In response to my family's upcoming AMA, I thought I'd try this again: I am a former member of the Westboro Baptist Church. Ask Me Anything!

Behind closed doors, does anyone in the church ever come right out and say "what if we're wrong?"

Has it happened, and if so, does it result in immediate rejection?

No, you wouldn't openly express skepticism in the authenticity of doctrine. That is a trait of someone who gets kicked out and can no longer see their family. When you leave, at least you've tried to prepare yourself and you've made a conscious decision to change your life. When you're kicked out, you are betrayed by the only people who you get really close to your entire life. Imagine living every day with the same people and in the same way, and then being banished and out to live on your own when you're thirty. I've seen it happen.

So, no, those types of things are typically private. However, most of the people who are of age and are stern in their beliefs would say that the notion that they're wrong is simply a vain hope by the rebels of the world to avoid obeying the standards and judgement of God.

So do they allow people outside of their religion into their sermons? Sorry if this has been answered already.

Yes, outsiders are (usually) welcome to attend as long as they contact WBC beforehand, dress modestly and are quiet during the sermon. No one has ever acted "crazy" during a sermon before, in case you were wondering ;)

I really want this answered. In my opinion, self doubt isn't a bad thing. It shows you're thinking from more than just a close minded angle. If you're not questioning if you're wrong then how can you be certain you're right?

I do believe in self-doubt; it is my entire philosophy to humbly question whether I am doing the right thing in every circumstance of my life, and I try to heed wisdom.

The reason I think I am right to approach WBC from the angle of unconditional love is two reasons: first, when I was a member of Westboro and left about four years ago, my cousin (who wishes to remain anonymous) showed my undenying loyalty and kindness in his words, "Zach, I just want you to be happy," and that showed me that he cared about me and that I could come to him if I ever felt like leaving again. Second, the reason I believe WBC will shut down if they are shown unconditional love is that they think they are being persecuted like Jesus Christ is thought to have been in the Bible for preaching the gospel, and they honestly think the world hates them simply because the Bible is true. But I have read and been shown numerous things that could be wrong with the Bible's interpretation of the world, not the least of which was, "There is no peace for the wicked," as it says in Isaiah... I felt like a wicked man coming out of WBC, but every day since then, I got a little bit happier and less burdened by negative emotions as I received compassion from others. I can tell you that I live a life of very great peace these days based on the smile I wear, and a conscience that is free from anger, and much sorrow, shame, and fear. And, I have heard that the Biblical concepts of Hell were invented by men only in the last 1,000 years, for example... The Bible is a book, and it may be that it has been tainted by men in power who wanted to control the hearts and minds of their followers.

Trust the man who seeks the truth, and doubt the man who claims to have found it!

Edit: Andre Gide said this

I agree wholeheartedly.

What are your current views on homosexuality after having left the WBC? Thanks for doing this Iama.

I am a full supporter of gay rights. :)

Are the people of the Westboro Baptist Church happy?

Some members of Westboro claim to be very confident and happy, I think... and some may legitimately be so.

Others, I have experienced firsthand experience symptoms of depression when other members of Westboro have left... my mother is the classic example to my mind. She felt very sad when my sisters, Megan and Grace Phelps-Roper, left in November 2012, for a period of what I thought must have been 6 months... daily, she was in tears because two of her daughters were gone... and I know she was in tears when I left as well, as she gave me a hug and cried when I approached her in March, a little time after I left the church on February 20.

Your AMAs have completely reshaped my view of Westboro and, as a person who tries to understand the core motivation of people with perspectives I consider destructive, I believe you're doing a very good thing by contextualizing their perspective.

I'd always wondered how a grieving loved one hadn't gone on a homicidal rampage at a funeral protest, and I think many people wondered the same thing. But that anger comes from the "they're litigious trolls provoking a response by being sadists" perspective, which you've debunked quite well.

I believe most people who oppose their message don't want a scared, earnest, misguided group to suffer more. I certainly don't. Thank you for helping us understand and communicate properly.

Beyond meeting their message with love, is there anything else we can do to help them rejoin society? I feel like floral arrangements with a nice note after every protest as a new tradition might be an interesting tactic? :)

Anything that is approached to them should be done with love; that shouldn't limit you. :)

Why are they so preoccupied with homosexuality in particular? There are plenty of other sins to go after.

Because culture agrees that theft and rape are wrong, but doesn't do the same for homosexuality. Therefore, they feel compelled to further assert that it's sinful according to the Bible.

Did being classified as a hate group have any direct impact on the WBC other than leading to being barred from entry into Canada and the UK?

By the Southern Poverty Law Center? That didn't bother the members at all; they believe enmity with the world is one of the goals in serving God.

Thank you for doing this - this is the first time I've understood why they do what they do. Comparing themselves to Noah - I totally get it now. I completely disagree with them, but I understand how they can keep going when faced with such hatred.

What caused them to start picketing military funerals?

They view America, a nation with abortion, divorce and remarriage, idolatry, and same-sex marriage to be a nation that defies the commandments of God. Based off of a verse in Deuteronomy, they believe that the Lord is responsible for every single death that occurs.

When someone joins the military, he or she is supporting a country that has made God its number one enemy and therefore, God curses the army with dead soldiers. Now, when a soldier has died, the typical message is that the deceased individual is a blessing by God. They feel a commission to go in proximity to these funerals and call the person's death a curse from God and to warn the family that if they do not repent, they will join hell like the military man or woman.

That's their rationale behind military funeral pickets.

Why are they so anti-American? Aren't all countries violating the word of God? For example, all ~120 Christian countries disregard the commands to love your enemy and not to resist an evil person by having a police force.

You're right. They view every nation as wicked. In fact, they have a website called www.godhatestheworld.com

What Deuteronomy verse is it?

Deuteronomy 32:29

"See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god with me: I kill, and I make alive; I wound, and I heal: neither is there any that can deliver out of my hand."

Is there any person or group other than themselves that Westboro actually approves of, even looks up to?

Besides a biblical figure? No.

What was your reason for leaving?

Because even though I fully believed in the God that they believed in, I couldn't stand serving a God so wicked and vile. I left the church believing I was going to hell.

Because even though I fully believed in the God that they believed in, I couldn't stand serving a God so wicked and vile. I left the church believing I was going to hell.

1 John 4:8 "...God is Love" Do they ignore this?

No, but they believe that God is only love for the elect, which is a minority of people.

What about the start of John 3:16 "For God so loved the world..."?

They believe that "world" in this context (kosmos) refers to the world of the believers (the elect).

And how was their response to your leaving? Are you still in contact? Or did that result in them shunning you?

I have been completely cut off from my family and I miss and love them all dearly. :(

For whatever it's worth (which may not be much, because the love of one's family is not easily emulated) you are loved, by myself and many others I am sure, for your love and the truth you share. Be you, you give me hope.

Thank you kindly, my friend =D I really appreciate that.

What was the hardest part in developing your own world views and new perspectives after being so instilled with your family's extreme beliefs and growing up in such an isolated community?

The fear that thinking differently than what I had been taught would result in my eternal damnation.

Do they genuinely believe that what they are doing makes a difference or does some form of good? What is the motivation behind it? Do they like being so reviled? Do they attract new members with these displays?

They actually see themselves as comparable to Noah's family in the story of the ark; they believe that the entire world is soon going to be destroyed and they must preach to every creature and condemn them for their sin for if they do not do it, their blood is on their hands. That's the entire goal: To preach.

Making the doctrine pleasing and converting people was never the goal. However, a few people have joined the church as a result of the picketing.

So you're saying instead of treating them like hateful people, to treat them like scared people.

That's definitely a better way of looking at it!

What do you think the goal of the Westboro Baptist Church's AMA will be? How do you feel we should respond to it?

Their goal will be to preach. As I stated in the description: respond with love. :)

When was your "ah-ha" moment, I need to separate myself from this group?

Are you still in contact with your family who is still with the church?

There where tons of subtle things that made me question, but what made me stay was fear of hell.

Sadly, anyone who leaves that church loses their family, too. I gave up a lot to leave, but since having left, I've gained so much. :)

What a horrible choice to make. I truly congratulate you on having the courage to break out of the hatred and ugliness even if it means giving up their love.

Thank you kindly; I appreciate that!

Zach, what is your favorite color?

Seriously?

You know it's impossible to choose between burnt sienna and terracotta.

LOL! I was just pulling your leg... my favorite colors are Blue, Silver and Black.

What's the worst thing to happen to you at a demonstration? What's the worst thing you've done? How do you feel now looking back at both of them?

Well, I was scared shitless a few times when someone punched a hole in my rather large sign in Topeka one time; he approached me aggressively, and I thought he was going to hit me. O_O

The worst thing I probably have done is protest at someone's funeral, such as Albert Snyder's son (from Snyder V. Phelps, the Supreme Court case), Matthew Snyder. I tried to call and leave a message for his lawyers in order to apologize for picketing his son's funeral... it wasn't until I understood the grief of mourning for someone I lost, that I realized... funerals, to me, are sacred too.

Do you still believe there is a God or higher power that exists?

EDIT: Wow this is my first reddit post ever and I got 182 points. Thanks redditers! :)

Yes, I definitely believe in a higher power. I attend a Unitarian Universalist church.

If you had 10 seconds to tell the whole world something, what would you say?

Be kind to one another and do not hate.

Actually, scratch that statement... holy shit, I feel like the deer in the headlights =D

"I believe unconditional love for each other will bring world peace. I believe if we could learn to become more open-minded and loving, we would have no wars, no poverty, and we could be as one family."

I have heard that the Church will take a "donation" to NOT show up at a funeral or other protest. Sounds lucrative and evil. Any truth to this?? Thanks for doing this.

No, the church does not take financial donations and if anyone sends any donations, they are mailed back.

Some radio hosts have offered airtime in exchange for the church to not protest in a particular area, though. On more than one occasion, the church has accepted.

Were you there when Louis Theroux visited for his 2 documentaries? How was it that he was let in and allowed to film and be so candid?

I was there both times, and he was allowed to come visit because WBC is all about spreading their message: "Go forth and preach the gospel," by whatever means possible.

Are all WBC kids home schooled? Does anyone ever go to college?

No, we all went to public school. I cannot think of a single adult member that is not college educated.

How did other students treat you guys?

Most students treated us with respect like normal people, but not everyone ;) I was bullied a few times in school for my beliefs, but they were few and far between

Do you have any sort of support for getting out of your situation (job, outside friends, money)?

As far as I know, you're probably walking away from family...Heck, I don't have much but I am so against those folks' views of hatred that I would actually support its disintegration however I could.

Yes! Other members who had left prior to me helped me move my belongings.

How does WBC raise money to travel and picket?

They work and have good jobs.

I would imagine they aren't the favorite people around their offices

My family actually owns a law firm and while they're obviously despised, people also recognize that they're very good at what they do. One Westboro Baptist Church member has argued in front of the Supreme Court of the United States and won the case.

That's how they still manage to get clients.

How can I contact them, I have some shrubs that need trimming.

Lawn firm... Ha!

oops! typo ;)

Do you think there are other people who still belong to the church who have doubts about what they are doing?

Oh, of course! However, like I've said, the fear of hell is what keeps people there.

So, just out of curiosity, what would an "ideal" world be by the standards of the church?

One without sin, in their eyes... one that follows their interpretation of the Bible.

That ideal world, to them, is Heaven.

What was the turning point that caused you to decide you wanted to leave the church?

I left Westboro Baptist Church on February 20, 2014, because my parents were getting angry at me for complaining about my lower back and shoulder pain all the time... The pain felt horrifying in the midst of my nursing job, which I had just started... The night I left, my father was yelling at me when I asked if I could go to the Emergency Room.

I know he didn't mean to scare me... he is always under a lot of pressure. I just couldn't take the pressure any longer, and I had to get out... And I'm very glad I did now, in retrospect... I can see now that I was hurting a lot of people with the message of Westboro, and I no longer believe most of what they preach any longer.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back.

Members aren't allowed to obtain medical care? Even though some of them are doctors and nurses?

Well, the problem was, my father thought I was trying to intentionally piss him off by asking about going to the ER... he misunderstood me.

WBC does believe in seeking medical care, but they put their trust in God first, not doctors or nurses.

You mention that you have no contact with your family; do you think you may post on the AMA they do? Whether you answer yes or no, if you DID post, what questions would you want answered?

Also, could you give us a story of one picketing event that really spoke out to you? Good, bad, maybe someone cooky you encountered.

I might. We'll see when that happens. ;)

Hmm.. A crazy picketing event is just bad energy to dwell on. Ha ha. Sorry. You can find a lot of crazy stuff on Youtube, though.

Is that Folgers dark roast in your picture or just medium roast?

LOL! I don't drink coffee; that is my friends' coffee, whose house I am staying at ;)

Also: It seems to me that being disbarred really set Fred Phelps off in a whole new direction- was that the case, or did he always have his "old-school" beliefs? On a side note, how much of that rhetoric was legitimate vs how much was a ploy for attention?

How was it growing up in that environment?

I was born way after my grandfather got disbarred, so I couldn't comment on that.

I'd say that besides the religious doctrine I was taught, growing up in the Westboro Baptist Church was fairly normal. Although, my perception of normal may be completely different from yours. ;)

What would a perfect world look like to a WBC member? Meaning, a world where it was no longer necessary for them to picket anything.

I don't think I could list everything off of the top of my head but a few governmental policies that they believe should be enforced include capital punishment for homosexuality. No abortion, or divorce and remarriage. No idolatry. And they consider any obsessive use of a symbol to be idolatry.

Do they enjoy the fact that most Americans despise them? Like do they sit around the house and joke about it while watching TV of any other ordinary thing?

They see the fact that they're so widely loathed as a sign that they're doing the right thing on serving God.

What did the church think of Pope Francis?

www.priestsrapeboys.com

Do you think there will there be a WBC in 100 years?

I highly doubt it. There may not be one in 10 years, if my message is embraced as readily as I hope it will be.

I've heard about the Westboro Baptist Church Picketing at many events, do they personally travel to all these places or are there other churches that practice what they believe?

No other church is associated with the WBC. They travel all around the country on their own nickel.

Is it true that your grandfather was excommunicated shortly before he died, or was it that he voluntarily left? In either case, what was the reason?

He was excommunicated for supporting the Equality House, aka Planting Peace. Here is an article about it =D http://www.abpnews.com/ministry/people/item/28747-grandson-says-fred-phelps-changed-mind-about-gays

Were you involved with any of the Howard Stern Show appearances back in the day?

Nah.

Is this your mom on Hollyweird Squares? http://youtu.be/WrfaeSKm-oA

Yep, my mom and two of my sisters. (Both of whom are gone now)

My main question I was wondering was, when WBC would go to rally military funerals, or basically any event they decided to rally at, what was the level of concern for everyone? Were you guys ever actually concerned with someone causing serious harm or worse to one of your members?

Also, one more question. Did the tremendous amount of hate from a lot of people ever actually get to the members of the WBC?

Myself, I was often scared of violent attacks. However, we all told ourselves that the Lord would protect us at the pickets.

I can speak for myself. Sometimes, it was of course irritating to see what people would say about your loved ones. They're human beings, too. They think it would be nice to be respected like everyone else, but they're certainly willing to make the sacrifice of being hated by everyone in order to obtain hope of entering heaven and avoiding hell.

What usually was the response of the WBC when someone would initiate a violent attack on one of the members?

It was evidence of them being despised and therefore, a sign that they were truly a servant of God.

Kevin smith talked about his friend Malcolm interviewing your grandad. Said the grandson was in the room. Malcolm being gay spent the whole interview checking out the (apparently well-hung) grandson's bulge as his own mini-victory. Was this you?

No. Fred Phelps had over fifty grandchildren.

Do you hope to one day have a frank discussion with your family on why you left?

I'd love to talk with my family about anything.

Why do members of the WBC choose to live in nations "cursed by God"? It seems to me that participating in these nations' economy and by paying taxes, the members of WBC are supporting the nation just as much as anyone else (military personnel included).

Well, according to them, literally every single country is hated by God. See: www.godhatestheworld.com

They live in America because they need to preach to the nation and it's the only country where they'd be allowed to it.

When it comes to paying taxes, there is a quote by Jesus Christ that says "Render unto Caesar, that which is Caesar's and render unto mine that which is mine." They're lawfully required to pay taxes and therefore, they pay their taxes without feeling like they're rebelling against God.

What are the WBC's feelings on incest? I read somewhere that they are alright with it.

They believe incest is a sin and they refrain from doing it.

How have your beliefs changed since leaving the church?

Well, in a matter of months, I went from attending the Westboro Baptist Church to a Unitarian Universalist church.

So.. I'd say quite drastically. :)

You say you left the church believing you were going to hell. Does that mean Westboro doesn't preach the message that Jesus is the Savior? Or how does that work?

They believe Jesus died for a minority of people, the elect. And you never know whether or not you're a part of that small group of people when you're alive.

Do you believe in a god? (Not asking for a debate, just a question)

Yes.

Do you believe a god hates people?

Nope. :)

What do you think about the part where it says for one man to lay with another that it is an abomination, and they are to be put to death?

They support the death penalty for homosexuality.

EDIT: Oh, sorry, I misread this. I thought you were asking about the church. I don't believe in the God of the Bible anymore and I absolutely do not think gays should be killed.

How does the church rectify being so hateful to others while supposedly following Jesus?

They actually believe that they do is not only the most loving this to do, but that it is the ONLY loving thing to do.

When Christ gave the commandment to "love thy neighbor as thyself", it was a quote from the 19th chapter of Leviticus where it says that you are to "rebuke your neighbor." They interpret that verse as the justification for what they do.

You explained how you think we should act in the upcoming AMA, but in your opinion how do you think we should act if we see them protesting in public? If you saw them, how would you act, considering your history with them?

Thanks for doing this, your previous AMA, and just letting people know what's really happening in the WBC, it really gives me a clichéd hope in these people.

I, myself, have counter protested my family with signs with messages such as "God Loves You."

I'm a bit reluctant in giving people a script as to what to say. All I ask is that you speak to them with love, without a subtext of "fuck you".

[deleted]

I go to a Unitarian Universalist church.

Yes, I have, but I still love them dearly.