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I am a former model who got stage 4 metastatic breast cancer at 30. I survived, and now I provide sexual advice for women going through cancer treatment. AMA!
Hi Reddit, my name is Stefanie LaRue. I am a former model and actress who was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer when I was barely 30 years old. I was given the dismal prognosis of less than a year to live. That was eight years ago. I have lived through grueling treatments, had a permanent port-o-cath placed in my arm for chemo treatments, and completely changed my lifestyle around incorporating complimentary treatments from diet, supplements and nutrition to juicing. I have learned to live every day in the moment and appreciate being alive. Unfortunately last June they found a recurrence. I went in for surgery 2 months ago, and started treatment again.
Having cancer has changed my life. I am now an activist and spokesperson for many cancer organizations. I have lobbied Congress and I also actively share with other cancer patients how to stay active sexually. In my spare time, I'm an ardent animal advocate rescuing and fostering many wounded, mistreated and special needs dogs. As well I am working on a documentary about my life. "Be An Advocate," is my motto - I live life orgasmically every day.
While I was going through the treatments, my dog got me through some very hard time. I want to take this chance to help raise money for my favorite senior dog rescue Muttville.
Proof: http://imgur.com/baJxPSr
AMA!
EDIT: Going to grab some food. Keep the questions coming!
StefanieLaRue29 karma
My sex life became a lot more orgasmic! Being faced with a terminal illness and possible death made me want to have all the sex I could have in all of the most erotic and creative ways that I had only fantasized about.
damesdad11 karma
Hi, I have metastatic prostate cancer. Would you say the complimentary treatments contributed significantly to your survival. If so where do I get such advice!
Thanks for the AMA, and the hope!
StefanieLaRue8 karma
Hell yeah complimentary treatments have certainly helped save my ass! Thank goodness I was connected to an Integrative Oncologist at UCLA who changed my life and lifestyle. Diet, nutrition, supplements, acupuncture, etc. Everything in balance my friend. Start with asking your physician if they can recommend a good nutritionalist in your area who focuses on complimentary therapy. They tailor supplement regimes to your specific diagnosis so it can be different for everyone. The goal is for all of your doctors to work together and be on the same page as far as your treatment protocol. Do whatever it takes to save your ass!!
Gravy-Leg__8 karma
What was the lowest point of your treatment? How did you get through it?
StefanieLaRue16 karma
Not gonna lie, going through chemo sucked! No fun!! Bald (everywhere), port in the arm, weight loss, pale skin, and a mangled breast with scars can certainly make you feel less desired but hey… my vagina still worked and so I did what I needed to do to keep the blood pumping. Sex helped save my life! And having those intense orgasms to look forward to helped me wake up everyday EXCITED!
Fried_Brain2 karma
Girlfriend's family has history of breast cancer. Her mom has some form of it, and her grandmother died from it. The doctors in Japan said she has a 75% risk as well. She's 29 this year and will start getting checked next year.
What is she in for?
StefanieLaRue3 karma
She is def at high risk so to start, she should know what her breasts feel like NOW so she has a baseline of what is familiar in her breasts. That way if she ever feels a lump in the future she will know that it wasn't there before and see her doctor right away. Because she is at such high risk she should also consider getting the BRCA test done (if her mom has already tested and is positive). In cases where young women are BRCA positive often times they decide to have prophylactic bilateral mastectomies. But in the meantime, starting with an ultrasound to have a diagnostic baseline is the most recommended, even at her age now. Better to be proactive just in case.
ferveo2 karma
Inspiring story. I wish people in general were less sexually repressed without having to face such a traumatic illness in order to evoke that change. Much respect to you.
Also, do you find that persons with terminally ill conditions engage more in "unsafe" sex?
StefanieLaRue5 karma
Honestly… yes. Because when you feel you are staring at a time clock, crazy shit comes into your head. And just to feel loved, caressed, touched, rubbed and stimulated is a desire that really never goes away, it can catapult you into experiencing such without thinking too much about interrupting the euphoric moments to strap one on. Protection that is...
StefanieLaRue0 karma
Sexually, explore and get to know your body. Intimately. I didn't start master bating until my mid twenties and I wish I would have "met" my vagina sooner because the endorphins that nourish and wake up your soul through this kind of arousal is incredibly healing. Flirting for fun also increases your spontenaity. It is also important to have other special things to look forward to daily. For me, it is the simplicity of waking up with my four special needs rescue dogs giving my kisses of unconditional love. Knowing that they depend on my to take care of them makes me want to take care of myself even more. Find what it is that makes you happy and feel good and "drink" it daily! Green juice, doggie loving, helping others, pleasing yourself. Live your life orgasmically every day!
jdaher2 karma
What were your treatment options, and what made you choose chemo and surgery?
StefanieLaRue3 karma
My treatment options at the time of diagnosis were chemo, surgery and radiation coupled with changing my lifestyle incorporating a healthier diet, nutrition and supplements regimen. I chose chemo and surgery at the time because I was educated that doing both eastern and western medicine would be the best path to take to help buy me some time. And its worked so far!
ShillExtraordinaire1 karma
Didn't the chemo affect your stamina? Like..could you go on top?Or, did you have to let the boy do all the work?
StefanieLaRue1 karma
Chemo did affect my overall stamina but i think adrenaline would take over at times kicking in to juice up my fruitiness so that I was plump and ready. Foreplay and again, seducing yourself is so crucial. The anticipation would leave me panting because I wanted to feel so close to the true orgasmic bliss sharing myself intimately. I didn't prefer to be on top most of the time if I weren't wearing my wig BUT… when I would wear my wig and a sexy bra (its our jobs to still look and feel sexy ladies!) I indulged and ravished with confidence! And worked!! ;)
Chuddiez1 karma
Have you lost many friends you made during your treatment that really motivated you? Why was their 'story' so inspiring?
StefanieLaRue1 karma
Have attending many funerals even speaking at several of them. That was scary! But what you remember during times like that is celebrating the life of someone significant. And yes, the friends I made alone the way during my treatment who did not survive were significant because of the lives they chose to lead moving forward. Your perspective shifts. It changes. And you see the world differently. Everyone has a story, and often most times how we learn is by sharing our stories. I'm grateful to have had the opportunity to cross paths with those friends I made before they passed on to their next adventures. They chose to start living their lives differently becoming remarkable human beings, leaving their legacies behind. And their hunger to live and survive, even though they did not, is what drives me to do all I can to help educate and inspire.
robyncsis1 karma
I have to say, I'm impressed. Stage 4 cancer, and you still made it through. Props to you! Although I am sorry to hear of a recurrence. Was there a number one person who helped you get through chemo, etc.? Besides your dog. :) By the way, I love animals, so the fact that your dog helped you is awesome, and hooray to you for being an advocate for animals!
StefanieLaRue3 karma
My boyfriend at the time helped me survive treatment. I lived with him during that time and he took good care of me while my family fell apart all around me. So, no real support there unfortunately. But thats ok because I also have a lot of kick ass friends who just want to see me smile everyday. True and healthy friendships are a necessity. Reaching out to support groups participating so you can learn about the disease, side effects and simply, just not feeling alone helps tremendously too. But since I started rescuing dogs, they are the biggest reason I wake up everyday feeling loved and valued. They rescued me. They saved me. I take them to treatment with me every month so other patients can feel the love and healing energy. And just for a few moments, it takes their minds off of what they are they for… which is refreshing.
Bushid0kid1 karma
What was your initial reaction when you were told you had a year to live? How did you spend that year?
StefanieLaRue1 karma
SHOCK!! I was in complete shock. Especially after being told I was too young to have breast cancer. Then of course the fear sank in heavily in my stomach. I felt so sick inside. And scared. That I was going to die soon, just like they said. The initial news of hearing you have cancer takes you on such an emotional roller coaster ride. All levels of emotions. And some that you certainly don't want to explore. But at the end of the day, cancer has happened now so… the question I asked myself is, What am I going to do about this!? I did neoadjavent treatment starting with chemo first then surgery and radiation. Once I was out of radiation I started traveling, marking places off my bucket list. And had a LOT of fun! I gave myself things, trips and experiences to look forward to which in a sense, seems to keep me going year after year. Staying excited to be alive, feeling gratitude for the "wake up call" and paying forward what I know now is my green juice for continuing to kick cancer' ass.
Mr_A1 karma
Is this what you do for a job, or on the side? If the former, who pays you to do this? I'm curious, but you don't need to answer if you don't want to.
StefanieLaRue1 karma
I am participating in this because I am a Spokesperson for several organizations and engage in a lot of advocacy work. But I am in treatment and on disability at the time just recovering from a major surgery. I am working on some projects prepping for launch soon but… I try and just take one day at a time. Quality of life is essential.
StefanieLaRue2 karma
I did have a mastectomy but I fought for my nipple so I had what's called a skin sparing and nipple sparing mastectomy. Therefore, I don't have scarring like most breast cancer patients who have undone a traditional mastectomy. I spoke up for my breast and my options and thankfully worked with my doctors on deciding what was right for me and had Alloderm reconstruction.
Zouch1 karma
Do you still have aspirations to continue some forms of modeling or acting once your cancer clears up, or are your focuses on activist work taking the helm?
StefanieLaRue4 karma
Yes my primary focus right now is on my activist work. I still do some modeling and acting because it's a clear way for me to also promote breast cancer awareness and animal advocacy. For Stage 4 cancer patients there is no remission. The cancer will always be part of my life. The only thing I can do is manage it and refuse to let the beast overtake me.
StefanieLaRue3 karma
Probably not but it should be! Healthy sex is healing. Not only good for the body but also for the mind and soul. My doc said if I wasn't having sex with someone else then I better be having sex with myself. Primarily because of the possibility of experiencing vaginal atrophy. YIKES!! Don't want to loose your vagina capabilities ladies! We only have this life and the moments we experience to enjoy and thrive so why not make your moments orgasmic!? Besides that, it just feels so good...
Illbjammin12 karma
How did it change your sex life?
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