Further proof: This is my game face And my not so game face

Comments: 398 • Responses: 72  • Date: 

MelanLady94 karma

How can it be an all boy team if you are on it?

fiddleandthedrum51 karma

Touche ;)

ol_green_boots51 karma

What position did you play and did the other team go hard on you?

fiddleandthedrum65 karma

First year I played defensive half back; second year linebacker. They usually didnt even realize I was a girl until the end of the game when I took my helmet off, so id say I got it just as hard as the rest of my team.

remote_production24 karma

How big were you? Not an easy position for even med sized guys. That's awesome.

fiddleandthedrum39 karma

Not big. Just average sized. Really not too hard playing against the guys we were playing against. If you know how to tackle properly size shouldnt truly matter that much.

dluksa17 karma

Defensive half back? Uhhh. I'm a little confused.

fiddleandthedrum13 karma

Lol American football. Not soccer.

dluksa14 karma

No I'm aware... I play American football. I've never heard of a defensive halfback though, to be honest.

fiddleandthedrum10 karma

The guy beside the line backers on either side?? Not sure. Thats just what they called me.

DiggingNoMore48 karma

Would you be opposed to a boy playing on an all-girls team?

fiddleandthedrum107 karma

I wouldnt, but I do understand why it doesnt make any sense for the opposite gender to play on the team. Guys are generally a lot stronger than girls, so I think that would give them an unfair advantage, where if a girl plays on the boys team she needs to acknowledge that she is taking a risk and will need to accept the consequences. Nothing drives me crazier than seeing guys go easier on a girl who is playing with generally all males. She wouldnt be there if she wanted you to go easier on her. That being said, if the girl does expect special treatment, she needs to gtfo.

TheJonesSays19 karma

Went to a single A high school and some girl tried this. Concussion within first five minutes of first full contact practice. She outweighed our running back by a 50lbs. For many reasons, including that, she lasted one season to make a point. Never saw a play in a varsity game.

fiddleandthedrum16 karma

Thats fair. Some girls are cut out for it, some are not. I think a lot of it has to do with not knowing proper tehnique vs being a girl.

ktbird76 karma

She wouldnt be there if she wanted you to go easier on her.

I was the only girl on my boys high school ice hockey team and I agree with you.

For me, I found it quite insulting when people would say I got things because I was "the girl". My teammates respected me because I was one of the best players. I never asked for or expected special treatment.

My dad tells me that parents from other teams would often come up to him and ask if I was, "a guy with long hair or a girl" because they genuinely couldn't tell. I didn't behave or act any differently than the rest of the team, but the long blonde hair out the back of my helmet combined with the smaller stature made them realize that I might actually be a girl, not just a guy with long hair, hence the question.

The only time that I enjoyed being called out for being "the girl" was when I was being an inspiration to younger girls like on the 10 year olds team. I took a lot of pride in showing them that it wasn't just a boys sport.

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

Absolutely! Where do you live? Were there girls teams avaliable to you or did you just want more of a challenge?

VoteForDiego5 karma


fiddleandthedrum15 karma

A couple of people have made good points about thinkig it is unfair for a girl to put them in the situation of having to hit a girl, but like I have said if a girl is playing in a guys sport she should be aware that she is taking the risk and not expect nor want to be treated any differently. Anddd some people are just closed minded and have been calling me a lesbian. Either way thank you for being open to this :)

tukarjerbs1 karma

Its also incredibly unfair for a girl to put a guy in that position. We have grown up not being aggressive and physical with females, And now all the sudden that has to change? I'm sorry but I can't get red zone and come flying in with the speed and power that could break someone's ribs with a hit, knowing I'm going to be crushing a girl. I'm sorry thats not in my nature to hit girls out of sport, and to ignore or even refute that is so beyond words.

fiddleandthedrum8 karma

That is fair and I completely understand that point of view. I was in div 3 so we didnt really face any guys who were able to deliver a hit like that but in div 1 there are and I have never seen a girl make a div 1 team here, so theres that. Also I was on defense so I was doing the tackling. In practice we would hit eachother but not as hard as we could, just as hard as we needed to. Trust me if my school offered a girls football team I would have been playing on that instead.

Herdnerfer39 karma

How many of those guys penises did you see? (We were all thinking it)

fiddleandthedrum45 karma

None! We didn't change in the same change rooms, I might add.

jabroni_joints22 karma

How much do you bench?

fiddleandthedrum25 karma

Lol I dont.

The_Spider-Man21 karma

You guys don't bench?

fiddleandthedrum29 karma

Like I said, my team really wasnt very serious nor good.

Mande1baum5 karma

That's really unfortunate (it's great to have a numeric metric to quantify your progress). I know kids who are middle schoolers playing 8 man for a small christian school on a brand new team in a brand new league who are already lifting. When I was in high school, even girls for other sports were frequently working out too, as well as people who opted out to lift instead of gym class (that was a cool system my school had). Kinda assumed it came with the territory. Did your school not have the appropriate equipment (a proper gym is hella expensive)?

fiddleandthedrum14 karma

We had a decent gym, I just think in Canada or maybe just my school, it wasnt a huge deal. Or maybe it was between the guys and just not me.

WKTT_Radio13 karma


fiddleandthedrum36 karma

I always threw the ball around with my friends growing up but it actually was a rebellion thing. I got cut from the volleyball team because the coach was super religious and heard me swear in the try outs. I was outraged, marched outside and saw the football team practicing -my buddy ran up and was talking to me and suggested I try out for football. At first I just laughed but then I got to thinking. And so it goes.

fiddleandthedrum23 karma

Also in Canada they don't offer girls football teams like they do in the states. Best decision I ever made. Still is to this day my favorite sport to play. I'm really glad I got to experience it.

Dadchores27 karma

I don't know of any girls high school football teams in the states. The women's tackle teams that exist are 18+. There are some flag football teams and leagues, but if you want to play tackle here, ya gotta play with the boys. Good for you for going for it!

fiddleandthedrum6 karma

Really? Oh I have a few friends in the states who told me about powder puff football or something? Not entirely sure.

Dadchores31 karma

That is flag, not tackle, and it's one game per year.

fiddleandthedrum17 karma

Oh that is so lame! Womens football in higg schools should be a thing, I just dont know if it would get enough interest. :(

WKTT_Radio3 karma


fiddleandthedrum2 karma

Thanks! :)

Dadchores10 karma

Have you gotten any interceptions or made any memorable plays that stick with you?

fiddleandthedrum23 karma

No interceptions, a couple where I knocked the ball down out of the air which was cool. It all sort of melds together, but I do remember one time there was this massive guy on the other team that they kept running down the middle and no one on my team was catching on and I took him out numerous times causing him a lot of frustation and their offence to change up what used to work well for them.

Memorable embarrassing moment however is easier to recall. First game playing ever, still not entirely clear of the rules - I tackled a guy who didn't have the ball nor was even being thrown the ball. I think I just kind of thought you tackled your man no matter what. Stupid, embarrassing, but memorable. And I learnt from my mistake haha.

Dadchores5 karma

Nice! That's an awesome feeling when you're the difference maker. And hey, everyone messes up sometimes. Our punter entirely missed the ball once. Swing and a miss. If you can learn from it and laugh, that's the important part.

fiddleandthedrum5 karma

Yea exactly.

fuscescens10 karma

Do you play rugby or have any desire to? I'd recommend it if you still want to hit people.

fiddleandthedrum33 karma

Football is during the fall in Canada so Rugby was my spring sport. Which leads me to my second favourite sport ever. I am head over heels in love with Rugby. We were one of the three teams in my school that actually did well, the girls were amazing and the sport... oh that sport. Football is a barbarians sport played by gentleman and rugby is a gentlemans sport played by barbarians. I was the 8 man.

SG_Dave5 karma

I always knew it as, Rugby is a sport played by gentlemen with oddly shaped balls.

Best goddamn sport on the planet though.

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

Absolutely in agreeance

thoraway1234110 karma


Stories of sexism?

Best Experience?

Worst Experience?

Any days you felt like quitting and why?

Your a inspiration, keep at it!

fiddleandthedrum44 karma

Sexism: One guy quit the team "because I joined and girls shouldnt play football". I think he was just upset that I took his position because I was better than him. Best experience: Hearing "holy shit, number 23 was a girl!" after shaking their hands after the game with my helmet off. Worst experience and wanting to quit: This douche on our team was purposefully trying to hit me harder than everyone in practice, which in turn did the opposite and made me want to work harder to prove him wrong. I did. No quitting for me.

Blf20018 karma

Hey! I play hockey on an all boys team. Since your in Canada do you play hockey?

fiddleandthedrum7 karma

I dont, but I have a bunch of friends who do. However they play on all girls teams. One friend of mine used to play all boys because she was in a small town and there werent any girls teams. I know some girls who played baseball for a whike before switching to fast pitch.

I know how to skate, my husband is a hockey player and I love watching the sport, just never took it up. Super expensive to get into recreationally, as I'm sure you know haha. How many years have you been playing?

Blf20014 karma

I've been playing for six years now. Its been lots of fun but this might be my last year of boys hockey before switching to all girls.

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

Thats awesome! Have you noticed any sexism toward you?

Blf20015 karma

Not really, unless online and someone says shit about women's hockey. That makes me mad especially since the U.S Women's teaam is doing awesome in the olympics this year.

fiddleandthedrum4 karma

Almost as good as the Canadian team ;) just kidding haha

uninnocent7 karma

What was your most positive experience playing with the guys?

fiddleandthedrum18 karma

Just the comraderie of it all. Significantly different than girls teams. It's a lot more like a brotherhood than just friends you play with. Also the surprised looks on their faces when I would tackle them in practice, or the impressed looks and high fives after making a good tackle in a game. Overall the entire experience was amazing.

beetnemesis3 karma

What are girls' teams like?

fiddleandthedrum5 karma

Like regular girls teams? Totally depends on the team and the sport. I found volleyball was very catty and dramatic whereas rugby and fastball have been much less so. There is still some drama but Ive been pretty lucky with my teams.

nblood247 karma

How many sacks did you get

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

Only two or three maybe my whole time playing.

shuri7 karma

Did your classmates / family give you a hard time?

fiddleandthedrum12 karma

Classmates definately not. I had a few people question my sexuality, but it was very obvious pretty quickly that I was just a girl who played football. Generally people looked up to me - girls especially and teachers. People knew me around school as "the girl on the football team". I was the first girl to ever play on our team, and the next year we had two more girls so that was kind of cool.

My parents didnt really like the whole full contact thing, but it wasnt an issue in grade 10 and 11 when the guys were generally pretty scrawny. I was however, not allowed to play in my last year of high school because my parents didnt want me to try and face seniors, so that sucked .

DragonRaptor4 karma

What province did you play in? When I played high school football in Manitoba, grades 10 - 12 all played together on one team? We played one team that had a girl, but she was just a kicker, not a hitter like yourself.

fiddleandthedrum5 karma

Alberta. I think because the high schools are probably a lot bigger is why they split the teams into juniors and seniors. I live in Calgary. My school had 2500 students i think? Maybe less. More around 2000. Anyway the interest dropped so much by my grade 12 year that they did end up putting the juniors and seniors together just to try and be able to be selective and form as good of a team as possible. So far - unsuccessful.

Gnodgnod3 karma

kelowna resident here. every time i hear the name calgary, all i can think of the sea of red license plates we get during the summer.

fiddleandthedrum2 karma

We love the shit out of the okanogan. And Ogo Pogo of course.

mariow086 karma

What do you think of the 2006 Cinematic Masterpiece, She's the Man, starring Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum?

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

I LOVE that movie. I mean Channing is adorable, Amanda is hilarious, and it also brings to light a lot of sexism that girls experience in sports. Its a win win win.

eratru6 karma

I'm on the wrestling team in my high school, and this year we finally had girls on the team and it was weird for the guys. How did the guys adapt and did you come across any sexist situations/people?

fiddleandthedrum6 karma

I bet that would be weird. It wasnt a super huge deal because we always had equiptment on but I remember one time this guy tackled me and wound up on top of me and smiled and asked me on a date... so theres that. Haha.

Some sexism, but very short lived when I proved I was just as good, if not better than some of then.

eratru3 karma

Did you say yes?

fiddleandthedrum7 karma

Haha I didnt. It was pretty awkward. I friendzoned him pretty hard.

JerkChickenThroway5 karma

What was the hardest hit you ever took?

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

It was after a practice and we were walking inside when one of the seniors challenged me to tackle him. And he was huge. Their offensive center. And me being cocky and wanting to show off agreed. Anyway, we hit hard and both ended up with minor concussions. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing but my team was super nice and cool about it.

pleasuremaker5 karma

You still gave him a concussion.-^

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

At least theres that.

stickytoe4 karma

Do you feel you made the team because you were legitimately better than someone else who could play the same position? Or was the team small enough that it generally took most people who tried out?

edit: words

fiddleandthedrum7 karma

It for sure took everyone. My school is infamous for how terrible our football team is just because we have no choice of players and have to accept everyone in order to have numbers. I'm sure they were skeptical at first but I quickly proved to them that I was an asset and replaced a guy in first line. Second year I was captain of the defence.

stickytoe2 karma

So you were at least the best of the shit pile? :P In all seriousness, well done OP

fiddleandthedrum1 karma

Thanks stickytoe!

twerpies4 karma

How do you think your skills would be, compared to the boys?

fiddleandthedrum6 karma

Completely depends on the player. I was one of the top three tacklers on my team though.

[deleted]4 karma

Football record?

fiddleandthedrum8 karma

Bismal. Our team was terrible. But I like to think I played well.

[deleted]5 karma


fiddleandthedrum6 karma

Oh no! You are right!

[deleted]4 karma


fiddleandthedrum5 karma

Sporrs bras are pretty good at holding them down.

fiddleandthedrum2 karma


Agent_5454 karma

What's the etymology of your username?

fiddleandthedrum2 karma

It was a ballet put on danced to the music of Joni Mitchell. I dont know why, I just really liked how it sounded and have been using it for ages.

sharkdog734 karma

I have two daughters who I have always encouraged to be whatever they wanted. What advice would you give them to help break the gender barrier?

fiddleandthedrum21 karma

Our world is changing and growing so much, making a lot of things acceptable that really weren't in the past. I have always been raised to be who I am, do what makes me happy and not worry about the limitations the world puts on you. I was a tomboy yet played with barbies and planned my wedding since I was six. I was an athlete, played on a boys football team, yet I am now married and wanting to be a stay at home mom. I think there is so much sexism that goes both ways. It's okay to like to get dirty and play sports, but it's also okay to love baking and want to be a stay at home mom. Neither of these things define who you are. I guess what comes to mind is a quote from an interview with the author of Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin. "How do you write women so well?" the reporter asked. "Well it's simple," he replied, "women are people too." Of course I am paraphrasing but it is just generally the idea that we seperate ourselves into gender roles when really we should just embrace ourselves as we are, as humans, and not shy away from the things that make us happy.

Intellectualificator7 karma


fiddleandthedrum16 karma


BigMacCombo3 karma

Did the team undergo weight training sessions? If so, did you train with them and how were your lifts?

fiddleandthedrum6 karma

We trained in the weight room on days that it was shitty outside, but generally it was mostly just drills, lines, hills, hitting the tackle machine (no idea of the proper name for this). I am not strong by any means, especially in upper body strength. But my lower body was certainly there for me, which I think is the most important part in tackling. I never had an issue, needing to be stronger in my arms and core.

facewook3 karma

How did the locker room situation work out? Having played football, the locker room was a place where we sweat, bled, and built moral together. Were you able to get the most of this, or did you have another arrangement?

fiddleandthedrum2 karma

I wasnt. I changed in the girls locker room, and heard stories from the inside of the boys but for the most part I am glad I didnt have to experience some of the stupid shit they did in the locker room. Haha.

facewook1 karma

Haha, lucky you, you never got Icy Hot in your chin strap. Was it at all weird going to the girl's locker room all alone after a game when all the guys went into the guy's locker room?

fiddleandthedrum2 karma

Not weird, sometimes lonely. Mostly nice having the changing room all to myself.

roastedbagel3 karma

Can you post proof that's you in the pictures so we know you didn't find this album somewhere?

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

Currently in bed, but ill post proof tomorrow :)

AnderZorn3 karma

Was there ever any "groping" when tackled or in a pile up? If so, how common was it? What were your thoughts?

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

Not at all. In fact I would be impressed if they were able to with all of that equiptment and grossed out and embarrassed because of all the sweat.

Messiah_793 karma

Every since Michael Sam, the openly gay potential NFL draft stepped out to the public, there has been debates about it. One in particular is how the team would react in the locker room. My question to you is this: As a girl who played HS football on an all boys team, would you feel comfortable/uncomfortable with taking a shower with the boys. Can you relate to the locker room situation?

fiddleandthedrum2 karma

Haha absolutely uncomfortable! I wouldnt let those guys see me naked in a hundred years. They may see me as their sister on the field but they are still boys. Teenage, hormonal, horny boys. I changed in the girls locker room while they changed in the guys.

Regarding having gay football players in the change rooms in the NFL I say, are you attracted to every single person if the opposite sex? No. Its different. They are adults. They have seen it all before. And usually when someone is gay and they know that you arent they have no interest at all because why would they?

Halizo2 karma

Did you face discrimination when you first joined the team?

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

A very small amount, but yes.

Halizo2 karma

If you don't mind me asking, what happened?

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

One guy quit the team because he thought a girl shouldnt be playing football. i thijk it was just because I took his position first string.

optimalnoodle2 karma

More a question about the team than you. I'd read in the comments it was a pretty big school for your city and wanted to know how large you'd say on average the players were per position, like height and weight for OL/DL, DBs, LB and RBs, just to get a feel for Canadian football.

So...mind helping me out?

fiddleandthedrum3 karma

For a div 3 canadian football team, average about 150-200 pounds. We had a couple of the lines men who were just really fat dudes, but generally we were a pretty small team. We had like three or four big guys maximum. Div 1 teams though you wont see that. Theyre bigger and more fit.

reallyreallywhite2 karma

Was it difficult at first to establish yourself as an equally respected player? Did anyone give you a hard time or was your team like a family?

fiddleandthedrum2 karma

My team was definately my family. They were my brothers and I was their sister. In my second year when most of the guys were younger they looked up to me and came to me for girl advice haha so that was pretty cool. I did see a luttle bit of sexism but it quickly stopped as I proved I was there for a reason.

Philanthropiss2 karma

How big of a slut did the school think you were?

fiddleandthedrum2 karma

We didnt really have a super typical high school with cliques and rumours but Im sure some people questioned it. But anyone who knew me liked me and understood why I was playing.

JoshCarter42 karma

Have any of the guys on the team flirted with you? How was the the sexual tension, if there was any?

You said in another answer that you didn't change in the same place. Does that mean that you had your own special room to change in, you just had to go change elsewhere (ie you could change anywhere, just not with the guys), or...?

fiddleandthedrum5 karma

No at my school we had girls locker rooms and guys locker rooms. I changed with the girls.

I actually dated one of the guys on my team in grade 10. He was not very attractive but such a great football player it really didnt matter... haha. I was flirted with and asked out a couple of times, but mostly I was just another one of the guys out on the field. I would not have flirted with me the way I smelled in that gear.. just saying. Teenage boys really must be desperate.

Trlckery2 karma

I'm not sure how to feel about girls taking part in full contact sports with guys. I know it sounds sexist and all but I think it's bullshit to put guys guys on the other team in that position. It's awkward. I wrestled in high school and I remember one high school in the area had a girl wrestler a weight class below me. She was terrible at wrestling but the funny thing was, she actually won a lot of matches (not actually a lot, but a lot more than she should have.) Why? Because nobody wants to slam a girl on the mat the same way they would had their opponent been a guy. No one wants to grope a girl in front of a few hundred parents. Everyone dreaded wrestling her. I think it's bullshit.

As that girl what are your thoughts on this?

fiddleandthedrum2 karma

I have been asked this a few times in this thread actually. In wrestling I understand a little bit more because there is no protection or anything blocking between the two of you and as males especially going through puberty how are you not expected to feel uncomfortable about it? I understand your standpoint but I also believe that if a girl is joining a guys sport, she is acknowledging that she is taking a risk and that she could get hurt but that she doesnt expect any different treatment and would actually be offended if you give it to her. Its one of the most annoying things to me when girls expect special treatmeant. When it comes to being told not to hit a girl your whole life, I get it but its a sport. It is completely different. It isnt hitting someone innocent and for no reason.

phillykoala2 karma

How was it an all boys team if you played on it!?

Op pls repund

In all seriousness, if you could go back to before you played, what would you do differently to prepare for the world of football or in the world of football? Would you even play at all (can't imagine you not)?

fiddleandthedrum1 karma

I woukd have probably joined a team when I was younger. Recreationally. I love football.

crystal_bubbles2 karma

Whats are your plans for your sporting career after you finish school? Will you continue playing the sport or look for alternatives?

fiddleandthedrum2 karma

I have been out of school now for two years. I played womens fastball last summer (have played that for 12 years), I snowboard in the winter, but unfortunately due to lack of money I mostly stopped playing sports and just stick to the gym. I do plan on joining a soccer team this summer, rec volleyball in the winter, maybe try and pick up tennis. I would love to get back into rugby or join a womens football team, but I'm going to be a mom in March and not sure if the risk is worth it.

crystal_bubbles1 karma

Completely agree that the risk would be far too high during pregnancy, and probably for little while after. The first year is generally cherished, and you will probably prefer time with your new baby. But certainly afterwards is an option to take sport up again. Have you thought about coaching? perhaps thats less dangerous?

fiddleandthedrum1 karma

Lol I mean after shes out. When im a mother. Funny guy.

cheddarben2 karma

It wasn't an all boys team. You were on it. Way to go!

fiddleandthedrum1 karma

Thanks! :)

Bicurious_MILF2 karma

Did you score?

fiddleandthedrum1 karma

Nope, I played on defence.

Doctor-W1 karma

Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses Or 1 horse sized duck?

fiddleandthedrum9 karma

Absolutely no doubt about it 100 duck sized horses. But I'd probably just keep them and love them to death!!!

JerkChickenThroway1 karma

How much did you weigh when you were line backer and what year of high school was it?

fiddleandthedrum1 karma

Grade 10 - 150 pounds grade 11 - 160 pounds

optimalnoodle2 karma

Height? I was pretty lanky at 5'11 170lbs when i played linebacker my last year of football in the USA (male).

fiddleandthedrum2 karma