Swardson, back to do another AMA. Stoked. Check out my new special on Comedy Central this Saturday May 30th. Ask me whatever. Don't be too much of a hater or Bucky Larson will cum in your eyes.

Proof: http://imgur.com/qhlG4yR

EDIT: Thanks for the questions. Gotta do more press. I'll be back. Enjoy the special. Love, Bucky. xoxox

Comments: 388 • Responses: 75  • Date: 

letsgetweirdkbye191 karma

When are you going to write another movie? Grandma's boy will forever remain a classic you sick son of a bitch!

realnickswardson180 karma

Been focusing on TV for while. With the director of Grandma's Boy. Sold a new movie pitch but TV is the goal right now. Developing with Danny McBRide

nitrohawk91130 karma

Why were you robbed of an oscar for your role as the guy that eats sunblock in Benchwarmers?? I demand answers!!!

realnickswardson155 karma

We're still talking to the Academy about it. Streep said she'd give me one of hers.

broncobluster85 karma

Who was the consistently funniest person on the Reno 911 set?

realnickswardson89 karma

Tough call. Such a great cast. Tom and Kerry were insane.

Kiwiwastingtime73 karma

I love gay robot and wish we could have robot babies, although I am a dude so maybe me and gay robot will have to adopt. Do we have your blessing?

realnickswardson57 karma

Bless you

Karma_Chamillionaire51 karma

I'm going to Vegas next month. What do I need to do while I'm there? I've been before, but you seem like an expert. I'll only be there for one night, so I have the make the most of it.

realnickswardson103 karma

Go to the library.

Karma_Chamillionaire43 karma

That must be a new strip club, I'm adding it to my schedule

realnickswardson53 karma

Mirage is where I perform so I love it there but Encore at the Wynn is dope. XS is the best club and go see my boy Carrot Top! He's the best. I always go.

ImRichieDagger47 karma

Hi Nick! I'm looking forward to the new stand-up special. If Tom Lennon and Ben Garrant ever bring back Reno 911! would you be up for playing Terry again?

realnickswardson131 karma

I would be a fatter version of Terry but still wicked gay so yeah.

nitrohawk9139 karma

Were you shocked when critics panned Bucky Larson? Were you happy with the final cut of the film?

realnickswardson69 karma

I love that movie. Not shocked. Haha. They were ready to hate it. Everyone was. People need to hate on stuff to feel like they have a voice. That movie is one of my favs. Love the people that saw it in the theaters.

BrodyApproved41 karma

Love the people that saw it in the theaters.

Those poor souls.

realnickswardson118 karma

Bashing Bucky Larson. Wow. Really original. Congrats.

titflapsweat35 karma

What's your take on cats and ukuleles?

realnickswardson113 karma

both get me hard

NDoilworker34 karma

When you play video games do you play with other actor friends? Can you tell us who you play with?

realnickswardson55 karma

Will Arnett

Dean_Oliver32 karma

"the zoo? ah fuck that. I'm not fuckin going to the zoo. what are you gay?" "where's my doctor dre CD? has anybody seen my Dre CD?"

realnickswardson47 karma

Old school Swardson. Boom. Diarrhea.

ajlposh32 karma

Hello sir! Who are your comedy influences?

realnickswardson66 karma

Steve Martin, Woody Allen, Abe Lincoln.

CheeeseHead2029 karma

We randomly got drunk at Barney's Beanery together - among plenty of other people there - one night last year during the NBA (Mavs/Spurs) & NHL (Minnesota/Chicago?) playoffs. I was the drunk Mavs fan.

Just saying thanks for the crazy encounter.

realnickswardson41 karma

Yeah buddy. Minnesota Wild :-(

PmButtPics4ADrawing24 karma

How's Wheelchair Cat doing?

realnickswardson53 karma

He died of gonnorhea

dick-nipples22 karma

Is there anything you won't joke about?

realnickswardson53 karma

I'm not a shock value guy. I think of dark horrible jokes but don't want to put them out there. I don't joke about horrible event tragedies. That's just me.

potato62321 karma

How many takes did it take when Nealon was yelling "did you eat one of my Grapes!?" That's one of the funniest scenes ever haha

realnickswardson30 karma

Sobbed laughing. Nealon and I couldn't handle it.

abfazi020 karma

What's the tastiest thing you've ever put in your mouth?

realnickswardson87 karma

Betty white's pubes

Jeeshish16 karma

Are you a Brian Regan fan?

realnickswardson28 karma

HUGE. He's great. One of the all time greats.

iloveurbumbum16 karma

Nick, huge fan. I've watched 'Seriously, who farted?' More than any comedy special.

Do you have any tips for an aspiring comedian with debilitating stage fright?

realnickswardson74 karma

Don't have stage fright. Nothing is going to happen to you on stage. The audience wants to like you. If you get freaked out imagine being a young kid getting drafted to the Vietnam War and then realize "I think I'll survive a boo".

attentionpaysme16 karma

You still playing COD these days, or something new?

realnickswardson32 karma

Nothing right now. Been out of town a bunch. Stoked for E3 though in June.

motherfalcker16 karma

Fellow Minnesotan here, gotta ask

What's your favorite place to eat in the twin Cities?

realnickswardson24 karma

112 Eatery

Las_papas15 karma

What was your favorite part of working with Josh homme on portlandia?

realnickswardson25 karma

Dude is the man! Love Josh. Really down to earth guy. My fav part was when we cuddled and exchanged butt darts.

kGibbs15 karma

Nick! I really hope you see this! I'm from Minnesota and I love almost all things Minnesotan including those from here who rep it. Unfortunately I can't recall ever hearing you mention it. So my question is how do you feel about your Minnesota up bringing?

realnickswardson65 karma

Best ever. Love Minnesota. No other place I'd rather grow up. Except obviously Hawaii….and the Bahamas….and Miami, Chicago, New York and LA……and San Diego. San Fran and Seattle. But that's it. And Vegas.

3scompany4throomate15 karma

Hello Nick, thanks for answering questions! I'm a big fan of 30 minutes or less and you were absolutely hysterical in that film along with the rest of the cast. I was just wondering what it was like to work on set and why Danny McBride hates Jumper by Third Eye Blind? Also can't wait to watch the new special!

realnickswardson20 karma

30 Mins was great. Danny became a very close friend after that movie. Love that dude. Insanely talented. That movie is underrated.

Jlefleur14 karma

Nick, how the fuck did you think of "masturbating sniper"?

Also, the skit (pretend time?) where you are masturbating in public, inside a bubble hidden beneath your clothing, with the artificial limbs, is absurdly hilarious.

realnickswardson19 karma

The director Tom wrote that sketch. Fucking insane. Haha.

VanilllaThunder13 karma

Favorite jelly: grape or strawberry?

realnickswardson33 karma


Inherited_Wealth12 karma

Swardson big fan have you thought about doing a podcast? You killed it on Bill Burr's and Norm McDonald's.

realnickswardson23 karma

Thought about it but it's easier to just do my friends ones

lookleftyoufailed12 karma

Hi Nick! Thanks for doing this AMA you are by far one of my favorite comedians.

What is your most favorite skit you've ever been in?

My favorite skit of yours has to be in Reno 911, you left me crying!

realnickswardson40 karma

I loved my show Pretend Time.

MuffCream11 karma

What movie have you done that you think is underrated? For instance, my favorite movie that you did was Bucky Larson.

realnickswardson22 karma

same. That and 30 Minutes or Less.

funnymann310 karma

Nick! When you have a group of comedy pals, are you constantly trying to laugh/make each other laugh or do you need that time to not be "on"?

realnickswardson20 karma

We're usually pretty mellow. It's nice to be normal. Other people want you to be funny.

Rikvidr9 karma

How can you possibly smell your own penis if it's in Adam Sandler's mouth?

realnickswardson17 karma

Through his ears.

Jeeshish9 karma

Which show would you want to have a cameo in? It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Workaholics or The League?

realnickswardson15 karma

All of them are great and I'm buds with all those dudes. I'd do either.

alpinetouch9 karma

Nick, how should I invest my hard earned money?

realnickswardson42 karma

Cannon balls. They've got to make a come back at some point.

jaquetheduck8 karma

Hey Nick, if you could go to a strip club with any politician, who would it be?

realnickswardson22 karma

Barney Frank

BDRainman7 karma

How's it going? Big fan here. What's your most interesting story from your high school days? #beepbeepsweep

realnickswardson15 karma

I have a ton. I was a loose cannon. Shocker. Expelled 4 times. No joke.

AlexRinker7 karma

Do you still rollerblade and/or sell your body on your free time?

realnickswardson11 karma

Always will. Always.

Arumple7 karma

I listened to you on Comedy Bang Bang's Podcast this morning while I ate away my hangover with frozen mini waffles. When Scott was admiring your outfit at the beginning and commented on your watch, was it an actual watch? Or just your penis draped over your wrist?

realnickswardson7 karma

It was a watch. Rolex DateJust, blue face. Fresh.

cleverguuurl7 karma

Favorite ice cream flavor?

realnickswardson30 karma

I'm allergic to dairy but I'd have to say 'State Fair Oyster Food Poisoning Diarrhea' flavor

smross8187 karma

If you could go back and re-do one role, not because you want to do it better but because you enjoyed the experience, what would it be?

realnickswardson16 karma

Just Go With It

jazdz0107 karma

So when are you gonna come do a show in Duluth? Also did you ever get CB Radio for your car bed?

realnickswardson9 karma

Maybe this summer I'll cruise up there. What's a good venue to perform?

SavageCulture7 karma

How do you think Teddy and the boys are gunna fair this year? Think we can grace the playoffs again? Teddy seems like the Real Deal. Skol Vikings!

realnickswardson12 karma

I put a hundred on them in Vegas. Haha. We're gold.


Who fuckin farted?

realnickswardson12 karma


mpa0426 karma

Do you plan on coming to the Massachusetts area like Boston again for another tour any time soon?

realnickswardson13 karma

I'll always go to Boston. Not touring right now though.

ayellellwhyesesay6 karma

What is your favorite thing in the world to do?

If you could be any age forever what age would you pick?

Will the beep beep sweep really clean up food poisoning diarrhea from oysters?

Ps you're my favorite still. BEEP BEEP!

realnickswardson15 karma

Put stuff in my butt. 98 yeah Love you

Hugie6 karma

Would you rather have legs that are paralyzed or have no legs at all?

realnickswardson15 karma

Paralyzed obv. Duh.

finnews6 karma

What city should I visit to increase my chances of having a beer w u/realnickswardson ?

realnickswardson12 karma

Anywhere in Peru

steelycrayon5 karma

Would you rather have sex with Ricky Rubio or Nikola Pekovic?

realnickswardson14 karma

Pekovic. Bet that dude has a hammer.

Petite_Larceny5 karma

Nick, I've yet to come up with a roller derby name for myself, but I want it to be a Terry Bernadino pun. Can I get some help?

realnickswardson15 karma

Harry PoopyPeno

flounder195 karma

Who's your favorite pornstar and why?

realnickswardson15 karma


legallyderp235 karma

Nick when you coming to Portland? Big fan. youre the first comedian I remember laughing to the point of tears at

Edit and fuck the vikings!

realnickswardson5 karma

Love Portland. Be back on my next tour

ScruffyLooking75 karma

Hey! Big fan and all that shit. I'm pretty sure i knew some of your family in my home city of Albuquerque! How often do you visit? If you don't have family there, and that Swardson lied to me, i don't have much to ask. Have you fucked a burrito? would you recommend it?

realnickswardson14 karma

I do have family there. I never go though. Haha. They just tell me not to.

MclovinsHomewrecker4 karma

Will weed eventually destroy my family if i keep smoking it?

realnickswardson17 karma

Probably. Eat it or put it in your butt in front of your family on Christmas morning.

xFull_Panic4 karma

Is there a certain movie you wish that you had been a part of? Or a movie you had a chance to be a part in but turned it down and later regretted it?

realnickswardson25 karma

I'll never forget turning down Julia Roberts role in Pretty Woman.

ItsBail4 karma

How was it working with Paul Reubens? A part of me thinks he always acts like Pee Wee.

realnickswardson13 karma

Epic. I was floored when they said he was going to be my dad. I loved that show growing up. He's a beautiful person. Sends me a Christmas card every year.

Ft_Lauderderk-FL3 karma

You sir to me are the funniest person ever ... Quick question , Mexican food or Chinese food? And what was your favorite part about having your own show on Comedy Central , any cons?

realnickswardson5 karma

Chinese. I liked having creative control. And the cons are no bathrooms.

d0wnvot33 karma

With today's outrage culture is there anything you wont make fun of?

realnickswardson4 karma

Its' not my place or style. There are way better comedians that do that stuff.

SassyCantaloupe643 karma

What's your favorite strain of diarrhea?

realnickswardson11 karma

Dick sweat

Showtyme3 karma

Is the award winning Fantasy Football Uncensored getting a 2nd season?

realnickswardson3 karma

I don't know. Good question. Love those people.

SteelWithIt3 karma

If you had to kill one, fuck one and marry one; Mayweather, your mom and Mark Zuckerburg?

What would you choose?

realnickswardson21 karma

I'd fuck all three.

pochorules3 karma

Saw you here in Maui, stomach still hurts! Did you really go out surfing or was that the skit? If yes, who was the pro?

realnickswardson9 karma

My buddy Danny Fuller. True story. Love surfing even though I'm awful at it. Like butt darts.

Jeeshish3 karma

Is Tom Brady innocent?

realnickswardson16 karma

Yes. FUCK HE'S HOT!!!!!! So yeah.

anuncommontruth3 karma

Would you rather be a ghost or a robot and why?

realnickswardson5 karma

Robot cause they can fight and fuck and shit and cum and fun stuff like that. Albeit metal shit and oil jizz

perpetualnoise3 karma

Is there anywhere you want to perform but haven't yet?

realnickswardson6 karma

Europe or Australia.

ThatSuperNerd3 karma

Hey Nick, thanks for the AMA! Enjoyed seeing you in Michael's movie Back in the Day! Always enjoy your work, looking forward to getting you in Sacramento sometime! What was it like working with everyone on the Back in the Day set? What projects can we look forward to in the future?

realnickswardson3 karma

They were a great cast. We shot in Indiana which was weird. But awesome people.

OH-SHIT_3 karma

Hey Nick I'm a huge fan and I'm really excited you are doing this AMA! I just have one question, on a scale of 1-2 what does your penis smell like today?

realnickswardson7 karma

It smells like a summer breeze of strawberries on the fields of Nebraska.

GimmeTacos23 karma

If you had to marry a tropical fruit, what would it be?

realnickswardson19 karma

A pineapple with a black dick.

Low_Fives2 karma

Nick, me and my buddy Colin are your biggest fans. From Reno, to Grandmas Boy, to all of your other roles (Zohan, B. Lars, Just go with it). We quote your Party standup constantly, no matter how old it is. I especially love your bits on wheel of fortune and winning a wolf. I cried laughing listening to that the first time. Tears. Beautiful tears.

We cannot wait for your new stand up. My only question for you is - I know you are a big Minn Sports fan. If you had to pick one team to be able to go to every game: who would it be?

realnickswardson5 karma

Vikings. Twins would be an INSANE amount of baseball. Too much.

StarbuckPirate2 karma

I think this AMA is about farting?

realnickswardson4 karma


NoMoreYankieMyWankie2 karma

My brother's name is nick. Are you my brother?

realnickswardson4 karma

Looks like it. Hello brother. I miss you.

Shoppers_Drug_Mart2 karma

Hey Nick, what should I get my wife for her birthday?

realnickswardson11 karma

A weed snowman

DirtyElite2 karma

Any particular reason why you sound incredibly queer no matter show/movie you're in?

realnickswardson7 karma

I don't know. Might be the fact that I'm into hardcore gay sex.

Tacotuesdayftw1 karma

Which city is your favorite city to party in?

realnickswardson4 karma

LA. I love it here. Chicago and San Diego too

theteatone1 karma

Snoop Dogg vs. Nick Swardson, who wins?

realnickswardson0 karma


MartyGelb1 karma

Can we expect to some more TV from you? By the way, my son got to see you in Eugene, Oregon and he hasn't been the same since. You are the only comedian that I would let corrupt my kid. My whole family loves you.

realnickswardson2 karma

Ha. Love you. Working on more TV stuff. Gotta epic show in development.