Not too long ago in a state not too far away, but mostly forgotten, I was arrested, tried, and convicted of child molestation. The charges were false, the proof nonexistent, but that didn't seem to matter to the Assistant DAs that were assigned to my case.

The story starts a few years back: It's very long and if it didn't happen to me, almost unbelievable story of lies, theft, overzealous county workers, and betrayal. I swear it would make a great "Lifetime" movie...

All of my troubles started after I found out my (now ex) wife was having ANOTHER affair and stealing money from my bank and credit accounts. I confronted her and after a lot of argument I told her that I wanted a divorce and custody of my son. The next day She starts laughing and saying that my stepdaughter said I had abused her (which was a lie) and that she would be calling the police.
Because MS would have allowed me to sue for denial of affection, and that I had a very good case in which I could not only keep most of my assets (most of which I had long before I married the woman) but also likely get custody of my son and make her pay me child support, she played the trump card that so many do now a days. She called the police and said I did things to my step daughter that I didn't do and got her to relay some of the information to the police as well (however almost none of it matched nor was it consistent, but the ADA didn't care)

Yeah, so my saga started off with my first attorney. He seemed like a decent lawyer and all, but right after I gave him my last payment he tells me that he took a Federal Public defenders position and had to recuse himself from my case. Yay! However, he tells me not to worry because he hired a "really good" attorney (second attorney or Attorney #2) who had tried cases like mine many times and will do really well with my "open and shut case".

Long story short, attorney #2 tells me not to worry and that he's going to hire experts to refute the claims made by my stepdaughter and my ex-wife and have several of my long term friends testify for me and against my ex in court. I give #2 copious amounts of financial and phone records to show that my ex was cheating and having multiple affairs, I also give him copious amounts of text messages where my ex was sending me pictures of my stepdaughter (unsolicited BTW) and conversations showing that she obviously knows the allegations are false.

Fast forward to the trial and the first day Attorney #2 tells the court that our expert is going to show up the next day and that I have several witnesses to testify on my behalf. The prosecutor objects because she apparently never received warning that we would have an expert (she knew I had experts and witnesses because Attorney #2 told her in front of me well before the trial, but Attorney #2 never put it in writing). Regardless the Judge says we can discuss the expert situation when they go over the guys experience before allowing him to testify as an expert. After the trial starts Attorney #2 essentially quits leaving the guy who was supposed to just "help" as second chair to try the case. The only problem is that I never talked to this guy about the case and he was flying blind. When we tried to enter my evidence the prosecutor objects because Attorney #2 never turned in any of my information during discovery. So, in essence this guy never did any of his pre-trial work and we had no proof to back up any of my claims. When the prosecution rests I know I'm in trouble because we couldn't refute any of the lies they were saying because I had no proof or evidence. The next day when the defense is supposed to take the stand I find out that my expert never showed up, even though I had paid Attorney #2 for him, and that there wasn't going to be anyone other than myself to testify on my behalf. FUN!

With no evidence on my side it was all a “he said she said” situation. The prosecutor did well in making me out to be a bad guy because I made good money but wouldn't go see my son (even though she was the one who put a no contact order on me for most of the pretrial time) and that my ex wouldn't agree to the visitation since she had moved out of the state after the start of the whole mess. She also made it out to sound like I never gave my ex money for support, which was a lie as I was giving her over $1200 a month and paying most of her bills to support her and my son, but I couldn't prove it because none of my financial records were allow in as evidence. Anyhow, long story short, with no evidence, no witnesses, and no expert of my side it only took the Jury 4 hours to deliberate and find me guilty.

After the trial I found out that Attorney #2 had never paid my "expert" and that was why the guy never showed up. So not only did he lie to me but also lied to the court saying that I had an expert, which he knew I didn't since he took my money but never paid the guy.

Once I found this out I immediately fired Attorney #2 and found two good attorneys who I nicknamed “The Wonder Twins”. I had to essentially sell everything I owned and borrowed money from friends and family to pay "The Wonder Twins". With their help we were able to place a motion for retrial. This motion normally happens within a few weeks after trial but because the prosecutor knew that we had enough evidence to say my first trial wasn't fair after we had a 6 month continuance on our side they delayed the hearing for another year. So, after 1.5 years I got back into court and was able to start proving that Attorney #2 was infective. However, we never finished the whole brief. One reason was that even if the Judge were to grant me a new trial I would have to stay locked up for another year at minimum waiting for my new trial to start. The prosecution wasn't about to admit that my ex wife fooled them so they kept offering me plea deals to stop everything from moving forward. I denied them until they came to one that dropped the nasty sex charge and let me out immediately. In essence I took a plea for a lesser charge with time served and they let me out. So, yeah, I am a convicted felon now, but I don't have to register or do probation like I would have with the other charge and I get to avoid another trial. (The felony is going to make finding a job a lot harder but again, I got to come home and get out of prison).
I did find it very ironic that I had to lie under oath and say I committed a crime that I didn't do to keep the prosecution from pressing charges on another crime I didn't do.
Next week I am pressing felony embezzlement charges on Attorney #2 and plan to push it through. I have plenty of proof to show he lied to me and to the court about my expert along with many other things. I also plan to do several bar complaints again him and I'm going to try the same with the ADA since she knowing lied during my trial and pressed the case forward after receiving proof that it was not true. I seriously doubt my complaints about the ADAs will go anywhere. I'm also going to start the long process of trying to get custody of my son (if he even turns out to be mine after a DNA test), which I haven't seen since he was 6 months old.

So, that's the very short version of everything. I am leaving A LOT of stuff out since it's too much to put into this AMA.

TL;DR: My ex lied to the police to keep from losing custody and all the assets she had stolen from me in a divorce. I got shammed by a crooked attorney who stole my money and didn't even do cross during my trial and "forgot" to submit any of my evidence. I hire new lawyers, take it all back to court and I win to some extent. Instead of spending 15 years mandatory time I got out in 17 months. I’m and ex-con but at least I don’t have to register as a sex offender.

Edit #1 Here are the links to a few of my legal docs.

http://imgur.com/VIrUZUQ

http://imgur.com/D04Jn8S

http://imgur.com/9D89m0t

edit #2 I'm not from MS. I'm from the Midwest and moved to "The South" for work in early 2009 after I lost my job in the Midwest to the great recession in 2008.

Edit/update #3 Since a few people asked where I was housed at: I was a guest at EMCF, East Mississippi Correctional facility. Here is a nifty little article in NYT about the place I called home for 17 months.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/08/us/seeing-squalor-and-unconcern-in-southern-jail.html

Update #4 Wow, Reddit gold! Now if I can just figure out what the heck that is I'll be set. :-)

Update #5 Image links now updated.

Update #6 Ok gang, I don't think I have to say it but I want to make it clear. I have no desire to cause harm to my ex or her family. If you figure out who I am or who my ex are please, please, don't do anything stupid.

Update #7 Ive been going at this for quite some time now and stayed up all night. I'm hardly able to keep my eyes open so I am heading to bed. I will try to respond more tomorrow.

Update #8

I deleted the account. Please see update #10 Ok, after a lot of people asking I set up a Gofundme account to receive donations for my legal fees associated with my legal defense, to help prosecute the corrupt attorney who stole my money, and to seek custody of my son and possibly sue my ex wife. Any left over money will be donated to charities who aid victims of child abuse.

Update #9 The vast majority of the people I have met in Mississippi are good honest people who get a fairly bad wrap in the media when it comes to their state. I should not have tried to bash the whole state in my comments as I do have many friends here and it's a lovely place to live. If it wasn't for my experience with the legal system I would be very happy here. I apologize to all Mississippi residents, current, former or future for my harsh words and generalization of your state. Please forgive me.

Update #10

OK gang, I deleted my Gofundme account. Anyone who donated should receive their money back. Please contact Gofundme if you have not.

I didn't make the post for money. I wrote the post because I hoped telling my side of the story would be therapeutic. It's been fun and very frustrating at the same time, however once money was involved things moved to a whole new level. Even though I could certainly use the extra cash I would much rather not deal with the BS surrounding it. For those of you who did pledge money, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your compassion.

Update #11 Some clarification. I stated earlier that I could have sued my ex for "denial of affection", that was incorrect. It's call "Alienation of Affection".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alienation_of_affections

Comments: 4411 • Responses: 79  • Date: 

Aegent2137 karma

I feel that a news station or some documentary filmmaker would be very interested in producing this this - ever thought about doing that?

A wrongful imprisonment of this caliber (especially something as incendiary as being forced to lie under oath to gain your rightful freedom) could go viral, and may put a lot of pressure on the the state if public opinion becomes a factor.

*edit a word

arrested_in_MS1335 karma

I thought about it... but I can't do anything until all of my legal challenges are over with. When you bring the media into it during your court action the prosecution usually close down and go even harder no matter the evidence.

At least that's what me new attorney says. She was an ADA for over 10 years before she became a judge and eventually started doing criminal defense. So, I try to take her advice.

I really wanted to go to the media because it seems things similar to this seem to happen in my county. The ADA will move forward with charges with almost no proof. Or no proof as with my case.

I personally thing it would make a great made for Lifetime movie. LOL

Eclectophile730 karma

You keep laughing when you say this, but you should seriously consider writing a book. Some publisher would eat this up.

arrested_in_MS687 karma

I hate writing... I can do a bazillion TPS reports without a problem, but anything that has to be entertaining is beyond me.

corey561994 karma

How did you pass the time in prison?

arrested_in_MS1790 karma

I read a lot! I also helped others with their legal work. In MS I would say about 10 to 20% of the inmates are functionally illiterate. I spent a lot of time reading documents to others and helping them write their families and friends.

Hazachu1573 karma

Andy is that you?

arrested_in_MS1061 karma

Steve?

Peniswrinkleintime347 karma

They don't play games in prison when your accused of touching a child did you do your time in the general population or were you secluded for your protection?

arrested_in_MS972 karma

I was in general pop.. But again I never told anyone why I was in prison. Many people asked because I am not like your typical inmate. I have an advanced degree, I used to make 6 figures, and I don't have any face tattoos. Just the fact that I was polite but not a coward kept me off most peoples radar.

Tomji282 karma

sometimes the guards leak it, if you make any of them dislike you. You were never even afraid of that?

dudehere1166 karma

It's not the guards who leak info;but, rather the inmates who help process the paperwork.

BostonBlazen145 karma

Or read the newspaper

arrested_in_MS435 karma

The local news or the news paper is usually how people find out. Luckily I slipped though the cracks.

zKITKATz940 karma

Looking back on everything, is there anything that you would have done differently?

arrested_in_MS1908 karma

When I was first accused I told no one. I was embarrassed and didn't know what to do. Because I tried to handle it all my self I made some really stupid decisions, like keeping my crappy attorney even though I knew he probably wasn't very good. I also had a hard time paying for everything my self. I would certainly asked for help from friends and family.
I had an unfortunate situation with a few churches that I tried to go to after being accused and before my trial. I needed spiritual guidance, but when I told the pastors about my problems they ended up asking me not to return. It was that rejection that made me realize that no one was going to believe me until I could "prove" my innocence. Hence, why I never told anyone else.

Trustnodrug299 karma

I was also charged with a crime I did not commit, as a third party to a dirty divorce . My mom was in a relationship with a man who had lost custody of his kids but maintained a visitation with them, son 7, daughter age 9, I met these kids and moms BF for the first time while visiting my mom. So BF only had weekend visitation and had said children at this particular time, I made the best of this and entertained the kids. Fake wrestling with the boy I pick him up in my arms and say I'm going to throw him off the balcony , he takes it serious and punches and kicks until I put him down, runs away and 5 mins later comes out and started playing again, anyway long story short the kids mom called the cops saying I hung her kid over a balcony by his ankles, was charged with criminal negligence. 2 years later all charges dropped at trial after a complete mind fuck all because a women did not want their father to see his kids. People will do fucked up things to get what they want and do not care that other lives may be affected!

arrested_in_MS215 karma

And it's this that scares the shit out of me if I have to share custody with my ex.

americon238 karma

That seems very against the point of religion. I understand the priests wanting to keep the peace but there should be some public shame put out. There supposed to help people and are talking the talk without walking the walk.

arrested_in_MS275 karma

I was devastated but I could also understood to some extent. MS is a very conservative and most of the people have the impression that if you're charged with a crime you must have done something wrong. For the majority of people that is the case too, however it wasn't for me.

The thing that hurt the most was that when I needed help, and when I looked to the church I was thrown out and ostracized. I could understand them not wanting me to be around the children, but to be told to never come back was hard.

TryNstopME024631 karma

Sorry if you brought this up in your bio but did you get any sort of compensation from being in a prison? Did you pursue legal action against the person who put you there?

arrested_in_MS1055 karma

No compensation. Because they used a grand jury to get the indictment there is no recourse for me in MS to go after them. Plus since I ended up taking a plea instead of fighting my conviction for another few years (while being forced to stay in prison for that time) I also lose any ability to seek recompense.

I will be seeking legal action after my ex, but since she lives in another state now it will be all most impossible. I am also going to try to get custody of my son.

I feel sorry for my stepdaughter because it was her mother that manipulated her. I have no ill will towards her, she was to young to understand what she was doing to me.

Ignorantblackkid1030 karma

Sue EVERYBODY

arrested_in_MS947 karma

If I was independently wealthy I would at least do it to tie them down with legal proceedings, but I am now broke and have no assets or money. Heck, I'm borrowing WIFI just to do this AMA. So, no money to pay the lawyers which means no lawsuits.

ReddJudicata531 karma

You may be able to do it on contingency with the right lawyer. Also file an ethics complaint with the state bar about that bad attorney.

arrested_in_MS874 karma

Oh, there will be ethics complaints galore. Both for my old attorney and for the ADAs that kept pushing forward even after they became aware of my innocence. For them it was all about keeping their conviction rate up and not getting a case overturned.

derGraf_275 karma

Don't forget to return the wifi when you're finished to avoid getting charged for wifi theft.

arrested_in_MS259 karma

They know I am using it. I asked beforehand. :-P

rowsdowerzaprowsdowe186 karma

Isn't the fact that you pled guilty to a felony going to hurt your future plans to sue?

arrested_in_MS298 karma

yep, it sure is... But at least I am out of prison and now able to try and sue.

erdberen124 karma

Do you have a relationship with your children after being released?

arrested_in_MS448 karma

I've only been out for 7 days so far. I haven't been able to contact my son or my ex because she changed all of her contact info and moved to another state. I have to hire a PI soon to find her and my son. It sucks because I am completely broke now. Finding a job is my #1 priority so I can pay for the PI and attorneys since I will need to hire at least two, one in Mississippi and one in the state my ex has moved to.

AdoveHither423 karma

Start a kickstarter project to get funding.

arrested_in_MS120 karma

I don't think that complies with kickstarter's TOS

goldstarstickergiver170 karma

I bet if you asked the internet they'd do it for free. But then, that might unleash an unfair beast on the lady. Either way, good luck man, I hope it all turns out okay for you.

Edit: to all of you who are saying she deserves it, I'd agree with you if it was only her that would get affected. She lives with two little kids who would pick up and take on the fear that the mother would get from being harassed constantly, and that is not fair. Not to mention it being unhelpful to op's case and likely to poison the kids against him, since their mother would definitely let them know that the fear was their dad's fault.

arrested_in_MS34 karma

I am sure the internet could do a number. However I don't want that. Even if I hate the woman she is still my son's mother. I want to limit her influence on him, but he would probably resent me if I forced her out of his life completely.

Iam_nameless626 karma

  1. Is your former lawyer being disbarred?
  2. Have you talked to a lawyer for actions you can take against your ex wife?

arrested_in_MS1059 karma

I am pressing criminal charges on my old lawyer. If he is convicted then he will be automatically disbarred.

As for actions against my ex, yeah we have discussed it, but it's going to be very unlikely she will ever see any punishment.

Brianistheman03559 karma

How did they come up with an aggravated assault charge? Was there ever violence in the home? Also, what did your stepdaughter say in court that made a jury believe that sexual assault was possible?

You're one tough SOB to endure all of this. Major props man!

EDIT: Spelling

arrested_in_MS1297 karma

They tried to get me to take several other plea deals but the AA charge was the first one they offered that didn't force me to register as a sex offender for the rest of my life. I didn't want to take it, but after 3 hours of talking to my attorneys and them explaining the odds of me actually beating my charge, so I ended up taking the plea just to get out of prison. I'm not a violent person and have never been in trouble before this mess. There was never any violence in my home.

My stepdaughter just said that I touched her privates, "where pee comes out". The crazy thing was the prosecution used a taped interview where she spoke to a DHS agent and tried to explain exactly what I had supposedly done to her. The agent asked leading questions like "Where did your step dad touch you?" and "did he touch you on your privates?" I found out they are not supposed to ask leading questions as it's more likely to get an incorrect answer from the child. The thing was her story in the video didn't even make sense and changed a few times during the interview. She even asked the DHS agent to "tell my mommy that I did good, because she promised to get me ice-cream if I do good". She also didn't have the right emotional reactions when she was describing some horrible sexual acts, she was also using vocabulary that a 7 year old would never have used to describe things. When kids have been abused they get angry, defensive, and/or cringe when they retell stories of the abuse, However she was happy and excited to tell her story.

NoShameInternets1152 karma

How in the hell did those idiots convict you? I'm getting angry reading all of this. Sorry you had to go through it man. Good luck in the future.

arrested_in_MS1161 karma

All I can say is that it's Mississippi... A lot of people aren't educated and assume if you're on trial you were arrested because you did something wrong.

Edit... OK, I wrote this late in the evening last night. I was angry and tired but I should state this better. Change "a lot of people" to "some people". The vast majority of the people I have met in Mississippi are good people and get a fairly bad wrap in the media when it comes to their state. I should not have tried to bash the whole state in my comment as I do have many friends here. If it wasn't for my experience with the legal system I would be very happy here. I apologize to all Mississippi residents, current, former or future for my harsh words and generalization of your state. Please forgive me.

Chuchubear488 karma

My niece was sexually abused and she could recount things that no (5 years old at the time) could describe. One thing that haunts me to this day is that she said she could remember how painful the fingernails felt inside her. You can't coach a child to say that and I'm really angry that your ex would even fabricate this story. This is why we have so many fucked up kids in this world because of bullshit "cry wolf" stories like hers that invalidates the real ones.

arrested_in_MS266 karma

Holy shit... Making false allegations and prosecuting someone even though knowing they are innocent is what makes it harder to gain convictions for scum that really do need to rot in prison for the rest of their lives.

mjspring111528 karma

How was prison? I mean did other inmates believe you when you said you were innocent?

arrested_in_MS961 karma

I never told anyone what my real conviction was for, but I did tell everyone that I was innocent of the charge that put me in prison. Most of the people in prison end up fessing up to what they did, mostly for bragging rights, so me saying I was innocent was not the norm. Many people said they believed me but I doubt any of them really did.

arrested_in_MS1010 karma

As for how prison really was... Mississippi has the 2nd highest incarceration rate per population in the US. I believe it also has the most underfunded DOC (no proof though). The facilities are discussing and falling apart (2 working toilets out of 14 for 110 people to use in one zone.) The guards are corrupt sociopaths and most of the time they are in the same gangs as the prisoners. The whole system is run by prison gangs and if you're not one of them or buying drugs from them they tend to assume you're snitching on them.
One interesting thing to note, there was surprisingly little forced gay sex. Nothing like the movies.

tgregg91335 karma

Did you end up joining a gang?

arrested_in_MS813 karma

No, I never joined a gang. I was asked several times and had others who hinted that I should try to join, but that lifestyle didn't appeal to me. I was an engineering manager before I got locked up. Going from corporate management to gang thug just didn't do it for me. However, I did befriend a lot of gang members.

MeretrixDeBabylone750 karma

Going from corporate management to gang thug just didn't do it for me.

Sounds like the plot for the next Grand Theft Auto.

Edit:Formatting

arrested_in_MS487 karma

I hope I get royalties then... I need the money!

SFIIakuma272 karma

One interesting thing to note, there was surprisingly little forced gay sex.

Can you please clarify this further? Surprisingly litttle does not mean none.

arrested_in_MS562 karma

No, it doesn't mean none. I never saw it where I was at, but I knew a guy who was suing the state of MS because he was placed in a cell with a known rapist and was then later raped by the guy.

AndersonJake435 karma

Wow. Best of luck with your current situation. Now, when she first told you she would call the police to say you abused her daughter were you surprised or expecting it? I mean, I'm sure you'd expect her to fight dirty, but to go that low? Especially someone you spent years together with?

arrested_in_MS856 karma

Well, I was very surprised. She always played dirty but I never thought she would go as far as she did. However, after my trial my new attorneys dug up information on her and I found out she tried something very similar with her first ex husband (stepdaughters father).

The worst thing about it all was, that even after we were able to prove to the ADA that my ex was lying about so many things they still believed her. Even after we got 3 different PHDs to get on the stand and explain how it's obvious my stepdaughter was coached and not a victim of sexual abuse, they kept moving forward as if I was a menace to society.

schu2470418 karma

How did the judge allow that to continue after so much expert testimony that your ex was lying? Also, how did the jury justify your conviction? That's nuts! I'm sorry this happened to you.

arrested_in_MS1415 karma

The judges exact words (said off the record to my attorney and I wasn't mean to over hear) "I don't think he's guilty, but I can't go against the prosecutor on this." I about vomited right there in the court room. In my opinion the judge and ADA are just as bad as the scum they lock away.

rhein1969317 karma

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I thought the judge could basically pull the plug on trials that are basically bullshit.

arrested_in_MS345 karma

He can, but he has to work with the prosecutors day in and day out. At least that's the excuse my attorney told me. She agreed it was all bull shit and that the guy obviously didn't have the balls to do the right thing. However, in a small county in Mississippi this doesn't surprise me to much.

Gandhi_of_War293 karma

That's the messed up thing about the sex offender tag. Once someone tags you as one it all of a sudden becomes your responsibility to prove your innocence instead of the prosecution proving your guilt. It's messed up.

Just wanted to say that I'm glad you not only got out of prison, but also got that ridiculous "sex offender" tag dropped.

arrested_in_MS454 karma

Yeah, our system is supposed to be "innocent until proven guilt" but for sex offenses, unless you can physically prove you didn't do it, you're likely going to prison. The shitty thing was there was 0 proof I did anything, just the statement from my ex and the disjointed story my stepdaughter told. They never took her to a doctor and never had her examined by a psychologist. They just got her to make the statement and then stopped.

tymiller1218280 karma

As a sex offender, how were you treated in prison, and are sex offenders treated as badly they are said to be?

arrested_in_MS565 karma

Sex offenders are considered the lowest of lows. I never admitted to being a sex offender, and because I kept a low profile no one really questioned me. I was just the white guy who stayed on his bunk and read books all the time.

tymiller1218235 karma

Do you have any idea how you would've been treated?

arrested_in_MS538 karma

Well, a few of the guys who stupidly admitted to being in prison for molesting kids had the living crap beat out of them multiple times. After that everyone leaves them alone but it becomes a very lonely existence.

tymiller1218197 karma

Good thing you kept it covered up then.

arrested_in_MS379 karma

yeah, only a few people who were also in my county jail with me knew what I was in for. And they were all sex offenders too, so we all kept everyone's secrets. (in my county jail the housed all the sex offenders together for their safety.

Frumundurthebus255 karma

You've been through a lot and I'll bet have a lot to tell. Here's a couple jumping off points: 1. Scariest moment in prison. 2. First thing you did when you got out. 3. Who missed you the most when you were inside? Tell us some stories.

arrested_in_MS478 karma

The scariest moment was after I got moved to my permanent housing unit. I had a gang member tell me that he wanted my property, my canteen food, and for me to move out of my cell. I surprised him because I didn't back down and was willing to get my ass kicked to defend myself and my things. If it wasn't for me making a few jokes after we squared off on each other I probably would have been carried out in a stretcher.

When I got out I had my girlfriend pick me up at the bus station and we went to McDonald. It sounds lame but we were both broke, but the dollar menu still tasted like fine steak compared to prison food!

As for other stories I will add some later when the questions slow down.

Doristocrat508 karma

[deleted]

It_Just_Got_Real1105 karma

this is the part where a large % of reddit gets depressed because they're free and not accused sex offenders, and can't get a date.

arrested_in_MS306 karma

This should have more up votes. LOL

arrested_in_MS425 karma

We met online... Didn't start out as romantic but went there quickly. It was after I was arrested but I was out on bond at the time. It took 2 years from my arrest date until my trial date. We started dating about 8 months before my trial. She saw all of the evidence and realized I couldn't have done it. She was an angel and stuck it out with me while I was locked up and actually helped my lawyers gather more evidence about my ex wife's illicit life and getting my case ready to go back to court.

KenweezY83 karma

Dude that chick is one in ten million and you should cherish that relationship

arrested_in_MS64 karma

She is awesome for sure.

oldfezzi175 karma

What jokes did you make while squared off with a prison gang member?

arrested_in_MS531 karma

I went out on a limb and made a few raciest jokes... He thought it was funny for a fat white guy to make jokes like that surrounded by a bunch of black gang members. I really lucked out in the fact that he was mostly looking for easy pickings and realized that I was going to fight if pushed. Fights on the zones bring in the guards, guards come in and they mess with inmates, when inmates get messed with they get upset, then more guards get called in. When more guards get called then they start doing shakedowns. When shakedowns start people lose their cell phones and drugs. So, in essence they didn't want to fight and I gave them an out by making a joke of everything. It's a lot like working with upper management, except management usually doesn't carry a 6" shank with them...

matthew07178 karma

Sounds terrifying dude, you're a badass

arrested_in_MS243 karma

I almost crapped my self... for real..

Tehitter190 karma

If you don't mind me asking, what charge was the plea that you accepted?

What can you do to try and get that felony hidden? (If anything)

arrested_in_MS238 karma

I agreed to plea to Aggravated Assault.

ProblemPie185 karma

I am sincerely confused by this.

So the initial charges were the molestation of a minor, right? When it looked like you might eventually get the verdict overturned and essentially out the judge, jury, and ADA as gigantic stupid assholes, they wanted you to plea to another crime so that they still got a conviction, but you didn't have to go to prison for molesting your stepdaughter.

Where the fuck did aggravated assault come from, though? Who are you supposed to have attacked? And doesn't "aggravated" tend to stipulate the use of a deadly weapon?

MisterDonkey401 karma

I was once arrested for pot, but maintained my innocence and eventually plead guilty to littering just to get it over with.

Littering, like throwing something on the ground.

How the fuck are those things related, who knows? But the crooked-ass system of injustice just wanted some $$$.

arrested_in_MS294 karma

This exactly. It's all about money and peoples careers. Justice doesn't mean shit to the legal system anymore.

arrested_in_MS138 karma

In essence, yes the Judge and ADA didn't want to look like dumb asses to the public. This way they can still say "justice was served". (pardon me while I vomit a little)

The ADAs picked aggravated assault out of their asses. They chose it because it's a violent crime and I wouldn't be able to get it off my record easily. I never hurt anyone nor am I the type that would. They tried multiple times for me to plea to a sex crime that would still get me out of prison, but I wasn't about to have my face plastered over the internet for the rest of my life. At least with the AA charge I don't have to worry about popping up on some neighborhood watch's list or having people picket out side of my house.

TOMORROWS-FORECAST175 karma

What has to happen for you to feel like justice has been served?

arrested_in_MS338 karma

Personally I want the ADAs that knew the case was bull shit but still went forward with it to be punished. However, there is no legal recourse for me since they used a grand jury to get my indictment. The best I can do is make an ethics complaint to the Mississippi state bar association. But that's like spitting in the wind...

q31161 karma

Do you think they will talk to you first if that bitches body turns up in a lake?

arrested_in_MS256 karma

Probably... However, I later found out I was not the only one she did this type of thing to.

sportbike_boi157 karma

Did you join a white gang to survive? What was the craziest thing you saw while incarcerated?

arrested_in_MS514 karma

No, I never joined a gang. I was asked several times and had others who hinted that I should try to join, but that lifestyle didn't appeal to me. I was an engineering manager before I got locked up. Going from corporate management to gang thug just didn't do it for me. However, I did befriend a lot of gang members.

The craziest thing was watching someone getting beaten senseless and then stabbed multiple times while the guards just watched it happen. It took about 20 minutes for the medical people to show up and take the guy out on a stretcher. I never found out what happened to him and I never knew his name so I can't look him up.

The second craziest thing was when I overhear gang members calling the captain on duty to complain that their drugs weren't delivered by his officers and that they wanted them immediately. I knew most of the guards were corrupt but I never fully realized how deep the corruption went.

DickyBill142 karma

Have you considered a libel/slander case against your ex-wife?

arrested_in_MS151 karma

I have, but I don't think any of it will stick. Especially since I took a plea and didn't fight everything in court.

Jowzer131 karma

Were there any warning signs about the lawyers not doing their job properly? without having legal experience it would be hard to tell. Do you have any advise for people looking for legal representation in the future?

arrested_in_MS242 karma

Looking back on it there were plenty of warning signs. However I am an engineer by training. The only legal experience I had was from watching Law and Order, so I ended up taking the douche bags word for so many things that didn't seem right.

My advise is to get as many of your friends and family as you can to help you out. If you're innocent you have to do everything possible to get out on bond before your trial and to get a good attorney. The costs are ridiculous but without it you're going to be one of 300 cases a public defender has. They are usually good people, but they are way over worked and have no resources to really help you out, nor are they usually experienced. A lot of public defenders are young attorneys trying to gain experience so they can branch out with their own firm or join a bigger one. I found out one good way to find good attorneys is read about trials in the local news. Those attorneys that win are going to be the ones you want to get.
In essence you're going to pay out the ass, especially if you're innocent because without a good attorney you're going to jail.

Drewmj1s128 karma

Have you talked to your daughter since you got out? What does she have to say?

arrested_in_MS260 karma

I have not talked to her. I probably won't ever try to talk to her unless she seeks me out, and even then I probably would refuse to talk. She was young when her mom got her to lie to the police. She was very young I don't doubt that she had no idea what she was doing. I don't blame her for anything.

Drewmj1s958 karma

When I was a kid, my mom got into an argument with her boyfriend. He never hit her, never touched her. She came at him ready to fight, and he sprayed her with the water hose outside by the pool. She comes in and starts screaming. It freaks me out and I cant do anything but cry along with my sister. I follow her around the house and she gets a knife. I scream at the top of my lungs "NO!!!!" and she does it anyways, she takes the knife to her skin and starts cutting herself. She picks up the phone, diald 911 and claims that her boyfriend did this to her. In order to corroborate for her lie, she wanted me and my sister to lie for her. I still want to say that was the hardest decision of my life. The police came, my sister, after about 30 minutes of screaming and crying and indecision starts to accomplice for my mom. I push my way in front of my sister and tell them everything that happened. If I would have lied, an innocent man, like you, would have gone to jail. My mom hates me and that moment pretty much ruined my life, but I am very happy that I didn't put an innocent man in jail. I can tell you this, if your daughter ever finds out, which if her mother is as much of a liar as she seems, I unfortunately believe it will be kept a secret, she will believe it's her fault. It's a catch 22. But I really hope you get to talk to your daughter again. I'm so sorry for your time lost. I hope I can ask another question, how is getting a job so far?

arrested_in_MS331 karma

I'm sorry about your situation and it sounds really bad. After being in prison and meeting a lot of people locked up for things they didn't do I can tell you that what you did was very brave and not the norm. Thank you for tell the truth.

forrealzthough87 karma

Do you think your ex is still feeding her lies? Or even tell your son the false accusations? Its fucking sad that that women is ruining multiple lives for her own selfishness.

arrested_in_MS196 karma

My ex only cares about her self. She will use anyone or anything to get what she wants. I am sure she is still telling everyone I molested her daughter and that she and her are "The true victims of a impotent legal system". Manipulation and lies is all she knows. That's exactly why I want to get my son away from her! I don't want her ruining his life later.

BaratheonFire117 karma

What was the worst thing about prison? And how will your life be affected now that you're out?

arrested_in_MS291 karma

The worst thing is that once you're convicted you're no longer human. You're treated like the scum of the earth. The food is horrible (frequently found bugs and bug parts in my food) and the facilities I stayed at were so in ill repair that I don't see how they can legally house people there.

The worst really are the other inmates. Think of the crappiest person you know, and then imagine living with 100 others exactly like that or worse day in and out 24/7. I'm 38M, slightly taller than average, a little on the heavy side, and white. That immediately made me a target for everything from extortion to violence. The fact that I fought back usually surprised them the most though. Even when I lost I still got "prison cred" for standing up for my self. Strangly enough I won most of the fights I got into. The only ones that I lost were when I inadvertently got into a fight with a gang member. When that happened all of the other members from the same gang jumped in... Needless to say, with 3 to 8 on one odds I didn't stand the chance. However, the bruises were worth it in the end. The guys that never fought back were constantly having their stuff taken and bullied.

NetflixIsGr8110 karma

Was there ever a point where you thought you'd give up?

arrested_in_MS202 karma

Many times I wanted to give up. However, being in prison is a big motivator to keep trying to get out. I was sentenced to 15 years and had no desire to want to stay.

NoBeatingAroundBushe110 karma

Now that you've accepted the plea (to get out), is there anything you can do to get it overturned and expunged, or is part of the plea deal that you won't do that?

arrested_in_MS166 karma

Because the plea was for Aggravated Assault, it's considered a violent crime in MS and I can not get it expunged. I am going to try something to get it off my record, but I can't talk about it until after the fact.

NoBeatingAroundBushe60 karma

Oops. Kind of thought that was the same thing.

I'm glad you've got a shot at getting rid of it, somehow anyway.

arrested_in_MS79 karma

It's a very long shot, but still a slight possibility.

HappySwallow106 karma

Besides your ex-wife having affairs, did she show any other signs of being crazy? Did you see her being capable of lying and deceiving the courts? Or were you completely blindsided by how cold-hearted someone could be towards another persons life?

arrested_in_MS175 karma

I was completely blindsided... I spoke to a psychologist and a psychiatrist that I had testify at my motion for retrial and they both explained that my ex is likely a borderline personality disorder or a sociopath.

Looking back I can see a lot of hints on where she was crazy. I was taken in by her because she is very attractive and very persuasive. She had convinced me that I was the best thing to happen to her, but the longer the barrage went the more her crazy would come out. In the end I figured out she was unstable, hence why I wanted the divorce, but I never thought she would do what she did to me let alone manipulate her children to do it.

thelotusknyte103 karma

Why didn't you stick to your guns and not accept the plea bargain?

arrested_in_MS206 karma

because at minimum I would have been stuck in prison for at least another year. Plus I was running out of money. Good lawyers don't work for free.

Also, after looking at the statistics I didn't want to take the chance. Apparently a low percentage of appeals actually get accepted, then the new trial would go back to the same county court and judge in which I was convicted in. So everything was stacked against me. If I had a good attorney at the beginning I think I would have one no problem, but winning on appeal is not easy to do.

aabbccatx87 karma

Did you look into filing against the attorney or your ex?

arrested_in_MS215 karma

Next week I plan on filing embezzlement charges on Attorney #2. One of my new attorneys was a prosecutor for over 10 years so she is helping me get everything in order before I go to the Sheriff's office to make the complaint. The big challenge will to get them to do anything about it. I'm not sure about what I can or will do about my ex. I always dreamed of putting her in prison for this, but after having been there I find it hard to wish that on anyone.

Gatraz80 karma

Did you read any good books or make any real friends in prison?

arrested_in_MS214 karma

I met two really good friends in prison. Unfortunately they both belong in prison. One was a gang member who sold drugs but was arrested when he tried to rob a store when he was high to get more money for drugs. He knows what he did was wrong and he's sorry, but if he was free the drugs would put him back in prison. The other was a guy who had sex with a woman who was really drunk, (he was drunk too) and after the woman sobered up she accused him of rape. I don't know if his story is true, but he was very honest for an inmate.

As far as good books, plenty of great ones. I liked fantasy the most because it took my mind off of the real world. Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series kept me company for several months.

60equals10067 karma

What is your plan with your son? Are you able to fight for custody? How much will a felony on your record hurt your credibility in court against your ex?

arrested_in_MS124 karma

As I said in a previous post, I do plan on fighting to try to get full custody of my son, however the best I really expect is to get visitation started. It's very scary because there will be nothing stopping my ex from trying something like this again. I mean if my son comes back to her after spending the week end with me and has a bruise on his knee or something she is the type who would call the police and say I was beating him. My felony will hurt my credibility, especially since it's assault.

crraanky44 karma

I know you mentioned you're unable to see your son. Do you have any plans as how to tackle this?

I feel really bad for you man, I hope you can get everything you deserve out of your second life.

arrested_in_MS66 karma

I do plan on fighting to try to get full custody, however the best I really expect is to get visitation started. It's very scary because there will be nothing stopping my ex from trying something like this again. I mean if my son comes back to her after spending the week end with me and has a bruise on his knee or something she is the type who would call the police and say I was beating him.

PGXHC40 karma

Based on your experience, what could be changed in the legal system to prevent this from happening in the future?

arrested_in_MS119 karma

No clue... The problem is the Judges and ADA's don't care if you're innocent or guilty, they just want to keep their conviction rates high so they get reelected or a raise. It's all bullshit.

decentfellow38 karma

Are you more careful with women now especially if they have kids?

arrested_in_MS79 karma

Sigh... I'm planning on seeking consoling for this... It terrifies me to be around kids now. My new GF doesn't have and can't have kids, so it's not much of an issue with us now.

mistermonr0e33 karma

What was your daily routine in prison like? How did you cope? What was the judges reaction to you receiving the not guilty verdict?

arrested_in_MS71 karma

I never received a not guilty verdict. I took my conviction back to court under something called a Motion for Retrial. Essentially you have to prove your trial was constitutionally unfair. Since my trial attorney stole my money and never turned in my evidence, it wasn't hard to prove.

As for daily routine... I was considered a medium security inmate. We woke up at 6AM for breakfast, then go back to your cell, you get lunch around noon, then dinner around 6PM. By 11PM you're locked down for the evening. I spent most of my time reading. I probably finished well over 100 books.

Emperor_of_Cats39 karma

What was your favorite book you read while there?

arrested_in_MS14 karma

Robert Jordan's "Wheel of Time" series. But I have read a ton of westerns and romance novels. For some reason those are about all the books that prison libraries have in stock. That and mystery novels, but I refused to read them... I mean I lived in prison with a bunch of murderers and such, I didn't want to read about people committing crimes. I was living it.

shingox33 karma

How are you supporting yourself now?

arrested_in_MS77 karma

Right now I am living with my GF, but I will have to get a job soon since she barely makes it on her own without me mooching off her. I'm looking into some VA programs and such to try to get a halfway decent job. However, no to many engineering or management jobs for ex-cons. Sigh..

myrptaway18 karma

Why did you marry her?

arrested_in_MS47 karma

The woman I married was completely difrent before and after the wedding. She played me because I made very good money and she wanted to use me for that. She told me she was on birth control when she became pregnant with my Son. I found out later that she only got one month's supply of her BC and never used. She got pregnant on purpose to try to get support from me. Apparently she did the same to her first husband.

mootbeat3 karma

man, how are you getting compensated for? 15 years is a looooong time.

and also, do you think you can forgive her?

EDIT: realised he was only in there for 17 months. which would be 16 months and 30 days too long for me XD

arrested_in_MS6 karma

No compensation. I'm just screwed where that's concerned.

As for forgiving her? I can't do that now... Maybe in years to come, but there is way to much anger right now. This does worry me though since I will be trying to get custody or at least visitation for my son. I don't know how I will be able to deal with her when the time comes.

I have forgiven my stepdaughter though. She was to young to realize her mother was manipulating her. I just hope that her bio father gets custody of her, because if she stays with her mom she's going to end up messed up in the head.

mootbeat4 karma

Man that is crazy. Im from Australia, so im not too familiar with your laws and stuff. but over here we hear about guys in the US getting found innocent like 10-20 years after incarceration, and getting compensated for, like this guy. surely you should be entitled to something? maybe discuss it with your lawyer?

in regards to you forgiving her, I hope you do. not because she deserves it, she sounds like a complete ass. but because you deserve it, you sound like you've been through enough shit in your life, the last thing you deserve is to have your heart filled with hate, what you need to do is enjoy what you've got left and forget anything that will make you unhappy.

Take care OP!

arrested_in_MS9 karma

My heart, although bruised, is still full of love for my fellow man. I do have some really good friends that stuck by me and I also have a really great girlfriend. If I can get my son back I will be happy again... The copious amounts of antidepressants help a lot too. :-)

4RestM2 karma

From what I've heard from friends in the pin, sex offenders get the worst amount of abuse. I know you're innocent, and read your replies stating the position sex offenders are in prison.

That said, did you have any close calls? I've never been in prison and in my mind its scary, minus the reading, but did you have anyone question your "I'm innocent"

arrested_in_MS3 karma

I had plenty of people question the "I'm innocent". With the help of my new attorney I had made a fake back story to tell people. There were plenty of times I just said that I didn't want to talk about it since I was still fighting my conviction. Most people respected that.

As for close calls I had several. One of the guys who was in my county jail with me and knew my charge also ended up in the same permanent housing facility as me. We started out as cell mates but we ended up getting into fights when I caught him trying to steal my shit. Once after busting his nose after I caught him with his hands in my lock box for the 3rd time he threatened to tell everyone my charge. It scared the shit out of me until I told him that if he snitched on me I would do the same for him. He never bothered me again after that.

DramDemon2 karma

Dude, you've been through a lot. Shows how messed up the courts are and how much power women really have even though they say they have none. Anyways, my questions are:

Have you talked to your stepdaughter since you got out and/or when you knew she was lying?

How does your family and your ex's family feel about the whole situation?

arrested_in_MS8 karma

I have not talked to my stepdaughter. I had a no contact order put on me from the moment my ex made the call to the police. It took my 3 months to get the no contact removed from my 6 month old son. Even after it was removed my ex moved to another state so I couldn't find her for a while. Then when I did I was only able to see my son once during the 2 years I waited for trial. My son is now 3 and I haven't seen him since he was 7 months old. It's extremely painful to know that my son doesn't even know me... My family stood by my the whole time. They are obviously pissed about it all but there isn't much I or they can do about it. I haven't talked to my ex's family since before the allegations.

I_LIKE_ANAL_AMA2 karma

In prison, did people ever treat you differently for being accused of molesting a child?

arrested_in_MS2 karma

I kept it a secret. I also kept to my self a lot so I never got noticed by people who had cell phones and would look up my conviction record (MS publishes all that info online with open access).

RoseBladePhantom2 karma

I'm sorry if this was is your summary, but that was a wall of text and the tl:dr didn't answer my question? Was your stepdaughter in on it? If so how did you feel about it? Did this have an impact on your relationship if you maintain a relationship with her?

arrested_in_MS5 karma

My stepdaughter was "in on it" but she was 7 at the time of the allegations. She really wasn't old enough to know what she was doing, all she knew was that she was making mom happy.

As far as having a relationship with my stepdaughter, I don't have one nor do I want one. I really don't want to put her through any more pain than her mother has already put her through. If she comes to me when she is older I may talk to her, but I won't go to her first.

[deleted]-2 karma

[deleted]

arrested_in_MS3 karma

Completely intact! I'm not a small guy so the usual methods of intimidation didn't work.
Besides, as I said before in another response, there was surprisingly little forced sex. I only met one person that supposedly had that happen to.

[deleted]-15 karma

[deleted]

arrested_in_MS10 karma

She was 8 you sick fuck.