I am a trans man with a functioning penis, balls, and vagina. AMA!

Have you ever tried to have a vaginal, anal, and an orgasm with your penis all at the same time?

Nope, but it just became my new longterm life goal.

You mentioned you're a bottom. When you have sex with a guy, even though he's obviously gay as well, do they usually prefer your ass or your vagina?

Some guys actually want to try it in the front hole just because they've never done it before and it's a new experience. It's like, any old gay guy has an ass but I'm special. On my end, it's obviously more convenient to do it in the front in terms of prep but also I can't take it as much. I can take bigger dicks for longer in my ass. Which is like the opposite of most women as I understand.

Do you finger yourself and masturbate at the same time?

I wish I could, but I need one hand for the mouse!

Edit: Thanks for the gold! By the way, I typed all my replies with 2 hands.

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How old were you when you realized that your assigned gender didn't mesh with what you were personally feeling? Has your family been supportive?

I was 16 when I realized. My family situation has been rocky, as my parents are quite conservative. I was thrown out twice while I was in high school. I tried to have them meet with counsellors and psychiatrists who could explain to them that my feelings are valid, I'm not insane. They were resistant to meeting with a third party. Gradually, at a glacial rate, things improved. After 4 years they began calling me by the right now. After 5 years they began using the right pronouns. Today they still don't use the right pronouns consistently. But it's something.

Do you feel like anyone treats you differently now that you are male?

Absolutely. Being friends with guys is completely different than it was before. There's a sort of instant camaraderie at times if I meet a guy for the first time. Especially so if we have even the slightest thing in common.

I feel like people respect me and take me more seriously. Although this feeling may be related to my increased confidence, not only related to gender perceptions.

One thing that stands out to me is the experience of size. When I lived as a teenage girl I was constantly thinking about my weight. The world is filled with messages from family, friends, and media telling teen girls they need to lose weight and whatnot. I didn't like to admit it, but it was affecting me to some degree. Now, as a guy, I don't hear much of those messages anymore. It's not that they stopped, but I just can't hear them as much because I'm socialized as a guy now. As a guy, it's a nice thing if you're ripped but it's also no big deal if you're average or overweight. It's not considered the main thing about the man, like it is about a woman. I've been basically the same weight all my life since age 12 (120-130 lbs) but as a male I never feel bad about it.

That last paragraph makes it sound like it was something that helped you escape a situation that you were not happy in.

Do you feel if people had treated you differently your entire life/ we had different standards for women that you would have still made the same choices?

Weight/appearance was not central to my decision to transition. To me, the benefits of being a man in this sense are just side effects.

Do you feel if people had treated you differently your entire life/ we had different standards for women that you would have still made the same choices?

I don't think it would have been different. But, you're asking a pretty broad hypothetical. Differential treatment of men and women really permeates our society. It's like if you asked, if humans had 3 eyes would you still be where you are now? Hard to say.

What you said about how guys have an instant comradery is so true, and I find it absolutely incredible that you are one of the few "discover" that experience. Just experiencing both ends of the social spectrum is mind-blowing to me. But isn't it fucking cool how guys can bond over the tiniest thing? I wish it were that easy for most guys to bond with girls that way, but that just ain't how it is.

I guess having lived as both a girl and a guy in your life must really open your eyes and mind as to how different both worlds are. I just think that's really fucking cool.

Keep being awesome, man.

Kristin Schilt did a research study about trans men in the workplace. They have what she calls an "outsider-within" perspective, which your post reminded me of. Video here.

Oh wow, so many questions.
-Are you able to ejaculate?
-Is there a large difference in penal orgasm compared to vaginal?
-Does the vagina get wet when you're aroused?
-When first dating, how is this "issue" addressed?
As a bi-guy, I find this fascinating.
Thanks for the AMA!

Ejaculate - no.

Difference in orgasm - yes, sure. And in general it's pretty well known among women that there's a clitoral orgasm and a vaginal orgasm.

Get wet - yes but not excessively.

Dating - I handle it on a case-by-case basis.

How has the gay community treated you? It's my understanding that the gay community isn't always very welcoming to trans men.

Yeah, a gay person isn't necessarily going to be any more understanding of my transness just because they're gay. And even more, in my experience some gay communities place a lot of emphasis on perfect penises and perfect bodies. But sometimes it's great instead. A while ago I heard about a trans man winning a Mr. Leather contest in one of the big American cities.

Serious question: do you still sit down to pee?

I usually sit down. I can pee standing with the help of a small tool which diverts the stream. I'm too lazy to use it most of the time.

When dating, at what point do you bring up your transition?

I'm impressed by your photos, it's so cool that we live in a world where that kind of physical transformation is possible.

In the past I've mostly dated people who already knew I was trans, whether through mutual friends or something. But as my life goes on, fewer and fewer people in my life know that I'm trans. Because all the new people I meet do not know. I try to disclose my trans status before things get serious. Before we are officially dating. This gives them time to understand it, or if they're gonna be jerks about it, then I don't need to waste my time.

Alternatively, I can go on a hookup site and just write it in my profile so all applicants can see it and self-select.

What's the typical reaction so seeing that?

Well, I've only had this configuration for a few months so not many people have seen in yet. Do you mean like if someone were to see it in the change room, or in a sexual context? Many guys who have had similar surgeries told me that in locker rooms nobody is really looking, and if they do notice they will still never comment on it.

Well are you afraid of others' judgement?

Nah, I'm fine if people see I have a small dick. As long as they know I have one.

Edit: Thank you! I'm thrilled that my small dick is gold-worthy.

Honestly, as a dude with a fairly large dick when aroused, I look pretty similar to you when flaccid. I wouldn't think twice if I saw that in the locker room.

That's uplifting!

We're at 700+ comments and I don't know if you will see this, BUT I am currently a medical student so I'm wondering, what kind of doctor did your surgery? What was the initial conversation about transition like? Was it supportive, awkward, judgemental? How would you have liked to be treated differently? If I met a patient in your position what should I do / how should I react?

You're very brave for posting this, kudos to you :). Would love input from any trans here.

A doctor who is trained as a plastic surgeon did my surgery. Generally to become a surgeon for trans procedures you need to be trained by some by a surgeon who already does them. This means it's a small club. Lots of the surgeons are trained in plastic surgery, but some come from urology or even gynecology.

If you meet a patient who is trans or you even suspect they might be due to mis-matching identification documents and appearance: before you do anything, ask what name and pronouns they prefer to be called by. Then have a talk and try not to be judgmental. Do you have any part of your program about LGBTQ health?

If you get a patient who wants you to help them start their transition, here are two guides: 1, 2.

Have you ever pissed on your own balls?

Haha, all the time during the first weeks post-op. It happens just occasionally now. I'm hoping that over time my balls will start to hang a bit lower and out of the way of my pee stream.

What's it like having these testicular implants? How is it different from a born biological male?

They're made of silicone and supposed to be unbreakable. I'll see how they stand up to bike riding. They're different from actual testicles because they don't hurt when they get hit. But it's still irritating when they get stretch some way or when they sweat.

Do you have nerve endings there? If you were to get kicked in the nuts do you feel major pain?

Nerves only on the skin. I can feel on the skin surface if my balls are touched. But I wouldn't feel major pain if kicked.

what was it like when you were in school? were you bullied?

I had it pretty easy. Only a few times someone spoke disrespectfully to my face. But I was definitely outcast. I would go out to the woods behind the school to take a piss because I might have gotten in trouble if I were seen going into whichever restroom.

Which feels better: getting ate out or a blow job? And is the answer different if we're talking regular sex?

Blowjob, no contest. As I understand "eating out" primarily refers to stimulating the clitoris anyway, right? It's the equivalent of a blowjob.

When you say you were female-assigned at birth do you mean you were born with ambiguous genitalia like some women with CAH or do you mean you were born looking normal so that when you decided to transition it took your parents by surprise?

I wasn't born with any ambiguity. It took my parents by surprise.

How are your balls functioning balls?

They aren't functional. That's my poor phrasing in the title. But at least I can't get testicular cancer!

Your reddit name is /u/mightybite. Who is /u/xsucji in the picture?

It was the captcha, by mistake. All my throwaways are named after the captchas. Edit: (NSFW)

I'm a transman, and I'm not looking to get surgery to have 'male' organs, but i'm having trouble being accepted into the trans community. Part of it is that i still look female despite chestbinding and wearing men's clothing. My main problem is I need to 'play straight' for my family. Any advice on how i can still identify as male while being made up?

On "playing straight", some people find it helpful to pretend they're an undercover agent or something. So it's your mission to present as female in a certain situation, but you know that you are actually male.

I have a few questions, first of all, are there any more operations to come? Also, I understand /u/sortaplainnonjane already asked about family, but how did social groups like friends and acquaintances respond?

Also: Now that your a man, do you feel anything is different for jobs and the like? Do you find it easier or harder to get employed in comparison to either transitioning or when you were still a "woman" so to speak?

No more surgeries. I have a few old friends I'm close with, but other than that I have tended toward a "clean break". This means I have a lot of good friends who have no idea I'm trans. The old friends, however, have been great and supportive. I owe a lot to the support of my friends because my parents were not always on board.

I don't have any way to compare employment. I was only 16 when I began transition and I'm still only beginning to enter the workforce.

What do you think about the lack of trans man representation in the media?

If trans men become more visible in the media, it will help advance trans rights. Much of the general public still thinks of us as freaks or perverts, not people. Some specific areas in need of change are healthcare/insurance coverage and employment discrimination. Maybe visibility will even help some people realize sooner that this is who they are. Personally, I had no idea that female-to-male transition was even possible while I was growing up. You only ever hear of male-to-female. When I learned of the possibility it just clicked, and I finally knew what as wrong with me and I knew what I had to do.

If you are attracted to men why not remain "female-assigned"?

You, uh... You know men can be attracted to other men, right?

Sure, and I have no problem with it. I was just thinking that if I were born with the equipment of both sexes and was attracted to men, I would chose to be female; and was wonder what his reasons were.

Yeah, it's obviously easier to date and have sex with men if you're a female as opposed to a trans male. But I didn't want to be a female at all. It didn't feel right. And life is much more than dating and sex - you're your own person and in the end you have to live with yourself. So I chose to live as a male.

He wasn't born with both sets of genitals. Reread the post.

Ok, sorry, was confused by the term "female assigned". I took that to mean he was born "hermaphrodite" and his parents / the doctor assigned him as a woman. Not that he was simply born a female. So he was saying that he was a female that likes to have sex with guys and now he's a half female/half male and likes to have sex with guys. Is being a "bottom" a term for being the masochist in a BDSM relationship? I'm not trying to be mean but it seems this guy has some emotional / mental issues, and I have a hard time believing a medical doctor would mutilate his clit and alter his endocrine system with exogenous male hormone. But what the hell, it's his body, and it takes all kinds of people to make up the world.

and now he's a half female/half male

Nope, I'm just a male. It's your feelings, not your anatomy, that determines whether you're a male or female. If you were in a car accident tomorrow and your penis had to be amputated, you wouldn't just stop being a male, would you? (If you are a female, imagine a similar situation)

Is being a "bottom" a term for being the masochist in a BDSM relationship?

A "bottom" is the one in a gay male pairing that receives penetration.