Comments: 2098 • Responses: 24  • Date: 

depressme1481 karma

Those Damn 1%ers get ALL the JIZZ.

meester_snoeklepel675 karma

What else are you going to do with all that money?

Darnobar1277 karma

Big house, private jet, Ferrari, you know STUFF THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE SPERM.

meester_snoeklepel671 karma

Those things are so typical, at least this guys got some imagination! :)

KingModest987 karma

Do you ever feel the need to stop and re-assess your life whilst bottling the jizz?

meester_snoeklepel1375 karma

Yup, but it's always over in a few hours.

morning_715 karma

What does he do with the sperm?

EDIT: This was written before OP Edited his post.

meester_snoeklepel1220 karma

The first year I worked for him, I had no idea what it was for. His cleaning lady then told me that he uses it on his breakfast each morning. I realize this sounds ridiculous, but apparently he has some scientific theory about how there is something in sperm that prevents (or fights?) Alzheimer's. His father passed away from Alzheimer's and he is paranoid about it. I Should also clarify, those bottles aren't just 100% sperm. I cook it and add a large amount of sugar and corn syrup to them.

Edit Maybe of some of you sciency people can explain where he might get such a theory??

Badlay360 karma

"Hold your laughter. It's not the setup for a joke. Austrian researchers believe that a compound in human semen can have a dramatic impact on life span. Biochemists Frank Madeo and Tobias Eisenberg at the University of Graz led a team to test the effects of a substance known as spermidine. In yeast, spermidine was shown to increase life span by as much as a factor of four; in fruit flies, up to 30%; and in worms, up to 15%. When spermidine was applied to human immune cells, they too lived longer, with three times as many surviving after 12 days as in a comparison batch.

Spermidine works, the researchers show, by promoting the cellular process of autophagy — a kind of self-cleaning that, Eisenberg says, "removes cellular garbage such as clumped proteins or damaged or defective cellular organelles." Those things might otherwise harm the body."

Read more: http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,1963392_1963367_1963387,00.html #ixzz2etoKNUK8

meester_snoeklepel336 karma

Hmm. Maybe this is where he gets it, but as most people have been saying, cooking it probably kills anything good that's left. Maybe I should mention that to the old man, or maybe just let him keep eating his jizz waffles?

CalvinDehaze200 karma

Does he happen to be Chinese? I met a Chinese woman who believed semen was a great anti-aging cure. And, well, she liked to get it from the source.

meester_snoeklepel388 karma

I'm not bringing race into this one.

Enivel1969 karma

How hot do you cook it. If it's hot enough the heat would denature the proteins and basically make his whole effort useless

meester_snoeklepel105 karma

If that's the case, I have a feeling that he's lying about the whole Alzheimer's thing. I don't ask questions though. shrug

peppernipples511 karma

Cream of some young guy now high fructose corn syrup free!

If I were you I wouldn't eat the cinnamon rolls at this mans house.

meester_snoeklepel590 karma

I've made a point to not eat anything that comes from my boss ;)

PlatypusBro417 karma

What's the weirdest thing that happened inside of this job? What do you say when people ask you what you do for a living?

meester_snoeklepel1234 karma

Weirdest thing? Once I got a little bit of it on the tip of my finger while I was pouring, and without thinking, I just licked it off. I'll never forgive myself, (also, it just tasted sweet, because of all the sugar).

TheMolestedToaster367 karma


meester_snoeklepel561 karma

My immediate family doesn't know anything about it. They just know I work at a restaurant. I have only told three of my close friends. Two of my friends don't believe me, and the third just laughed when I told him about it.

That_Guy333303 karma

How the hell did you get such a job?

meester_snoeklepel673 karma

I replied to an ad on craigslist that was looking for a "Personal Cook". I was in culinary school at the time so I was just looking for something to get some experience with. Well, this wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but after he told me I would only need to work a few times a year for him and he would pay me about what I could make in a month working in a restaurant for doing a job that takes about 2 hours, I decided to go for it. I also work at a restaurant.

Porkfried273 karma

This may be the only AMA where I refuse to click the proof links.

meester_snoeklepel618 karma

Do it.

thatsuper267 karma

So does he just call you every six months and is like "let's cook"?

meester_snoeklepel18 karma

I get an email a week prior to when he wants me to make a batch. It just usually fall around the six month mark .

barnabasbigsby230 karma

How many bottles of jizz does he go through a week?

meester_snoeklepel363 karma

I have no idea. I don't work in his household and don't actually see him use it. But he has me make a new batch of about 70 bottles once every six months.

americaninquisition216 karma

How much do you make?

meester_snoeklepel342 karma

He pays me $2,000 each batch. Which is just once about every 6 months.

ReckoningGotham203 karma

As a cook, did he provide the recipe for you, or did you come up with it yourself? If it is of your own design, did you need to sample it to get it to taste right?

Thanks for sharing!

meester_snoeklepel187 karma

He gave me the recipe, I just make it and bottle it.

treade190 karma

Are you kidding? Who is this guy? What does he do with it? Which country are you in?

meester_snoeklepel378 karma

I'm in the US. I, of course, can't tell you who this guy is.

JoeDurp100 karma

Is it someone kind of well known or just a random rich dude?

meester_snoeklepel227 karma

Very random, he's not famous in any way. He makes a lot of money in the Merchant Services Industry.

kimsey7145 karma

Is it your jizz or his??!!!

meester_snoeklepel315 karma

It's not either of our jizz. He purchases it from somewhere, so I have no idea who's. I'm sure it's all anonymous.

DiabloConQueso86 karma

So it is human jizz then, yes? Or... no? please be no

meester_snoeklepel155 karma


LIVE2KILL144 karma

Is this millionaire weird? Not the jizz part, but personality wise, does he seem unusual?

Also, has he ever invited you to breakfast?

meester_snoeklepel165 karma

I haven't really spent much time with him. Mostly via email when I fist started and we have talked in person a few times but that's it. He does seem a "little" odd, but no more than any other average person. Nothing really stands out.

DutchPotato120 karma

Gadverdamme man!

meester_snoeklepel91 karma

It's not "THAT" gross... ;)

Im_Captain_Jack110 karma

How much money have you made since you started?

meester_snoeklepel292 karma

Ive probably made about $12,000 since I started three years ago.. but remember, that's for only about 10-12 hours of work. :)

LobsterTache58 karma

Do you know why he requires your services only once every six months?

meester_snoeklepel108 karma

He doesn't need me to make any more than I make once every six months is my understanding.