realnickswardson

Me and Zach Galifinakis ate pot cookies once and Zach's roommate got so high he started crying and we asked him what was wrong and he said he couldn't figure out how to walk down the stairs.

Yeah, those were actually my skates. I still own them. They're made by Sketchers. I got them free at David Spades roller skating party.

Yes. Not joking.

Stand up and do a cart wheel in the middle of it.

To run really fast and then do a cannon ball while sucking my own dick.