 karma

How comfortable are you with the idea of being on death's door?

RJB133713 karma

Absolutely comfortable, I am a man of faith, i just hope its not sudden, i have some things to attend to and id rather not put that burden on my family

ClassicPervert3 karma

What advice do you have for people about death? And life?

RJB133710 karma

It can always be worse, be thankful for what God has blessed you with

prettyboredd4 karma

How did you know you had brain cancer the first time? What were the symptoms?

RJB13376 karma

My left eye was bulgy/watery, my folks took me in for testing

AnalyticalStarfish4 karma

Can you elaborate on how your eye was bulgy/watery? What other signs might people look for? I have had a friend that passed away from brain cancer on my mind recently, but I don't know how he got it.

RJB13372 karma

I don't really, i was 3, my advice, if you are concered, go get checked out

3AlarmLampscooter4 karma

What type of brain cancer?

RJB133710 karma

NF or Nuerofibromatosis

3AlarmLampscooter3 karma

Type 1 or 2?

RJB13377 karma


3AlarmLampscooter5 karma

Have you had any molecular genetics testing?

There are a lot of open clinical trials for newer drugs like pembrolizumab depending on what mutations the tumor has.

RJB13373 karma

I did when I was at the Cancer Center but I never saw the results

Patthias3 karma

Does the way you think or the way your brain processes things change at all when undergoing treatment and/or with the tumor?

RJB13376 karma

No, its more of a perspective change, you learn quickly who/what is important and what is not, but i haven't experienced any memory loss or learning changes

Mzilikazi813 karma

How often do you get brain scans when you're in remission? Are you participating in any new therapies or drug trials?

RJB13373 karma

Nope, no participating in any sort of drug trail and i go in for MRIs about every 3 months or so

reid84703 karma

Can you describe what sort of physical pain you go through at different stages of treatment? My aunt died from cancer several years ago and was at times in awful pain. She had cancer in her lungs, throat, breasts, everywhere--tumors grew in one of her legs and it had to get amputated, for example. Obviously brain cancer is very different, but I'm still curious.

Seeing her go through that in her 50s was one of the saddest parts of my life, but I could never really understand what she was going through--where the pain was, how it hurt, how long it lasted, etc. She spent most of her last year and a half in bed trying to get sleep whenever she could.

RJB13373 karma

I don't have pain so much as I feel dizzyy/light headed/weak/nauseated

eddied964 karma

have you tried medicinal cannabis to alleviate these symptoms?

RJB13372 karma

I use eddibles almost nightly actually

wheelofcheeseonapole3 karma

after all the battling you have already gone through - how did your perspective on life and living change? Are there things you see differently, which 'normal' people would never be able to understand? all the best for you!

RJB13372 karma

I have learnot to sweat the small stuff, it can always be worse, I am just thankful for what God has blessed me with

IneedmyFixPlease3 karma

Does your brain cancer make you hallucinate ? if yes, what do you see ?

RJB13372 karma

Nope, thankfully not yet

420N1CKN4M33 karma

If you'd have the whole worlds population to hear just one sentence, what would it be?

RJB13373 karma

It can always be worse

Scocam782 karma

I'm a little late to the AMA but I'm also living with brain cancer. Low grade oligodendroglioma and had surgery just over 2 years ago. I haven't had to do chemo or radiation at this point just regular MRIs.

Other than almost dying we're their any side effects you've noticed from the radiation? The term "brain necrosis" freaks me out a little.

RJB13371 karma

Obviously having to use the walker, a bit slurred speech, trouble with fine motor skills

Scocam782 karma

Were those directly a cause of the radiotherapy or the location of the cancer?

RJB13371 karma

Both, the radiation caused the tumor to swell and the tumor is located on my brain stem

nick_pl2 karma

Do you like Rick and Morty?

RJB13371 karma

I have been meaning to get into that show, i love community so i assume that I will be a fan of R&M

asshair2 karma

What's your secret?

RJB13372 karma

No secre,just my faith keeps me going

redditbro1922 karma

is there anything you regret not doing when you were younger?

RJB13372 karma

Nope not really, i have things i regret doing

drummyfish2 karma

Could you share them with us, if they're not too personal?

RJB13371 karma

Share some what?

drummyfish2 karma

the things you regret doing

RJB13372 karma

Drugs, relationship wise

beanstalkandthejack2 karma

Could you remember anything when you passed out?

RJB13372 karma

Nope, nothing, I passed out on a Friday and came to on Wednesday in the ICU

joel10293847562 karma

As someone with seemingly chronic cancer, do you feel people treat you differently because of your cancer?

RJB13371 karma

Sometimes recently its definitely been the addition of the walker

Zinthrow2 karma

Do you feel like your disease has changed your cognition and working memory significantly? I'm sure the ordeal has given you a different outlook on life, but has your personality actually changed as a result of the neurological changes?

RJB13371 karma

It hasn't affected my memory or how i learn, definitely my outlook on life

Zinthrow2 karma

That's wonderful to hear. Wish you the best :)

RJB13371 karma

Thank fellow redditor

colourfulmind2 karma

How can you believe in God if you died and nothing happened?

RJB13371 karma

Qell I wouldn't know the difference if i am wrong, but believing gives me hope

harlemstreets2 karma

does the radiation therapy to your head hurt?????

RJB13371 karma

Not when i am actually getting it, some side effects are headaches

yandereapologist2 karma

I apologize if this is an insensitive question, but what do you find to be the hardest part of having brain cancer? And has it had any adverse effects on your social life?

Thanks, and I hope things look up for you.

RJB13371 karma

Well due to the tumor, I have to use a walker to get around, and for a 29 year old, trying to date, it makes it more difficult to say the least

yandereapologist2 karma

Yeah, that definitely sounds rough. I'm sorry you're going through all this, and I'll keep you in my thoughts.

RJB13371 karma

Thanks fellow redditor

DJPickleTiTs1 karma

Thank you for sharing your story with us. What is your insurance situation like now (hope this is not a rude to ask)? The fundraiser flyer made me tear up in rage when I read the part that you were dropped from your father's insurance due to your age. On a personal level, what are your hobbies? Not including faith, what is Ryan Bendel passionate about, what makes you feel alive?

RJB13371 karma

Not rude at all, I have medicade, its not the greatest, but its better than nothing

DJPickleTiTs2 karma

What about your hobbies bud.

RJB13372 karma

I am currently working on 4 novels, i watch A LOT of movies, i collect Funko pop vinyls

DJPickleTiTs2 karma

As in writing or reading?

RJB13371 karma

Both actually, but i am currently writing 4 novels, well writing 1 brain storming the other 3

DJPickleTiTs2 karma

Sorry to bombard you with questions. What's the genre? When are you planning on releasing it. How do I order my copy with the inscription "to my biggest fan PickleTits"?

RJB13372 karma

My first one is a historical fiction book written by the main characters journal entries

2nd is about a young man who has cancer, and he either has to pick radiation therapy or chemotherapy, it splinters off into two different timelines depending on his choice

The 3rd is a sequel to one of the timelines

4th is a historical fiction again, about a guy who time travels and stops Gavrilo Princip from assinating Franz Ferdinand, it explorez what the world would look like if he never killed franz Ferdinand

Idk when any of them are coming out, but I will definitely let you know

DJPickleTiTs2 karma

Sir you have my interest. Please do let me know.

RJB13372 karma

Will do sugar boo

KamikazeWordsmith1 karma

I think you may have actually touched on this in another response, but just curious: with you having actually been dead enough to be declared brain dead, did you have any sort of near-death experiences or visions that you can remember? If so, would you mind sharing them?

Also, did being brain dead for as long as you were leave you with any lasting damage at all?

RJB13371 karma

Nope, no visions, passed out on a Friday, woke up on a Wednesday, don't remember anything in between

RinkyInky1 karma

Sorry that you have to go through this.

Do you feel that you were/are robbed of your childhood/teenhood? How do you deal with it?

RJB13371 karma

Thanks fellow redditor

No, I don't feel robbed because from 10 until 24 i was perfectly normal, no treatment, no walker, and those are formative years

RinkyInky2 karma

I see, I am happy for you. Hope it goes back to that soon.

All the best in your recovery, and take care.

RJB13371 karma

Thanks dear friend, you do the same please

Mexerican01 karma

Have you tried homeopathic medicines like marijuana??

RJB13371 karma

I smoke/eat on a fairly daily basis actually

LogicofGod1 karma

Firstly, God bless you - I don't know what more to say other than you are an inspiration to us all, especially because like Job, you haven't turned against God and it seems you adopt Job's approach "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (Job 13:15)

Secondly, you mention God many times, I personally believe Jesus is the messiah, do you share this view or have you put your faith in another?

Once again, God Bless, thank you for inspiring us and I hope God grants both you and your family comfort during the tribulations you have gone through and are continuing to go through.

RJB13371 karma

Thanks for the kind words fellow redditor, I do believe in God and Job is one of my inspirations for having a positive attitude

LogicofGod1 karma

If I am not rude could you kindly say what your faith is? (Truly want to know, no judgement just curiosity)

RJB13371 karma

I am a Christian, i have accepted Jesus into my heart

LogicofGod1 karma

Thanks dude, curiosity satisfied.

I was going to wish you all the best and a general God Bless (since I didn't want to offend by specifying) but since you're a Christian I give you this from 2 Corinthians 13:14

"The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the holy Ghost, be with you"

RJB13370 karma

Thank for your kind words fellow redditor

OmegaInsight1 karma

How has the chemo affected your teeth?

RJB13371 karma

Kinda made the analmelm a little weaker but nothing to major

OmegaInsight2 karma

Do you have to brush, floss more often or use some type of special mouthwash regularly?

RJB13371 karma

Nope, I brush daily, that seems to be enough