IAMA 29 year old who is currently going through his 7th round of treatment for Brain Cancer AMA

You sound like your sense of humor, and positivity is staying strong, I'm rootin' and praying for you brother. How are your parents?

Thanks for the kind words fellow redditor, I think they are in the same boat as me, hard to have to go through it again, but they like me rely on God for strength

When you find the cancer has returned what goes through your head?

Technically speaking, cancer.

Touche

Not again basically, I just dreed going through the motions

You seem very strong :) Is it that cold sweat type of not again, or just some kind of "I guess I'll have to cancel my plans for the weekend" type of not again? Does it make you suffer from depressions or anything? I hope it doesn't, I'm just curious. I wish you get better ASAP :)

I mean, id be lying if I said never felt depressed but most of the time, i am optimistic and stay positive

Do you ever figure fuck it man im pretty much burned anyway, and take a handful of 30s? Then smoke some weed? Then have a gulp or two of 80 proof?

Haven't gotten to that point yet and i hopefully never will

May God give you the strength to overcome this. What do you think of the cancer research and how cancer treatment may be evolving? Are we getting better at fighting cancer? Do you feel hopeful about the future of cancer treatment?

You're an inspiration! Thank you very much!

Thanks for the kind words fellow redditor, I wouldn't say hopeful, but I am hopeful in God

Are you angry? How do you stay positive ?

My faith in God has helped me to remain positive

Good for you, I hope you get well...Stay strong...

Thanks fellow redditor

personally I don't believe in god, but I find it great when people do, regardless of all the stupid arguements you can't deny that it has a real effect on the people who have faith and it's great to see that power giving you the will to keep on fighting cancer

Thanks fellow redditor

Very inspiring, thank you.

Thanks fellow redditor

You're in luck then. You can just pray away the cancer.

I can actually, thanks fellow redditor

So you've prayed all your life and it keeps coming back, pretty convincing evidence that prayer is as useless as it sounds.

I have been able to pay bills, i have beaten it each time, I am still able to remain postive, God doesn't always answer prayers,the,way we,want them, but he always answers them

Did you consider the use of cannabis oil before? The uncle of a friend of me recently survived a bad brain tumor by the use of cbd oil, He's now in full recovery. I wish you the best!

I use eddibles almost nightly, i have considered using Rick Simpson oil but haven't gotten any

What do healthy people take for granted?

Walking, I have to use a walker, this is fairly recent (3 years) I took walking for granted too before I was handicapped

Are you afraid of death?

Nope, I am a man of faith, i am scared of suddenly dying, id like to be able to get my affairs in order/ say my goodbyes and see yas

I feel the same way. Take it easy man.

You do the same fellow redditor

On a scale of one to one hundred, how lucky do you feel that you are alive?

"A real man makes his own luck"

my god you're an inspiration dude keep on rockin

Thanks fellow redditor

That's a great attitude man, keep up the fight!

Thanks fellow redditor

Though your condition isn't something you asked for do you believe its enabled you to savor the positives in life more fully when viewed through the lens of life's adversities?

Absolutely, its allowed me to have the philosophy that it can always be worse

What is your favorite color?

Purple

Would you rather have Jar Jar Binks not exist or replace Jake Lloyd as Anakin Skywalker?

No Jar Jar, it wasn't Jakes fault episode I was awful

What type of brain cancer?

NF or Nuerofibromatosis

Type 1 or 2?

NF1

Have you had any molecular genetics testing?

There are a lot of open clinical trials for newer drugs like pembrolizumab depending on what mutations the tumor has.

I did when I was at the Cancer Center but I never saw the results

How comfortable are you with the idea of being on death's door?

Absolutely comfortable, I am a man of faith, i just hope its not sudden, i have some things to attend to and id rather not put that burden on my family

What advice do you have for people about death? And life?

It can always be worse, be thankful for what God has blessed you with

How did you know you had brain cancer the first time? What were the symptoms?

My left eye was bulgy/watery, my folks took me in for testing

Can you elaborate on how your eye was bulgy/watery? What other signs might people look for? I have had a friend that passed away from brain cancer on my mind recently, but I don't know how he got it.

I don't really, i was 3, my advice, if you are concered, go get checked out

Damn bro, how many brains do you have?

Just the one i think

No, it thinks.

Haha true

Do you believe in God or any other superior being?

God, he is my rock, I have leant on him through it all

If you could give an advice to people, related with your life experience, there's one that you would like to spread? (sorry for my english)

It can always be worse

Are cancer movies accurate?

Most are not 50/50 is really accurate though

How often do you get brain scans when you're in remission? Are you participating in any new therapies or drug trials?

Nope, no participating in any sort of drug trail and i go in for MRIs about every 3 months or so

Can you describe what sort of physical pain you go through at different stages of treatment? My aunt died from cancer several years ago and was at times in awful pain. She had cancer in her lungs, throat, breasts, everywhere--tumors grew in one of her legs and it had to get amputated, for example. Obviously brain cancer is very different, but I'm still curious.

Seeing her go through that in her 50s was one of the saddest parts of my life, but I could never really understand what she was going through--where the pain was, how it hurt, how long it lasted, etc. She spent most of her last year and a half in bed trying to get sleep whenever she could.

I don't have pain so much as I feel dizzyy/light headed/weak/nauseated

have you tried medicinal cannabis to alleviate these symptoms?

I use eddibles almost nightly actually

Does the way you think or the way your brain processes things change at all when undergoing treatment and/or with the tumor?

No, its more of a perspective change, you learn quickly who/what is important and what is not, but i haven't experienced any memory loss or learning changes

If you'd have the whole worlds population to hear just one sentence, what would it be?

It can always be worse

after all the battling you have already gone through - how did your perspective on life and living change? Are there things you see differently, which 'normal' people would never be able to understand? all the best for you!

I have learnot to sweat the small stuff, it can always be worse, I am just thankful for what God has blessed me with

Does your brain cancer make you hallucinate ? if yes, what do you see ?

Nope, thankfully not yet

Could you remember anything when you passed out?

Nope, nothing, I passed out on a Friday and came to on Wednesday in the ICU

is there anything you regret not doing when you were younger?

Nope not really, i have things i regret doing

Could you share them with us, if they're not too personal?

Share some what?

the things you regret doing

Drugs, relationship wise

As someone with seemingly chronic cancer, do you feel people treat you differently because of your cancer?

Sometimes recently its definitely been the addition of the walker

Do you feel like your disease has changed your cognition and working memory significantly? I'm sure the ordeal has given you a different outlook on life, but has your personality actually changed as a result of the neurological changes?

It hasn't affected my memory or how i learn, definitely my outlook on life

That's wonderful to hear. Wish you the best :)

Thank fellow redditor

I'm a little late to the AMA but I'm also living with brain cancer. Low grade oligodendroglioma and had surgery just over 2 years ago. I haven't had to do chemo or radiation at this point just regular MRIs.

Other than almost dying we're their any side effects you've noticed from the radiation? The term "brain necrosis" freaks me out a little.

Obviously having to use the walker, a bit slurred speech, trouble with fine motor skills

Were those directly a cause of the radiotherapy or the location of the cancer?

Both, the radiation caused the tumor to swell and the tumor is located on my brain stem

Do you like Rick and Morty?

I have been meaning to get into that show, i love community so i assume that I will be a fan of R&M

What's your secret?

No secre,just my faith keeps me going

How can you believe in God if you died and nothing happened?

Qell I wouldn't know the difference if i am wrong, but believing gives me hope

does the radiation therapy to your head hurt?????

Not when i am actually getting it, some side effects are headaches

I apologize if this is an insensitive question, but what do you find to be the hardest part of having brain cancer? And has it had any adverse effects on your social life?

Thanks, and I hope things look up for you.

Well due to the tumor, I have to use a walker to get around, and for a 29 year old, trying to date, it makes it more difficult to say the least

Yeah, that definitely sounds rough. I'm sorry you're going through all this, and I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Thanks fellow redditor

Firstly, God bless you - I don't know what more to say other than you are an inspiration to us all, especially because like Job, you haven't turned against God and it seems you adopt Job's approach "Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him" (Job 13:15)

Secondly, you mention God many times, I personally believe Jesus is the messiah, do you share this view or have you put your faith in another?

Once again, God Bless, thank you for inspiring us and I hope God grants both you and your family comfort during the tribulations you have gone through and are continuing to go through.

Thanks for the kind words fellow redditor, I do believe in God and Job is one of my inspirations for having a positive attitude

If I am not rude could you kindly say what your faith is? (Truly want to know, no judgement just curiosity)

I am a Christian, i have accepted Jesus into my heart

Thanks dude, curiosity satisfied.

I was going to wish you all the best and a general God Bless (since I didn't want to offend by specifying) but since you're a Christian I give you this from 2 Corinthians 13:14

"The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the holy Ghost, be with you"

Thank for your kind words fellow redditor

I think you may have actually touched on this in another response, but just curious: with you having actually been dead enough to be declared brain dead, did you have any sort of near-death experiences or visions that you can remember? If so, would you mind sharing them?

Also, did being brain dead for as long as you were leave you with any lasting damage at all?

Nope, no visions, passed out on a Friday, woke up on a Wednesday, don't remember anything in between

Thank you for sharing your story with us. What is your insurance situation like now (hope this is not a rude to ask)? The fundraiser flyer made me tear up in rage when I read the part that you were dropped from your father's insurance due to your age. On a personal level, what are your hobbies? Not including faith, what is Ryan Bendel passionate about, what makes you feel alive?

Not rude at all, I have medicade, its not the greatest, but its better than nothing

What about your hobbies bud.

I am currently working on 4 novels, i watch A LOT of movies, i collect Funko pop vinyls

As in writing or reading?

Both actually, but i am currently writing 4 novels, well writing 1 brain storming the other 3

Sorry to bombard you with questions. What's the genre? When are you planning on releasing it. How do I order my copy with the inscription "to my biggest fan PickleTits"?

My first one is a historical fiction book written by the main characters journal entries

2nd is about a young man who has cancer, and he either has to pick radiation therapy or chemotherapy, it splinters off into two different timelines depending on his choice

The 3rd is a sequel to one of the timelines

4th is a historical fiction again, about a guy who time travels and stops Gavrilo Princip from assinating Franz Ferdinand, it explorez what the world would look like if he never killed franz Ferdinand

Idk when any of them are coming out, but I will definitely let you know

Sir you have my interest. Please do let me know.

Will do sugar boo

Sorry that you have to go through this.

Do you feel that you were/are robbed of your childhood/teenhood? How do you deal with it?

Thanks fellow redditor

No, I don't feel robbed because from 10 until 24 i was perfectly normal, no treatment, no walker, and those are formative years

I see, I am happy for you. Hope it goes back to that soon.

All the best in your recovery, and take care.

Thanks dear friend, you do the same please

How has the chemo affected your teeth?

Kinda made the analmelm a little weaker but nothing to major

Do you have to brush, floss more often or use some type of special mouthwash regularly?

Nope, I brush daily, that seems to be enough

Have you tried homeopathic medicines like marijuana??

I smoke/eat on a fairly daily basis actually