I am Fat Kev Smith - the sweaty blob in the hockey jersey muumuu that hosts COMIC BOOK MEN. And I am looking for some Dark Knights for my charity, The Wayne Foundation. AMA, ASAP! OK?

Hi there Kevin, Two summers ago you were tweeting about needing to go see The Avengers because it was such a good movie. I tweeted you back saying that I was too broke to go. I didn't expect anything back as it was self pity. And five minutes later you tweeted me saying you were going to buy me two tickets to go see it. I thought it you were kidding but you really did. My wife and I went out to see the movie and that night I made a promise to myself, my wife and my daughter. I'd go to college so I'm not stuck in this rut of debt for the rest of my life. I'm now halfway done with getting my Associates in Computer Science and I'd like to thank you. Thank you from the deepest of my heart for the inspiration to get off my ass and make a change in my life.

Right on! I remember you!

Wasn't the movie fun?

Matt Damon wishes that you would direct more.

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1x6q4r/matt_damon_ama/cf8lx1h

I think that means you're now obliged to make a movie for him. That's a rule in Hollywood, right?

Matt Damon has always treated me far more seriously as a filmmaker than I've ever treated myself, God bless him. Super nice guy. When you look at his resume, he's worked with legendary director after legendary director. And then me, from time to time, back in the day. But as kind as he is, he's just being loyal: Matt was always super-appreciative that Scott Mosier and I took GOOD WILL HUNTING in to Harvey and got him to pick it up in turnaround from Castle Rock.

Classy thing about Matt: he always talks to your wife like she's a real person, not just the person who's standing with you. Good, good dude.

Hi! I'm a big fan of you work (and commentaries). The company I work for is a Miramax licensee and we're trying to do an event at Meltdown Comics on Sunset Blvd. What are the chances of getting you to make an appearance? We want to deck the store out to look like Quick Stop for the 20th anniversary!

I'd do that in a heartbeat. Meltdown is like 2 minutes from my house.

Hey Kevin, been watching you since I could masturbate. I love your podcasts and listen to them whenever I can. I loved your episode when you came up with the CW series "Shadow of the Bat" with Paul Dini.

Any news on upcoming Fatman on Batman's? Bat Fleck maybe?

The weird thing is, I have been watching you WHILE I masturbate. I time my orgasm with your breathing. It's very spiritual.

As for future episodes of FAT MAN ON BATMAN - We've got Part 3 with the legendary NEAL ADAMS next week, and then Marc Bernardin returns to join me for a BATMAN FOREVER commentary track. That's what I got in the chamber right now.

But if you wanna be a Bat-Buddy, shoot all potential guests (not wish-lists, contacts for actual guests) to https://twitter.com/jordanmonsanto

Re: BatFleck...

Already invited. He said, via email, he'd do it when he was done shooting. Then I remembered: he's never done shooting...

Would you really let Chris Hemsworth suit up as Thor and hammer you?

I'd try to get away with lots of oral and cuddling, but if he wanted to bury Mjolnir in my Asgard? I'd roll with the thunder for sure.

But not Hemsworth himself, mind you. Gotta be Hemsworth AS Thor. In Thor costume. With Thor powers and sentiments. And was into bi-curious bears.

1. You're obviously not really retired like Matt Damon said today in his AMA. I guess he's busting your balls, right?
2. I see on your IMDB you've got a couple projects going on (Tusk, and Helena Handbag)... what's on the horizon after those are complete?
3. Red State was a very awesome departure for you into new and very exciting territory. I'd personally love to see more films like this from you. Can you explain some of the process for you on that project? What's it like entering a new genre like that? What were some of the limitations to the project that might have otherwise avoided?
4. Can we expect some more horror/thriller genre films from you?
5. Is Untitled Prince Documentary available anywhere or is that still in Prince's vault? :)

1) He's likely completely unaware of what I'm up to. Dudes always busy making movies. When he's not doing that, he's married with kids. I gotta imagine I only cross his mind if someone asks him about me. But like I said earlier: he's always a classy good dude whenever I see him.

2) COMES THE KRAMPUS is next. See earlier response.

3) I love RED STATE. I was happy to end on that note. But as it turns out, it was just an appetizer for TUSK. But the thought process behind RED STATE is laid out really well here, in the RED STATE OF THE UNION podcasts: http://smodcast.com/channels/red-state-of-the-union-qa/ That's free. If you've got a few bucks, I talk a LOT about RED STATE in my book TOUGH SHIT, too: http://toughshitkev.com/

4) This fall. It's a monster movie called TUSK: http://www.thewrap.com/kevin-smiths-tusk-hit-theaters-fall-2014-via-a24-demarest-films/

5) Still in Prince's vault, I imagine.

Can you spill the beans about the Batsuit? Is it Gray/Black?

Go see my new movie, RAMPART.

(That'd be code for "It's not my detail to give away; all I can say is that every Bat-fan will love it. We've never seen this suit on screen before. And this is a suit that's iconic as fuck. So take from that what you will. Meantime, if you catch Matt Damon on his AMA, he might have more details.)

Can't thank you enough for hanging out, but I'm gonna split now. Sorry I didn't get to every question. You can always hit me up on Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThatKevinSmith Or Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YesThatKevinSmith Or Instagram: http://instagram.com/ThatKevinSmith

If you can, throw a few bucks toward THE WAYNE FOUNDATION: http://www.crowdrise.com/kevinsmithrama/fundraiser/waynefdn

Wayne Foundation founder Jamie Walton's inspiring story of surviving sex trafficking can be heard here: http://waynefdn.org/sminterviews

And don't forget: COMIC BOOK MEN returns SUNDAY NIGHT! After The WALKING/TALKING DEAD!

And if you like movie talk, check out our show SPOILERS: http://smodcast.com/spoilers/

And don't forget to see RAMPART.

Kevin

Hey Kevin, I lost my Mom last year unexpectedly, and I was in a bad place for a while after that. Then I started listening to some of your podcasts (HBO, Smodcast, and Edumacation) and they really helped to cheer me up and make me laugh. I guess I don't really have a question, I just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh during a time in my life when I really needed it.

SModcast turned 7 years old yesterday. We started on Feb 5, 2007. Seven years later, it's redefined who I am and what I do: http://smodcast.com/

I've got this theory that not only is SModcast my living biography, it's also my subtle way of coming to grips with death. We can't fight the grave, so I figure all we can do is rage against the unavoidable darkness by creating as much life and art as we can before the ride's over. So we laugh about death a lot on SModcast - and I think it's so I can quietly, and over a long period of time, prepare for the worst moment in my life.

Man, if you wanna hear a fuckin' fat man weep, listen to this week's episode of JAY & SILENT BOB GET OLD. http://smodcast.com/episodes/im-gonna-make-mewes-love-me/

Bring your hankies: it's a 30 minute viking funeral to the producer of MALLRATS, DAZED & CONFUSED, TOMBSTONE and RAISING ARIZONA, unsung legend Jim Jacks: http://smodcast.com/episodes/im-gonna-make-mewes-love-me/

Kevin, it's hard not to be an enourmous fan of your work, since your amazing and all that stuff. From Clerks to Red State every one of your films is a true joy. I have a few questions.

I was listening to one of your great podcasts and you talked about buying some items from the show DeGrassi, can you tell a little more about that?

How is Clerks III coming?

What is the one piece of movie memorabilia that you wish you had and what is the best thing you have from one of your movies?

Thanks so much and take care!!!

1) Degrassi: Never bought props (though I was given a Degrassi sweater from the 80's show by Degrassi mastermind Linda Schuyler). I did, however, buy the entire Degrassi Junior High/Degrassi High library on VHS from a scholastic video company with my first CLERKS money. Cost me like $6,000 because each tape was $99 - priced for educational distribution. When I called in '94 and told them I was a private collector, there was a long pause - as if the salesperson was asking herself "Do I wanna move units to what I can only assume is a pederast?" Now you can get that entire library for like $50 or less.

2) CLERKS III I'll talk about later in the AMA.

3) I wish I had the original "I EAT COCK" world balloon. My Mom threw it out years later, when she found it in my garage. I got all River Phoenix-Indiana Jones in her face about "THIS SHOULD BE IN A MUSEUM!" She looked at me like "I can't believe something as big and goofy as you came out of my body."

I am a guard right now. I listen to your podcasts driving from post to post. but when I run out of podcasts I leave the radio off and throw my own ideas through my head. And I have stories in my head, ideas, based on my friends and my interests, and each idea, run into another. I want to right down these ideas, and try to do something with them. I just don;t know if I should write it into a comic script, novel, movie. I have some notes, but its hard for me to get the ideas into story mode, even though I run it through my head constantly. Any help or useful info for hopefully a future writing PROTÉGÉ.

Also, love how you share your feelings my man, you give the funny, with a real world touch, letting us know our hero of smod feels just as much as we do, thank you sir.

Write it. Don't think about it, just write it. Get it out. Reshape it. Write it again. But write it. That's all you have to do. That's your only job. The muse will provide the whimsy. All you gotta do is write it all down when it strikes you. Not an hour later. Not next week. Inspiration is a chintzy mistress, so when she offers up the goods, make sure you honor her attentions by WRITING DOWN WHATEVER THE FUCK SHE TELLS YOU TO!

You do that long enough, you'll realize you're a motherfuckin' writer, Silent Dave...

No question, but thought you'd appreciate a story. College- and it was the monday night where at midnight Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was coming out on DVD? VHS? I dunno. Anyhow, our routine was to hang out and get mellow drunk watching our way through your movies. So, we had to have it. At midnight, we start wandering around Columbus. This was back when Target wouldn't carry movies with cursing in them or some shit. Neither would wal-mart. Ended up wandering around all night in a little tiny geo metro, quoting your movies to each other, until we found some dive all-night rental place that had just gotten it in. Not that we ever returned it, that rental DVD is still in my collection, 10 years later.

So, yeah - thanks for being part of a great memory.

That story warms my heart. And take solace in knowing you only set the store owners back about $10.

When CLERKS hit VHS, it had the dubious honor of being the most stolen video tape in stores that year. True story.

Kevin! Big fan here. I must know...how involved with Ben Affleck are you towards building up his Batman persona? If so, what are his strongest traits in finding his character thus far?

I'm not involved at all. I'm just a big, fat cheerleader, blinded by love of both Batman and the dude I used to work with a lot who's now gonna play him. Strange collision of lifetime passions - which, make no mistake, sounds exactly as homoerotic as I intended. In MALLRATS opening credits, Ben is depicted on cover of BUTTMAN ADVENTURES comic book. In the CHASING AMY commentary track, I say to Ben "You can be Clooney." He says "I can be Clooney." And I ask "But can you be Batman?" In JERSEY GIRL, Ben refers to the street-sweeper as "the BatMobile". And years after all that shit, homey winds up in the cape & cowl. That shit just makes me happy.

But the only words I've exchanged with Ben about the Batman role have been via email. I blew him up when I saw the suit and wrote "Zack showed me you in the suit. I've got the vapors. He wrote back "You saw it?! I haven't even seen the pictures yet! How's it look?" I replied "Fuck you and take all my money. a) Perfect suit. Every fan will love. b) You ARE Batman! c) Can I be Penguin?" Still waiting on a reply. He hasn't said no...

Hello Kevin!

I saw you at Amoeba Music in Hollywood a year or two ago on father's day, but i didn't want to bother you because you were with your family. I still kick myself to this day for not getting a picture with you. Im a huge fan and i can't wait to see what you do next!

Come over and hit me up for a pic or chit-chat for a minute. I'm totally harmless and insanely approachable. In fact, you open the door and I'll start stalking you - like Tenacious D, writing songs about you and chasing you down the street singing "WE'RE TALKING FUCKING LEEEEEEE!!!"

Hi Kevin! Thanks for doing this!

I've always loved how it seems that you and your daughter have a great bond and she's come to be a really sweet and intelligent child.

I'm a father to be in about a month and I've always wondered how you not fuck it up with your daughter's growing up. I really like your sense of humor and have a crude sense of humor myself, so this is something that really makes me nervous: how being totally direct, clear and honest doesn't mess with the child's imagination and actually raises a cool and grounded child?

You need my wife's help. She did all the important stuff. I'm just the guy who's always talked to her like she was my age (minus all the use of "motherfucker", although that would've been appropriate as I did, indeed, fuck her mother). She's 14 now - which means she understands a lot more of what I'm saying to her. But I've never shied away from talking to her in larger terms and more advance concepts (like identity; and Batman); I figured if she didn't understand shit, she'd ask. And she did. And then I'd explain it. We function the same way today. It's a really cool relationship.

But Jen did all the important stuff. She shaped Harley into a really impressive baby woman, and now, young lady. I like my kid; I think she's cool. And she reminds me of every pretty girl in my adolescence who suffered this rambling fat kid with a smile.

Hey, massive fan. I listen to your podcasts and your audiobook, and it seems like you have had a bunch of run-ins with other celebrities (Willis, NPH, Lovitz, Prince, Burton, etc) not to pry, but do you see any possibility of burying the hatchet with these guys? It's unfortunate when creative peoe don't get along.

I still check out Bruce Willis movies. I still listen to Prince. I still re-watch CASINO JACK, which has Lovitz in it. I just don't need to work with any of 'em ever again (and I assure you, none of 'em are remotely interested in working with me either). Some people you just fundamentally or philosophically don't get along with. The creative community isn't all that different from high school. Weren't there some people in high school that just baffled you are stood for shit you couldn't stand? The entertainment business is no different. You're all thrown together into this world where you pass each other in the hallways sometimes or see each other at lunch, but it's not like you're friends with everybody. And some people don't like your shit at all, the same way you're not into someone else's stuff. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. Sometimes, it rains.

Can you make a Mallrats sequel. I really felt much better about myself after watching the first one.

Maybe a comic book sequel. Back in the day, the proposed sequel was MALLRATS 2: DIE HARD IN A MALL. Then MALLRATS opened to no business and there was suddenly no talk of sequels anymore.

I am a huge fan of your work. I have one question for you, What has been your main drive for making the Clerks Movies?

I like the idea of growing old with Dante and Randal, and stopping into from time to time to check on them. Love working with Brian O'Halloran and Jeff Anderson, but Dante and Randal are my boys. They lifted me up to where I am today, that pair of fictional clerks. So I like to honor them by not letting them be forgotten. And checking in on them for CLERKS III will be that.

But on the subject of CLERKS III, recently, I've had a big come-to-Jesus conversation with myself about my immediate future.

Last year, I turned a podcast into the best movie I've ever made. We call it TUSK: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/kevin-smith-talks-tusk-639293

This was fun and crazy creative. But more importantly? It had the benefit of never having been tried before: the first movie based on a podcast. Shit like that tickles the shit out of me: I like being first through the door. It was bold, in a not-really-bold-compared-to-folks-who-serve-in-the-armed-forces kinda way. It was me taking nearly 7 years of podcasting and saying "Hey - some of these might actually work as movies..."

So now that TUSK is nearly done (we still have our Guy Lapointe scenes to shoot this month), the idea was to gear up for CLERKS III. But then I started thinking "Isn't that stepping backwards? Like literally?" While I love it with all of my heart, CLERKS is my past. It's how I got started. And I'm just getting started again, after taking 3 years off, certain I was done making movies. TUSK represents something bold and new. No matter how bold I make it, CLERKS III will always have a number in the title. It will never be new. It will rock, I assure you, and it will be a worthy final installment in my mini-mart magnum opus. But it's predicated on something I did a long time ago. I wanna keep moving forward. SModcast Pictures is becoming exactly that: we're starting to make movies based on podcasts. TUSK was the first, and now COMES THE KRAMPUS will be next: http://silentbobspeaks.com/?p=1075

Now, at this point in time, nobody but me can make a CLERKS film. But ANYONE can make a Krampus picture. So before anyone else does, I figured it's time to keep moving forward: we're gonna shoot COMES THE KRAMPUS in April, before CLERKS III.

We've got a 20 day schedule and an under-3 million budget, and lots of folks returning from TUSK as well as other flicks I've done. Gonna be a SModCo CREEPSHOW, set at Christmas. And if we stay on schedule, by the time we start, it will have been only 4 months since the initial conversational whimsy about it on the EDUMACATION podcast, right before Christmas. That's a real fuel to my fire now: taking weird ideas from podcast to film as quickly as possible, before anyone realizes they're dumb ideas and they have time to fall apart.

CLERKS III is still coming. I love the script so much, I'll make it happen, I promise. But the muse (and the Mewes) is pulling me away from something old for the moment and pulling me toward something new. And when the muse whispers, I listen. When the Mewes whispers, it's just kinda creepy. And he spells shit wrong - even though he's just whispering and not writing.

Mr. Smith,

I once banged an orthodox Jewish girl in my basement while Clerks 2 played in the background. Yes, it was consensual. We finished before the musical number. Thanks for that.

Question: Why didn't you have a scene where Rosario Dawson is topless on a trampoline in Clerks 2? I think it would have really brought something to the film.

Also, you are the reason I started following hockey. I've never been a fan of any sports but hockey is just... captivating. I'm a NY Rangers fan, not too sure how you feel about that. But who do you see making it to the cup this year? Any predictions?

Surprise, sir: I WAS that orthodox Jewish girl in your basement. And you never "banged" me, okay; I banged YOU. But while I was banging you? I was watching the shit out of my movie over your shoulder.

Cup prediction: Ducks vs Penguins. Fowl Play.

Hey Kevin, you stopped by my smoke shop here in Tucson, Az last January and a few days later we had a attempted robbery. Trying out a new career?

Bummer, man! Sorry to hear about it. If it happened to me, I might be tempted to invest in a vigilante costume and station my fat ass on the roof. With a Batarang.

Just wanted to check in on the status of S.I.R.? Any updates on when you might go back to morning shows? Used to love listening to them at work

The morning shows were fun for me, too. I wish some radio station - ANY radio station - across America (or in Canada) would come to the conclusion that I'm awake at 4:20am every morning anyway, so they might as well have me host a morning show from my home. I'd do it cuss-free. That's been a side-dream for a few years now: morning radio from my home on a real radio station. But I'm not bitching: I've got podcasts to keep me busy. Lots of them: http://smodcast.com/home/

Do you, Ben Affleck, and Matt Damon get together once and a while and just shoot the shit? I have this desire to know if you guys have dinners with your wives once a year and if you're all good friends.

Nah. I haven't seen either of those guys IRL in years. I knew those guys once, but that was eons ago. They've been besties since Beantown so of course they get together from time to time, but me? I'm like a friend from summer camp. And we all stopped going to camp a long time ago.

Well, they did. I'm still here at camp - which is totally cool for me: I always wanted to be in MEATBALLS when I was a kid.

"We are the C.I.T.'s so pity us! The kids are brats, the food is hideous! We're gonna smoke and drink and fool around! (We're nookie-bound!) We are the North Star C.I.T.'s!"

Hey Kev, what would you do if your script leaked on the net?

You mean like it did on DOGMA, back in 1998? Or SUPERMAN LIVES did in 1996?

It's a bummer, but it happens - particularly in the digital age. I've been printing my scripts on copy-proof paper or watermarking them with the recipients' names and changing one word per copy ever since DOGMA got out. I take all these precautions but it's very likely nobody wants to read them anyway.

As a filmmaker and comic fan, Regarding the whole cinematic comic book universes that Marvel and DC have put together.

• What do you think DC is doing right?
• What do you think Marvel is doing wrong?

Thanks for doing this AMA, keep up the great work on Fatman on Batman.

Nothing.

And nothing.

There is no wrong. We're getting comic book movies! Who cares if they don't get them 100% right! When I was a kid, the only way you knew The Punisher was The Punisher in THE PUNISHER was because he had a little skull on his knife handle. The movies used to be ashamed of the costumes - going out of their way to fuck with concepts that were perfected over decades in another medium. Now, Loki wears that fucking hat with the horns. Iron Man looks more like Iron Man than the comic book version of Iron Man. Batman can turn his head.

This is a Golden Age of comic book movies. There's nothing wrong. It's all right. They're making comic book movies like they used to churn out westerns. I'm not into cowboys, but I love me a dude in a cape or a lady who will stomp your throat for justice. So I'm just a happy consumer.

Hi Kevin, I don't really have a question, but wanted to let you know that your work has been a big part of my life. The first movie I saw after moving to the US was Mallrats. I became an instant fan. I have to admit, when I was 12 I didn't expect a black and white movie to grab my attention. Clerks proved to a new generation of filmmakers and fans that whether it's animated, 3d, Technicolor b&w or full color hd, that if the characters are relatable, and the story is compelling, that a good film can come in any format and you shouldn't count one out because it's not what you're used to. Also, my first date with my now fiance was Clerks 2 - we are getting married in October. Thanks for being an important part of our lives.

Means the world to me. Thanks for giving a shit, all these years later.

Hey Kevin, no real question here. I just really want to say thanks for the many hours of free funny, inspiration that a fat man can make it in a skinny man's world, and that when my clinical depression is at its low point, I can always pop in something you've done (be it podcast, tv, or movie) and it brings me back every time. Thank you so much for your impact on my life.

Awwww. Thanks, man! I live to serve!

How do you feel about being more recognized as silent bob more than yourself as a director?

It's all good, so long as they're not punching me in the face.

It's my birthday, and I love your films so much. Any way I could get a happy birthday?

Happy Birthday, man! You are the fastest sperm, beating out a legion of others for the ultimate prize: a lifetime of smoking weed and watching NEWS RADIO reruns. Every champion deserves a victory lap: that's all this life is.

How is Shecky doing these days?

Still acts like she runs shit. If I take her for a walk, she barks at everything like it's all her giant yard. But she's plucky and cute, man - that'll make up for almost anything. And that's saying a lot, as this dog will just wait under one of the bigger dogs while they shit and scap those steamers up like they're mashed potatoes. Dirty, dirty bitch...

Hi Kevin, I listen to every podcast every week. I fucking lov'em! One thing I admire about you is your loyalty to your friends and Redbank. It seems like you have spent a lot of your time and energy helping your friends, namely Mr. Mewes. I was wondering if you ever thought your loyalty has cost you? Whether in your career, life, relationships or other. If so, any regrets?

I ask this because I have a friend that I had to take care of during his drug abuse/mental illness.

Also, if you had to fuck one of your friends, which one would it be?

My friends have never cost me anything. Without them and their friendship, I likely wouldn't have anything. They made me who I am today. It's a mutually beneficial relationship.

Will you ever go back to directing movies, and if so, will Matt Damon be in the cast of the next one?

I just directed a movie in November. It's about a guy who tries to turn another guy into a walrus: http://www.thewrap.com/kevin-smiths-tusk-hit-theaters-fall-2014-via-a24-demarest-films/

It's based on an episode of SModcast. We're doing that again: making a movie based on one of our podcasts - this time, it's an episode of EDUMACATION: http://silentbobspeaks.com/?p=1075

Hey Kev, I have a WEED question for you.

I started smoking pot when I was 19 and when I was 20, I finally overdid it. I smoked too much and had a horrible series of panic attacks.

I have since quit smoking because every time I do my mind goes back to those panicky feelings.

Has this ever happened to you? Or is pot just amazing EVERY TIME?

I had one panic attack when I smoked too much, waaaaaay back at the beginning. Other than that, it's always been wonderful.

Hey Kev

First up, thanks for all of the Smod joy you’ve brought me; I’ve always liked your films but I discovered smodcast and Jay & Silent Bob Get Old at a pretty lonely time in my life last autumn. Since then, I’ve rarely left the house without you and Scott/Jason/Malcolm/Bryan in my ear. You make me laugh out loud in the street almost every day- a man is never lonely with a smodcast or two on his phone!

Question- If some kind of dangerous madman with a gun to your head forced you to chose just one podcast to continue with, forever, which would it be? Why? Would you suck cock to save all of them?

That's too much of a Sophie's Choice, sir! BABBLE is the easiest to do: I just show up and laugh along with Ralph. FAT MAN ON BATMAN is the hardest, inasmuch as it usually requires getting a guest to talk to (although I have flown solo once). JAY & SILENT BOB GET OLD isn't that hard because it's just me interviewing Mewes. EDUMACATION is maybe the easiest because Andy prepares the show and I just react - and since there's no live audience, I don't even have to try to make anyone laugh but Andy.

But SModcast started it all. Without SMod, the rest never happen. So I'd have to go home with the guy that brung me: my bro, Scotty Mo.

That being said, I'll die before I let that impossible choice be made!

[deleted]

Yes, this was right as we were suddenly starting TUSK. I do, indeed, intend to go back and do the show. Drop [email protected] an email and she'll see about re-booking it.

Can you tell us about your idea for the Keep Fishin' video and why Weezer didn't go with it?

Whatever my idea was, it didn't feature Muppets. I always defer to The Muppets. They've been doing it longer'n I have.

Hey Kevin, big fan of clerks and blah blah blah. Lets get down to business. What is your take on the Devils this year? Do you think Marty or Jagr will get moved? Quick rebuild or do you think Lou makes a big splash in the trade market?

I hope Jagr stays. It was weird seeing him in the colors for a minute, but now he looks like a goddamned Devil out there.

Marty will never get moved. Nor should he be. Dude helped build that franchise and won it 3 glorious Stanley Cups. He can go when he's good and ready.

You've helped me become more comfortable with my appearance. Thank you.

We can't all look like Brad Pitt.

Well, we CAN. But it just takes too much fucking work...

Who's your favorite Pokémon?

Pikachu, dude. Fuck all the rest.

When are you going back on Opie & Anthony?

Soon as I'm back in NYC. Love doing their show.

How long did it take to shoot Michael Parks' monologue in Red State?

A day. Dude's the real deal.

Any chance at a return of regular episodes of Plus One?

Working on it. Recorded one but Jen wouldn't let me release it. She's being a stickler.

I'm close to completing film school. My focus is in directing. I'm considering going back for screenwriting or cinematography, but part of me just wants to get a job and get out there in the real world. My dream job would be PAing for my filmmaking hero Kevin Smith (winkyface)... Any advice on the topic? Should I keep schooling or get on with life? I mean, I'm fat, Jewish, balding, and have a large beard. Shouldn't I automatically have a spot in Hollywood?

You got my vote.

But unless you live nearby, it's gonna cost you more to P.A. on the movie than you'll make as a P.A. on the movie.

I saw at comic con last year the guy propose during your Q&A. I was winding if you would do me the same honor of officiating my wedding. We live in southern CA and plan on getting married in Temecula and would cover any costs of you and your family attending. I know it's a long shot, but thought I'd give it a try

No, but if you come up here, I'll marry you (to each other) on BABBLE-ON. That's been happening lots lately...

Reach out to [email protected]

Thank you, just thank you. Sometimes the inane is as important as the thoughtful and you have helped me through life with both. So what do I need to do for the foundation, I certainly owe you something.

You owe me nothing. You gave me your attention once and all I've ever done since is try to keep it.

Are you coming to Boston again any time soon? It was cool we got to hang with Jay & Brian but we were super bummed you were busy for Rock N Shock.

Maybe we can all convince Ralph to bring BABBLE to Boston! Keep watching this space for details: http://seesmod.com/

Just wanted to thank you for doing this AMA. I can't tell you how inspired I am by your life story or how much I dig all your shit. The flicks, podcasts, etc. I could ask so many questions. But this is the one I said I would ask if I ever got the chance:

Do you ever sit down and watch your flicks? And if so, which version of Clerks. do you watch?

I prefer the original cut, minus the killing of Dante, so I always turn it off before that. You should release a cut like that. Maybe call it The Sundance Cut?

The theatrical cuts are the final cuts to me, so I watch them. Anything extra goes into the deleted scenes.

But to be fair, I'd rather make new stuff than watch old stuff. And believe me: I LOVE the old stuff. But we're supposed to move in one direction. Reflect on the past but live in the present and plan for the future.

An actual question -- why did you choose to not go with the "surreal" ending for Red State? I feel like that would've been amazing.

Cost. Simply cost too much. One day, when I have some money, I'd like to shoot that other ending.

Hypothetical scenario: You have another kid. What comic book character do you name this one after?

Batman.

Batman Smith.

That kid would be able to do anything...

Of course, I would be freaking late to this AMA. Damn it, I hope you get to see this, Kevin!

Several years ago, you came to Crystal Lake, IL to do a charity performance of An Evening with Kevin Smith, in support of the Raue Center for the Arts. I believe your aunt is part of the board, and this small little venue was raising money for a projection screen to help keep the venue open. It started out early, with a screening of "Clerks", and then after a small break, you came on stage. You literally stayed until 2:30 am, on a Sunday, and had the entire audience in stitches with your stories. You invited the crowd to come down the aisles and ask you questions, in which it took about 45 minutes to answer each fucking question.. and it was glorious. Your "It's ropey!" story still sticks with me, and my husband and I use it to this day whenever we're talking about epic shits. Of course, because of your generosity and time, the center was able to raise the funds, and it still remains open to this day.

So, not a question, but just a statement of gratitude and adoration - my husband and I are huge, huge fans of your work and to this day is our favorite show that we have seen. This small town in IL is grateful that you were able to help the arts survive, and you are an amazing person for doing this. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Would be the first in line if you ever came back to do another show :)

I remember that show. Such a great audience. And, c'mon - it's called Crystal Lake.

Kee-kee-kee-ha-ha-ha...

Hey Kevin i am a huge fan of all your work! I love listening to all the different commentaries on all your movies with Scott. Do you think you guys will work together again?

I work with Scott every week. It just never feels like a job because we're giggling so much: http://smodcast.com/channels/smodcast/

Anything?

I got something, alright...

Wanna hang out with me? Granted, it's on Google, but still!

Help me out financially with this charity drive for The Wayne Foundation and you could win a Google hangout date with me. Maybe we can talk each other off. All for a good cause. Enter here:

http://www.crowdrise.com/kevinsmithrama/fundraiser/waynefdn

Hey Kev, huge fan since my dad took me to see Mallrats for my tenth birthday (my dad is awesome) I once heard that you originally wrote the Abin Cooper role in Red State with Carlin in mind before he passed away. Any truth to this?

It was always written for Michael Parks, but at one point, when we couldn't track down Michael Parks, there was, indeed, a backup plan to reach out to George Carlin to play Abin Cooper.