IamA a semi truck driver in the USA, AMA!

Do you blow the air horn when someone does an arm pump out the window? Truckers used to do that for us back in the 70s and 80s when I was a kid, but we never had one to it for our kids a few years ago when we tries. Outside of city limits of course.

Heck yeah we do! I love it when every kid on a bus puts their arm out and pumps it then cheers when I do! As long as we aren't going to endanger anybody we happily do it

I'm 26 years old and I get yelled at by friends/family when I try to get trucks to blow their air horn, and I think that's wrong.

What do you think?

It is wrong, we don't mind, keep on

I'm no CDL driver, but I've driven 100,000lb semi trucks plenty - in Washington, you don't need a CDL if you work for a farmer and are hauling agricultural commodities. When your entire day involves driving back and forth between two places, someone pumping their arms for a honk made my day probably more than it did theirs.

Within a hundred miles for agriculture, you're right

Why do so many trucks drive beside one another in morning traffic?? If you're gonna pass someone I understand but in slow traffic it just seems to hold everyone else up, so what's up with that??

Well that depends on the circumstances. If there is a wreck up ahead and a lane is blocked they do that to force people to merge. It keeps us safe, other drives safe and the emergency workers safe. It also keeps traffic moving. Other than that it could be a truck governed at 63 passing a truck governed at 62... it sucks but it happens. Trust me when I say it even annoys the hell out of other drivers

What annoys the Hell out of me are actually the normal cars that seem to use the semi next to them as a speedometer. Yeah, it's irritating when a semi is paying another, but I know you guys are pros and one is actually going to finish passing at some point. Normal people, not so much.

That's very true, and it annoys the hell out of us too. Scares us too. 4-wheelers (every other driver) have a tendency to cut us off, fly by and do stupid shit. If you are keeping pace with us we assume you are going to do something stupid or someone else will because of it. And yes, we know when you're tailgating us most of the time and we will try to get you to stop because if we have to hit the breaks you will die

Drivers in the US just seem to be kind of oblivious to me. I was behind one doing 55 in a 70, not passing a semi for about 20 minutes once, and I even resorted to flashing my lights and horn (my car is bright yellow). I don't like to do this, but once I got by them the driver actually looked surprised there was a two mile backup behind him. People crack up music and never look in their mirrors unless they are changing lanes, and it's maddening.

That's actually not really true, we know it's just that there isn't always something we can do about it... If we pulled over to let people pass every time we got into that situation we would never get anywhere. We try to slow down in passing areas or move to the right so you can pass but sometimes there just isn't a solution.

I just reread what you said and realized you meant two trucks side by side... Sometimes people are just weird and shit happens, or the guy on the right is being an add and not letting the other guy pass/merge

Oh, I was just talking about a regular car not passing a truck.

Probably just an idiot

What's your 60-0 stopping distance? I guarantee it's significantly longer than just about every car on the road...

Loaded or unloaded? What are the conditions on the road? It depends, but probably three football fields or more

I never understand the logic of people who tailgate large vehicles. If you're riding the ass of a semi, mixer, or car hauler, what the fuck do you expect will happen if they slam on their brakes? Their velocity is so many more times greater than a four-wheeled vehicle that they would pulverized. I hate tailgaters in general, but when it's on a large vehicle, it's just fucking stupid.

Yep, but if people always did the smart thing...

Then deal with going 1 mph slower than you could, instead of being a dick.

Hey, if y'all stop being dicks we'll stop being dicks... It's a self defeating and never ending cycle brother

What's the craziest sexual episode you've had?

My girlfriend, eventual co-driver once got naked and started masturbating in the passenger seat then handed me the control to the vibrating egg and told me if I pulled over she would stop. This was in broad daylight and so any time another truck would go by she would put on a show for them too. After a while she finally started to give me head, but the shifter didn't make that easy so we pulled into the first lot we could find and went at it... wasnt until we woke up in the morning that we noticed it was a DOT weigh station... they applauded us as we went to the restroom. Got a clean inspection though!

What things do truckers do that most regular drivers don't understand? (like Turing off all the running lights and turning them back on)

Also, I work as a research assistant at a transportation Institute at a university. What innovations would you like to see in the trucking world?

Thoughts on automated cars? And maybe automated semis in the future?

Flashing the running lights is usually how we say thank you to each other, we flash our headlights as well to say you're welcome (STOP FLASHING YOUR BRIGHTS AT US!) We will drive next to each other when we see something going on down the road so you will merge in behind us to keep everyone safe. If we have our flashers on SOMETHING IS GOING DOWN! Anything I missed?

What innovations? How about internet in the trucks? Or that screen that helps people see if they are safe to pass us. Lights that come on to help us when we are back into dark places. Auto raising and lowering trailers for hookups. Better technology integration for a heads up display on the windsheild for things like speed, routing and weather. Some kind of tech that helps eliminate blind spots like screens. For gods sake I want all of the paperwork (ie the load info and such) To be digital so that when I walk in I just have to give them a company name and trailer number and they have it all infront of them, can mark it as recieved and so on. I can update it all through my elog interface. I don't ever want to mess with physical paperwork again! Make an app so that I can track it all, make notes, send messages and so forth from my phone as well as the elog interface. Also, WE NEED A MODERN SYSTEM for our elogs. Most of them run on windows NT...

As for automated cars and trucks I'm completely cool with that, I think it will help further mans ability to pursue their dreams without a need for menial jobs. I also think it will save millions of lives. Even if someone HAS to sit behind the wheel anyway just in case it would be a major improvement.

Thanks for your reply! I'll drop those suggestions for tech improvements into the wishlist at work! My specialty is lighting and infrastructure, so I sympathize especially with your lighting and connectivity issues! Unfortunately, most trucking companies are slow to upgrade their infrastructure. As satellite Internet becomes more affordable and faster, I forsee it on trucks everywhere.

Thanks again! May the dickheads that cut you off always get pulled over

Well anything that comes is welcome so thank you!

I have a lot of respect for truck drivers, it actually seems like it's a stressful job maneuvering that big rig. My question is, how stressful is it? And also, how many hookers have you picked up during your career?

Thanks

Rofl, it can be very stressful. Have you ever driven in the ice during the night on a mountain in bad traffic? Its like that... but all the time. Well, that might be a bit of an exaggeration. We have to deal with people who don't know how to drive for everyone on the road or who only care about themselves so its a pain, but then there are times when I'm driving through the countryside looking out onto the mountains and everything in the world seems right. Also, never. If a lot lizard is ever good looking enough to actually sleep with then repeat after me "No thanks officer"

What's your best Gary, IN story?

Oh man, fuck that place... Try to go to a truck stop and end up on a no truck road right in front of them, have someone try and mug you while turning around then have to get a tow because the pot holes in the damn truck stop are so deep you could go swimming...

Ah the TA lol I've pulled people out of there

Yes! I hate that place... Slept at the fricken bass pro instead

Dose your stuff get stolen by people in blacked out cars alot? and do you get many of them with your shotgun?

I'm assuming there is a reference I'm missing but there is some truth to this. In places like Detroit, New York and Indiana etc they will try to jack you if you come to a full stop or don't park in a way that your trailer doors are blocked. Its also illegal to carry a gun (in a lot of places) so I've never shot anyone. Honestly most of us carry though because we're not stupid, I've also had to come out with a machete and a bat a couple of times though

Pretty sure it's a Fast and the Furious reference.

Ah that would make sense... If that cramp was happening I would carry a sawed off

He's probably just referring to generic action movie cliches. The truck is carrying government secrets/Gold bars/Dangerous Political Prisoner/Doomsday device, and the heroes/thieves/terrorists are attempting to rob/hijack the truck in a high speed chase down a desert highway/narrow canyon road.

Sadly (or maybe not so much) my time has never been that exciting

Have you ever seen the King of the Hill episode where Hank rents a truck and van trailer to haul a few small items a short distance just because he wanted to drive a big truck? If not, you should totally watch it.

Livin' on Reds, Vitamin C and Propane

I have actually lol, I thought it was hilarious

Okay follow up question, do you think you'd have the skills required to back the truck down the snowy hill without power and then pop the clutch to start the dead truck on the first try like Hank did?

Could I? Probably. Would I ever attempt it? HELL NO lol

When I'm on the highway and I see a truck, I always think "Man, that's an awesome gig. Seeing the country, eating at all these great places, life on the road...."

Then when I see a truck trying to back into a garage at a 90-degree angle that's 4 inches wider than the trailer, all while traffic is honking violently at them in a snowstorm, I remember why I didn't do it.

Do you spend 99% of your drive dreading the last 1%? Or are you awesome enough at maneuvering the thing that it's not nearly as much of a challenge as I think it is?

Rofl yeah, that's the job alright. And most the guys out there don't understand how to live on the road so they just live in the truck! If you get ahead of the load, (run hard at first so you have plenty of time) and do things right you can go see things, eat at places and do things! Most malls don't mind if you park at the outskirts of their lots, a lot of stores don't mind if they have a big lot or you park around their loading bays etc As for the backing it's when you get cocky and confident that you fuck up so a healthy amount of fear is a good thing. I still get out and walk around to check, and I still go slow. If people get annoyed fuck em, I'm going to be safe

How many lot lizards do you know?

None actually. Been on the road for about 3 years and seen about 10 of them. Maybe more, but if the stop looked sketchy I didn't stay there so I never saw any really

Thanks for doing this. I was wondering how much did it cost and how long did it take to obtain your CDL? Is the professional driver industry like aviation where the more hours you have logged the better company or job you can get? Also, what is the best way to get training?

Thanks.

It is similar in a lot of ways. I only paid for the test and the practical test with the DPS, the training, lodging and such were all paid for by the company I hired on with. Signed a year contract with them in exchange for no cost. I went with one called FFE (Frozen Freight Express) for training. They are great for getting your CDL and that first year of exp but you should run after thats done. Also, all companies have different requirements in exp, but your best bet for most companies is one year exp OTR or over the road

Forgot to mention, the course I went through took 2 1/2 weeks to get the license, 6 weeks of on the job trainer after. The best way is to go to an truck driving school with a company so none of it is out of pocket and you have a guaranteed job when you're done

Would you recommend the job to another? It honestly sounds great driving around a lot. Is it worth the stress of driving a huge truck?

That depends on the person, because it's a job that you either love or despise. There is no in between. There is good and bad just like with any job. I love the job but the management sucks most of the time. You see a lot of wonderful things, but if you don't learn how to do things you'll never see anything but the inside of your truck. PM me if you want to talk about though

My dad used to drive semi, I'm curious how hard it is to"cook" log books these days? Especially with electronic logs becoming more common. Also what's the most ridiculous story you've ever heard about a fellow driver?

Well if you are using Elogs its basically impossible, which is why they are being mandated these days. Honestly I'm ok with that since they keep me legal and well rested. As for the stories there is a lot of what I like to call "Channel 19 chatter" referring to channel 19 on the CB which most truckers use. It means most of everything truckers say is bullshit. Which is why I prefer to be called a Professional Driver, and only use 'trucker' as a bad name. Anyway, one guy went on a run from the cops hauling hanging meat and after nearly 100 miles he flipped the truck on an off ramp. The guy said he was wearing earphones didn't notice them following him... safe to say he is in jail

I try to be considerate on the road especially to larger vehicles that have a harder time changing speed or direction. What are some of the ways in which normal drivers can be courteous, that we may not be aware of?

The more distance before you get in front of us the better, if you can't see my mirrors I can't see you and even though you can assume I can't. Don't flash your brights, just turn the lights off them on a couple times, and don't cut infront of us during accident or construction merges

Have you ever blasted, "Back dat ass up," when maneuvering your rig into a loading dock?

You bet your ass, also done the Imperial March from Star Wars while pulling in with my white and black Volvo... Or highway to hell when pulling into corporate hq

You ever pick up hitch hikers just in the hopes of getting a handy j?

Lmao, no. I don't want it from anyone who would offer it. Anyone who would I would just say "No thanks officer"

Unless she shows you her tits first, right? LOL But in all seriousness people just vastly underestimate exactly what you guys do. You're the very backbone of commerce in this nation.

Lol girl better have the best tits in the state. Thank you for that though, you would be amazed at the simple level in inhumanity people treat us with. We don't rate as human and after a while that wears you down so much you stop trying to be. But as you say, if we stopped for 3 days every store in the nation would be empty

How often do you go home? worst state drive through?

Well with the first job I got home about ever 4-6 weeks, the last job about every 2 weeks. I'm looking for something to get me home every night though. Worst state depends on worst how... Nebrasa is empty, ugly and has no cell service, Massachusetts has crappy roads and they are designed like a drunk idiot made them. Rhode Island has tiny roads that SUCK. In Georgia not just the cops but the drivers are out to kill you or run you off the road, Oklahoma, Kansas and Illinois are covered in tolls... all just depends

From MA can confirm

Great chowdah, crappy place to drive lol. One of my favorite stories comes from a Boston fish market. It was winter so over my long johns I was wearing black slacks, a black wool peacoat, a black wool fedora and black sunglasses. I went in to drop off the paperwork and get unloaded and EVERYONE inside stopped and was staring at me... Turns out they thought I was with the mob!

Where are the best places to drive through?

Tennessee probably has the best roads and is really trucker friendly, Texas is really friendly as well. Anywhere mid to northwest is gorgeous. Utah, Wyoming, Alabama, Idaho... All gorgeous. Also, California is pretty but hates truckers with a passion

I've done some hitch hiking throughout the US and never had any luck with truckers so why don't you guys pick up hitch hikers ever?

There are a lot of reasons. Mostly we don't want to die. It used to be that truckers were the "White Knights of the Road" but after so many of them got robbed and or killed we stopped. People treat us like shit so much its rare we'll even stop and help someone broken down anymore. Can't treat us like humans and we will return the favor

Err that aannndd we have company rules... If we get pulled into a weigh station and have a passenger on our truck without a permit... We can lose our jobs on the spot -_-

There is that, and goddess only knows if they are legal or have something illegal on them

What is the best bottle to piss in?

Wouldn't have any idea, I'm a professional driver, not a Trucker

My girlfriend, eventual co-driver once got naked and started masturbating in the passenger seat then handed me the control to the vibrating egg and told me if I pulled over she would stop. This was in broad daylight and so any time another truck would go by she would put on a show for them too. After a while she finally started to give me head, but the shifter didn't make that easy so we pulled into the first lot we could find and went at it... wasnt until we woke up in the morning that we noticed it was a DOT weigh station... they applauded us as we went to the restroom. Got a clean inspection though!

You're either a skanky trucker or a liar.

I prefer the term Professional Sexual Deviant

Ever driven a road train (2+ trailers)?

Once, it's difficult. Move an inch? That second trailer moves a foot. It's not something I want to do again

Whats the most hours youve done on the clock in a week? I did 120 in a loader plowing last winter and it was pretty tough

That's a tough question to answer. You are allowed to drive 11 hours in a 14 hour period, that being said there are a thousand reasons why you might go over that such as bad weather, not able to find a place to park or because you are still working even once the clock has run out. You could also be driving illegally. So legally? Probably 160 hours in one week, illegally would probably be closer to 180

How can you drive 180 hours in a week that has only 168?

Because a week for me is 8 days because of how DOT logs work

that's absurd...

Yeah, it was a screwed up couple weeks... It was after Sandy and had a lot to do with relief efforts...

Damn. Thats a long shift. Stay safe brother

Well my trainer always told me driving sleepy is worse than driving drunk and I can definitely say thats true. I try to never be unsafe, so I will brother

I should also say that is why I love the electronic logs. They keep it from happening most of the time so I keep a much better schedule and companies can't force me to run outside of my clock so I am usually rested

I've been told that if you're letting a truck in you should flash your brights to let them know they're in the clear. But then you said not to flash your brights, anything I should do instead?

Turn the lights off then on a couple times. Never, ever flash your brights. It blinds us and that's. Not good considering we're an 80,000 pound blind ballistic missile

When I'm driving down the interstate and see a semi pulled over, is it normally for speeding or is it probably being searched or something? (I live North of Houston)

No telling. Could be speeding, though that is hard in semis since most are governed. Could be searched for drugs, illegal immigrants etc. never had any issues down there but there are a lot of drivers down there

What's the longest you've had to wait at the shipper/receiver? I track/trace freight for a logistics company and have had guys stuck at a facility for about 12 hours.

What's the longest transit you've had for one load?

3 days. That also had a lot to do with my shitty dispatcher of the time though. If it takes more than 4 hours I usually go see a movie or to the mall or something though

What do truck drivers talk about on CB radios? Do you guys talk shit about other drivers? Any nicknames you guys give each other? And also what can us, regular car drivers, do on the road that will help you guys out?

Not many use the CB anymore. About the only time it ever seems active is around towns or areas where there are a lot of truck services, around a wreck/construction or late a night (though that one is iffy.) Yes we do! Every company has its problems so we rag on them all, but ones like SWIFT, Werner, Stevens and CRST are CDL factories so they put out a ton of drivers without having much experience so they tend to catch a lot of flack for accidents and stupid behavior. Most of it to each other though it nothing more than friendly ribbing. Yeah, some guys get and give nicknames but I haven't seen it too often. The best thing y'all can do is remember that our trucks are governed, when we go up we slow down and when we do something like turn on flashers or drive side by side there is usually a reason. Slow down, give us space and stop cutting us off. Also remember that if you can't see our mirrors we can't see you! We have a ton of blind spots and can't react quickly without possibly causing a roll over or jackknife. Also, quit flashing your brights at us please...

Do you own your own truck or use a company's? What is your favorite brand to drive?

I prefer to drive company, it's just less of a headache. I have driven Freightliners, Volvo and international and I prefer the International head and shoulders above the others. Though I still want to try a Kenworth and a Peterbilt just because of how many people talk about them

You are not driving now are you? How much do you make a year and how many miles do you drive?

Nope, I put that in the description lol, I'm at home. I make about 50k a year if I'm lucky, no where near what I should be making but hey they havent raised the pay for us in 30 years or more as a whole industry. I also do about 100-125k miles a year Edit: hit the wrong button, thanks for pointing out the mistake

What is the closest you have come to crashing?

I've had a few close calls, the one that stands out the most though is going south through Oklahoma and as I start to go down a hill a guy in a pickup ahead of me had a trailer full of massive rocks and both his tires blow out flipping the trailer and throwing rocks everywhere and whipping him around and around. Luckily I was keeping distance from him because it looked sketchy in the first place. Another was because some dipshit was rubbernecking, hit a rail, spun and hit a semi. This was way ahead of me but everyone slammed on their breaks including me but in went into the side of the road and did everything I could to stop, and I still went past several cars. Had I not gone right they would have been greasy spots on the road

What do you think of the officers that do the inspections?

All been pretty nice to me. It just like any other person in a position of authority. Treat them well, crack some jokes and do whatever the hell they tell you to you're fine. I know my rights, but I have nothing to hide so usually by the time I'm done dealing with them everyone is smiling

Who had doubts that I'm real? Here's my truck less than a week ago :p I'll post another pic but only if you ask nicely! ^{.http://imgur.com/8WDDJdG}

I need to teach you how to use a camera...

How long until automation had made your job obsolete?

I doubt it will be completely obsolete for at least another 30-50 years. The tech just isn't there. We will need someone to take the wheel or to do certain things for a long time to come. The sooner the better though imo

Why are all truck stops the same?

They're not... by a long shot. Even if they have the same name they are vastly different.

That being said they mostly carry all the same stuff and have the same amenities just like gas stations

Are you concerned about the automation of semi trucks? I'm a freight conductor for the railroad. But I think we're atleast a decade off before freight trains are automated.

I'm surprised you aren't at this point honestly, and no I'm not. I think it needs to be with the amount of idiots on the road both in trucks and cars... I have an education to fall back on, and most of these guys can get one easily enough

how often do they drugtest? are the days of the luxury of smoking bud during drives over?

They random test you, but DOT can force you to pee in a cup on the side of the road. Not worth it in my book

My dad was always a trucker growing up and I was pretty proud of him as a kid for obvious reasons. We would always be there waving goodbye when he left in his truck and we would all be there when we had to pick him up. We all missed him a lot but eventually we got used to him being gone all the time and unfortunately our relationship with him isn't really there anymore. I always wished he had a different job. My question is, do you see yourself driving with a family in the future or do you plan on finding a new career when that time comes?

I'm looking for a trucking jobs that gets me home every night, but also working on another degree so I can get off the road permanently

Are your dispatchers as annoying to you as they are to me sometimes?

Fuck yes! They are irritating as hell sometimes, most of the time as long as you communicate with me and keep me rolling we're fine. Don't call me unless it's an emergency, that's what email and elogs are for, and don't badger me about crap I know already. And for gods sake please keep me moving without having to remind you I exist every other day... That's what just makes me bypass a dispatcher and go straight to the load planners

Why does it seem that most semi trucks drivers seem to drive like fuck heads? Or is it just the local cdl drivers that seem to drive like assholes?

I'm guessing it's just the local ones. Most local and ltl drivers drive like asshats, to us otr guys driving is different. Either that or it's you driving like an ass and just blame us, I've seen that before. Though I'm not trying to insult you. My step father is from Chicago and drives like a maniac but calls everyone else idiots

Meet any good lot lizards?

Nope, the good looking ones are cops

How difficult is it to focus on the job, and not be complacent?

Are there trucks you like to drive more than others?

Do you hate driving when you're not working, and how weird is the sensation when you get into a car after being accustomed to being in a truck?

DO you have satellite radio, or just you just use local stations?

Very hard. You stare at a broken line on the road for hundreds of miles a day... I listen to podcasts, audio books and talk radio to stay engaged or else I would just have run myself off the road from boredom long ago... I love International trucks, Volvo as well. Freightliner hates drivers and I hate them, and I want to try out a Kenworth and Peterbilt at some point. It's a WEIRD sensation, you're super low to the ground and it seems so small and fast... And no, I don't mind it, but if someone else wants to drive then I am alllll for it! Some companies put it in for you, but you can get the things from any truck stop so most all of us have it