IamA Janitor, AMA!

Have you ever found a penny in a door?

am I missing something here

Do you prefer to be called a custodian?

I refer to myself as "Maintenance" cause that's what our job listing is posted as. But I really don't mind what I'm called.

[deleted]

you tell em space

Hello people interested in the art of janitorial businesses! Sorry I did not reply immediately, I am a primarily mobile user and completely forgot to turn on my notifications in this app. My apologies,

• your friendly neighborhood janitor.

Does that sawdust stuff really make puke easier to clean up? Do people even use it anymore? Are you the wrong person to ask?

Is there a sawdust type stuff cleaning authority?

HOLY SHIT THAT SAWDUST SAVES LIVES. Seriously, I'd be wiping up children's vomit with paper towels instead of a broom and dustpan if it weren't for that sawdust. and it smells wonderful.

What's an alternative to sawdust?

lots and lots of paper towels and cleaner

Thanks for all you do. What is your opinion of the Japanese style of school janitorial care, where the students are responsible for their own clean-up in their own schools?

we have that implemented in our kindergarten classes, kids give themselves their own snacks everyday and are responsible for cleaning that and their area up every single day. But I'd love to have kids work with me, every so often some will find me outside and get on my back if I'm sitting down fixing something and ask me questions about what I'm doing and it keeps me company. it's pretty cute.

I feel like every elementary school needs a cool janitor. Ours did card tricks and stuff.

I do cool stuff too! Like tell your children they're gunna be cleaning toilets for the rest of the night since your mom never came to get you!

Humans are pretty awesome until we adults go and ruin them.

adults can't clean up after themselves

Which gender bathroom is more disgusting, and why do you think it is womens? lol

Woman's. Periods. That is all

What's the strangest or most valuable object/s you found laying around in the park?

I've never actually found anything if significant value at the parks. All the kids take their stuff home everyday, and seniors don't bring anything but food. But we find dead ducks all the time in the pond because they're great snacks for the foot wide snapping turtles we have. Like fried chicken.

If you could have any other job, disregarding the pay, what would you do?

Oh I would love to be the guy who create the visuals for shows. Raves (especially) or any concert really. sounds like an interesting topic to learn and pursue.

Did you suddenly die?

yes

Do you get sick of charlie work?

It's pretty routine. It's like brushing your teeth in the morning, I'm a slave to my job :)

I am also a janitor, keep cleaning the good mess. How long have you been in the business? Any cool things your job entails I might be jealous of?

5 years, and I routinely get force fed food grandmothers make, so it's like I'm at my grandmas all day, which is amazing.

Awesome, follow up, how old are you if I can ask. Just wondering how old you were when you got into it.

15 then, 20 now.

That's awesome! How did you get into it at 15?

first job application, never got an interview and was immediately hired.

What's the craziest thing to ever happen to you while on the job?

So here's the thing. The building I work in was supposed to be a hotel, but turns out they stopped construction halfway through and built a library instead(I'm still not sure if that is less or more creepy to me) But anyways, the building is haunted. I could write on and on about the shit that has happened to me in that building but I'll stick to the most frequent story. What happens on a regular basis is that the toilets and urinals will flush on their own due to the sensors they have. When I first started working there it really freaked me out, until I realized it was just the sensors firing. But one day I got the courage to run into the woman's bathroom to actually see one of these toilets flushing on their own. So right when I heard one of them flush, I ran into the bathroom and turned the light on and started looking through the stalls as fast as I could to see which one was flushing. We have 4 stalls in the woman's restroom - 3 with sensors and one that is manual. I check the first stall, nothing , I check the second stall, nothing, I get to the third manual stall, and I saw the water coming back up into the toilet and I noped the fuck out of there. It still happens on a regular basis, and you can tell which toilet is flushing based on the sound the pipes make when it flushes, and the manual one happens every now and then.

You clean up after senior citizens and children: which one is worse?

Children. They're assholes

Okay hotshot, what would you use to get a coffee stain up off a tile floor?

Warm mop bucket, if that doesn't work then magic eraser. Did you know those are actually magic? They were made by aliens, look it up.

I used to be a janitor. I couldn't stand it. Lasted all of 45 days. Now I work as a mechanic again but for cars instead of airplanes. We have these things called miracle wipes for cleaning customers cars after we fix them. I swear these things are Mr. Clean Magic Erasers in a wipe form. It can get literally anything out of anything.

already on my way to ace to get some

Do you prefer Master of the Custodial Arts?

I prefer the term "Tai Kwan Do-n't make a fucking mess in my fucking building kid"

I must sleep and will be back tomorrow morning to finish these questions! Do not kill me in my sleep for not answering immediately I must educate myself tomorrow morning at school

Do you like your job? I mean, can you see yourself doing it until you retire?

yes and no. I'm very used to it, but it's also very bland and routine oriented.

How much can you relate to Groundskeeper Willie?

He's like an idol

Favorite janitorial zombie killing weapon?

Fucking broom stick. I spin that thing all day, I think I could kick some zombie ass with it.

Post vid of broom spinning routine?

soon

What's the most NSFW thing you've seen at work?

This one time we had a special recreation dance for adults with mental disabilities. One of the older women shit her pants half way through the dance and she managed to get to the bathroom; but got all of her poop all over the stall and toilet. That was a fun, stinky night.

How much do you make?

9.25/hour

What TV show or movie has done the best job of portraying your job?

I always imagine myself as the classic janitor with headphones singing into the mop wearing headphones. I fucking love doing that.

Why would the mop be wearing headphones?

he likes to listen to music in his free time you dick

Did you have any part in inventing the knife-wrench?

Also, do you have anyone you like to torment?

hehehehe this is a good, maniacle question. I like to fuck with people as much as I can at work. Whether that be telling a child that since his dad isn't showing up to pick him up from class he has to clean toilets with me for the rest of the night, or turning on the alarms at night time and watching senior citizens be utterly confused on what the beeping sound is. But mostly I stick to innocent pranks, like scaring co workers.

If you scare a coworker and he shits his pants, who has to clean up the mess?

Him

Does anyone (patrons) ever come up to you and express their appreciation for the work you do?

If not, they should. Janitorial/Custodial/Maintenance work like many other occupations is seldom appreciated. I've made a point to teach my children this and it starts with the little things like leaving a location, place, facility cleaner than you found it so you don't make their job more frustrating. Personal responsibility, selfless service and integrity are key concepts that aren't reinforced enough in modern society in my opinion. So, thank you for what you do and remember that someone out there truly appreciates it.

Not regularly, sadly. But thank you! You just made my day that much better! :)

I'm sure you have a handful of nasty stories, but what about times when an aspect of your job brightened your day?

When I can help other people. In any ways shape or form, to have someone relieved just for a second of what they're doing and let me help them and hear about their day and watch them smile. It's comforting, especially when their the same age as my grandparents.

What is the respect like given from society and those you clean up after towards you and your position, and how has that affected you?

This is a seriously philosophical question that i wasn't prepared to answer at one in the morning. I work with all seniors and children, the seniors bring in homemade food all the time and mostly they offer me food; so that's a plus. But children are fucking dicks. This one kid managed to rip the whole water fountain off the wall once- and I asked him to be more careful afterwards- and then did it again.

Puts up an ama & doesn't answer any questions? No wonder you're a fucking janitor!

plz I am a mobile user :(

Is OP going to answer a single question?!?!?

none of them

Yet oddly enough, you have a better AMA than that Everest climber from the other day.

Thank you fine sir

How much shit do you have to deal with?

Not as much as you'd think. Actual shit - everyone and then. Bullshit?- all day

Would you rather be a dishwasher?

If not, I might need a new job...

I am a dishwasher!

Did you know that when you get a question while doing an AMA you're supposed to answer it?

I'm aware yes yes thnx

Ive been trying to answer all of the questions for this shit OP. Once again I'm picking up the slack for one of the lazy people in my field.

Yes, I knew that.

Thnx m8

What made you decide to be a janitor? Was it a dream of yours growing up?

This was the first placed I applied sophomore year of high school. I was hired on a grant and I sadly missed the first "interview day" when all the new employees hired off the grant would sit down in a group with a supervisor and fill out paper work and then get your shirt and first day. I showed up the next day and without an interview got the job. Just signed me up and off I went that day.