I'm that Nina Hartley. I've had enough sex to lose my fear of it, but not my respect for it. Nurse, educator, entertainer, Feminist, Kinkster, and more. Thirty-one year veteran of adult entertainment, author of "Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex." Check out my 38-Volume sex-ed series, the "Nina Hartley Guides," from adam&eve



NSFW!!! www.nina.com

EDIT: It's after six here and I gotta go. Thank you all SO much for posting such great questions!

Comments: 2079 • Responses: 66  • Date: 

name-classified1831 karma

Hi Nina,

Your video with Sunny Lane explaining how to perform cunniligious was both informative and sexy.

Why did you decide to make the video with Sunny and are there any other videos that you would recommend for educational purposes?

Porn is hot and very exciting, but so much is not meant for the layperson to interpret as what women really want in the bedroom. Can you please put some stigmas/myths to rest that you can speak on personally?

TheRealNinaHartley1043 karma

Thanks! I loved making that.

I have an entire series from Adam&Eve, the "Nina Hartley Guides" that cover a lot of topics. Check out the site and see which titles speak to you.

Also Kink U has videos, and, I think, Kinky Kollege.

Good luck!

HelenVonBiscuits1444 karma

When William H Macy said "my wife's got an ass in her cock on the driveway" in Boogie Nights, did he misspeak or was the line written that way?

TheRealNinaHartley1448 karma

He misspoke and they decided to keep it, I believe.

ismellurpoo1313 karma

If you could change one thing about the current sex industry, what would it be and why?

TheRealNinaHartley3902 karma

DECRIMINALIZE CONSENSUAL SEX WORK to allow sex workers to band together for safety, to get the cops off our backs, to allow for a normal family life, to remove the need for pimps/exploiters.

This would also bring working men and women into the fold, so they can tell police when/if there's actual trafficking/underage workers in the neighborhood.

ThA2001165 karma

Any advice for a marriage that is struggling because the husband has a huge sex drive but the wife just seems to not have one at all?

TheRealNinaHartley2784 karma

It depends on whether or not the wife is willing for the husband to have an outside sex life w/a professional or someone who is willing to date a married person.

I don't advocate cheating, as that brings more pain and suffering to all.

She's not wrong for not having a sex drive and he's not wrong for having a high one. They just might be wrong for each other.

If she won't partake at all, that's a red flag.

She should see her doctor to make sure her hormones/health are fine.

My sex drive is low but my interest in sex is high, so it's not hard to get me in "the mood "because I'm WILLING to be gotten "in the mood."

If the wife won't attempt to get herself in the mood, or allow him to get her in the mood, you need more help than I can give you now.

HelenVonBiscuits1139 karma

Were you treated differently on the set of Boogie Nights because you were an actual pornstar?

TheRealNinaHartley1782 karma

Yes and no. I had a private dressing/resting area, a makeup artist, etc., but no one hung out w/me. Except for Macy, w/whom I had scenes, no one really talked to me. Don Cheadle for a moment. The others, not so much.

I think they were scared of me.

PainMatrix708 karma

So what was Macy like then?

TheRealNinaHartley1433 karma

A complete darling. A gentleman. A great guy.

ParanoidPanda351100 karma

Based on all the women (civilians and sex workers) you've encountered, what would be a good penis size (in inches)?

TheRealNinaHartley2231 karma

5.5-6.5 inches. Really. Thicker is better than longer, though one can always learn to work better w/what Nature gave him.

DeLuca24001852 karma

This pleases me.

FyreCell1058 karma

I got a solid 3.5 inches that will please you well.

straydog19801390 karma

Just double your speed and your mileage will be the same.

TheRealNinaHartley1593 karma

rim shot!

TheRealNinaHartley772 karma

Yes, while not all positions are available to all couples, 3.5 hard would be good to grind on. Also, work on your handsex and oral skills, as well as learning how to use a strap-on harness.

bellendd1066 karma

Best sex you have ever had? (apart from your husband of course)

TheRealNinaHartley1936 karma

Randy Spears, Hamburg, October '89, on a stormy night.

Porn Guy From Germany, St. Tropez, '87

First Time Getting My Fist Into a Woman, porn set, '85

For starters.

toeofcamell538 karma

Would porn guy from Germany be Big Tom by chance? Some call him White Pony I think

TheRealNinaHartley1673 karma

No, he was a Roma, dark and handsome and super sexy. He had zero English, so all we could do all weekend was fuck.


lostpatrol472 karma

So statistically, Germany is the key to the best sex?

TheRealNinaHartley677 karma

No, but I do have a good track record, it would seem!

GregHoldr960 karma

If you never got into the porn industry, what do you think you'd be doing?

TheRealNinaHartley1288 karma

I'd be a midwife, likely. or a therapist working w/the body.

AesirReverend547 karma

Would you consider working as a sexual surrogate?

TheRealNinaHartley722 karma

Absolutely, though the training for it I don't think would fit into my schedule. Love the idea, though.

SevenFluffyKittens418 karma

What's that?

TheRealNinaHartley945 karma

A sexual surrogate works with psychiatrists/sex therapists in helping clients with any sexual issues they may have.

focalfight713 karma

Hi Nina!

First of all I hope everyone sees the work that Woodhull does. The work it does should never be underestimated. Thank you for being a part of that. (Redditors: see her wikipedia for a link.)

Second: I'm a moderator at the freshly new /r/sextechniques that focusses on making sex techniques known and accesible to everyone. It's very new, but a lot of great content is coming soon. If you ever find the time, would you be interested in writing a post there about your favourite technique? You're free to include relevant (nsfw) pics and vids.

Much love and admiration

TheRealNinaHartley598 karma

Love to. Hit me up on Twitter.

ILoveNinaHartley503 karma

Hi Nina: thank you for all your work! I am your biggest fan ever. 2 part question.

  1. Do you see yourself ever doing another video where you have sex with a fan?

  2. If yes, how can I become that fan?

I promise: I am attractive; I am not unattractive; I am not NOT attractive.

TheRealNinaHartley432 karma

When I figure out how to do that, I'll be sure to let everyone know!

plentifulpooper488 karma

Did you normally, always or never climax when you were filming? Or some other combination?

TheRealNinaHartley672 karma

rarely. It's not why I'm there. That's why it's important to only do things on camera that I actually already like IRL.

PrettyHandsomeDude470 karma

Is it awkward to be on the set with everyone watching or are you used to it by now? What have been some embarrassing moments?

TheRealNinaHartley819 karma

As you can imagine, the most embarrassing moments come when one needs to pass gas during a scene. oops!

TheRealNinaHartley483 karma

I'm used to an audience. Don't forget, I'm exhibitionistic, so an audience is right up my alley.

Bolliver462 karma

What's the most alcohol you ever drank in one sitting and what was it?

TheRealNinaHartley1160 karma

Two drinks.

My limit is one drink. I'm easily susceptible to alcohol.

I like to say, "I'm a cheap date. I don't need to be drunk to have sex with you."

TexasStarForever367 karma

You are still and always have been a gorgeous lady ! Has years of doing anal affected you in any negative way? Just curious ! Love you !

TheRealNinaHartley574 karma

No, my butt is fine. I was never an anal specialist. I now keep it for my private life, as I've done the best anal I could do already.

db63fb349 karma

I remember seeing a scene where you got with a "lucky fan," don't know how much truth to it although you have many fans! Anyway in that scene you got a surprise creampie, you genuinely seemed surprised. Has that happened often and how do you normally react?

Big fan by the way. You look great!

TheRealNinaHartley641 karma

Ah, that scene was an act, as he failed to keep it up, so we faked a creampie and took it from there.

I love the idea of being with my fans, though.

genocide_cutter343 karma

Ever watched boyz in da hood?

TheRealNinaHartley205 karma


DrEvil007343 karma

The adult industry has come a long ways in the last few decades, what do you think has been the greatest influence in the industry during your 31 year professional career? What do you think could be in store for the industry in the future? Thank you for doing this AMA!

TheRealNinaHartley530 karma

Well, Numero Uno is the invention of the Internet/Digital media.

Also, the advent of fast, reliable, accurate, sensitive STD testing, especially the PCR-RNA test for HIV.

The Internet does place the "means of production" into the hands of the worker, though the Bankers still have the power to censor via banking regulations.

I don't know what's in store for the industry, except more change. The "industry" as I came to know it is almost gone, done in by the Internet. The way we do business is changing and I don't know where it will go.

You're welcome!

bobbyt327311 karma

Hi Nina! First off, big fan ;)

In one scene you play a naughty aunt seducing her nephew. Did you find it difficult to portray such an incestuous character? Was it uncomfortable?

TheRealNinaHartley564 karma

Actually, yes. I don't accept those scenes any more. My being older is enough to set up the power dynamic.

If we were doing a real movie, with a script and rehearsals, I'd be more comfortable, but as it's all ad-libbed I just feel silly.

Wayut303 karma

Who is your favorite woman in porn industry to work with and why?

TheRealNinaHartley461 karma

Any woman I like to work with especially is due to having a real connection w/her, or attraction.

Charli Piper Amber Michaels Dana DeArmond Shayla Laveaux Mika Tan Lotus Lain

For starters

StephenFreakinFoster296 karma

What gets you out of bed in the morning?

TheRealNinaHartley640 karma

Besides needing to pee? Continuing my work in sex education. Being with my husband and family.

MCLBGW289 karma

How much prep does it take to do a DP scene? Is it weird having two guys inside you at once?

TheRealNinaHartley580 karma

Each woman uses a different ass-cleaning protocol but the prep is to make sure your butt is clean enough to fuck (I don't do ass-to-mouth). It's not weird for me but it can be for the guys, who are het and squigy about being so close to another guy's nuts.

clayHarvest274 karma

So do you have a fetish for nylons? Always noticed you wear them often.

TheRealNinaHartley452 karma

I don't have a fetish but I feel I look better on camera with them on, and I do have a lot of lingerie fans. The ones who want to see me naked have to watch my pre-2002 porn.

felixnoops242 karma

What porn production companies treat their employees the best?

Do you think there can ever more emotionally involved - story driven porn that makes it big?

TheRealNinaHartley316 karma

Hmm, re: emotional porn. Try Jacky St. James, Pink&White Productions; some Wicked movies. Emotion in porn is tricky, as it's so personal. What's one person's turn on is another's snooze fest. The emotion usually comes when there is a real connection between the players who allow it to show, such as Sean Michaels and me.

If it happens it'll be more of a fluke than anything else, imho.

I'm always well-treated by my employers, so I don't have an answer for your first question.

poontanger227 karma

What are your religious beliefs, if any?

TheRealNinaHartley1392 karma

I'm atheist. Secular Jewish background. My parents discovered Zen when I was ten and have stuck with it all these years. So, after 46 years of exposure to Buddhism I'm a quasi-"JewBu."

I believe that "spiritual" feelings, generated in the mid-brain, are a human reality. I believe "religion" was created by the forebrain to explain/give shape to the our feelings and emotions.

charoum226 karma

Does it ever get kinda creepy to know that there is always a fresh 18 year old discovering your work, or do you enjoy it? At this point I think I've been enjoying your work longer in my life than I have not been aware of you, and just want to say thank you for all you've done.

TheRealNinaHartley382 karma

I love that that young adults find my work every day. I'd be with all of you once but, logistically speaking, that's just not possible. So, I make the movies to let you know I'm there in spirit if not in flesh.

Plus, you're watching someone who's having a good time doing something she'd be doing at home, anyway, so your conscience is clear!

FyreCell50 karma

It looks like good porn to be introduced to actually. It is pretty clean./

charoum93 karma

I thought so, Nina is the classiest woman I can think of in porn.

TheRealNinaHartley182 karma

If you want really silly and fun porn, seek out my '80s stuff. Sooo silly and fun.

TheBlankVerseKit197 karma


TheRealNinaHartley542 karma

Ask her what you can do to help her realize that you find her sexy. Telling someone who doesn't agree that she's beautiful falls on deaf ears.

"There Is Nothing Wrong With You," by Cheri Huber, is a good book and easy to use.

Keep loving her, being nice to her, touching her in non-sexual ways to let her know you want to be close.

Maybe she's depressed, in which case she'll need more help than you can give her. If she goes on meds it pretty much kills your sex drive.

Get counseling so you can learn how to talk about difficult things in a loving way.

Good luck!

jpfdeuce195 karma

Hi Nina,

How often have you been exposed to others in the industry who got lost in emotion (actually formed a relationship)?

That and how does it even start for most? Is it just the stereotype "Oh, you want in on the (general) film industry? Take your clothes off"?


TheRealNinaHartley293 karma

Oh, there have been dozens and dozens of relationships formed on set. Some of them have endured, most were over w/in a year.

People's reasons for entering porn are as varied as they are but some reasons include:

Sex Money "Fame" The party The attention To be their own boss To get back at ________ Curiosity

For starters.

Empigee188 karma

What steps would you recommend for people who are nervous about sex?

TheRealNinaHartley438 karma

Education! Better to wait until you have the information you need before stumbling into something you may regret. Learn about your body and what it likes to get off. Learn about your values and beliefs as they pertain to relationships, intimacy, romance, etc. Learn about how the body of your target gender works. Reorient your relationship to pleasure, so that you're okay with any and all CONSENSUAL acts of pleasure. Make friends with your butt. Start out w/Cuddle Parties, to help you relax around other people. Check out Sex Positive bloggers, sites, groups, and communities.

scooch_mgooch182 karma

What are your thoughts on "casting couch" porn? Is the genre as exploitative as the media makes it out to be?

TheRealNinaHartley394 karma

The casting couch in porn is not a real thing. In mainstream movies, yes, but in porn the blowjob IS the job, not the audition for the job.

That being said, there have been slimy producers who would get blowjobs from women in return for agreeing to hire them. Not super widespread, though.

TheRealNinaHartley442 karma

However, as a fantasy, "casting couch" porn can be fun, like "babysitter porn," or "my friend's hot mom," "My son's hot friend" etc.

Porn is fantasy, after all.

Anna_Namoose176 karma

Hi Nina, I was lucky enough to meet you at a movie convention in Cleveland and you were just the absolute sweetest person I met there. Who do you think is the greatest living actor or actress today?

TheRealNinaHartley336 karma

Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren, Patrick Stewart, Dustin Hoffman, Matthew McConaughey, Bennedict Cumberbach.

For starters.

southsamurai174 karma

I've been wondering lately how long it will be before sex work and pornography will become both viable and safe careers in America. Do you have any predictions as to how long it will take for our society to shift enough to make that possible?

Also, what do you feel needs to change in that regard?

TheRealNinaHartley533 karma

Porn, being legal, is a safe career.

Sex work, not soon. We're way too Puritanical to allow adults to make that decision for themselves and believe that punishment will somehow, after thousands of years, Make It Stop.

You can't stop the need for commercial sexual services any more than you can stop the need for food.

The laws need to change but they won't, as the Religious wingnuts have a stranglehold on most statehouses and the Congress.

Support groups like SWOP (Sex Workers Outreach Program) or HIPS (Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive) , if you want to make a difference.

nsbsfinest161 karma

What was Berkeley High like when you went there? Have you been back?

TheRealNinaHartley260 karma

Berkeley High was great. 3,000 students, grades 10-12, with a college-level drama department, which was where I made my home and some of my oldest and closest friends.

I've been to all my reunions and have loved them all. It's sad to know that some of my friends have already died, which sucks.

There's fences around the campus now. No more civilians freely walking onto campus, etc.

I graduated in '77, so there was plenty of drugs around, though I didn't do them.

CpnKangaroo152 karma

How ya doin today? Did you have a good breakfast?

TheRealNinaHartley172 karma

Fine, thanks! I had a bowl of cereal w/fruit.

BornNRaised415152 karma

What was your most memorable day of work?

TheRealNinaHartley380 karma

Having live, hardcore, boy/girl sex in front of a live audience of nearly two thousand people, in Barcelona. I love Europe!

And Boogie Nights, since working w/William H. Macy was a real dream.

DrEvil007115 karma

I need to go to Europe now.

TheRealNinaHartley234 karma

Europe, especially, you guessed it, Germany, has a long tradition of explicit sex shows. The men don't come, so they can do up to four shows a day. It's very hot, imho.

Parintachin144 karma

Nina! You are awesome! Are you still in contact with Andrea Parducci and is she doing okay? We still miss her!

TheRealNinaHartley159 karma

Hmm, I don't know that name. What was her screen name?

Parintachin213 karma

Little Oral Annie.

TheRealNinaHartley248 karma

Oh, I've not heard tell of her for thirty years. She left the business in '85.

LDM95142 karma

Spit or swallow?

TheRealNinaHartley386 karma

Depends. Swallowing is less messy and, if you put the end of the penis at the back of your mouth, you bypass all the tastebuds.

I've never liked the taste of semen but I like oral pop shots. Go figure.

tinroof-rusted133 karma

Hi Nina. Fellow nurse here. According to your wiki page, your nursing license expired in 2001. Why did you let it lapse?

TheRealNinaHartley474 karma

Actually, it expired in '86, two years after I got it. I never have earned a paycheck as a nurse, as I wan't ready for a patient to die if I had a bad day.

I'm grateful every day for my degree, though. Nursing was the best background for me to have for my career.

Sexuality in our culture is sick and sick people need a nurse's care. We're harmed in our bodies and it's through our bodies that we can heal, one moment of pleasure at a time.

I like to think of myself as the Clara Barton of sex, working in the trenches of our sexually warring culture.

207287126 karma

What is your favourite sex toy to use alone, and with a partner? And what type of Lingerie do you feel the sexiest in? Asking for my wife.

TheRealNinaHartley247 karma

I love the Pure Wand by NJoy Toys (accept no substitutes), also the NJoy Eleven.

Tantus has the best dildos. They're releasing an excellent rechargable wand-style vibe this Christmas, I believe.

Lingerie is super personal, so whatever makes her feel sexy and in the mood. I like stockings and garters and really nice heels, but that's my femme speaking.

Whatever makes you wife want to bone you, buy that for her!

Boredguy3292 karma

Of the early performers in the 70s 80s, which women enjoyed their work the most? Also which women were the most talented as actresses in the non sex scenes?

TheRealNinaHartley124 karma

Annette Haven Porshe Lynn Serena Juliette "Aunt Peg" Andersen Annie Sprinkle

Best Actresses: Georgina Spelvin Annette Haven Veronica Hart Sharon Mitchell

gjallard36 karma

Interesting response. If I might ask, Seka appears to be missing from that list. In general, do you think she didn't enjoy the work?

TheRealNinaHartley91 karma

Seka was a pure professional. If she didn't like the work you'd never know, but I've never asked her about that directly. She's on Twitter. you should ask her!

Wicksy9286 karma

Here in the UK there are a handful of documentaries on the porn industry, most notably done by Louis Theroux. Would you agree with the sentiment in these documentaries that women get a 'better deal' in the porn industry as it were? They suggested women get more bookings and pay as well as longer careers than men

I'm not saying it's wrong or anything, or even that it needs to be changed, just curious!

EDIT: if you're aware of it, what do you make of the UK banning certain sex acts in porn such as female ejaculation?

TheRealNinaHartley146 karma

That's a tricky one. Generally speaking, women earn more but men have longer careers. W/the Internet, that's changing. Many women now have careers going on 15+ years, while it's harder for men to make pay sites/Internet work pay well for them (unless they're okay w/catering to a Gay market).

The issue is always one of consent. If a person gives informed consent, then their experience on the job is pretty okay. As well, it helps a lot to be exhibitionistic and have an "alt-sex" mentality. Porn is not good for people who are "regular" in their sexual outlook/desires.

SlimFalco75 karma

I've heard some porn contracts have stated that the actress "does not have to have sex with Ron Jeremy." Are you able to confirm this?

TheRealNinaHartley218 karma

No need for it to be in the contract. Each woman can say, "yes," or "no," to any partner, for any reason.

powergauge68 karma

Hey nina! Big fan of your work! You've done almost every race under the rainbow. However would you consider performing with a Asian or Indian male? Thanks in advance

TheRealNinaHartley140 karma

Love to! I'm an equal opportunity fucker. If a South Asian or East Asian man gets into porn and wants to work with me, it's on!

probabledickbag65 karma

  1. What's been more fun for you between filming porn and your fantastic educational products?

  2. Do you have a personal collection of all your porn films?

  3. Any personal "never again" porn stories to tell?

  4. What advice would you give a clueless young lady wanting to get into the sex industry today?

  5. What do you wish people would actually ask you instead of "the usual" stuff?

  6. Have you ever been hypnotised?

TheRealNinaHartley127 karma

  1. Both, but I'm most proud of the educational efforts. Though, many people have learned from my regular porn, as well.
  2. No. It'd be over a thousand titles, most of them on VHS. No room!
  3. Never again on a boat, or with Ron Jeremy.
  4. Run! Wait! DO YOUR HOMEWORK. Try to get your jollies off camera, as once you fuck on camera it's FOREVER. As in, always there.
  5. I'm fine w/any question, really.
  6. No. Not a good candidate. I'd have to trust their motives.

I_dont_like_you_much60 karma

Did you order the Large Pizza... with Sausage?

TheRealNinaHartley69 karma

Rim shot!

Drunknfeels49 karma

What is something that you weren't up for doing but when you tried it you enjoyed it?

May be sex related, probably sex related.

TheRealNinaHartley77 karma

Can't think of anything, because any consensual sexual activity is appealing to me and I'll find a way to like at least some aspect of it.

Really. If I like the idea of it I'll try it.

blue_dreams48 karma

In your opinion, what year(s) would you say porn reached it's peak?

TheRealNinaHartley158 karma

It depends on the criteria one uses.

Peak production: mid-late '90s: 10,000-12,000 titles per YEAR.

Peak production values: Radley Metzger, Anthony Spinelli, Wicked, Digital Playground.

Peak Weirdness: Ongoing.

smoothaspaneer45 karma

Hey Nina, Of all the porn videos out there what video would you say is your favorite video of all time? Also I was wondering if you ever watch porn that you are in when you are home . Thanks for answering and taking time out of your day to this !

TheRealNinaHartley85 karma

Gawd, I don't have a favorite of all time, though the scene between Adreana Nicole and Even Stone in my "Guide to Advanced Anal" is super hot.

TheRealNinaHartley80 karma

I don't watch video porn at home. We prefer illustrated porn.

kaliforniamike37 karma

Hi Nina! Big fan!

Little variation on a common Reddit question here for you.

Would you rather fuck one horse sized dick? Or a hundred duck sized dicks?

TheRealNinaHartley53 karma

The latter. I don't have room for a horse dick!

JustABitEvil36 karma

Hi Nina, First off thanks on behalf of my wife and I for years of both entertainment and information. Do you enjoy watching porn on your own time or is it like bringing 'work' home with you?

TheRealNinaHartley55 karma

We don't watch porn but I look at books about sex and sexuality all the time.

"Voluptuous Panic," by Mel Gordon, is a favorite.

genocide_cutter22 karma

Thoughts and opinions on Taylor Wane?

TheRealNinaHartley29 karma

Don't know her well but she takes a good pinup picture!

straydog198010 karma

As a long time participant and observer of the industry, what do you think the best / worse things to happen to porn were over your career?

TheRealNinaHartley33 karma

Best things: getting the legal right to make porn in California in 1988. Also, the advent of reliable, fast, accurate STI testing and its universal adoption by the industry.

Worst things: HIV, Michael Weinstein and the AHF. Religious moralizers. The rise of the censorship complex, both of the religious right and the feminist "left."

Not sure yet about the Internet. A very, very, mixed bag, imho.