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I am a 15 year old boy with down syndrome. AMA!
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thenextdoorneighbor57 karma
People who dont have down syndrome are very fast. Everything about them is quick and decisive. It is amusing and fascinates me
Rdunklee17 karma
I am a server at a resturaunt, and I have dealt with a few patrons with down syndrome. I treated them as I would any other customer as best I could. Was this the right move? What is the correct response if you cannot understand someone with down syndrome?
thenextdoorneighbor29 karma
Yes treat them as you would anybody else because we really are the same as any other of your customers just not as mentally sharp. As to what you should do.... I dont have trouble speaking to others with the syndrome (seeing i have it myself) I am not really sure. I could see how this could be very awkward. Try to say "could you repeat that?" and maybe look at whoever they are with. Their "date" should be able to pick up on the signal and help you out a bit.
Rdunklee12 karma
That was the issue I was running into. I could feel myself being awkward and my lack of knowledge of the syndrome made me confused as to whether the customer with downs syndrome could tell I was uncomfortable. Do you get offended or embarrassed when someone is uncomfortable when interacting with you? I could imagine it could get frustrating at times.
thenextdoorneighbor22 karma
As long as i can tell there is no malicious intent I sometimes feel a bit sorry for them seeing I know they are trying and are unable to I just wish everyone had a bit more knowledge around the subject
Rdunklee10 karma
I think everyone should learn more. Thank you for your answers. Keep on keeping on, man!
thenextdoorneighbor54 karma
That they are normal people just slower. Slower reactions and maybe trouble speaking sometimes but we have all the same thoughts and feelings as the average person
Idecideyourfate15 karma
I believe that everyone is talented in one way or another regardless of whatever condition one might have. My question is, what are some of your specific talents?
Thanks for doing this AMA
thenextdoorneighbor29 karma
I am good at skateboarding and reading. I can pop shuvit and am currently working on my kickflip. I have also been grade level for the last few years, which is quite surprising. Well.. ya know, seeing im disabled lol. I am in the top 1% in reading for all people with down syndrome (including adults)
Idecideyourfate10 karma
That is awesome. Great job! If I may ask one more question, what type of books do you enjoy reading?
thenextdoorneighbor16 karma
I very much enjoyed Glass Castle and all of the Hunger Games series. What about you?
Idecideyourfate10 karma
I enjoy reading horror and things about the paranormal. I also enjoy the works of Stephen King. Mostly my favorite reading material is right here on Reddit! lol
Idecideyourfate7 karma
Yeah that's a good subreddit. Just stay away from /r/fiftyfifty. It's filled with things you can never unsee. In fact, it's the leading cause for insomnia in the world lol.
thenextdoorneighbor11 karma
MUST CLICK LINK, its like the imfamous nsfw or nsfl tag you cant not click
m0nicag15 karma
Hi there! My questions are: what are your future aspirations? And also, would you rather have new people acknowledge your syndrome or tip toe around it? Thanks, and keep smiling!
thenextdoorneighbor24 karma
I would like to be an astronaut! I think it should be tip toed around for many. I have come to terms with it personally though.
Cardifox14 karma
When did you realise that you were different from other people, and was this something that you had to overcome?
What has it been like for you growing up? How do you deal with the negative side that people can show towards the way you are?
You're still so young, but you have a really mature positive attitude about it which is absolutely fantastic. Do you plan to be an advocate for this disorder to raise awareness and progress in research?
Also... did you ever play pokemon? and if so, are you looking forward to the new ORAS games? (doesn't need to be answered if you're not interested)
thenextdoorneighbor15 karma
OHMYGODDIDIPLAYPOKEMON lol it was an obsession!
I realized around 1st grade when others were picking up on concepts much quicker than I. I was then moved classrooms and I pretty much knew something was up lol
I have had a very good childhood. I have friends and we are in pretty normal friendships (as normal as highschool guy friendships get)
I am not all that good in school, so i dont think being a scientist and helping find a cure is in my future but I could raise awareness for sure
Cardifox8 karma
Pokemon yay! I just preordered Alpha Sapphire today so i'm a bit obsessed :D
School isn't really for everyone, and I do mean that, but don't let that stop you from doing anything that you want. Advocating just by helping others deal with their disorder, helping families or joining community groups can be really beneficial for you and others who might be struggling.
It's really good to hear that you had a good childhood and normal friendships. I have a few people i know with down syndrome who weren't so lucky throughout school, but now they have really good friends. Kids can be especially cruel.
Good luck in the future! Thanks so much for doing this AMA.
thenextdoorneighbor8 karma
Havent gotten into any of the new ones yet. Do they do the series justice? Thanks for the encouraging words!
Ladhani12 karma
I always wondered what it was like to be disabled. Do disabled people wonder what it's like to be...abled (for lack of a better term)?
thenextdoorneighbor22 karma
Enabled? haha Yes i wonder all the time, we all wonder about different lifestyles and things we are not. I often wonder what it is like to be able to become a starting sports player on my highschool teams
thenextdoorneighbor33 karma
Did i just "outvocabulary" you, for lack of a better term hahaha
Edit: Spelling
Spotterz8 karma
ahaha you're awesome! :) Personally, I prefer mine turtles. http://i.imgur.com/7KwnCRB.gif
thenextdoorneighbor21 karma
I will be the first to admit having downs is quite a burden and if a family (or single mother) feels they cant handle it then they shouldnt be forced to
llosa8 karma
Since you feel that you are 'slower', do you think it gives you a better perspective on life and some advantages? For example, you make less blunders because you think more before you act?
Also, do you have a preference romantically - would you prefer to date someone with Down's, or without?
thenextdoorneighbor12 karma
I would date either but I feel somebody without Downs could never really understand it and be able to work with it. I could see this creating conflict if a relationship
llosa6 karma
I see. Someone has also told me that people with Downs are naturally kinder and more compassionate. Do you agree?
thenextdoorneighbor9 karma
I believe they are much more understanding of what people can be going through because we are going through something tough ourselves. So i dont think its genetics or science its just what the common person would do!
HitlerIsBlack11 karma
You should do it, Its a lot easier than becoming an astronaut, and you get to party all day with beautiful women.
thenextdoorneighbor9 karma
Wellllll being african doesnt necessarily make you black. But thats a great article to have around incase anyone questions you haha. /r/TIL
666devilkills7 karma
Has any one ever ostracized your from school? ie: bullied you or made you feel like you didn't belong? Because at my high school I try to befriend the special needs kids and help them make other friends but quite a few tend to be very shy to people as many people look down on those who are disabled, also is so has any one ever stood up for you and made the person stop?
thenextdoorneighbor8 karma
The looks I get can be dissapointing but most people tend to be quiet towards me. Not kind not mean, just kinda ignoring me. I have a few friends around school who have stood up for me before. I have a few quite popular friends, I like to think they like me because they see my kindness and true colors but you never know it could be some sort of facade, they help me with most of the people messing with me
thenextdoorneighbor7 karma
I listen to music and use most of the techniques a normal teen would
locallyGrownBullShit6 karma
Hi and thanks for doing the ama! My question is: what do you think are some positive things about your syndrome?
Back in high school, I knew of this kid with down syndrome and he was the happiest little fella and would be your best buddy in a heartbeat! Also, all the ladies were really nice to him... a lot nicer than they were to me! lol Thanks again!
thenextdoorneighbor7 karma
Sorry we pull all the ladies ;) haha, kidding. I think i have a very different viewpoint on things than many others might have so i would say the ability to think outside the box
OdelayOdelay6 karma
I work with adults with autism and other learning disabilities in the UK, one hurdle we continually come up against is equal access to health care. As Down Syndrome is linked to a number of health concerns such as the early on set of dementia what support is available to you and your family around these issues and what can be done better?
thenextdoorneighbor5 karma
ummm im 15 but uhhh ya the government should be doing stuff to uhhhhhh help people. So ya 'merica
thenextdoorneighbor28 karma
Seeing straight, many people without our syndrome dont know this but unless we are focusing on something as hard as we can, we are for the most part blind. I see gray everywhere that im not focusing on.
Releventcomments12 karma
Wow didn't know this. Could you explain like is it because the eyes aren't focusing all the time or?
thenextdoorneighbor15 karma
I can focus on one thing easily but everything else gets very fuzzy. Have you ever put on somebody elses glassses? thats what I would have to equate it to
Releventcomments8 karma
I have glasses (near-sighted) and when I put on other people's glasses everything just gets blurry
thenextdoorneighbor10 karma
whatever im focusing on becomes clear as everything else gets less visable. Like when you stand up too fast sorta. Your peripheral vision is weakened
Releventcomments4 karma
Is it an effect of the down syndrome or is it just something that is rare
thenextdoorneighbor7 karma
I honestly havent asked anyone with it before, i just kinda assumed it, thanks for bringing this to my attention. i could just need glasses lol
Edit: texted my friend and he said he gets it but his doesnt seem as prominent as mine
Releventcomments1 karma
Needing Glasses makes everything blurry. What you have seems to be more of a peripheral problem. Even though peripheral vision is bad to begin with
Jewker5 karma
What made you want to do this AMA? Is there one question particular question that you really want to get asked?
thenextdoorneighbor13 karma
I want to show awareness and teach others about this condition that so many people are faced with.
Jewker8 karma
Thanks dude! If more people had an attitude like yours, the world would be a much better place.
thenextdoorneighbor10 karma
My pleasure and seeing that you are a jewker you should go up a bit and talk to /u/HitlerIsBlack
Kimpsake5 karma
It's said that people with Down's have cognitive delays, but looking through you're replies you seem well articulated with your thoughts and sentences - most of them are actually quite witty, hitting the social ques spot on, making jokes and such, as anyone else would. I say this in all honesty, not to sound patronizing, I hope.
My questions is this: is it easier for you to chat with people (friends, strangers) face-to-face or through text (online, SMS etc.)? How does it differ for you?
Also, are you interested in Down's in general e.g. about it's causes, how people who have it are/should be treated socially? Do you discuss Down's with people?
thenextdoorneighbor10 karma
Im a bit socially awkward (as many people on this site can relate to ;)) but I have wondered for most of my life if it because of my downs or im just a normally awkward 15 year old boy going through puberty. I can plan out what to say here and respond wittily? wittily? idk i guess thats a made up adjective but i think you can figure it out! :)
Kimpsake3 karma
You bet, I had to read through my question for at least 15 min before posting, trying to figure out if it's too awkward or not. :D I would say, it's the puberty on your part, and maybe other peoples reaction towards your Down's on theirs. Either way, there's no need for it, in my opinion. I've got a feeling you could probably hold a kick-ass presentation on awareness and I hope you do, because you've already broken all the prejudices I've had towards people with Down's. I thank you for it and your IAmA! :)
Have a great Summer!
thenextdoorneighbor4 karma
Im not easily offended your questions were fine! Thanks i too hope i am able to grow out of an awkward stage haha
slowrunner56785 karma
Hello, thanks for doing this AMA!
My questions are: Who is your primary care giver?
Which are the daily tasks you love doing independently?
Which is your most proud achievement?
thenextdoorneighbor7 karma
My mom is my caregiver, and I like the independence of school. I can learn on my own and make my own choices there. Learning how to popshuvit it one week
slowrunner56788 karma
Thank you for answering. Good luck with school! I hope you can achieve all your dreams and aspirations :)
slowrunner56783 karma
I didn't know what popshuvit was until now! Had to google it and look up a video!
That looks cool! Great going!
slowrunner56782 karma
Yea, it looks tough! I have never tried a skate board. I'm quite old now for that. Probably my son will learn it someday :)
thenextdoorneighbor3 karma
Congratulations! May his childhood be full of skatboarding! (with minimal injuries hopefully!)
slowrunner56782 karma
Thank you for your wishes!
On a side note though, my husband who is almost 30 started longboarding, just a few weeks back, for the first time in his life...hahhahah :D
thenextdoorneighbor2 karma
ooh ya longboarding is great! It is also a good mode of transportation
junctiondelprimavera5 karma
Hi! Were you a difficult child growing up? A friend of mine has a six year old boy with down syndrome and he is often testing her patience! She often says how one little extra chromosome can make such a big difference.
thenextdoorneighbor3 karma
I was quiet mostly. I think it is like any kid there will be downright frustrating ones and nice and calm ones. Although there are probably more extreme personalities I was kinda calm
thenextdoorneighbor9 karma
"Pufferfish"
It was not said in a positive tone and I can only assume it was directed towards my facial features
I usually just ignore them or laugh at their ignorance
DrSuviel8 karma
Fun fact: puffer fish are actually some of the most inquisitive and intelligent of all fish.
I have a tank of small fresh water puffers and they do tricks. Also they're cool looking, and in the wild many puffers contain enough toxins to kill pretty much anything that nibbles them super-dead.
Puffer fish fucking rule.
thenextdoorneighbor7 karma
Meh, had a boring summer day. But i will come to miss these days as the school year rolls along again haha
Releventcomments5 karma
Yep. That's how summer works. You get so excited and after three days your bored :*
thenextdoorneighbor4 karma
just a stock Proof Lab board. It was a present from an uncle of mine
Edit: i looked them up they are a local company from around where he lives
hoganlobbs3 karma
Thanks for a quick response! Where do you live? I ask because if you enjoy skateboarding, snowboarding might be a fun thing to try. I'm 15 as well, and started skating and migrated to snowboarding.
thenextdoorneighbor5 karma
Ignore it or laugh at their ignorance. I assume they have something painful going on in their lives that causes them to be so damaging to others
DrSuviel3 karma
Compared to a lot of other Redditors, you actually come across as quite intelligent. Given not only your condition but also your age, this is quite surprising.
Do you ever wonder how intelligent you yourself might have been if not for the extra 21st chromosome? It's entirely possible that you may have been a genius.
thenextdoorneighbor2 karma
Dammit, why did you do this haha, i do have spell check but ya thanks
SaltySeilde3 karma
That's awesome you have a super amazing mom who helps you out.
My question is, what are some things you enjoy doing with your mom?
Also, what are your plans for your future?
thenextdoorneighbor1 karma
we go on short excursions and just like each others company in general i feel she really understands me
SaltySeilde3 karma
Of course she understands you, silly goose. She's your mom. All moms understand their babies perfectly. :)
Its awesome you guys hang out a lot. Very cool.
thenextdoorneighbor1 karma
yes i believe even if i were to not have a disease we would still be very close!
Earthpegasus2 karma
I have known a few people with downs syndrome in my life, and none have been even CLOSE to this articulate. Is there something about the freedom and lack of time restriction on the internet that differentiates people from 'in person' communication?
thenextdoorneighbor2 karma
I have taught myself many thing by observation. I will say my case my symptoms are more minor, and yes i have spellcheck on full blast :)
Sasquatchiii2 karma
My brother has Downs Syndrome and he is about the same age as you. You are quite a bit more articulate than he is. He hasn't ever talked in a normal voice either. He has kind of a gravelly angry voice and is pretty aggressive sometimes. You can tell he has a cognitive deficiency but he has a way about himself where it almost seems like he thinks faster than he can speak. I also have another brother who does not have Downs, but he is mildly retarded. He speaks, looks, and acts pretty normal, but you can tell that he thinks much slower than my younger brother with downs.
So I have 3 questions for you.
Do you interact with other people with downs syndrome and are there big differences in cognitive function between them?
Do you get offended by the word "retarded" and is there a more proper term for a learning disability?
Have you ever seen "The Retarded Policeman" and if so, do you find his videos entertaining?
Thank you for the AMA!
thenextdoorneighbor1 karma
My voice is a bit off, i always have a frog in my throat. But i feel like your other brother. I feel normal but just am very slow and it is frustrating. I think retarded has become more of an insult and its not bad in itself it is just hard to say without it coming off as negative. Retarded Policeman was funny for a bit then got old, i dont think that was due to my illness lol
Couch_Potatoe2 karma
As someone with Down Syndrome do you get treated differently?(In a good or bad way) If so how ? And by the way thanks for doing this AMA I definitely learned a lot more on down syndrome
thenextdoorneighbor2 karma
I think people are more understanding of my slowness (good) but can expect me to be slow and belittle me (bad)
Couch_Potatoe2 karma
If I may ask how do you deal with it , Do you just plug it out ? Ignore them?
camsta952 karma
Hello, and thanks a bunch for doing this AMA! My question for you: How do I let a fellow student (who has Down syndrome) at my school know that I can't fulfill some of his requests? Short background: I befriend him when I saw him at fish camp(I was there volunteering to help new students), and he approached me and asked for my name. I responded, and immediately he unsheathed an address book. He then proceeded to write down my name, and ask for my number. I'd see him in he halls and give him a hug and he said we are good friends and it always makes me feel good knowing he has a friend in me. I walk with him to occasional classes and talk to him between periods. Recently, however, he has started texting me with favors to complete (driving 2 hours to a church on Sunday, taking him to the beach 3 hours away, etc). This began after school ended, and I cannot ignore these requests. However, I cannot fulfill them either, as I have a busy schedule with getting ready for college and working to acquire money. How do I go about letting him know this without being rude? (As of now, his emotional reactions have been upset and anger ): )
thenextdoorneighbor2 karma
I reccomend trying to explain the situation to him, say if you had to do this and this and that, how would you have time to bring me to the beach. Figure out how to do this in a nice caring tone
camsta952 karma
Thanks a bunch for the reply. I am just concerned as I don't want him to take it in any bad way whatsoever! I'd be devastated if he thought that now I'm out of high school, I have forgotten him as a friend. Also, I apologize for my wall of text.
thenextdoorneighbor1 karma
its ok! do you still have his phone number. Im sure a call, even once every two weeks could totally make him ecstatic.
qharouff2 karma
How well can you read? Can you read at all? And If so, what are your favorite books?
thenextdoorneighbor7 karma
My favorite book ever is The Glass Castle. Yes i can read at my grade level, which is very rare
ChampaLove5 karma
Have your read anything else by Jeanette Walls!? The Glass Castle was also my favorite. The Silver Star was pretty good to! (;
HeyBudHessel2 karma
Thank you so much for doing this AMA! I am going into the Human Services profession and hear a lot of conflicting information as to the "politically correct" way to reference various conditions. Terms such as, "living with a disability" versus "disabled" or "having a disability" are highly debated. From your personal and unique perspective, what is the most respectful way for another person to reference your situation?
[edit: I can't letters]
thenextdoorneighbor3 karma
Thinking about it I could see how "disabled" seems a bit harsh for anybody but i think it fits and anybody reasonable can see it that way also. If anyone overreacts over that they are just looking for something to argue with
thenextdoorneighbor3 karma
I skate and thats about it, I dont lift weights or go to the gym but i do keep a healthy and active lifestyle
RainbowNerdette2 karma
Do you prefer people to talk to you like they do to any young adult, only adjusting if you ask or let them know you can't follow the conversation. At the risk of them initially asking too much of you.
Or would you rather have people take your challenges into account right away, but risk them treating you like you are less capable than you are?
thenextdoorneighbor2 karma
I like being treated as a normal person so I can then be the one to ask "what" or "i dont understand" so that everything isnt completely dumbed down to the point where I can tell they think im stupid
alisaurus_rex2 karma
Hey man! First of all, I just wanted to say that you are unbelievably awesome and a special gift of light to the world - every individual I've ever met with down syndrome has been the sweetest, happiest, most light-hearted and loving person and each has touched my life deeply. I got so excited when I came across this AMA - thanks so much for sharing! Looking forward to reading it all :)
I'm currently an ABA therapist working toward becoming a BCBA, and I'd have way too many questions for this thread; but, if you were to give the best piece of advice for behavior therapists or alike to most effectively help/teach individuals with down syndrome, autism, etc., what would you recommend? I know everyone differs vastly in their functioning levels and learning styles, but just wanted a personal opinion on what worked/works best for you.
Thank you again for your helpful insight and commendable bravery! I am further inspired every day by individuals amongst the autism/down syndrome community, and will continue working tirelessly to spread awareness of the beauty, not tragedy, that stems from it.
thenextdoorneighbor1 karma
to be understanding as possible and be sensitive to our feelings. I dont know any other method that could work specifically for us.
brownboy131 karma
Could you please post a picture of yourself holding a piece of paper with your username on it? We've had people fake conditions like this before so I'd rather be safe.
thenextdoorneighbor3 karma
well its late now and im doing this in my bed, would i be able to do it tomorrow morning?
brownboy131 karma
Sorry, but I'm going to have to take down the AMA until you can provide proof. I'll happily re-instate it whenever you take the proof picture.
brownboy131 karma
Not a problem. Reply to this comment whenever you get the proof picture and I'll re-approve the AMA.
brownboy131 karma
Reply to any of my comments here with the proof picture and I'll approve the post, essentially undeleting it.
thenextdoorneighbor1 karma
okay thanks! im relatively new here and have never talked to a mid before! im honored lol
danimalod18 karma
Do you see your self differently than people without Down Syndrome? If so, when did you first realize it?
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