Kyle Kinane! Right now, I'm paying a toll on the highway. AMA!

Do you win @midnight by reading reddit all day long?

I've been on reddit one other time, to look at cat pictures.

That is the answer to that. No offense!

Do you wanna come over and do a jigsaw puzzle and watch Netflix?

Sure.

I need to know what the jigsaw puzzle is first.

Is that pancake story true? It's my favorite one that you tell.

It's true. And a bird shit on me the same day.

Can you PLEASE record the "Toby Keith's I Love This Bar and Grill" bit on an album? It brings me such incredible joy.

Uh...It may show up in the future.

I will try.

Kyle, I saw you do stand-up in a tiny loft space at Steady Sounds Records in Richmond, VA and it was the best stand-up set I've ever been present for. What's the weirdest/most fun place you've ever done a show?

Most fun place I've ever done a show...

Oh shit, we're going by WWE headquarters right now!

It's just an office building, oh look, kinda lackluster, hahah...there's nothing here, and there's an office building... it could be the Herbalife building, but it's WWE... that was fun.

Where's the most fun place I've done standup at? There's so many odd venues coming up...

Shane, where's the most fun place you've done standup at?

Shane: Most fun?

Standup's everywhere right now, so I don't know how to pick it.

Do you think Twitter makes comedy easier, or more difficult? Has it changed your process at all? It kind of has its own format for comedians and to me, it seems separate from live/stand-up shows, but I would love to hear your thoughts on how it has affected your career if at all. Looking forward to watching the special!

It's good for some absurd one-liners. But... my act onstage and what i write on twitter are wildly different.

Hey Kyle!

Do you have any beard trimming tips?

No. It's a beard. It's not a craft project.

Kyle, did you do a CC commercial for your own special?

I did. It should be airing right now. And it's on the web.

has there been any serious discussion on the Red Lobster Facebook page since Michael Jackson died?

I don't know. You'll have to visit for yourself. I haven't been back to it.

I'm seeing you tonight at the Outer Space! I'll be the white guy with the beard. Do you need a place to crash?

Uh... thank you, but no. I'm heading back to New York afterwards. But I appreciate it.

Do hipsters in Brooklyn pay you a finders fee for their beards? If so, what is payment made in? (Angst, craft beer or something else?)

Uh... this look is the end of America as an intellectual superpower.

What is your go to meal at Portillos?

Oh, I appreciate that you pronounced it in the Spanish form. That's nice of you. Portillos!

Jumbo dog with everything and a chili-cheese dog.With a chocolate cake-shake. They put a piece of cake in the shake. Yeah.

Hey Kyle, big fan. Don't hold it against me but I am Canadian. I was looking forward to seeing you at Sled Island 2014 last year in Calgary until they didn't let you in to Canada. I promise you we are not all massive dicks and I just wanted to apologize for the shit you went through trying to get into Canada. Question I have is what was your favourite album (punk or otherwise) of 2014?

Well, that's on me, I'm the one who got the DUI, I'm the one who fucked up.

And I would say my favorite album of 2014... I mean, the new Sturgill Simpsons album is real good. That's what started playing in the background. I've been listening to that lately.

What's the most embarrassing moment you've experienced in your life as an actor/entertainer? Thanks for your time :)

Is there... Johnny Cash playing?

Are you hearing Johnny Cash?

Hold on, I think my phone typed something, hold on...

Is there some iTunes on?

Oof. My whole act is based on every mistake and embarrassment I've made. I don't know.

Would you impregnate a bearded lady for science?

Not for science, but for pleasure.

Whose your favorite comedian?

My favorite comedian isn't really a comedian, but there was a guy, when I went to high school, who would fart in class and then just say the word "Grabowski" afterwards. And I've never experienced more people laughing at something they didn't understand than that kid.

And it made no sense but even teachers would laugh at it.

And I thought he was the best comedian. He made it his audience by doing that, and that impressed me, still to this day.

I know you're into punk music, or were at some point. What are some of your favorite punk bands?

Pegboy is always good.

Why is comedy important?

Shane says it's the only thing he's good at. I disagree. I don't think Shane is very good at it.

DISCLAIMER: Shane Torres, Kyle's traveling companion, will be assisting Kyle with answering some of these questions.

Hey Kyle, I just finished the grantland story about you. I'm curious, what type of trimming device do you use to sculpt that delicious beard you have? And do you also use it on your nether regions or are you some noble who turns his nose up at people that don't mind mixing the surf and turf when it comes to trimming?

Yeah, I clean it all up once a month, the way a teenager mows his parent's lawn.

Fast and messy, but I get the job done.

Do you feel badly for other comedians when they have repeated jokes blatantly cut out of @midnight, like Pete Holmes did recently?

No, I don't feel bad, that's the business. If they put on the whole hour of us talking shit on @Midnight, it wouldn't be a show, it would be a bunch of comedians being dingalings up there. That's the nature of television.

I was once staying at a hotel in Philadelphia when I noticed you running on a treadmill through some glass. How weird would it have been if I stopped you mid run to say hello?

That's not weird. I would've just said "Hello" back.

What's your go-to Domino's order?

Dominos... I'll switch it up. Sometimes the sandwiches are okay. For real.

Hi Kyle, I love it when you go on rants about old school BMX and Skateboarding stuff. What was your favorite era of those activities, and do you still do either of them? Is there a shadow cabal of comedy skateboarders in Los Angeles?

Also, I have lived in Illinois my whole life, do you actually miss anything about no longer living here?

I don't ride BMX, but I mountain bike. My favorite era was late 80's team Haro. There are, yeah. The PowerViolence guys skate. And DJ Douggpound. AND Sean Jordan. But he lives in Portland. But he's a skateboarder.

That's an oddly worded sentence.

Yeah... my family and friends are all there!

And hot dogs.

The Tom Brady press conference is on right now. Any thought on deflategate/the resurgence of French Toast Crunch?

Tom Brady, to the best of my knowledge, is a football player.

And I didn't know French Toast Crunch existed.

Until it came back.

So...

Do you prefer performing in comedy clubs vs. other venues like small rock clubs like last night at The Saint? (Great set btw!)

I enjoy rock clubs, but it all depends on the attitude of the audience.

What is your favorite beer?

FREE!

If you had the chance to work with one of these ladies who would you pick - Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig or Tina Fey? -- Make the choice!!

Ummmm... the chance to work with them... oof... I think I'm more aware of Tina Fey's writing with WEEKEND UPDATE, I think I'm more aware of her work, than the other two. But I don't think I could even make that choice. They're all fantastic. I don't think I could make that choice right now.

Hey Whiskey Icarus! Just wanted to let you know that I can't eat Twizzlers the same way any more. Saw you a few years ago, and I've never laughed harder.

What was your most surreal "I guess I made it" story?

Quitting my day job, and paying off my student loans.

What's the reason behind you using the same track titles for your specials that are used on rock albums? Is it a general appreciation of badass rock and roll?

Nah, just being goofy.

Paying a toll? You must be home.

Nope! Connecticut. Are we in Connecticut? Yeah we are, because that's where WWE is.

I bought your special, but I used PayPal. Did you have to pay the fee, or did Comedy Central? I need to know how bad to feel about this.

I have no idea. But thanks for buying it. I barely know what this AMA is. I don't know how the rest of the internet works either.

Where do you stand on craft vs. domestic beer? Have a favorite beer?

Craft beer is like jazz. I know it's good to some people, but I don't get it.

Do you put Syrup on the chicken when you eat Chicken and Waffles?

I dip it. Sure.

What's your favorite soft drink?

Oh, I like Squirt.

Want to get hammered and take a cab to Wendy's for some nuggets?

MMm. did it already.

Hey Kyle, from one Kiss fan to another, which phase do you like better? Makeup or no-makeup?

Looking forward to picking up the new album, man.

Thanks!

Um... I wouldn't say I'm a KISS fan, first and foremost. I just stole their song titles for my album.

But obviously, makeup.

I can't wait to watch the new special and I love when you go on drunken tweet binges.
My question is, besides the Pace Picante salsa, have you gotten any other freebies lately?

I got toilet paper from Charmin. I got some hot sauce from the band The Sword. And I got a free t-shirt from... oh goddamnit... SuperDawg in Chicago.

What's the last album/song you purchased or downloaded?

Well, I've been listening to the Simpson album lately. I've been listening to Hard Girls a lot lately.

How has DJ Steve been treating you lately?

Fine. Playing new iTunes jams.

Hey Kyle! Love your stand-up. Take this question how you'd like. Do you ever "Kick it Old School"? And if so, what do you end up doing?

I think that's all I do. Is "Kick it Old School."

That's all I do most times.

What should I eat right now?

Whatever's going to expire first in the fridge.

Hey, thanks for doing an AMA! So is your old stuff better?

That's a good question. Because it's the name of the special. You got me!

I'll let you decide.

Any plans on coming to Boston?

Yeah, in a few weeks, at the Sinclaire. Not sure when exactly. February 20th.

I saw you open for Norm MacDonald at the Tempe Improv a few years back. My wife and I we're crying from laughing. Just wanted to let you know how awesome you are.

Since I have to have a question: Does Chris Hardwick snort a rail of blow before he steps in front of the camera? I'm pretty sure he does.

Drone-stick-sized-rails.

Cocaine, Should I try it?

I'm not the DEA. Do what you want to do.

Was imitating Pete Holmes weird post joke dance as awkward as it looked on @Midnight?

I mean, that show's made for comics to get together and screw around, so I didn't think anything of it.

Who are you and what makes you funny?

I still don't know the answer to that question.