IamA Quadriplegic who in the 7 years since breaking my neck has had 20+ surgeries, completed a MSc in Psych & PGCert EdPsych, founded a business, travelled to 4 continents, bought a house, moved in with gf, learned to drive, and am now develop...

I'm sorry if I'm late but i also broke neck a little while ago. I was on vacation in Mexico and had the dumb idea to climb on a roof. I fell straight through and woke up in the hospital with my c5, c6, and c7 broken.

During my recovery that people would come up to me and ask why i had the neck brace and the giant scar and several times i made up stories like "I got stabbed in the neck while fighting off a burglar."

I also spent a lot of time watching netflix and playing hearthstone. I was wondering what you did during your recovery to pass the time?

Glad you healed okay. I watched a hell of a lot of movies, TV series, and Facebooked friends. Rehab was pretty full on though. Physio twice/day, OT a few times a week, meetings with nurses and social workers and vocational consultants. I'm glad that's over.

Someone asked a question about wanting to hook up with someone in a chair, but didn't know how to ask them, and didn't wanting to hurt or offend them, then deleted the question. Here's my answer:

Haha, I'm sure he would have signed a freakin' waver if it meant sexy times! Just tell him you think he's cool and ask if there's somewhere you can be alone. He'll guide you through the rest. I guarantee he's thought it through. Just ask if you need to be careful in anyway and assure him (or her) that things don't bother you, if you think he might be self conscious about anything.

speaking of the bone zone, can your girlfriend enjoy your bone zone?

Already answered

Wise edit

i was too excited to use bone zone i didnt think to check :P

I know the feeling :-)

Do you really?

r/imgoingtohellforthis

Haha touche

Woah:

The young entrepreneur invested the ACC compensation payment he received after his accident into the stock market, he "did alright" and used his earnings to buy a house.

Was that a bit of a risky gamble in hindsight?

How much is "alright"?

I invested about 40k (not all of my money) into 10 different ventures with varied risk, after lots of research, so I was pretty safe but obviously not immune. I made 25-30k over a couple of years.

Nice.

2 years ago I fell playing soccer and broke my c2. I was very lucky though and had no major issues after the bone healed. However I still have ongoing problems like headaches and neck pain that may never go away. There are days where I get very pissed off with it all. Then i find a thread like this and it puts it into perspective.

Very inspiring. Keep it up.

Thanks :-) I'm glad you healed well. 2 years isn't long though, my body was still adjusting until about 5 years, so if you keep up with physio and range of neck movement, hopefully you'll keep improving.

Thanks for that. It sure feels long :)

Overall, I'm probably having more good days than bad ones in the last while so need to stay positive.

Wish you well. It's folks like you that motivate others in similar situations.

I'm glad I can help :-) I wish you well too.

Just made a pledge on KS. Best of luck with the game.

Thanks so much! I really appreciate it :-)

Hey Tim, just wondering - when you gonna chill the fuck out and stop making us all look bad?

Jk man. I wish you a long, beautiful and productive life.

Haha thanks :-)

I don't have the physical level of problems you do but i am really struggling with disabilities. Despite not being as serious as yours, my ability to function is way less. The past 10 months I've hurt my knee and lost the ability to walk. Prior to that I've had a chronic condition for 17 years that impacts my upper body strength and is very painful. As a result I'm struggling with mobility. I am reliant on my husband ro carry my wheelchair down our house stairs so i can leave the house. That only happens on good days when my arms are strong enough to scoot me down while in sitting and when my husband has time to carry the empty wheelchair down and take me out. I can't self propel my wheelchair. I get intense pain when i do go out from overpushing my limits. As a result I rarely leave my home and my spirit and soul cry out desperately for the things of life i intensly miss such as a walk in the autumn leaves, a trip to Starbucks, a visit in a friends home, going on a little trip to a lake or park. The things you mentioned like travelling to 4 continents or going to school etc seem as far removed from my reality as a trip to Mars. I'd give every penny i posess to regain the ability to function in life. I am alive but not living. I guess what i want to know is how to do this. I'm not a quadriplegic and my disabilities are not as high yours, yet you live a life i can only dream of. Please, how do i function more like you? At this point, the ability to physically exit my own front door seems a dream. How do I find a life to live?

Thanks in advance for your consideration of my question. I'd be so grateful for your thoughts.

That's tough. Aside from lobbying your government to provide carer support for those with disabilities, I would suggest trying to focus on the things you can do rather than the things you can't, and finding the courage to do things outside your comfort zone. Travel takes lots of planning to make sure everything is accessible, and it's definitely nerve wracking and uncomfortable (I had to bed wash while I'm away from home), but I was really motivated to find a way to see the world. Here's my travel blog if you're interested http://timsmosey.blogspot.co.nz/

I don't really leave the house often either, but with a computer and the internet, the world is my oyster. I studied online, except for a couple of block courses, and have tried to set up a career from home. Try to think about what you can do, set your life up to be fulfilling within that lifestyle, and try to forget about the rest. Also make long-term goals about where you want to be and take small steps (so to speak) constantly to work towards that dream. It will happen eventually. Good luck and Kia Kaha.

Can I please help develop your game? I live in Canterbury too.

Definitely maybe! PM your details and I'll be in touch if I raise enough monies. Unless you don't need money? Do you have experience with Unity?

I often think that if I broke my neck I'd be done for. I don't have the funds to have multiple surgeries.

So, where did all the $ come from to keep you going?

The awesome single-payer health care system in New Zealand. It's called Accident Compensation Corporation (ACC). And travel insurance helped.

I thought ACC was only while in NZ?

It also applies if you haven't been out of the country for more than 6 months.

Have you heard of the studies involving stem cells to reverse paralysis and would you participate if it were viable? Congrats on continuing to LIVE in a manner better than people without your injuries.

Yeah there seem to be quite a few studies that are progressing well. Maybe in 5-10 years when they've done enough human clinical trials I'll participate. I don't think it will get me walking, but I don't need to improve much to be independent and not need caregivers. But those treatments can lead to more damage, so they are still quite risky. Thanks :-)

What was the first day of being a quadriplegic like?

Good question. It was a bit shit tbh. I did a lot of thinking, but I was also high AF on morphine and so I was sleeping a lot before my first stabilising surgery. The Drs rightly diagnosed my very broken neck and said I wouldn't be able to walk. They didn't tell me I wouldn't be able to use my hands too, which took me a while to figure out. There was definitely some crying.

The day after, my mum had already arrived on a flight from NZ, so it was really good to have her there. Then more crying.

I don't know if you're still answering questions and this is probably a dumb one but how do you drive if you can't use your arms and legs?

Hand controls. Left hand has a glove with a pin in it which slots into the steering wheel to turn. Right has a glove that controls brake/accelerator, push/pull lever respectively. The head rest has buttons for indicator and high beam/low beam, which I control with my head. Auto gears, and auto windscreen wipers.

Cheese! I was really hoping to come up with something more interesting than that but here we are. Any plans to spend some more time on the snow with a ski chair?

Who even is this? Show yourself. Yeah I would like to but it's really expensive to hire the equipment and instructor.

Patches. You are now 1 of 2 people who know my Reddit username. What sort of money are we talking for a day on the snow?

Oh hey! I won't dig dw. $100/hr for the instructor and more for equipment, but the sit ski really needs to be custom built or I can't do it for long. Snowplanet is the best place. One day I'll get a custom sit ski though.

Haha I don't have anything too worrying on here. I'd be happy to throw in a bit of dosh to get you back on the slopes when the time comes! And if I can help at all with this project let me know. I can't code but I have lots of free time if there is anything else useful I can do.

That's what the Bone thought. Cheers maaaate! I would mucho appreciate if you contribute anything at all to my kickstarter, and convince any loved ones to join you :-) Let me know when you're in town.

C5/C6 quad here, I have a degree in CS and have been playing poker profissionally for the last 3 years. Grats for your project mate. I´m interested in how you approached girls after your accident, I´ve been only with hookers after mine (bone zone works fine with stimulation). Never been a true "playa" but I used to be fine and now I´ll fail or not even try. How did you get laid, engaged etc?

Just being as confident as I could to talk to girls (fake it till you make it). Then it's a numbers game. Go on Tinder and online sites, be clean, and treat them with respect. Just keep trying. It took me a couple of years to find the right person, but don't settle for someone that won't make you happy long term. In my experience most girls (probably guys too) have to live through a few bad relationships before they realise what traits are important long term. Work on those traits, then just keep trying. You'll find someone eventually :-)

What does your girlfriend do when she wants some cock?

Wise Edit

As a person with almost zero physical ability, what are your thoughts on automation, and how it will affect society?

I cannot wait, even though I will. The advancement of computers, touch screen smartphones, and the internet has already enabled me to do so much. I cannot wait till Google Home, Amazon Echo or other personal AIs develop a little more so I can be as productive as before my accident. Then a wheelchair/robot that could get me from bed to chair and back would be awesome. Obviously a decent Universal Income needs to be introduced to mitigate the damage automation will cause society.

Can you be more specific about your mobility ? What parts of your body are you able to move?

Biceps, triceps (after tendon transfer surgery), deltoids, half of my shoulder muscles, and up.

Psychologically, what do you credit with enabling you to adjust as well as you have?

Just knowing that a positive outlook on life would mean I would be happier, and more likely to do well and achieve my goals. I think my BSc in Psych helped me to realise that really early - within the first week. Later on, joining a wheelchair rugby team was another boost to learn to be a successful quad (aka tetraplegic).

What are some surprising things about being a quadriplegic most people couldn't think of? Great to hear of all your success, good luck on your project :)

Most people don't know about autonomic dysreflexia which is quite serious. Since spinal care is very specialised, most medical professionals/emergency staff know either nothing or not much about it, which makes it much more dangerous.

i Will donate some money, its not enought to bought the game but at least its something sorry, dollars are expensive here. I read some information about the autonomic dysreflexia and so you have to check every time for something "strange" low the spinal injury?

Thanks a lot :-) That's okay, any amount is muchly appreciated!

Yeah, it's usually because my catheter is blocked, or as a warning to go poos (which can be slightly good so I don't have accidents). Sometimes it can be something more serious but it's really hard to pinpoint the problem. Having lots of kidney stones (because of lack of movement) has caused me quite a bit of trouble.

I'm just curious - do you think your life would be different if you'd been a woman? I constantly see disabled men who have girlfriends/wives, but very few disabled women who find men who will love them.

From my experience, someone's personality is the main reason for whether on not they find someone, rather than their gender. The three ladies I know in chairs all have partners. There are many more males in chairs than women however, which may lead to your confirmation bias.

Do you know why there are more men than women in chairs?

Edit: downvotes, really? Oh dear reddit you make me laugh.

They take more risky actions.

Do you use electrical stimulation to maintain your musculature? What kind of physical therapy to you do to maintain your body?

Yeah I use the Revitive footplate once a day to keep my feet healthy, as they can easily break down and are prone to infection due to my poor circulation. Otherwise I play wheelchair rugby, and use gloves with a theraband tied between them to exercise the muscles I have available in my upper arms and shoulders.

is it difficult to use your computer after your injury? If you are programming you must use it well but do you need special computers or software. It must be difficult to find out about all different options

I use my knuckle to type one letter at a time for small things, and the govt bought me voice recognition software which I use for longer messages/assignments. The govt also has technology specialists to tell you the options. Our healthcare is the shit.

What is your greatest accomplishment that you've succeeded during your life?

Tough question. Probably completing my thesis for my Masters and finding a great female friend. I'm hoping Rocket Island will be up there.

First time asking in AMA's *Have you ever been bullied with this condition? *Have you used your great power to do awesome jokes like "I sit around a lot, but I still get to do many things." ?

No, no bullying. I would verbally own them if they tried. Drunk people are annoyingly nice and supportive to the point where it's embarrassing for everyone.

Wheelchair jokes are easy and they always get a laugh so that's a good way to break the ice. What's small, black, and sits at the top of the stairs? Paraplegic after a house fire.

Where do you think you would be if you hadn't been injured?

I think I would probably be worse off financially and in terms of reaching my goals. ACC provides me 80% of minimum wage for weekly compensation (until I earn more than that), which means I still live like a student, but I can focus on my passions and achieve my goals. It would have been difficult to achieve what I have with a full-time job. And my gf is amazing, so I couldn't have done better there.

She got a sister? haha

Seriously though, good on you man. Keep it up.

No but she's got a brother who's a bit of alright if you're that way inclined. Cheers :-)

As a negative thinking person I have always wondered how some people seem to stay positive and motivated no matter what. Any insight you could share?

Mindset by Carol Dweck has some good insight. I think I have been lucky genetically, and in the environment I was raised, but I think it is a mindset thing and it takes practise. Also understanding positive/negative feedback loops and how positive thinking will impact your life, might increase motivation for you to develop a positive (growth) mindset as you will appreciate the influence it has.

How has fighting through all of the adversity and struggle changed your perspective of the world? What things that have occurred would you change and do you think they would change where you would be at now?

I don't think it really has. Trump being elected president definitely has.

I don't really understand your second question sorry.

Were you in the earthquake a few hours ago? I noticed you never signed off and stopped answering questions. If you get a chance, check back in to let us know you are ok!!

I'm way up north but it was still really strong here! Thanks :-)

Hi thank you so much for doing this! I am studying to become an occupational therapist specializing in spinal cord inpatient rehab. Would you be willing to share any OT experience you had, how you would rate the experience and your therapist, and what do you wish you could've told your therapist or wish they understood that you felt they weren't being sensitive to?

What country are you in? Do they have good spinal rehabs? I had really good OTs that specialised in spinal and a couple of bad ones who didn't. The trick is to encourage and motivate without belittling and undermining. Also treat every person as completely different cases and try not to expect the same out of 2 people, even if they have the same break. Usually the young OTs are good. The annoying ones are usually older grumpy OTs stuck in their ways, just to make a few generalisations :-)

Im sorry I know im extremely late but Which continent did you find to be the most accessible for you?? What was the hardest aspect of learning to drive??

Every country was different. Italy's cobbles are bad but train service was good, South Korea didn't have many accessible taxis. I've heard Japan is better. Eastern Europe isn't great. Germany's pretty good. NZ is great :-)

I had a friend who broke his neck diving into a lake and ended up as a quad. Great guy and he was doing his best to live his life but he had some serious depression issues. He kept a suicide bottle of Xanax and a note that he'd change the date on, periodically. He was 30 when I knew him and had been paralyzed for about 8 years. He said he just didn't know how long he could go on like that for. I lost touch with him and found out, years later, that he eventually did it.

How have you dealt with this?

Also, he actually got laid pretty frequently. He told me that there's girls who fetishize the quadriplegic situation and called them "quad hoppers". Have you encountered this?

Not sure, I just have a different mindset I guess. Haha not really. It creeps me out when girls are overly interested. The gf keeps any advances at bay.

This might be a dumb question, but how does sex work when you're in a chair? Do you have to move to the bed, or something like that? Your story is very inspiring. I wish you all the best.

Family might read this, but we find ways :-)

What's the first video you would suggest to watch on YouTube if others are interested in your path? I think you have a spectacular idea btw! I wish you complete success.

Thankyou :-)

I learned the basics of javascript and coding in general from Khan Academy. I use Unity to programme, and there are heaps of introduction videos on the Unity website which I would try first. Then search for others on YouTube, but there are lots to choose from.

What are your plans for VR?

The natural interaction with hand controllers like on the Vive and the upcoming oculus touch controllers seem like a huge opportunity and a perfect fit for educational games, because even people without computer and controller experience can quickly jump in.

Yeah I think it's a real opportunity to make education as immersive as possible. I've only looked at the feasibility of VR and possible ways to implement, but haven't fleshed out specifics yet.

Wow, very cool! I have wanted to create an educational game related to socially responsible engineering for a while. I have a computer science degree and a bit of experience with Artificial Intelligence, but I have had a hard time finding good resources on educational game design. Would you be able to please suggest some good reading on the topic? Textbooks, articles, anything really that you think would help me design a better educational game. Thanks, love your game concept!

There is a good book called Mathematics Education for a New Era, that explains how to teach mathematical thinking in video games. Otherwise, Lave and Wagner (1991) teach about situated learning and the importance of teaching/testing in situations that are relevant to daily life; van Oers (2012 I think) that talks about including students in choosing what to learn, choosing their own goals and how to test skills etc to avoid them feeling alienated from learning process (which often leads to low motivation and behavioural problems); learn about differences and pros/cons for learning face-to-face or online/video games, as different environments affect social hierarchies between students, participation levels, and engagement. Learning these differences will help design the game so it compliments things students will learn in everyday life, such as social interactions and how to treat others. There might be some other stuff on my website you might find interesting :-) www.educationthesedays.com

How long did it take you to program Rocket Island? Also, after it takes off, do you plan on updating the game in the future? Great Kickstarter video and thanks!

So far it's taken 7 months to develop and longer to design. I'd say it will take a year or so to complete, depending on funding. Yeah I would like to update it to add languages, cell-phone features and gameplay, but again it depends on funds. Cheers :-)

With such a high injury, do you have to deal with Autonomic dysreflexia?

All the time, it sucks. I get it almost everyday going toilet or if my catheter blocks or bladder spasms.

[deleted]

Sorry but I've got nothing to give, hence the crowdfunding. I find people are more willing to give funds to support an idea or product that they feel will allow you to continue to support yourself in the future. Don't give up, it takes a lot of thinking and research, but you'll think of something if you keep trying. Have you tried training as a draftsperson, 3d modeller or designer? You can do anything on a computer these days, but it takes time and effort to learn.

Thanks for doing what you're doing. Games and enjoyable hands-on projects/experiments are the best means of educating. The heads of the U.S. public education system are already aware of this but in an another example of government organization self preservation (and job preservation, in addition to some even less ethical motivations that I won't go into here) they cling to the horrendously outdated, mind-numbing, intelligence-stifling (and sometime insanity-inducing) teaching methods.
My question is: How do you think we can make games a major part of teaching in public schools when there's such strong opposition to it?

We need lots of positive examples of video games, and good press behind them. Keep sharing good projects and spread the word. Public opinion is slowly changing.

Being in Canadian treatment: Were hormonal treatment options, specifically human growth hormone, ever discussed or used during your phenomenal recovery?

I've always been curious how open they are about treatments like this that involve increasing growth factors specific to nerves and brain function (brain-derived neurotrophic factor, BDNF)

Thank you.

Not that I remember. Just some anabolic steroids

How are you holding up the sign? Am I missing something?

Quadriplegic/tetraplegic means impairment in all four limbs. Quad amputees are still quads but aren't paralysed. My hands, pecks, should muscles and triceps are paralysed.

Do you have any sensation in your penis or testicles?

Glad you seem to be doing so well man:)

None at all from 1cm above my nipples. Cheers

you have lived more in your life than I ever will in mine. I have two questions. If you could go back and change your neck being broken, would you? If you could change anything about your past, what would it be?

That sounds like a self-fulfilling prophecy :-) Not sure if I would. Life is great, but I still miss carefree able-bodied life. I guess I just don't think about it. Life's better if you just think about the best way forward.

Can i make the music for your game? I'm also from NZ!

Definitely maybe! PM me. I won't decide that till next year though.

Many schools in developing countries might not have adequate computers for the children to use your video game. How do you plan on tackling that issue? Thanks for doing this AMA to raise awareness for quadriplegics.

As of 2 years ago, there were more mobile devices in the world than people, and unlike trickle down economic theories, mobile devices actually seem to trickle down. Especially considering the low price for many mobile devices now, and the ability to skip heaps of infrastructure to gain the ability to access phone, bank and other costly services. This app will target those in developing countries without access to schools and teachers. Social interaction when learning provides a richer and better quality education, but mobile devices increase access to education. Also, there are many non-profits that are distributing mobile devices to developing countries such as http://one.laptop.org/

how did you meet your girlfriend?

i have a lot of friends in the disability community. althoug nowadays it is super progressive, romantic life with temporarily able-bodied people still seems to be the most challenging thing for people with physical disability. please offer some tips lol

I met her in class, but I dated a lot through Tinder and online dating. It's definitely a numbers game, mixed with being confident with one's self. They just need to keep trying, actively!

This may be an ignorant question, but is there any hope for a stem cell treatment that may improve your condition?

Not quite yet, but hopefully in the future :-)

What do you think about the Real manga? Reading it ATM it is fantastic

Haven't heard of it, but it looks interesting

Do you know my sister? Marie kristine landry? She lives in fernie and has also lived in NZ.

No sorry.