A bit about me:

I've been working at the same adult store since I was 20 (10 years). I started working part time while I was studying business at my local university.

I kind of stumbled into this career. I applied when I was looking for a job to make some money to drink on the weekends. I thought that they would never interview me. Now, here I am! I'm the senior manager of all the store in the chain. Please, ask me anything. I've heard it all.

Proof.. Well here's a picture of a vibrating suction cup dildo that I just opened to show a customer. Today's date on a post it, too.

http://imgur.com/s6wYuGP (NSFW)

Comments: 556 • Responses: 96  • Date: 

bball1niner109 karma


DildoDeity41 karma

Hahaha! We'll see what happens with Adnan's appeal.

DudeInDistress74 karma

How many people buying stuff were specifically "just buying itbfor a friend"?

DildoDeity107 karma

Not as often as you think. I get a lot of men buying anal toys saying that they're for their girlfriend or wife, but you know by the questions they ask that it's really for them!

yourparentsliedtoyou61 karma

What are the top three products purchased in your store?

DildoDeity87 karma

Cock rings, bullets and fleshlights.

Everett456631 karma

I want to know what a cock ring is but am very scared to google it. Care to explain?

DildoDeity68 karma

They keep a penis hard for longer. You can get vibrating ones, too. 10/10 would suggest trying one out.

sinRes56 karma

Several professions will tell you about a joke that customers/clients keep telling over and over that they are truly sick of, is there one of those in your line of work?

DildoDeity94 karma

Usually jokes about our return policy. "Well I sure hope you don't take returns!!!" Ugh.

sinRes25 karma

Considering the establishment, that joke was disapointing, was hoping forsomething really inappropriate.

DildoDeity44 karma

I get people that ask to see my tits a lot, too. It's a running joke among the employees.

Yahooster23 karma

Well, how about it?

DildoDeity44 karma

I've never flashed anyone. Except for my husband who asked me once in the shop as a joke.

Nevare8852 karma

What the weirdest "Have you got this in stock?" have you had?

DildoDeity104 karma

Oh man, you have no idea. The weirdest one TODAY was someone asking for suction nipple clips that vibrate.

Of all time.. I had someone looking for an 18 inch but plug about 5 years ago.

sithrebel1538 karma


DildoDeity86 karma

Yes, on the nipple clips.

Had to special order the butt plug.

unsupported72 karma

"Sorry, we only keep the 17" and 19" inch in stock. I can get you the 18" by next Tuesday"

DildoDeity81 karma

You should have seen it, it was an 18 inch circumference, not length. So.. ouch.

GildedLily1648 karma

Cheese and rice! I think my butt from outer cheek to outer cheek is 18" across. I can't even imagine getting the hole 5+" in diameter.

DildoDeity28 karma

Yeah, I was like "wtf" when he asked for it.

LamarHusky49 karma

Has anyone ever ask for a "demonstration" involving a toy?

DildoDeity98 karma

Anything that requires batteries to function gets tested before the customer purchases it.

As far as someone asking me to literally masturbate in front of them, it happens every now and then. I just ask them if they would like to retract the comment.

Antares77753 karma

You give out free mulligans? How nice. I like you.

DildoDeity19 karma

Thanks :)

noblegoat14 karma

Anyone ever not take the mulligan and just double down?

DildoDeity49 karma

Yes. I had someone ask to touch my butt and when I asked if he'd like to retract, he said "only if you let me grab your tits instead."

HelpMeLoseMyFat47 karma

How often do you hear about glory holes in adult shops?

DildoDeity62 karma

Everyday. Every damn day. I have customers ask me if I know where any good "glory hole joints" are.

HelpMeLoseMyFat82 karma

Yes, but where are they? I mean there are so many! I want to know where they are so I can avoid them!

DildoDeity54 karma

Mostly at the gay bars in my city.

Tyzorg15 karma

The idea of using a glory hole is terrifying. It's like Russian roulette for your cock.

DildoDeity5 karma

Or mouth.. depending on which side of the glory hole you're on

Knerdian44 karma

When you first started working there, were you open about telling your friends and family? Since you've been at this place for 10 years, I'm assuming that a solid portion of people in your life know about it by now. But how easily do you bring up your job in conversation?

DildoDeity106 karma

My parents were always very open with sex. So, my parents and siblings knew right away. My husband who was my boyfriend at the time I started working here, was (obviously) very, very supportive.

My extended family found out because my grandparents came in to pick up a sex swing that they ordered.

My in laws hate it, they still hate it.

My friends are great and they've always loved me working here.

I'm not ashamed of where I work and will tell people if they ask.

InFaDeLiTy39 karma

Please tell me you were working that day, and one that had to handle the transaction.

DildoDeity87 karma

Yes, I was working that day. I also processed the order with them over the phone (unknowingly). It was very, very, very uncomfortable.

SlobBarker10 karma

What did your in-laws say?

DildoDeity49 karma

They are very vanilla and conservative. My boyfriend hadn't seen a tampon until we moved in together.

They said that I was trying to turn my husband into a pervert.

DarkFlounder26 karma

And how's that going? Turning your husband into a pervert?

DildoDeity101 karma

He was already a pervert when I met him ;)

fuckingawes0me43 karma

What are those dildos that you strap on to your face called? I've randomly always wondered...

DildoDeity48 karma

Facial strap ons lol

mikefrommontreal37 karma


DildoDeity24 karma

That's a good one. Different brands call them different names.

the_c00ler_king40 karma

What is your favourite type of pie?

DildoDeity68 karma

Apple ;)

JimmyTorpedo37 karma

How do you dress for work?

I am picturing aviator glasses, mustache, leather vest and ass-less chaps....please verify!

DildoDeity68 karma

Well, I'm a woman, so no mustache.

I wear jeans or dress pants with a nice blouse and comfy shoes.

talwar133 karma

Anyone try to come in and try to return a toy?

DildoDeity97 karma

Yes, I remember it vividly. A man tried to return a blow up bondage chair and it was covered in semen and feces. It was horrifying.

talwar129 karma

Like one of those plastic blow up chairs from thr 90's that would melt if you put it near a fire?

DildoDeity31 karma


Pattoe8925 karma

Out of morbid curiosity, how did this situation resolve?

Also, how much does a product like that even cost?

I need that information...

For a friend.

DildoDeity53 karma

The product wasn't returned, but the customer blew it up and tied it to our sign while we were closed that night. Shit and cum included.

They cost about $75.

enitine32 karma

How many adults can I purchase for $20?

DildoDeity56 karma


TheTussin30 karma

What is your salary? Do you have perks like free toys?

DildoDeity63 karma

I'm at $42,000 a year. Yes, as the manager I get a tester for nearly every toy we have in store. My closet is full of every kind of sex toy you can imagine.

Come_To_r_Polandball17 karma

what's your favourite?

DildoDeity50 karma

My all time favorite toy is my rabbit. It's a rotating and pulsating vibrator with clitoral stimulation.

I'm also a fan of vibrating cockrings.

swareonmemum20 karma

Im really sorry but this made me laugh. If any other redditor said this I wouldn't take them seriously. Ty for the ama!

DildoDeity19 karma

No problem, it's keeping me occupied in between the job interviews I'm doing today.

LazerWang30 karma

What is one of the most asked for products from the group age of 18-22 years of age?

DildoDeity41 karma

Honestly, lube. People that are between 18-24 usually some in to the store looking for a place to start exploring. I suggest a good lube and a cock ring or a mini vibrator to those customers. It's a good starting point.

ThermalSloth88 karma

Excuse my ignorance, but what's the use of a cock ring?

I mean, I like my dick but I'm not going to marry it.

tacobelleeee34 karma

I think you attach it to the base of your penis and it affects the circulation in such a way that it allows you to stay hard for longer. You can also get vibrating ones that are nice for ladies.

DildoDeity22 karma

You got it dude.

Shaeos26 karma

Any awesome stories you want an excuse to share? Let me be the excuse! -sits for story time-

DildoDeity99 karma

About two months ago, one of my employees called me in a panic that there was a man in the DVD section with his penis out. I rushed over as fast as I could and when I got there he was full blown jackin it. I went over and tapped him on the shoulder and informed him that he needed to leave, that I had his license plate, description and was calling the police. He turned around and came on the floor right in front of me.

CrumbTech77 karma

Clean up on aisle 2

DildoDeity36 karma

Ugh, that was disgusting.

ShawnWxD26 karma

What is the most unusual problem a customer has had with a product?

DildoDeity51 karma

I had a lady call and ask us how to remove kegel balls. She had used a vaginal tightening cream just before she inserted the balls and they got stuck. She came in the next day and told us she had to go to the hospital to have them removed.

I_Hate_30 karma

Vaginal tightening cream?

DildoDeity40 karma

There sure is. My favorite is called "liquid virgin"

I_Hate_9 karma

Does it work?

DildoDeity14 karma

Yeah, for the most part.

InFaDeLiTy6 karma

Theres vag tightening cream?

DildoDeity17 karma

Oh yes, and penis thickening cream, too!

sithrebel159 karma


DildoDeity11 karma

Yes, I like them.

tacobelleeee26 karma

Do you have any crazy/eccentric regulars?

DildoDeity48 karma

Yeah, a few older men that buy about $200 worth of movies every week.

iamb3comedeath69 karma

I'm guessing that they're so old that they don't know about the internet?

DildoDeity57 karma


afrobeast24 karma

For couples trying to "spice up" their relationship what are you go to things?

Also most amount of money spent at one time by a customer?

DildoDeity37 karma

Flavored lube, lingerie, a good vibrating cockring and a nice massage oil!

Last year we had a guy buy about $2700 worth of stuff. Lots of lingerie and bondage stuff. I think it was about $1200 on lingerie and the rest on a bunch of bondage type things and out most expensive vibrator ($275).

KlfJoat4 karma

So you don't stock the Sybian, I see.

DildoDeity6 karma

Oh man, those things are nuts. They obliterate your vagina.

Orbital-NZ22 karma

Do you ever have couples playing out Sub/Dom roles while browsing?

For example making the "sub" ask humiliating questions?

DildoDeity33 karma

Yes, absolutely. It's entertaining.

Astralwinks21 karma

My friend has worked at a number of shops (in the same company). They always have pepper spray behind the counter. Seems like that would be the case at every store. Have you ever had really aggressive customers? Any interesting stories there?

Also, what percentage of people cannot comprehend the "no returns on anything ever" rule? It's my friend's biggest complaint.

DildoDeity28 karma

I've had a few customers touch my bum and I just politely ask them to not do that ever again, to anyone.

I have a cordless panic button, mace and a small gun in the safe.

We don't get robbed during our hours of operation, just after we close.

zwind22 karma

What's it like being robbed? I picture it as "Gimmie a free dildo or I will blow your head off"

DildoDeity24 karma

I've been robbed once at kinfe point. It was really scary, they took money and an expensive vibrator.

dasautomobil19 karma

Do you sell this sextoy for females named Womanizer? Our Hitachi knock off broke down and we are looking for a replacement. We either buy a new Hitachi knock off or maybe try something new. I'm hesitent to blow so much money away on a sex toy. What do you think?

DildoDeity18 karma

We sell that toy, worth every damn penny.

throwawaymustache18 karma

How often do you see men buying prostate massagers? Is it normal to see it?

DildoDeity23 karma

Daily. It's very normal.

throwawaymustache10 karma

Which one is most recommend?

DildoDeity20 karma

The one we sell the most of is made of a softer silicone. It's about 6 inches long.

nosferatu101118 karma

My gf and I are looking into trying anal. What's something we could buy that would ease things along with her. She's kind of terrified because.... im rather well endowed.

Also is there anything that eliminates a gag reflex??

DildoDeity65 karma

First of all, congrats on your giant dick.

Second, when I have couples come in looking to start anal I always suggest an anal lubricant/desensitizer and a small plug.

Use the lube and the small plug to build up a tolerance for her and when she's used to that, start with just the tip of your penis. Go slow, because if you hurt her, she probably won't want to do it anymore. Let her really get used to the size of your penis before you go balls deep.

Yes, oral sex gel. Go to your local sex shop and ask for numbing oral sex gel.

Jaredmendez16 karma

Do you ever get laid because of this job?

DildoDeity81 karma

Well, I'm married and I was dating my husband when I started working here. So, yes, I get laid constantly.

ppickly16 karma

Do you have an arcade?.....if so what is the strangest shit youve seen

DildoDeity58 karma

An acrade? Do you mean a review site? Yes, we do.

As far as some weird shit, man, there are so many.

My favorite one was a mother coming in with her 16 year old son wanting to buy him a fleshlight. I had to kick the kid out. The mother was mad saying that it was okay because she said it was. Unfortunately, mothers are not law makers. That was pretty weird.

bolognahead54 karma

Did the son have broken arms?

DildoDeity78 karma

No, but according to the mother, he was caught three times using melons and other food objects to masturbate.

tzenrick65 karma

So, she was trying to get him a fleshlight to save money on groceries. I suppose that works.

DildoDeity40 karma

Essentially, it was a justified purchase. A good mom, too. She bought him one of the realistic ones. It was a penthouse one.

TheFilthiestCorndog47 karma

Good God, every time i pulled that thing out i wouldn't be able to stop thinking about my mom handing it to me with a smile.

DildoDeity18 karma

Good point.

tzenrick12 karma

She sounds like supermom.

DildoDeity27 karma

Yeah, I told her that she was the coolest mom ever.

mortiferus14 karma

I don't understand (I am European), is it illegal for 16 year olds to go into the sex shop? Is that just a shop regulation or state/federal thing? Weird.

DildoDeity23 karma

I can't let anyone under 18 in the store. It's a federal/state law.

orrazib913 karma

Has a brony showed up in your store?

If they did are they worse or better than furries?

DildoDeity22 karma

I've had a few bronies. They are an interesting breed.

Less annoying than furries.

500lb13 karma

What's the most common demographic? Least common?

DildoDeity26 karma

For DVDs and magazines - older gentlemen For everything else - couples (usually hetero male/female) from ages 25-50

marcoacruz12 karma

When you first started the job, did you ever think about leaving because it's an adult store?

DildoDeity17 karma

Before I was comfortable suggesting products, yes.

space_cadet1312 karma

With Valentine's Day coming up what would you suggest getting my boyfriend? For a little bit of background we've been dating for 3 years and are in our mid twenties. Thanks!

DildoDeity36 karma

I'm assuming that you're both fairly comfortable with each other on a sexual level.

If you're not very kinky, an edible warming massage oil or flavored lube. Maybe some light bondage stuff (fuzzy handcuffs or bondage tape).

If you're kinky, get a realistic looking vibrator. Something a little bigger (maybe 8 inches). Let him use it on you. Guys have this weird thing about putting big things in their ladies.

KING1234567814 karma

Guys have this weird thing about putting big things in their ladies.


DildoDeity6 karma

It's true!

DildoDeity5 karma

It's true. I stand by that 100%

DildoDeity4 karma

It's true. I stand by that 100% no question.

space_cadet137 karma

Thanks for responding :) love these suggestions!

DildoDeity8 karma

No problem. I love giving suggestions!

wommbat11 karma


DildoDeity30 karma

Do you mean DVDs? I don't get how we're still selling DVDs either. We usually sell them to older customers who probably don't know how to use the internet.

tzenrick26 karma

Just put a big banner by the DVD's that say something along the lines of "These don't need to buffer." That should pick up sales a touch.

DildoDeity20 karma

We have about 20,000 dvds.

And a rental section, too.

tzenrick39 karma

A reallllly big banner then.

DildoDeity22 karma

That made me spit out my coffee lol

moreintouch11 karma

If you have to choose one, what describes your average customer and why? 1. Creepy/Awkward 2. Shy/reserved 3. Giggly/Playful 4. Serious/all business

DildoDeity10 karma

Between 3 and 4.

igame2much10 karma

Other than lube, what would you recommend a young couple buy?

DildoDeity16 karma

A remote controlled bullet. A good beginners toy.

Ross_is_Sauce10 karma

How has working in a sex shop changed your relationship? You mentioned you're married now and were dating your husband when you started. Did you guys have just a normal sex life before hand and did working there bring a whole new ballgame to the bedroom? Or have you always been on the curious open minded side with sexuality?

DildoDeity17 karma

Well, we get to try out a lot of stuff. It's fun and new. Sex is never boring. I feel like we know each other really well because of all the different things we've tried.

At first, we were just a normal couple, with normal sex.

DrWinters7 karma

Tits or ass?

(Sure, you can say both.)

DildoDeity29 karma

ASS! Love me a nice ass.

genericname12316 karma

Does your store stock fetish paraphernalia?

BD/SM and other more taboo subjects?

DildoDeity10 karma

Yes. We have a lot of bondage and bsdm products. They sell very well. Especially since the whole 50 Shades stuff.

We sell a lot of ball gags at my store.

oreesama6 karma

in what state is your store in? i might need a new job lol

DildoDeity13 karma

CA baby!

LilTardisBitch696 karma

What would you suggest for a female as a first toy? Its always been hard for me to masturbate and am thinking a vibrator/bullet would help with this, but have heard some are just too powerful for first time users.

DildoDeity5 karma

A bullet is a great starting toy, you can control the vibration!

_Joxer_5 karma

How large is this store?

DildoDeity7 karma

Quite large. The biggest one in my city.

500lb5 karma

What's the return policy? Has anyone given any strange stories/reasons they want to return something?

DildoDeity7 karma

No returns on any merch. Except for DVDs that do not work. People don't usually try to return anything. I do have people complain from time to time that they have trouble with our shittier brands of vibrators.

tzenrick4 karma

When people are purchasing your shittier brands, do you let them know, and recommend a better product?

DildoDeity28 karma

Absolutely. I want everyone to have great sex. I don't get commission from upselling or selling certain brands, I just genuinely want everyone to orgasm.

dellrogers4 karma

What do friends and family think of ur job?

DildoDeity5 karma

They don't mind. They think it's fun and interesting. There's always a funny story to tell.

playerhatersgetmad2 karma

Can you recommend any good erotic literature?

DildoDeity12 karma

Depends on what you're interested in.

I sell a lot of incest based literature.

orrazib91 karma

What makes furries the worst? (Cause they are)

Edit: corrected curries to furries

DildoDeity1 karma

Furries. Well, they just (typically) have a very specific vision. It's just difficult to help them find EXACTLY what they want.