I live next to a rough neighborhood, and didn't realize how bad it was. I've lived in some bad places and this seemed no different. I decided that since the roads went in a big circle, that would be a good place to walk my dog. (He was a Shar-pei and big at that so I thought I would not catch any shit.) Well, my mistake for being nice to a guy that said hey to me one day, and we chatted, and got to know each other, he seemed nice. I would talk with him about 10-15 mins a day, and go on my way. Well one day he asks if I want to drink a few beers with him, and I told him to let me take my dog home, and I would come back. After doing so, we start getting a little drunk and playing a game of cards on his front stoop. He loses the game and as I didn't know how angry a drunk he got, flipped the table and started cursing me out. Push comes to shove, as I am not going to let anyone talk to me and push me like he was doing. So I hit him, and I guess the alcohol made him easily "knockout-able" and he fell out. As I was walking away, he had come to, went into his house, and chased me down, As it was dark, I could only hear him, not see him, but when I turned, he chopped at my neck with a machete. The next thing I know, I wake up a week later in ICU. Here is a potato pic of my neck. The scar goes all the way around to the back of my neck.

EDIT: I fell a few times walking to the neighbors house, I hit my head a few times, so much so I was told they induced a coma. I don't know why they put me in it, but I was conscious and awake the whole time up until the hospital. I did not get knocked out from falling.

TL;DR: An angry drunk got mad at me and hit me with a machete in the neck.


I know this is not that interesting, but I am bored. So AMA.

EDIT: Thank you for the gold.

Comments: 432 • Responses: 75  • Date: 

AskMeBromostAnything265 karma

Did you live?

TheTeamClinton344 karma

I don't know, I could still be in a coma.

Danikk34 karma

It has been reported that some coma patients retreat into a sort of fantasy world from which they could not wake up.
In this catatonic state, the patient lived in a world just like their normal one, except they were fully awake and in full control of their body. They are aware of the reason they are in hospital and think everything is under control again, that they are tended to and will be able to leave soon.
The only way that they realized they needed to wake up was a note or message or some kind of writing, in newspapers, in letters or in the internet, which they found in their fantasy world. It would tell them about their state, and tell them to wake up. Even then, it would often take months until they were ready to discard their fantasy world and please wake up.

TheTeamClinton18 karma

Dunk me.

milkshakeiu144 karma

Was this the first time you have been cut with a machete in the neck?

TheTeamClinton132 karma

Yes, but not the first time almost being decapitated. I almost did it when I was about 20, riding a dirt bike and hit a barb wire fence.

TheyShootBeesAtYou394 karma

Have you considered not doing things? Doing things seems to not be working out in your favor.

TheTeamClinton190 karma

When I do things, other things happen. I'm not a fan.

ca990138 karma

Given your history I would avoid fans.

TheTeamClinton109 karma

I am not a fan of fans.

CS_GO_Xbox142 karma

Did the word WASTED flash before your eyes before respawning outside the hospital?

But seriously, what happened after the first strike you just blacked out?

How come the scar is so long? What do you think he did after the first chop?

Do you feel discomfort when talking about this, like any PTSD or does it not bother you anymore.

ps. I'm glad you are alive.

TheTeamClinton107 karma

  1. I am glad it didn't

2.I thought he slapped me, the blade was sharp and didn't hurt.

3.The blade chopped through my entire neck, luckily it did not my jugular.

4.I have PSTD, but only little things are different like dreams are more lucid.

& Thank you.

ScienceShawn37 karma

How did it not chop through your jugular? It looks like it went straight through. How close was it to cutting your jugular? Did it hit it and not cut it but just pull on it? Sorry about all the questions, I'm just incredibly surprised it didn't cut clean through it.

TheTeamClinton52 karma

I was told it was centimeters. The "lucky to be alive" and "It was a miracle" were phrases thrown around. I make light of it, but I know how lucky I am.

Loggerman23117 karma

Picture of the dog...... Please?

TheTeamClinton302 karma

tr3vw34 karma

Do you still think Jo Jo makes a good guard dog, or has he lost that privilege?

TheTeamClinton124 karma

He died about 5 months ago. I have a new pup. Yoshi

Scribshanks69 karma

Did Jo Jo ever have a bizarre adventure?

TheTeamClinton167 karma

Once we left out of town, and him, my other dog, and our cat tried tracking us down across the country. There was a mountain lion, a mean animal clinic, and a lot of montages.

Axelfbomber52 karma

So what you are saying they were bound for home?

TheTeamClinton51 karma

Somewhat of an incredible journey.

stopbuffering14 karma

I don't think Jo Jo was there when this happened

TheTeamClinton19 karma

He wasn't I dropped him off right before I went back over.

samsquanchin89 karma

That is very interesting. Do you think that he meant to kill you with the hit or just cut you? The area of the cut leads me to believe he wanted to kill you but if so why would he only strike once?

TheTeamClinton182 karma

You know, I have no idea. I was told that he couldn't be charged with "attempted murder" because he didn't say anything along the lines of "I want to kill you". But I figure, if you come at someone with that large of a weapon, you have nothing in mind other than taking that persons life. But like I said, I have no clue.

BoomBlasted87 karma

I'm not trying to bash the US or anything, but some of your laws seems fucking broken.

thesecretbarn83 karma

That's an English common law definition that stretches back hundreds of years before the US was founded.

It's not about saying the magic words or not, it's about being able to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that he possessed the intent to kill. Intent is a difficult thing to prove.

TheTeamClinton33 karma

That's what I gathered from it. I've also heard it is extremely expensive to head up that kind of investigation, but that is just second hand hear say.

samsquanchin40 karma

Did you have to cover all of the medical bills yourself? Also how was the recovery process after you woke up? Any nerve or muscle damage?

TheTeamClinton152 karma

The state paid for about 15k on a 200k medical bill. I think I will be in debt my whole life. I tried to see about suing him, but he had nothing, like I said, it was all in a bad neighborhood.

Smaggies74 karma

Sorry, I don't mean to derail your thread or get all political but if someone TRIES TO MURDER YOU in the US, there's no way you can cover the damages if that person happens to be poor? That seems mental.

TheTeamClinton50 karma

In my case, it is sad but true.

McFemale24 karma

This is making me mad. You must be livid. You don't have 200k and he doesn't have 200k so out of the two people who could be given the debt, YOU get it???

TheTeamClinton14 karma

Never thought of it like that. Damn good point.

Smaggies20 karma

Well, I have massive respect for how philosophical you're being about it...if that's any consolation.

TheTeamClinton16 karma

Thank you.

samsquanchin30 karma

Have you thought about one of the online fund campaigns such as gofundme.com? I am sure that the reddit community would offer some support even if it is only a portion of the bills for a short time.

TheTeamClinton70 karma

I wouldn't mind something like that, but I don't think I could ask for money for something that is not someone else's fault. It's not their problem.

r3vOG24 karma

Have you thought about changing countries? Maybe Canada? Fuck that debt.

TheTeamClinton42 karma

I want to move to Norway.

KFBR392_66 karma

Sick scar, dude. Bitches must love that shit.

TheTeamClinton100 karma

They do.

Leporad34 karma

Do they love men in debt?

TheTeamClinton70 karma


lolzergrush50 karma

I know this is not that interesting, but I am bored. So AMA.

It is interesting, don't sell yourself short. I'm glad you survived.

A week in ICU? Damn. I know this might seem like an overreaction, but don't be afraid to meet with a counselor to diagnose PTSD. There's no shame in it and you don't have to wait until the symptoms show up, in fact it's best not to.

Also what game were you playing?

TheTeamClinton41 karma


didly52 karma

Haha, Spades is such a jailhouse game. You should have known right away this guy was trouble.

TheTeamClinton57 karma

I should have just asked to play Dominos.

TheTeamClinton27 karma


phantomliger33 karma

What happened to him? Legally I mean? He better have been arrested.

TheTeamClinton55 karma

He was arrested, I think that same night, or in the early morning. He was charged with 2 counts of agg assault with a deadly weapon. He's serving a 15 do 10 and banished from the county.

phantomliger33 karma

Banished? Wow. Well I hope you are okay. Any lingering effects besides the scar?

TheTeamClinton69 karma

I can scratch behind my ear, and feel it in my lower back, and visa versa.

RZHREJ29 karma

Who found you?

TheTeamClinton68 karma

A neighbor. It happened right behind where I was living. They were having a BBQ and hear the shouting. When I was walking away, they called me over (At the same time they called the cops) and told me to lay down it was bad. I didn't think so because it didn't hurt. Then I saw all the blood and decided to listen to them. Within the next 30 mins I was at Grady Hospital in Atlanta. Great medical team by the way.

steven959514 karma

Where near ATL was this? I'd just like to know so I don't end up moving there. Thanks OP.

TheTeamClinton51 karma

It is near a place called Douglas county. Don't ever go into metro Atlanta, because YOU WILL GET MURDERED! Everyone here knows it, it is the "out of towners" that need to be educated. STAY AWAY! (I'm not kidding)

Weeberz14 karma

God dammit this would happen in atlanta. Finally see something happening here and its yet another attempted murder

TheTeamClinton21 karma

God dammit this would happen in atlanta

How I feel exactly.

Kratos_8127 karma

  1. How deep into your neck did the blade go exactly?
  2. How long ago did this happen?
  3. Do people constantly stare at the scar when talking to you?

Glad you pulled through btw.

TheTeamClinton37 karma

  1. It went 3 inches in. Barley missing my vocal box by centimeters.

  2. About 2 years ago.

3.I don't know, I haven't paid that much attention, and if the are, I don't mind.

& thank you.

davewade26 karma

Why do you think he didn't cut you a second time?

TheTeamClinton36 karma

I don't know, I think he was trying to impress the people around him. And once he knew he messed up, he took off.

Eredelis13 karma

Wait, how many people were there?

TheTeamClinton32 karma

Him and two others. They left after he shoved me. I think they knew something bad was about to happen.

scott_lyon25 karma


TheTeamClinton32 karma

I like imports, but that day we were drinking Budweiser.

Barseps22 karma

Sorry to hear this dude. Whereabouts did this happen?..... I wanna add it to my list of "don't go there"

TheTeamClinton44 karma

Atlanta. Enter at your own risk.

tatumc12 karma

Holy crap. What area?

TheTeamClinton21 karma

Southwest metro Atlanta. Near Fulton.

tatumc13 karma

Yikes. I am on the east side, which is only slightly better.

TheTeamClinton24 karma

Avoid Sandy Springs. That place is horrible.

skubito22 karma

how does it feel to have a metal blade on your neck??

TheTeamClinton33 karma

I thought he slapped me. The blade was so sharp, I felt almost nothing.

HeisenburgerAndFries18 karma

Who fed your dog?

TheTeamClinton21 karma

My girlfriend. She lives with me.

roofus1416 karma

How often do strangers ask what happened when they notice the scar? Do you ever make a different story up?

TheTeamClinton35 karma

I always tell the truth, people seem to enjoy the pain of others. Plus it is a bad ass scar. I embrace it.

legendhillary16 karma

Do you have a fear of knifes or sharp object now?

TheTeamClinton21 karma

No. I somehow pulled through.

beaverburgular16 karma

Would you rather 100 machete sized horses or 1 horse sized machete?

TheTeamClinton23 karma

Easy: 100 machete sized horses.

AskIfYouPlayPokemon15 karma

Do you play Pokemon

TheTeamClinton17 karma

I did a while ago. But in my defense, I loved Gameboy.

leaffall14 karma


botticus5114 karma

Wow. Sorry this happened to you man. How long ago did this happen and how often do you think about this a day?

TheTeamClinton27 karma

About 2 years ago, and I don't think about it much, except for when I am shaving.

cleavers8813 karma

Favourite band?

TheTeamClinton25 karma

Jimi Hendrix.

bear-knuckle12 karma

How do you feel about gun control?

TheTeamClinton34 karma

I think mental background checks are more important than criminal background checks.

turbosexophonicdlite12 karma

How do you feel about machete control?

TheTeamClinton21 karma

I'm against it. No one should own a machete. They are dangerous. It is not the person behind the weapon, but the weapon itself. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a machete, is a good guy with.....a quick enough response time to call 911.

buddylee_moa12 karma

Did you ever find out if the guy had any mental issues ?

TheTeamClinton20 karma

Actually, I found out through some research that he had a violent history. Mostly with family members and even sexually assaulted his niece.

thisonehereone11 karma

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

TheTeamClinton34 karma

Still_Sinning11 karma

Do you still live in the same neighborhood? If so, why? If I were you I'd get out of there asap. If someone slashes my neck, I know it's time to gtfo.

TheTeamClinton17 karma

I do, but I somehow got a lot of respect around the area. I am not "that guy" but it is cool seeing people nod and wave at you. They didn't do that before.

HowlingMadMurphy11 karma

Does watching Dewey Cox give you the creeps now?

TheTeamClinton8 karma

He was cut lower than me. If I was a ghost I would kill myself.

DrEntly10 karma

There 4 things need to know.

1) What game were you playing?

2) Do you abuse your scar for Halloween?

3) Can you eat cereal?

4) Pending on question 3 what is your favorite cereal?

TheTeamClinton12 karma

  1. Spades.

  2. I haven't Yet


  1. Golden Ghrams.

RIPGeorgeHarrison7 karma

If you remember the pain from that, what was it like? Also ( I'm assuming it was light enough to see), when you saw the machete, what thoughts ran through your head at that moment?

TheTeamClinton17 karma

It was dark. I didn't hear him coming up. He shoved me, I punched him, he ran to his house, grabbed the machete, and came back and hit me. He had a chain wallet on, that's all I could hear approaching.

iloveartichokes31 karma

of course it's a guy with a friggen chain wallet

TheTeamClinton20 karma

It's always the guy with the chain wallet.

TryNstopME0246 karma

I couldn't imagine what you went through while a maniac came at you with a machete. What was your mindset right before it happened? Was the guy on any type of drugs? Are you always expecting the worse out of people now?

TheTeamClinton17 karma

I was just a little aggravated that I chose the wrong person to hang out with. I'd like to think I can catch the character of a person before some shit like this would happen. I don't know if he was on drugs, but he seemed normal. And no, I don't expect the worst, but just reminds me of the way people can be sometimes, even if that is not them. Something might bring out the worst in them. Anything can be toxic, it just depends on the way certain things effect them.

chocolatesandwiches6 karma

How did you get to a hospital?

TheTeamClinton7 karma

I was life flighted to the hospital in the metro area.

FeelTheWrath795 karma

I am confused. He chopped at your neck with a machete, and the next thing you know, you woke up a week later in ICU? So you don't remember walking to your neighbor's and lying down? I guess I am just assuming that you blacked out as soon as he chopped your head.

How long was the recovery?

TheTeamClinton12 karma

I was awake and conscious up until I was put in the I.C.U. Sort of. I remember walking away from him, the people helping me, being put into the back of an ambulance, then in a helicopter and (Some) of the ER. After that I don't remember anything.

buddylee_moa23 karma

Chopper : once that bird hits the sky your bankrupt

TheTeamClinton29 karma

18k on a 10 minute helicopter ride.

FeelTheWrath796 karma

Did they induce your coma?

TheTeamClinton15 karma

Yes they did. I fell after loosing roughly 3 liters of blood. I hit the concrete. I (thought). I was fine until I got into the helicopter and the EMT started cracking morbid jokes with me. Then I kind of thought I was done.

lonely-little-eskimo6 karma

What kind of morbid jokes?

TheTeamClinton18 karma

I asked him if I was dying, and he said something along the lines of "Only if you're trying to be funny" after I was making light of the situation.

Pachyderm_Powertrip4 karma

Maybe there's something I didn't read. What ultimately saved your life? It wasn't a killing blow, luckily, but how did you even manage to 'get away/avoid further attack' after he thwacked you. Glad you'll be seeing more of your crazy life, thank you for the AMA.

EmptyAy9 karma

It doesn't seem like the dude was really thinking straight. He probably grabbed the machete to seem tough, then after the one hit realized that he probably just killed a dude and got the fuck outta there.

TheTeamClinton6 karma

I think that is what happened too. I don't know what he was thinking, but it just doesn't seem like life in prison is worth a game of cards.

Airysprite4 karma

Does your PTSD only consist of dreaming about it?

TheTeamClinton8 karma

Yes, so far. I (somewhat) know what it does to a person, because I was witness to my fathers death. The drugs didn't help then, and they didn't help this time around. I am not "traumatized" by the events, I just wish there were things I could have done differently. So far it has only been dreams and none of them consist of the attack, just more vivid memories of whatever crazy shit I dream of that night.

eraof93 karma

Is your shar pei okay?

Did the guy got arrested?

What happened from the time you got chopped until you woke up?

TheTeamClinton5 karma

1.He died about 5 months ago.

2.Yes he's serving a 15 do 10.

3.It was all black. I got to the ER and then woke up a week later, not remembering anything.

vrnate2 karma

You are in an empty waiting room, waiting for an appointment. There are 15 empty chairs. You get up and use the restroom. When you return to sit down, do you choose the same seat you had before or choose a new one?

TheTeamClinton14 karma

Depending on who else is sitting in the room now. I might have gotten up to use the restroom, just so I can come back and sit next to the cute girl.

annieasylum2 karma

I feel like a dick for asking, but curiosity has a hold on me...

What do you think of slasher movies (Friday the 13th, Halloween) since this happened? Like, do they trigger any more anxiety than they did before?

TheTeamClinton4 karma

Nothing "triggers" me, but I do point out inaccuracies that are wildly over or under done. Like someone gets hit in the neck with a spike or something and they immediately die. I'm like "THEY COULD HAVE LIVED ANOTHER 20 MINUTES!"

zxcv732 karma

What city was this in?

TheTeamClinton2 karma


caitlinbabera2 karma

You mentioned that your father died before this happened. It made me curious, did you have any family or friends who came to be with you in the hospital and afterwards? I sure hope so. Glad to see you're doing alright and aren't too traumatized. I hope you win the lottery or something someday, medical bills are awful.

TheTeamClinton3 karma

Just my girlfriend. Sadly, I lost most of my family from being an atheist. I live in the south, and that's pretty much damnation.

aaronis10 karma

I once drunkenly swung a machete at a friend.

How do you feel about me?

TheTeamClinton1 karma

You should find another drink, or limit your drinking. If you always act violent, then stop drinking all together.

timebombx-14 karma

Probaly shouldnt have punched an obviously drunken man on his own property and expected to get away with it. Hindsight is always 20/20. Sounds like self defense to me. You dont come to someone's home and attack them.

curtcolt955 karma

Self defense when he was walking away and done with the fight? Yeah... makes sense

TheTeamClinton1 karma

Exactly what happened.