IamA 23 year old man with a hormonal disorder that started puberty in his twenties. AMA

Most of us go through puberty when we are still way to young to fully understand what we are going through. Do you know how your experience was different given that you were (presumably) more mentally mature when you did puberty? Like, were you better aware of the sexual attraction/urges than most of us were or are you just 8 years behind everyone else?

I was very aware of how horny and sweaty I became during and after the testosterone kicked in. It was still quite overwhelming. Testosterone is a game-changer. It took me from a whiny and feeble boy and turned me into a confident, cocky and stubborn man. Before the testosterone therapy, I wanted to be a man so much and after the testosterone kicked in I became more assertive, stoic and determined. I was aware the whole process but it was still a very surreal transformation.

To be honest I was a very stubborn child but testosterone didn't help that.

That's wild and fascinating how such a large change can occur in ones personality and you are completely aware but all you can do is watch as it happens.

Like any drug, you might know what's going on but you still gotta ride it through.

do you notice any muscle growth with the testosterone?

yeah absolutely. I put on quite a bit of muscle. I'm still quite weak compared to other guys my age but I am twice as strong as before therapy.

You got to understand what being a man is about before you had to become one. Is that kinda how it was or am I off point?

I didn't know what being a man was but I still had quite an open mind going into my therapy. I became something I only had an idea of. Being a man is a bit like I thought it would be but there's also a lot of bad and good surprises.

What's the best and worst in your opinion?

I get absolutely horny sometimes and act like an idiot because of it. The good is being able to assert myself and tell someone when they're wrong.

Honestly, the hornyness was kinda ridiculous for me too (and I imagine every boy in puberty). I remember being in class and everything in my mind focused about how hot my female classmates were and how I badly I wanted to have sex with them. I'm glad it doesn't "take over" my thoughts anymore. Or at least not so much.

It's a bit easier but it's never the same as before puberty.

Do you now have a 12 inch penis?

yes, almost, half.

Have your food cravings changed at all since the treatment?

I no longer enjoy sweet things. I drink espresso, drink beer and love everything bitter.

Do you mind if I ask how dating went, if at all, during your teen years?

I never dated anyone. I hardly had friends.

Thanks for doing another AMA! I've just flicked through some of your previous posts and I can't see that you answered/where asked, but when you began your treatment, and while you were going through puberty, did you find that you were having mood swings? Also, testosterone levels are linked with depression, do you think that you feel better - mentally - before or after the treatment? As in your general mental well-being, obviously you must be happier that you've gone through puberty!

I definitely am more mentally stable. My mood swung quite a bit while I was still developing physically with the testosterone. The testosterone was quite a rush and I did get quite moody and overwhelmed sometimes. Now I'm much more confident and dependent.

Good to hear! Glad it all appears to be working out well for you :)

thankya. my body is doing quite well. I have a cold right now but that's from burning the candle at both ends.

Super personal question, but have you lost the ol' virginity since starting the hormone therapy? I'm assuming you hadn't prior, since you say you had no sexual impulse.

Also, congrats on getting treatment. I also read that you got drunk with some friends after finding out you had this condition. What were their reactions? Were they surprised or had they been wondering as well?

Thanks for the AMA.

Yeah I lost my virginity about 6 months into my hormone therapy. It was time. I was physically and mentally mature enough.

Since my therapy I've distanced myself from most people I knew beforehand. I'm quite a different person now and don't associate with the same crowd that I was with before my therapy. I am much more social.

I'm in a relationship though and I only have time for my boyfriend and the people I work with. I don't tell anyone now about my hormone disorder since it's not that relevant to the person I currently am. I'm a much more secure person.

I'm in a relationship though and I only have time for my boyfriend and the people I work with.

When did you figure out you were gay?

When I was 18.

First off, thanks for answering!

Second, congrats on the whole virginity thing. Sounds like you approached it pretty maturely.

Third, distancing yourself from your pre-puberty friends was surprising to me at first but makes total sense - lots of us do that in the middle school/high school transition.

I'm glad you gained some assertiveness and confidence. I'm so happy that you've been able to get what you needed from the treatment.

Thanks again.

Thanks for your kind words. I just feel like a different person from the boy I used to be and the people that I was with had different goals to what I have now. I see them sometimes but we don't have anything to talk about. I mostly just work, see my boyfriend and drink with my work mates.

Do you feel like your condition impacted your sexuality in any way?

I don't feel like it did. I feel like the testosterone only exaggerated it.

I don't tell anyone now about my hormone disorder since it's not that relevant to the person I currently am. I'm a much more secure person.

That's... a bit contradictory.

I don't tell people about my disorder because it's private and doesn't concern anyone. It's a medical condition that doesn't affect anyone but myself.

have you cleaned your room?

yeah I did today.

thats good, because it was a mess in your original post

I share a room with my boyfriend now so I got to stay on top of these things.

I got to stay on top of these things.

.. the boyfriend or the messes ;)

haha good luck to you man!

hahah I liked that one.

Is this something you'll have to take for the rest of your life or will your body "learn" to produce enough Testosterone on its own now?

I will never produce testosterone so I will have to take it for the rest of my life.

What would happen if you stopped taking testosterone?

I would become weak, moody and probably stop growing facial hair and be able to ejaculate.

edit: be unable to ejaculate*

I'm 20 now and a late bloomer, I didn't have armpit hair until I was 18, I only shave twice a month but couldn't grow anything that would resemble a beard, and I have no signs of chest or back hair.

Do you think this warrants enough to get a prescription for testosterone injections from my doctor? I don't really care about any of those things but if it makes my penis grow 3 inches...

If you hadn't been through puberty you would have more to say than that. Lacking testosterone is more like living in a child's body with a soul-crushing feeling of insecurity and isn't the same as not being able to grow a beard.

Did your situation have an affect on your penis like someone would assume?

Yeah, my penis grew from 3 inches to 6 inches over the course of the therapy.

Testosterone use just went up by 6000%

more like 200%

How much facial hair do you have by now?

I can almost grow a full beard except for tiny patches in the middle of my cheeks. I don't grow a beard though because I believe I look better clean shaven. If anyone has any tips on how to get rid of shaving rash and ingrown hairs that would be greatly appreciated!

Hot shower just before shaving, go with the grain, and afterrshave lotion. A good razor is vital, dont reuse them too often.

I use and do all of that. I think it's the acne medication I take. It causes ingrown nails so I think it might cause ingrown hairs.

If you really struggle get an electric. It won't get you as nicely smooth and you may have to shave daily however the hairs are left ever so slightly above the skin or at the skin. When you shave with a 3 or 4 bladed manual shaver you actually cut the hair that many times and it recedes below the skin. It then can grow back out badly. It's sharp as its freshly cut and below so it could grow the wrong way and irritate.

A single blade or a straight razor are also alternatives to a multiple blade. Less passes, less receding, less irritation growing back out.

That, and exfoliation for new hair foliciles. Those will still have to brave the trip to the surface. Ask a dermatologist if you would benefit from a chemical applied topically to help prevent in grown hairs.

Thanks man! I got a dermo for acne and I'll ask him next time I see him. I already had acne and got rid of that and now the ingrown hairs are a bit worrisome. I'll start exfoliating too!

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I have a safety razor and use feather blades and still get ingrowns :S

Use a good trimmer instead of shaving. My husband always had this issue when shaving, but it disappear when he started using a trimmer.

What's the price range of a good trimmer? I've been considering but I don't want to blow a few hundred dollars on something that makes it worse.

Do you have photos from before and now?

Yeah but I'm not going to share them. It makes it much easier to answer questions.

Actually, you might be able to give some insight to a trans-boy. My guess is that they would experience similar effects when a biological female starts taking male hormones. What did it feel like to start taking hormones?

Edit: Major typo fixed!

I was gradually exposed to testosterone over the course of a year until I was at adult testosterone levels. I had a rushed puberty that was a bit faster than a normal adolescence. The first few months nothing really happened. Then I became hungry, sweaty and a bit horny after a few months. About six months in my hair started to thicken and my voice broke. From then on I just got hungrier, sweatier and hornier while my voice deepened and my body thickened. It was intense watching my body change so quickly. It was great having people treat me like I was a man after my voice broke. About a year ago (22) the physical changes all slowed down and now I a feel as though I'm just a normal 23 year old man.

How tall are you?

I'm about 190cm now.

Did you became taller after the treatment?

I had a great growth spurt after I started taking testosterone. I've grown from like 181cm to 190cm since I started taking T.

Shit, you were already almost six feet BEFORE puberty?

Fuck me, I'm only 5'6.

Growth plates close when you hit puberty so I should have been quite short but I ended up 6'3.

How else were you affected by your growth plates not closing for so long?

My limbs are way out of proportion. My torso is tiny but my legs and arms make me look a lot taller. I have trouble finding pants that fit me.

What is your life expectancy relative to other men? Higher or lower?

Without the therapy my health would have slowly declined. The male body needs testosterone to function. With the therapy I'll live to whatever age my body allows with all the pizza and beer considered.

How much weight have you gained since beginning testosterone? Since you have physically changed so much in a short amount of time, do you ever 'forget' what you look like? Have you encountered any people who haven't seen you for a few years and don't recognize you?

I've put on 20 kilos. I look at photos of the way I used to be an I'm astonished at how young I looked. Sometimes I meet people and they don't know who I am even though we were in highschool together for years. It's kind of comfortable though. I am a new person and I can leave behind the boy I was an focus on the man I am today.

What coping mechanisms did you develop to deal with age-restricted situations and people not believing your true age? For example, buying alcohol.

I just reminded myself that I would someday hit puberty. Until the anxiety got too much and I googled my symptoms and went to the doctor and got a blood test. I have to remind myself of how far I've come since the days before the testosterone and now matter how bad I feel I will never have to live in a child's body at 20 years old ever again.

Your parents didn't think your lack of traditional male development was strange enough to warrant a doctor visit?

I love my mum and dad but they are oblivious to everything.

Did you taste in music change after the testosterone?

It did but I don't think it's because of the testosterone.

Did you have any sexual interest before the hormone treatment? if so, how did it change after? I noticed you're gay/bi, how did the hormones change your sex life? (feel free to answer as in-depth as you want :P )

I've become much more hornier but I was never really interested in sex before the therapy, just companionship.

First off, thanks for doing this AMA! I was wondering if you could explain any mental shifts that occurred as a result of undergoing puberty at such a late age. I know you mentioned getting more confident/cocky/etc, but could you got into a bit more depth regarding what that felt like? I'm curious about what role puberty plays in how we think and react to situations and if it is more of a physiological change than mental one.

Thanks for taking the time to answer all of these questions even if you don't get to mine!

Well it's a bit complicated summing up entirely my how I've changed mentally but I'll try to answer this questions with an example. I'm not that articulate.

I'm more in control that before. When you're a child, every emotion is intense and overwhelming. It's hard to control yourself. Immaturity is a lack of control. When I was happy I was ecstatic and when I was angry I was horrible. I would shout and scream either way.

While testosterone centered me. The chemical has a sedative effect. I feel the same emotions but they're more subdued and drawn out. Rather than a short and fast feeling.

But I've also changed slightly. Before when I was confronted with someone rude and hostile I would retreat, apologise and even cry but I am quite aware that I've become more assertive. I'm still affected by confrontation but I'm more in control and retaliate. I speak loudly and confidently in myself. I have the backbone to tell people what I think and feel.

When I was in High School I was a lot smaller before I started lifting and I used to be bullied and picked on for it.

Were you bulled in school your condition? And if so, when you started filling out from the treatment did it feel good to show up those people?

I was well out of high school by the time I started physically developing because of the testosterone but I was bullied in high school and I'm much better at dealing with dickheads now in day to day situations. I used to be quite meek and quiet but I am quite capable of telling someone that they're doing something inappropriate now.

I remember your previous AMA, glad things are going well for you. You posted body pics in the last one, any new ones?

I look pretty much the same. I little taller and skinnier but that's more from work than the testosterone.

I'm a transman and often like to tell people I'm just a normal guy with a hormone disorder (not in a serious way, but sometimes it gets people to stop asking questions). So I just have to ask, and pardon me if this seems rude, but were you born a cis male?

yeah I'm a cis male. I can be a little effeminate but most times most people can't tell that I'm homosexual.

Do you look a lot younger than you are now that you've hi puberty? If so do you think you will always look like 5-10 years younger than you are?

Yeah I look a bit younger. Having consistent testerone apparently makes you appear more younger and healthier. I have no research to back that up but testosterone does decline the older a man gets. However I'll be taking the same amount for the rest of my life. So I'm hoping I stay young and beautiful forever!

All I can think of while reading this AMA,^{I'msosorry...}

I need a question.... ummmmm..... how do you feel about your new adult sweating and body odor?

I wear deodorant and have no problems.

Random question, but when you say 6 inches, is that flaccid or hard?

erect.

What changes have occurred in your body since your last AMA? How do you feel about the results?

Have you noticed a change in the way people treat you now, versus before you began hormone therapy?

People treat me way better. I get respect from everyone I meet. Before the therapy no one took me seriously. How could anyone take a massive 11 year old man-child seriously? It was transitional period that made me feel like I was just pretending to be an adult until one day I felt comfortable and from then on I was an adult. I still look quite young but that's just my because of my skin and other genetics. However no one knows about disorder except for the people I tell. I'm very happy about this.

What's your protocol for TRT?

I have Secondary Hypogonadism, so although not nearly as extreme as you, I have a small idea what it's like. I'm on week 38 of TRT now. How long did it take you to see substantial effects and what were they (physical, emotional, cognitive, etc.)?

I take testosterone undecanoate 1000mg every three months. I started on on testosterone capsules and then gel and now the injections. The first substantial results came about 6 months into the treatment.

How rare do you have your steak now?

medium rare

did you avoid gym locker rooms, or did you go in a corner?

Can you go through puberty physically, but not fully mentally? Like you have the body of a 20 year old, but not really the mind?

testosterone affects both the mind and the body so I don't think that's possible.