IamA (moth penis dissector, by profession.) AMA!

Is it true that black moths have bigger dicks?

Edit: Wow thank you for the gold. I'm glad we all share the same juvenile sense of humor.

Follow up question: Are adolescent moths permanently scarred for being a "grower" rather than a "shower" and being ridiculed in gym class and being nicknamed "Three Balls" or is that only the case in humans?

Adolescent moths, or "caterpillars" as they're sometimes known, don't have any kind of genitalia worth mentioning at all. Think: two tiny discs under the skin.

In your professional opinion, how large would Mothra's moth penis be?

At least 25 meters, fully extended.

I have a phobia of these insects, specially the fat, furry ones... what's the best way to keep them at bay? How do I get them out of a room without touching or harming them?

For big fat furry moths, the easiest way is to put a cup over them, slide a paper between the cup and the wall/window, and carry them out. But just remember, they can't bite, they can't sting, they don't stink, so all they can do is get dust on you.

What exactly IS that dust? How does it get on their wings?

They build it during metamorphosis - it's loads of little scales

So... what IS moth dust?

Also, isn't this kind like the Salem witch trials? If it sinks...

Also, if the only way to tell us by directing the... well it hurts to think about, but does that mean females have one too?

It consists of tiny scales that cover the moth wing and assist it in flight.

Females have a different apparatus alltogether, which is less useful for telling moths apart. Female parts

Would you rather dissect 100 moth-sized penises or 100 penis-sized moths?

Penis-sized moths, please.

What's your favorite moth fact that most people wouldn't know?

I don't know about favorite facts, but the way the heads look up close is pretty phenomenal.

Does penis size vary as often on moths as it does on humans? Also, have you ever witnessed a moth erection in action or does that not happen?

It definitely happens! I've witnessed it several times in nature.

Size does NOT vary much in the genitalia - even if the moth's body size is much smaller than his competitors, his junk is almost exactly the same.

Do you handle any other insect penis or just moth dongs? Also is the moth member used for anything, medicine or mcdonalds secret sauce?

I ask myself the same question every time I throw out the little cup of dissected ones! And yes, I sometimes do other insects, like sawflies and caddisflies

Do you have a preference, like is a sawfly easier than a moth ir other insect?

Moths are the easiest because I have the most practice, but I strongly prefer female spider genitalia

That picture is confusing. How does it work?

More on that later!

C'mon man, don't keep us in suspense! What kind of spider was this? I need to know now.

It's a Costa Rican jumping spider, Frigga pratensis, identified by my good friend /u/joot78

The AMA of the guy who dissects moth dicks is more popular than Ann Coulter's AMA. Just throwin' that thought out there. She is less popular than moth dicks.

Aww yisss!

You have a fantastic job title by the way, was just wondering how you got into the field, presumably you didn't wake up one day and decide that's what you wanted to do! Thanks

I am a zoologist, which can cover a lot of different specialties - but I focused on insects and spiders in my studies. I've had several insect-and-spider related jobs, and one bird job (watching tits in Finland!)

I'm sure you saw lots of great tits too? Jokes aside, whereabouts in Finland did you watch them?

Oulu!

I'm from Oulu, whoo!

I used to live near Halpa-Halli

I hope you didn't try to learn the language there, what they speak hardly resembles actual Finnish.

Tell me about it! I studied "book finnish" before I went, and couldn't understand anything!

Well, I'll ask the obvious.

What's the biggest? What's average?

The biggest I've seen is Helicoverpa zea which comes in at about 5mm. But I'm sure there are bigger ones out there.

What tools do you use to dissect something so microscopic?

I use two pins to pull out the genital capsule and spread the valves apart by stacking pins on the middle until it's flat, then I put a cover slip over it.

Do insects have tiny versions of STD's? Or STI's, whatever the kids are calling it now.

So far as I know, they do not - but that may only be because nobody has looked for them before.

I hope this isn't too personal but how much to you bring home a year as a zoologist? My SO wanted to get into the field but decided not to because it apparently doesn't pay very well.

I'm ashamed of my income, so I prefer not to write it.

So looking at moth penises every day doesn't pay well?

Not as well as it should, but there are definitely benefits.

Benefits... like touching moth penises?

Like that I get to see shit like this on a daily basis.

Why are the government so interested in moth penises?

To screen for invasive species - sometimes that's the only way to tell for sure which is which.

Fun fact: Vladimir Nabokov (author of Lolita) studied butterfly genitalia for the same reason. So I guess you're in good company. Have you read any Nabokov, fiction or otherwise?

Oh hell yes! I'm a big Nabokov fan.

Once you find that a moth is an invasive species, what can you do about it?

It sets off a whole chain of events, but usually it shows up as a report first.

When people ask you what profession you're in, what do you tell them and what's their reaction?

It varies, but mostly I get squints and shrugs.

You are awesome for doing this. I've always wanted to know, which insect is hung like a horsefly?

This one!

What is the name of this little well endowed fellow?

Shoot, I can't remember right now, but I think it's one of the Chrysops

have you ever stopped at work and wondered how the fuck you ended up chopping up moth dicks?........ and how does someone get a career doing that?

I do wonder it, given that I prefer to be an educator.

My friends went through a moth eating phase... I used to tell them they were gonna get some fucked up moth disease..Is this possible?

So far, no. But we need more brave people like your friend to experiment!

Are moths monogamous or will they bone hundreds of moth babes during thier lifetime? Howling do they live?

So if you look at the the little spikes in the dicks, the moth loses some of them each time he mates. He can mate until he runs out of spikes or until his penis gets pulled off.

How often does the penis get pulled off?

I'd say about 1 in 10 of the ones I get have their penis pulled off.

Check out this moth/caterpillar I found and raised. Can you tell me anything cool about it!? http://imgur.com/a/61a5k

Great pictures! I don't have anything offhand to tell you about this species.

what did you want to be when you were little?

A marine biologist

Do male moths have testicles too?

They do, but I don't dissect those.

TIL moths have penises. I assumed they had... cloacas or something. From someone with a crippling bug phobia, thanks for making me think about insect genitalia! Just how big a problem are invasive moths?

HUGE problem. Nearly every crop has a moth that attacks it.

1: How exactly do moths reproduce?(is it semen or.... what?) 2: For the moth species that doesn't eat when it becomes an adult, do the males only have a limited amount of reproductive material?(kinda like human females with eggs) Since they can't eat I would think that they wouldn't be able to generate more right?

Right - they are stuck with what they have built up from caterpillarhood. But the reproduction is pretty similar to mammalian, with a few weird twists. And yes, they only have a limited amount of reproductive material, but they usually don't live very long.

How many bugs would you screen on any given day? Or, maybe a similar question, what is a typical day for a moth penis dissector?

Friday I did 305, Thursday 270. Usually I do a prep day and then a dissection day - prepping involves pulling off the abdomens and soaking them in KOH to soften them up - and of course, each one has to be accounted for and to stay near the moth it came from, so there's a lot of anal-retentive detail work.

Would you say that there are lapses in your capabilities to study insects considering your focus on zoology, as opposed to entomology?

And, how many insect cock jokes are there...? I can't think of one... at all.

Not really - the great thing about studying insects is that there is inexhaustible source material - there's always more to discover and more to look at!

IMPORTANT QUESTION!!

I am doing a moth project for a graduate student in [important ecologist's] lab. I have to identify moths collected from Micronesia, and have begun this project with little to no knowledge on Lepidoptera taxonomy. How do I learn to identify moths, especially really freakin tiny ones?? Is there a helpful moth penis book I could use??

Thanks!!

SEND THEM TO ME! PM me and we'll see if we can work something out.

How do you dissect a moth penis

You soften the abdomen in KOH, a caustic solution, then pull the genital capsule out, spread the valves, pull out the aedeagus, and flatten the whole mess under a cover slip.

Why did you choose this career instead of a thousand others that a zoologist could get?

Because there was a job available in my area. I've had a pretty varied career before this, that allowed me to travel to Finland, Hungary, Costa Rica, and Indonesia, all as paid gigs.

Which is your favorite insect penis? Also, on a related note, have you dissected the penis of any other animal? Please don't say human...

I don't know if I have a favorite, but this one is pretty cool.

I've dissected lots of insect penises, and the parts that pass for penises in spiders.

Would you work elsewhere if the opportunity presented itself? Are you paid well?

yes, I would produce informative television or internet shows if I had the opportunity. I am definitely NOT paid well.

Are you the same quaoarpower that makes lots of youtube videos? I love your channel, your videos are funny, creative, and incredibly interesting! thanks for sharing them with the world, keep up the good work!

That's me! Share those links, yo!

I know in Drosophila there's a lot of interesting sperm competition stuff going on between males, does this exist for moths, too?

Are you aware of any sex protein type interactions (e.g. gluing females shut, filling up reproductive organs, making it so she's less interested in mating)?

Sure, they use glue plugs to block other males, all that stuff.

Cool, thanks for the response! :D

Hey, what do you think about speciation in organisms that have mechanical barriers to miscegenation? I'm sure there are a lot of examples, but I am having a tough time figuring out how speciation could occur if an extraordinarily fit male also has genitalia that don't fit in with any of the local females. Does the question make sense?

What sort of education is necessary to do your job?

If you had a fresh start in life, would you choose the same career?

Do you have any wild stories?

Thanka for the AMA!

I have a background in zoology but my co-worker has no science background and dissects better than I do, so I guess diligence, a steady hand, and an eye for details. Fresh start in life? Hard to say. I don't think this is my long term career because I'm much more into spiders, but there's fewer opportunities there.

How bad should I feel about the moths and butterflies I caught as a child? I would cup them in my hands and shake them to get the dust of so they couldn't fly away.

No, don't worry about them. Their cousins reproduce like 200 kids at a time. You can't make a dent in the population.

Okay, moth's really freak me out. I have phobia of anything that flies including birds. Moth's are really, really, really attracted to me, what can I do to not attract them? (Other than stay inside.)

You can try a variety of volatiles, like mint oil, clove oil, neem oil, etc

Clearly insects don't bother you... But do other animals or species bother you?

Mosquitoes and fleas.

If you told your highschool self you were going to become a moth penis dissector what do you think your reaction would be?

What degree did you graduate university with?

Asian Studies, focus on Chinese History! Then I went to graduate school for Zoology.

What exactly is different about the male genitalia on certain species of moths? Why is that the only part that varies and what are the variation factors?

Whew, there are a lot. Compare these two for example. The wing pattern also varies, but sometimes it's impossible to see because the dust has been knocked off.

I understand you're not be a pest control professional but I've so many tiny moths all over my room. I've no problem with the female ones but I wanna eradicate all the males. You seem like you know a thing or two about male moths.

If you can catch some, kill them in the freezer, and send them to me, I can give you better advice. There's lots of small moths around that eat all kinds of things around the house.

How do they taste?

If they taste like they smell, then it's like rotten fruit and gym socks.