My short bio: Last November I was in a severe accident that left me bed ridden unable to sit or stand for 3 months. After a specialist informed me I would never walk again unless I had a spinal fusion I was shocked. So many emotions come with traumatic events and at times I felt alone and confused, not knowing anyone personally that could relate to what I was about to endure. After surgery as I was and am healing, I decided to start a personal project. The aim of this site was to not only share my story but the stories of fellow survivors. It has been terrific so far meeting and getting to know other people who have been through tough times. This site is not just for car accident survivors but for anyone who is a survivor. If you would like to be apart of my project I look forward to hearing from you!!! My Proof:

Comments: 301 • Responses: 105  • Date: 

Trauma_Zulu25 karma

I know your pain buddy. 7 months ago I was struck by a car going 60 MPH on the highway (I was on foot saving a man's life by moving his body out of the fast lane). The impact threw me about 35 feet into another car, then I was struck a second time. My legs were completely mangled, and my left thumb was torn away (now reattached). I am now in a wheelchair, in a few years I should be able to walk again.

You have a sympathetic shoulder over here, so if you want, feel free to PM me, and we can chat about the struggle and the suffering.

doxielove13 karma

Holy cow! I will PM you :) I am so happy to hear you are alive! The rest I will ask in messages :)

bassguitarking25 karma

Here is my accident story.

doxielove4 karma

OMG! what an insane story! Thank you for sharing it! Is it ok if I PM you?

BreakfastWithReddit14 karma

Damn that sounds terrible! What was the worst part when you were bedridden? Surgery? Being alone?

doxielove13 karma

I think being bed ridden was the most frustrating for sure. After 14 days in hospital they sent me home to stay in a hospital bed at my mom's. Starting at the same walls for 2 1/2 months was crappy,especially in pain.

doxielove4 karma


Fuckin_Leprechauns2 karma

I completely agree, i broke 2 vertebrae and had them fused about 8 yrs ago after rolling my jeep, and being in the bed was more frustrating than the pain, or the medication after the staph infection, only being able to walk a few paces when i did, then take a 2 hour nap because it tired me out so bad.

doxielove2 karma

I hated getting tired so freaking easily! Did you make a full recovery?

Spacely2110 karma

Was the crash your fault or not?

Sorry, but this would totally change the way i felt about it if it happened to me.

doxielove17 karma

No not at all. I was going to work, it was still drizzling after a night full of rain. It was about 9:35 am when on the other side of the road a car was speeding (about 20 over the speed limit) and did not want to slow for on coming traffic in his lane. He decided to try to pull a fast one and go around everyone in the center divider, lost control, fish-tailed, and skid two lanes over on the other side of the road directly in front of my car. I had no time to brake, everything was to fast. I ripped my abs in half, tore my intestines, my small bowel, broke my wrist, and shattered my L4 and broke my L3.

Mustaka11 karma

Fucking asshole other driver. What happened to him?

doxielove14 karma

He had a few scrapes and bruises...

Its_Gingie5 karma

If only you two could swap injuries. So sorry bout that, man. The most pain I've felt was being shot by some guy trying to steal my wife's purse. Good luck in the future, mate.

doxielove8 karma

whoa whoa whoa... you got shot! Where?

Its_Gingie7 karma

It's, uh... Let's put it this way: I got "booped" right above my man-vegetables. It was really creepy, (GRODYNESS AHEAD) because "the stuff" started leaking out...

doxielove7 karma

Geeez thats terrible, Im sorry, but so glad your ok! Did the guy who shot you get caught??

Its_Gingie4 karma

Yeah, got arrested for a year or two and the docs stitched me up just fine. :)

doxielove4 karma

Yay for him going to jail, but doesn't seem long enough in my eyes, and I am sure yours.

Spacely212 karma

Wow that sucks. Sorry. :[

doxielove6 karma

Thank you :)

austex_mike1 karma

Wow, what an idiot that guy was. Couple of questions:

What kind of car were you driving? Were you wearing a seatbelt at the time?

How about the other driver? Did he get injured badly too? What was he driving?

Glad you survived and thanks for doing an ama.

doxielove5 karma

He did make a bad mistake.

I was driving a 2008 scion TC she was a great car and saved my life.

Yes I was wearing my seat belt and actually that is what saved my life but also was what cause all my injuries in my torso. The impact and pressure of the belt pressed so hard against me that it literally tore my insides, thankfully not my skin for some odd reason or I would have bled out.

Thank you for being supportive and asking questions :)

austex_mike2 karma

Do you know what the other guy was drving? I only ask because I used to write a car blog so I am always curious how people survive crashes in particular cars. Sorry you lost your Scion, they are cute and reliable cars.

doxielove3 karma

I am not positive but I think it was an older Lincoln. I DOOOOO remember it was a silver color :)

austex_mike2 karma

Sadly in accidents size often matters. Alrhough a large SUV might be more likely to roll over in a crash so size can be bad. But if it was a Lincoln towncar or some large sedan hitting your Scion you didn't stand a chance. Force = mass x acceleration, so a big car like that has a lot of mass. Also those big cars are rear wheel drive meaning it is much easier to lose control if it gets slick. The guy should have known better.

Do yoy know if the other driver was badly injured?

doxielove3 karma

not at all! I am honestly glad he wasn't though I don't wish this pain on anyone. He only had a few scrapes and bruises

austex_mike2 karma

You are a good person for not wishing ill on someone who hurt you so badly. I wish more people were like you.

doxielove2 karma

Thank you :) That means a lot!

thethealaska1 karma

this happed to me in an accident back in 09. intestine ripped, but skin did not. im glad your on the other side of your situation though!!

doxielove2 karma

Thank you :) I couldn't and still actually don't quite grasp how that works lol I am glad my skin didn't rip but it just doesn't make sense to me... You doing good now?

CaterpillarCrunch8 karma

When I was 18, I was involved in a motorcycle accident. Came off in the rain on a tight corner, hit the ground hard and broke my pelvis into quarters, suffered two compression fractures to my spine, busted every rib, collapsed my left lung, and suffered a bunch of internal bleeding.

I was paralysed below the waist initially, and was told I'd not walk again. 7 weeks in hospital on a spinal bed, I had movement and partial feeling back. 10 years on and I'm fully mobile, though with patchy sensation down my left side (and a completely numb penis).

So, nice to meetcha!

doxielove1 karma

LOOOOOVE THIS STORY! Such a happy ending!

doxielove1 karma

Oh... and nice to meet ya as well ;)

HEAT_IS_DIE7 karma

Sorry for you. I just crashed my brothers car three weeks ago, I fell asleep on the highway and drove through an exit ramp rail into a rock wall. I had my girlfriend and her brother in the car with me and we all escaped without injuries allthough the car was totaled! We were extremely lucky, and I'm sorry that you sustained such bad injuries (I think our car looked almost as bad as yours)

doxielove5 karma

OH wow!!! I am so glad that you are ok! Where were you all coming from? Was it late at night?

HEAT_IS_DIE3 karma

In case you want to see, this is what our car looked like after the crash, not as bad as yours but close, and still I'm amazed we all got away without injuries.

doxielove1 karma

Thats nuts you walk away from that! Kick ass man :)

HEAT_IS_DIE2 karma

Thanks man. It was actually in the middle of the day, we were at my girlfriend's brother's baby's christening an hour and a half away from our place and we had driven only for about 40 minutes when it happened. The air conditioning didn't work and it was a really hot day so I just kind of passed out. I didn't even have the chance to react to the tiredness, I fell asleep as soon as I first noticed I was getting sleepy.

The speed limit on the road was 75 mph and we were doing a little under that when I woke up to see we were heading for the rail. There was a slight rocky incline before the rock wall so I guess I had time to break and the rock surface helped slow the car down enough for the speed to drop somewhere around or under 30 mph, I guess, when we crashed. The car then spun around to it's roof and then to a ditch the drivers side facing ground. I immediately yelled if everyone really was ok, because I couldn't believe it, then when they said they were in fact ok, I shouted for us all to "get out, get out, we have to get out of the car." Then, once we had climbed out I pulled everyone in for a group hug and proceeded to say "what the fuck, what the fuckkk!!", or something like that.

doxielove2 karma

crazy!!!!! That must have been the best group hug ever!!

legallegends5 karma

One of my biggest fears are car accidents, how successful was your spinal fusion? Did you experience any paralysis? If there wasn't any severe nerve damage you should have a almost full recovery. A friend of mine broke his spine in a motorcycle accident and also had a spinal fusion, 3 years later and he walks without any assistance, amazing stuff...wish you the best.

doxielove8 karma

The fusion was very successful! I am still healing since it was done in January,but already have completed two rounds of PT and started yoga last week! I am still battling pain but I can tell it is getting better, just have to know when to lay down and not over do it.

Michelle05224 karma

I can promise you the pain does subside, it just takes a while! I have my C2-C7 fused (due to tumor not accident) and it took a full year before I was completely off pain meds. Have you set off any metal detectors yet? Bed Bath and Beyond seems to be the one place that goes off, just have to show them neck scar.

doxielove1 karma

I made one Nordstroms go off, but no one seemed to care lol

I am glad to hear the pain goes away! How is everything with you after the surgery, the tumor completely gone?

Michelle05221 karma

Ha! My husband and I make it a joke about which stores I will set off. The tumor deteriorated most of my c4 and they were able to take it out and completely rebuild my vertebrae while fusing the others. All is good now, range of motion not what it used to be that's all.

doxielove1 karma

So glad it didn't effect your motion to much!

aresef4 karma

Jeez. I keep reminding myself how lucky I am. I was in a nasty wreck in November, right after Thanksgiving. Totaled my car. Don't want to get into it, but I was at fault. I was flown to the best hospital for this sort of stuff in the country. Had a broken fibula, cracked ribs, cracked pelvis, broken sacrum, skull fracture, lacerated spleen, frontal lobe hemorrhaging, orbital fracture... I was a mess. I don't remember anything of the entire day of the crash or nearly four days after that.

My first memory after the crash: I woke up in the hospital late on that fifth day, wrists tied to the bed and asked where I was and what I was doing there. The nurse gave me my answer and then he called my mother and said "he's back." I was pretty delirious the next few days, but went to work a month after the wreck, which may or may not have been a good idea.

But I'm basically 100 percent now and I know I dodged a huge bullet. I owe it all to good doctors, good family and good friends. Best of luck with your continued recovery.

doxielove3 karma

Wow I am so glad you are ok! It is probably better you don't remember anything for the first few days. Are you still going to the doctors?

aresef2 karma

I still have a hematology followup (they took the spleen, which sent my platelet levels skyrocketing) and a plastic surgery followup, for what they wanna do about the scars on my head and face, nothing too terrible. The worst of it is from about an inch in front of each of my ears then up and over like a pair of headphones, where they had to dive in for the brain surgery. It looks way better than it did six months ago, but it's more noticeable because my hair's buzzed.

doxielove2 karma

I hope they go well :) At first I was so sad about my scars, but what was weird is as soon as I was cleared to start using creams like Mederma and others to fade scars, I got oddly protective of them. Now I actually wear them with pride, like they are a badge of honor.

dryheatbruh3 karma

I have a spinal fusion as well, except I had to have the surgery to fix my Scoliosis. I can't say that I've gone through all of what happened to you, but I did experience the surgery aspect of your situation. The worst part for me bar-none was being bed ridden for about two months. I never realized how much I took my mobility for granted until it was gone. I hope your life has gotten better just as mine has!

doxielove2 karma

Omg being bed ridden is the worst! Did you atrophy like crazy? I know I did and it made walking for the first time after soooo much harder. I had to build up my strength and set little goals everyday.

dryheatbruh2 karma

Yeah I did! I lost about 20-25 pounds. Partially from lack of eating, but mostly from not moving. It was crazy the first time I walked. Its hazy, but I remember feeling so weak. It was a long journey (which I'm sure you can attest to) but I would definitely do it again. It changed my life for the better!

doxielove2 karma

I lost like 30 pounds too! I had little pencil legs lol but I agree I would def do it all over again to be able to walk!

SilentlyInWinter3 karma

As a survivor of a head-on collision, with a spinal fusion L3-L5 titanium pins and screws, and confined to bed or a torso orthotic, I feel your pain. Glad to see you survived, and want you to know the pain gets better.

doxielove2 karma

Thank you so much :)

doxielove2 karma

I am so glad that you are doing so well! How long ago was the accident?

odn_863 karma

2010 I flipped my suv on a country road. Frame came right down onto my head giving me a concussion and a t4 complete burst fracture. Seatbelt broke my sternum in half, airbags didn't deploy.

Worst pain of my life as the firefighters cut me out of wreck. Lifeflighted to the nearest hospital (20 min helicopter ride costs $17,000 thank god I had insurance). Doctors told me I was paralyzed, and I lost my shit. They were correct obviously, had a bunch of bolts put in to reinforce the spinal cord while it healed. They gave me some pain meds that made me crazy and think I was in an Afghan prison, ripped out my IV and tried to get up and walk (lol) and escape with my girlfriend.

Spent 3 months in patient rehab, lost a 3 year relationship, got out of the hospital, tackled the worst depression imaginable, got back into school. Still trying to keep on keepin' on. I wouldn't wish life in a chair on my worst enemy.

doxielove1 karma

Holy cow I am glad you are out and doing good now! When was this????

odn_861 karma

6 September 2010 at about 7am was my wreck. Was in the hospital until early December.

doxielove1 karma

That is such a long time, I agree with you, I wouldn't wish my worst enemy in a chair either. How are you holding up today?

MrWesternCanadian2 karma


doxielove1 karma

So glad to read this and hear that you are up and feeling so much better! I love the fact that you are playing again :) That's awesome!

delcoda2 karma

I've never been in an accident myself, but back in high school I knew a girl who was a pedestrian victim of a multi-car pileup on a major road. When I met her, she was having trouble walking, standing for long amounts of time, and dealing with stairs. Now she's grown up out of that awkward middle school phase, and is doing some local modeling. I haven't spoken to her in years, but I think she's doing well. :)

doxielove2 karma

I love this story!! It is amazing how after such terrible ordeals people can come out so strong and live such incredible lives with the most fascinating tales! I would love to see her pics :)

Going_Braindead2 karma

What is the biggest change to your life since?

doxielove3 karma

Loosing my independence was by far the biggest change. I am about to start looking for a job next month and am trying to regain it back and am slowly. I was a hair stylist for 7 years before. In that career there is no such thing as sick days or a guarantee that your clients will return. I am no longer able to really bend yet without pain so washing hair and standing in one place for a long time is out. I am not sure what job to look for now but am very optimistic that in the long run I will gain it all back :)

Going_Braindead2 karma

Your optimism is inspiring. I hope the very best for you

doxielove2 karma

Thank you so much :)

Spacemanslam2 karma

Look into vocational rehab in your state. You have to apply but when you get accepted they help you get training for jobs that you can do with you new restrictions, they also help you find a job. In Ohio you get a counselor who works with you through the whole thing until you have held the job for 9 months. I have a c3-c5 fusion from a broken neck and am in vocational rehab currently.

doxielove2 karma

Wow thanks for the info I have never heard of this! All states have this?

Spacemanslam1 karma think this is the address and number for all state vocational services

doxielove2 karma

Thank you :)

Lukenasty2 karma

You're not the 1st person to become a paraplegic bro. Be prepared for EVERYBODY in the entire world to look at you with pity at first. After this first impression you can change their minds by being a fucking badass and forgetting about the wheelchair. Never let it hold you back bud.

doxielove2 karma

Are you a fellow paraplegic?

joanaimmachado1 karma

I just have to say you look like such a positive person. I can only imagine the feeling of something like that happening to you and everyone coming here to share a story just like yours. After such a bad thing, it turns out to be kind of a life changing experience. I hope that you and all of these people that are going through the same things and trying to get through the phisical pain, get better as soon and as best as possible.

doxielove1 karma

Thank you so much :) I believe its your attitude that gets you through things and weather or not I have pain it could be worse. Cheesy but true.

Piners1 karma

Do you have any stories from coming out of anesthesia? Apparently I didn't believe my wife was my wife and I was yelling at the top of my lungs for my very pregnant nurse by the nickname of "PREGGERS!". I do not recall any of this. It might be that my 2nd surgery was over 9 hours being under.

I had an accidental accident. I was the only vehicle involved. Lost control on a rainy night on the interstate. Did a 180, 75 mph right into a concrete median, complete stop. Needless to say I've had to have 2 spinal fusions. The first one was only posterior. The 2nd was posterior and anterior. Lumbar L4 - S1 fusion.

Don't let the depression get to you. Nine years later I'm still trying to find ways to deal with the pain. I've had countless spinal injections, lumbar lysis to remove scar tissue, physical therapy and medication. Trying to pursue nerve cauterization at the moment. Never give up.

doxielove1 karma

hahah preggers.. No this time I did not have stories from out of anesthesia, but when I woke up from my thyroidectomy I got super angry and tried to punch someone lol

Are you doing ok now?

misophone91 karma

Just wanted to say I'm so sorry this happened, I know someone who was in something less severe but sort of similar. My aunt's fiancé was hit in a crash and because of that he was bedridden for some time, then went to crutches, and now has a limp. He had to give up his dream job because of it. Now he's studying to work in the medical field and has a daughter who just turned 2. :) I'll make sure to tell him about your site next time I see him and see if he wants to share his story. You are truly an inspiration!

doxielove1 karma

Thank you :) That means a lot, really. I would love to hear from him and read all about his story if he would like to share. If I do not hear from him let him know I wish him the best of luck :)

karmarat1 karma

I have a posterior fusion of the T10-L2 due to a traumatic burst fracture of T12. I was the careless asshole in my story, although not driving. (I never risk anyone but myself, and luckily even those days seem over.) Four years after my injury/fusion surgery, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Handling that with the complications of my back "problems' has been incredibly difficult, but manageable. I definitely am excited to see this!

doxielove1 karma

How are you doing today? Are you still battling cancer?

karmarat2 karma

All clear at last scans! 14 nodes removed during mastectomy, only 1 positive. So far so good, my first clear scan was just a few weeks ago- right after my first cancer anniversary.

Nobody cares about the back issue, one of my dearest friends is a OT and she told me I should be "fine" and that it was in no way disabling. Now that I've been out of chemo for a few months, my boyfriend wants me to look for work and I've been determined too healthy for disability.

Can you tell I'm struggling a little emotionally? Ha! It could always be worse, and I am so incredibly grateful it isn't.

How are you emotionally? I know being bed-ridden can make anyone go a little nuts, let alone the trauma of a massive car accident.

doxielove1 karma

YAY! I have some days of being down but not to many. It usually hits me when I feel back to normal and go and try to do an old habit and a pain shoots through me. Not being capable of running or jumping bugs me, but I had a way harder time dealing with cancer than this emotionally. It is a totally different set of emotions, as you know.

karmarat1 karma

Oh, I am in complete agreement about that. Partially that's why I got so excited to see comments from others with both! I feel like so few people in my life understand even one of my many issues, let alone my two major physical problems. I also suffer from chronic migraine and life-long clinical depression.

doxielove2 karma

Well I am more than happy to lend you an ear anytime :) We can me pen pals! I actually make a pretty good one ;)

karmarat1 karma

I don't want to misrepresent my pen-pal abilities. It's good when I can focus mentally and sit at the computer desk, but that isn't always possible. I am really excited to make your acquaintance, and certainly do wish to keep talking, though.

doxielove1 karma

haha ok :)

bofh420_11 karma

What about chronic pain suffers? I cannot get a fusion because it would cause catastrophic failure of the discs above. It is a genetic and called discogenic disease. I am on 100 mcg per hour fentanyl patches with percoset for breakthrough, plus skelaxin and 3 depression meds.

If I do not fit, it is okay. :)

doxielove1 karma

No of course you fit! Would you like to write about your story for my site!!!? :)

mustangswon11 karma

Hey person, I wasnt in an accident but I did have a spinal fusion when I was 5 years old due to by spine growing severely to the left.

doxielove1 karma

How old are you now? Are you doing well?

Weareallaroundgaming1 karma

I am sorry if this question is too personal. Do you think when you heal you will ever drive again? I can't imagine ever getting behind a wheel again if this happened to me.

doxielove1 karma

Well I have driven but not far. I am going to keep trying but it is very difficult since when cars go by me on either side I get flashbacks... But I am sure I will soon or a later just get use to it :)

cdjflip1 karma

Damn. 2 months ago I was in an accident when the driver of the car I was in fell asleep at the wheel. I woke up to the car spinning, smoke everywhere, and all the other passengers screaming. I was pulled out of the car and rushed to the hospital. I ended up dislocating my right leg, breaking my hip, and had a gash along my right cheekbone. I've been in a wheelchair since, but thanks to the surgeons I'm scheduled to be able to stand next month and hopefully begin walking sometime after that. It sucks because I'll have to relearn how to walk and rebuild all the muscle, but I'm honestly just glad that I'm going to get the chance to.

doxielove1 karma

So glad that you are going to be able to stand again! Are you in the hospital now, or did they let you go home until the surgery? It will be physically and mentally challenging to re learn to walk, but you got this :) The mind likes to play games, but you will get past it and look back on all these challenges and be amazed at how far you came. I was not in a wheelchair, but atrophied extremely bad from my being bed ridden. Now I walk miles at a time, I actually feel the best either laying down or in motion better than sitting or standing in one place. It is just insane to me to think that just 5 months ago I was proud of myself for reaching my goal of being able to walk to the bathroom by myself or to the living room.

bumchuff1 karma

Similar to you really but this was '93, a car accident at about 85mph. I was a passenger, not the driver. Broken pelvis, two crushed vertebra, prolapsed discs and various organ injuries. I was able to go back to work 27 months later having had a spinal fusion and various other bits sorted out. Without question, the worst part was being in bed for just over two years. I couldn't concentrate to read for a lot of that because of medication and we only had (I think) four tv channels. I nearly went out of my mind.

doxielove1 karma

Omg 2 years is soooo long. I was going stir crazy over being confined for 3 months. How are you today?

UnoriginalMike1 karma

I want to ask you a bit about the technical side of things. I do neuromonitoring for spine cases all the time.

Your scar looks long, do you remember what levels were fused? How many rods? Screws? Where was the surgery done?

Do you remember having neuromonitoring? If so, what can I say to a patient or do when the patient is still awake to make them feel more at ease.

It seems that when I show up, the patient is already nervous. They tend to ask me what I do and when I tell them, even the super simple version, I get blank stares.

doxielove2 karma

I had my L4 fused to my L3 & 5. It was long for not just the fusion but to removed all the pieces that were everywhere. Short story is the original hospital I was taken to after the accident fixed me internally and originally told me my back was just broken not shattered. They sent me home 14 days later on bed rest and told me not to try to sit and def. don't stand. Thank God I listened or I would be paralyzed. After internally bleed a few weeks later due to the same hospitals mistake of sending me home on the perception of blood thinners mixed with IB profen for pain, I decided to seek a specialist. He looked at the original xray and was appalled I did not have surgery right away and that since its been almost 3 months from the actual accident my bones are trying to set in a dislocated form. It was gnarly.

Anywho, here is a pic of my fusion. It is actually pretty small for what I was expecting.

[deleted]1 karma


doxielove1 karma

I dunno... I think that spine wise scoliosis is worse. How are you doing now?

SoonToBeAsked1 karma


doxielove1 karma

Next time I know :)

Dark_sunrise1 karma

Glad you are alive, OP. Vehicle accidents are scary! I was involved in one when I was around 17, left me bedridden for a few months, wheelchair for 6 months after, crutches to finish the year. I was thrown out of a vehicle (unbuckled of course), and my best friend was buckled, walked away without a scratch. We vehicle was presumed to have flipped around 6-8 times, and I was about 60 feet from the vehicle when they found me. Other than chronic back pain and a lifetime full of taking medications, I have made a full recovery. Wish you the best of luck in the future.

doxielove1 karma

WHOA. Do you remember the whole thing? I am glad you have made a full recovery thats amazing!

OtisMeezer1 karma

I had fusion done almost 9 years ago. The pain remains although at manageable levels and I have come to terms with it as part of my life. It does not define me.

doxielove1 karma

What was the fusion from?

QwopperFlopper1 karma

What kind car where you in? EDIT: scion tc. Nevermind.

doxielove1 karma


bronko911 karma

I think that's an amazing thing. When I was 15 year old I had a spinal fusion at the L5-S1 juncture following a diagnosis of spondylolisthesis. I was a top 20 wrestler in the state at that time at a school that prides itself in wrestling, with scholarship potential. It was devastating. I was told it was the last I would see of the mats. But I just could not accept that. I had the surgery in January and trained my ass off in PT and in workouts that my friends on the team would meet me after they got off practice for. Fast forward 10 months and I was released to start the home opener. I was no longer scholarship caliber, and I would never be again. But I am proud to say I am now an assistant coach for my old high school and the head coach of the areas youth wrestling team. These injuries can be detrimental, debilitating and demoralizing, but they are in no way life sentences. Any one can achieve anything they set their minds to. Keep trucking, brother.

doxielove2 karma

SO RAD!!! Congrats man! you prove perseverance and hard work are a legit thing :)

GonzoUCF1 karma

Spinal fusion here too. A girl was 3x the legal limit drunk and was driving on the wrong side of the interstate. She ran head on into the car I was in killing my friend sitting in the passenger seat, shattering the leg of the driver and causing internal injuries to the guy sitting next to me. I was in the backseat, passenger side and had the following injuries: Broken back, wrist shattered, femur shattered, lungs collapsed, collar bone broken, ribs broken, ruptured gallbladder, liver failure (briefly), and a slew of cuts and scrapes from them having to use the jaws of life to get me out of the car.

Doctors told my parents I wasn't going to live. Once I survived the critical 48/72hrs they said I would live but would never walk again. After they saw movement in my legs they said I would walk but would need a cane for the rest of my life. It was a long TOUGH road but thankfully I could walk in a room and you'd never know anything happened to me.

My advice to you is to keep good people around you. Keep family and friends that will push you when you get down because you will need it. I was a pretty active guy before the accident and to have to depend on people for everything just changed my life so much. After I recovered (luckily, much faster than they anticipated) I had a whole new outlook on life. You survive something like that and petty issues don't seem to matter as much as they used to. After my accident I moved to New York (from Florida) for 5 years, experienced more in the time since my accident than I ever could have imagined, decided to move back to Florida and now I'm studying to get my masters in the field I always dreamed of but never thought I was good enough or smart enough to accomplish. We only get so long in this life and you have to be sure to make the most of it. Good luck spinal fusion brotha! (or sistah!)

Edit: Removing sexism

doxielove2 karma

Wow I am so sorry to hear about your friend. I am glad though to read you are such a miracle :) I personally hate that doctors can be so verbally pessimistic and think that those comments are what start people on the downward spiral of depression. You are so tough and strong for coming out and pushing past all the obstacles and I commend you :)

GonzoUCF1 karma

Thank you! I looked through your website and I think writing things down is going to be a big thing. I had some emotional issues while recovering (19yrs old and facing the possibility of never walking again can take its toll on a guy) so I found that writing what I was feeling ended up giving me that outlet that I needed. It's also nice to go back and read it every once in a while when something petty creeps in your mind and gets you negative. Stay positive because you're alive for a reason! If you need someone to talk to, keep my username and feel free to reach out! Here's a little something I wrote when I was in New York thinking about my accident. Missed my stop by about 3 stations on the subway because I felt that inspiration and couldn't stop:

doxielove1 karma

What a touching story. I am so sorry you endure what you did but the way you portray everything is amazing. I couldn't even imagine how tough everything had to of been. Thank you for sharing your story!

ratinmybed1 karma

I cannot even imagine what trauma an accident of such magnitude must've been to go through, both physically and mentally.

A few years ago I was in a smallish car collision, on the autobahn, I was in the backseat and my father, who was driving, had to make a complete stop to avoid hitting the car that was stopped in front of us (sudden traffic jam). The car behind us didn't pay enough attention or didn't brake fast enough and crashed into us just as I was leaning over to look what the hold-up was.

I got whiplash and that small thing still plagues me to this day (weak neck, prone to getting headaches when stress is put on my neck/back, possibly got BPPV in connection with it), furthermore I was quite scared of being on the autobahn and at high speeds after that, especially when it wasn't me driving.

My story is completely negligible compared to yours and others in this post, but I still empathize and hope things will get better for all those that had it worse than me.

doxielove1 karma

Thank you :) Although you might have not endured the magnitude of injuries you are reading on this post (thankfully) does not mean that after being in any car accident isn't mentally draining, it still makes you aware of the power that is behind cars and how truly fragile you are. I am glad that you are ok and sorry for your whiplash, that sucks.

Thehellisthis_1 karma

I was in two accidents in one night. I was coming home from college with cold. It was dark out but clear. A snowstorm hit suddenly, a complete white-out, right before I got on the highway. I pulled over debating whether to turn around or not but; it cleared up as quickly as it hit.

I decided the coast was clear and got on the ramp. I was going about 20mph under the speed limit due to the new slush. When the car in front of me slammed on the brakes, I swerved into the other lane to avoid him. My tail end spun out and I did a donut as slid into the ditch pretty hard. I cracked my forehead pretty well on the window but I was okay.

After fruitlessly trying to rock my car out of the mud a state trooper saw me. He asked if I wanted attention for the bump on my head but I refused and he then took me to the nearest town to wait for my patents to come and get me. He wanted me out of the ditch quickly, he knew I wasn't going to be the only slide off that night.

My parents arrived about an hour later. All the while it has been snowing steadily. My father insisted we go to my little two wheel drive car because he thinks he can rock it out of the mud. After a few minutes of arguing about me just wanting to go home and it wait until tomorrow, I finally let up and said if show him where the car was. I very much regret not putting up more of a fight but I was sore and tired.

On the way to my car we saw about 5-7 cars off the shoulder and ditches in only a couple mile span if highway. My mother was struggling to keep the car in one lane as the whole highway had been covered with a sheet of ice. We see my car it is just past an upside down pick up truck and a police car. Traffic is slowly trickling through the mess of accidents and emergency responders. Many are driving with their hazards on.

My mother pulls onto the left shoulder and my father goes to try to free my car. He was unable to. He gets into the passenger seat and goes to try to call the tow truck he saw a few hundred yards back.

Next thing I know my mother is calling my name. I slowly wake up and then I become fully aware of all the pain. A semi truck had slid off the road and hit the right rear of our ford fusion.

I was sitting in the back right passenger seat and was pinned down in the car. My jaw, hip and shoulder were dislocated. I had a bad concussion and had small stress fractures in a lot of my cervical and thoracic vertebrae .My father didn't have his seatbelt on and he came over the seats and hid head went out the back window. When he came over the seats he took the head rest with him and the end of it went through my cheek.

Recovery has been rough. I won't ever be 100% okay again and will live with joint pain and scars forever. I'm dealing with it as best as I can and I'm happy. That first month is hard. The next few are mentally challenging as well as physical. Please let me know if you need anything. I'm just a PM away.

tl:dr Semis and snow don't mix well. I was beat to shit. Recovery is rough but it does get better. Let me know if you need anything.

doxielove1 karma

That so insane... I am sorry you went and are going through this.... Are you parents ok?? How long ago was this? Sorry I like asking questions. Are you home now and mending as well as you can?

canada_dryer1 karma

Is insurance covering your hospital bills?

doxielove2 karma

yes most of them a few they are trying to dispute saying they are "out of network providers" but in the end they will have to based on the fact that in an emergency you have no choice of where the ambulance takes you.

aresef1 karma

Yeah, I had none of those issues with mine. But ER and individual doctora and everything else left me with $4k out of pocket, and my car insurance is about to jack up.

doxielove1 karma

I am afraid to even see what my insurance will do when I get a car again and am insured...

aresef1 karma

There was another thing on my record because another state done fucked up and put it in as reckless driving when it was a speeding conviction. Finally got my Maryland record fixed today.

doxielove1 karma

ughhhhhh glad you got that fixed.... mistakes like that are shitty..

FTFY_I_DID1 karma

I was in a SUV that rolled over a few times going about 50 MPH a few years ago. 5 person SUV but we had 7 in it, 2 people in the trunk, and one person even flew out of the car. Woke up hanging from the ceiling by my seatbelt. SUV was demolished, everyone walked away. Off-duty EMT was driving the other way and saw it happen. He said he had never seen an accident that bad that everyone could walk away from. It was my greatest life-changing moment.

doxielove1 karma

Such an awesome story! Glad you all were so lucky! Did you get hit/ hit another car? If so, did they walk away as well?

FTFY_I_DID1 karma

The driver decided it would be a good idea to hit a dip in the road going way too fast. It resulted in us getting some air time, and the driver cranked the steering wheel to one side trying to overcorrect. When we landed the front tires were almost sideways and the rest is pretty much a blur. It was so dumb of us to have that many people in the car but we figured it would be okay because the grocery store we were going to was so close. The person who flew out of the car happened to be my sibling and I knew they were in the trunk so I just woke up screaming wondering if she was okay. It was the scariest moment of my life, and pretty eye-opening to how fragile life really is.

doxielove1 karma

That is so intense! It is crazy the moment you truly realize you are not invincible. I do know though that since that moment for me, life has been more meaningful.

Stalwart_Shield1 karma

I have 2 spinal fusions from a car accident. L3-L5 and C5-C6.

doxielove2 karma

How are you holding up with them?

Stalwart_Shield1 karma

Just getting used to it. Being very careful.

doxielove2 karma

It's a weird feeling huh!? Even when my pain is minimal I can always feel it. Its like a constant dullish feeling no matter what.

Stalwart_Shield1 karma

If I focus I can feel my heartbeat in both of mine.

I have an interesting theory on that dull ache though. Remember when you first got it and it just hurt all the damn time? I think I just got used to the pain and now largely ignore it.

You probably don't have to deal with this part because I also have the fusion in my neck, but turning my head to look at something? Forget it. Just think how uncomfortable it is when you try to twist your back, and then realize that you turn your head to look at things all the damn time. And being a tall guy I regularly smack my head on low door frames and other obstacles, but these days whenever it happens it's like lightning all the way down my spine.. and it's pretty scary.

Plus side though: perfect posture.

doxielove2 karma

Hahahah yes the posture is a plus. I agree with us getting use to it :) I do not have the neck fusion but for some reason if I turn my head to fast a sharp pain goes through my lower back and hips...

joshr451 karma

Not a car accident but my scar looks almost the same as your's just not as long, had spinal fusion on L4-5 mine only goes to the top of my belly button.

I had a Trampoline accident when i was 13-14 which cause the majority of my pain throughout my life which i attributed to growing pains and i just dealt with them, then when i was 23 i got food poisoning and threw up so hard it herniated & tore in the front, and blew out the back of the disc, doctor's wouldn't believe me being 23 and being in that much pain said it was just muscle pain and told me to go back to work, on meds i could only stand 15 mins at max and had to sit down.

doxielove1 karma

Doctors sometimes can be just plain insensitive and make such bad judgement calls.... Did you seek a second opinion??

joshr451 karma

yup, after urgent care visit i saw my regular doctor, hes the one that told me after i had run out of pain meds to just take ibuprofen and go back to work, then i told him i wanted a referral to a pain clinic since i had a friend that worked at one, all they would do is steroid injections and the last one they tried was a 6 needle injection to numb the nerves around my spine, the doctor after he got the last needle in place bumped it which caused me to yell at him and he didn't realize he did it and he told me calm down i haven't even done anything yet.... wanted to punch him in the face.

they couldn't help me and wouldn't do anymore then injections because i was so young so they referred me over to another pain management place where i got a nice doctor who actually ran a CT scan so they could see what actually was going on, and then i was sent to the surgeon to talk about options and i kinda wish i never went with fusion but i didn't want it happening again there.

Edit: Side note.. the second place i went to that just did the steroid injections never numbed the area.... Ever. i had one steroid injection while at the pain management place where i was numbed around the whole area, barely felt a thing.

doxielove1 karma

You wish you didn't have the fusion?

wagnerjr1 karma

I'm a cancer patient and I'm stuck wearing a neck brace for most waking hours. I just had a (less severe) spinal fusion of two vertebrae. Not quite the same, but I agree that it sucks. Believe me, I've spent a lot of time in hospital beds staring at walls.

doxielove1 karma

If you do not mind me asking, what type cancer? When I was 16 I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. After 3 rounds of I 1-31 radiation and two surgeries, I was in remission.

wagnerjr1 karma

Osteosarcoma. Twenty plus surgeries and counting, chemo, max dose of radiation. Six years

doxielove1 karma

Wow you are such a strong person. I wish you the very best. Are they doing more surgeries?

pizzus1 karma

Lucky you, spinal fusions are really just more of a way to make sure your back doesn't get even more fucked up.

At least you can still walk, though. Most people that end up with spinal fusions aren't that lucky.

doxielove1 karma

I always think about how lucky I am that I can walk. Everyday I take my pups for their walks and it crosses my mind each time :)

karmarat1 karma

My surgeon told me at one point while I was still in the hospital, that something like 70% of people with my exact injury never walk again. I hated him for telling me that! How terrifying. I walk just fine, thank you very much, man! I'm sure he was actually just pointing out what a wonderful job he did.

doxielove1 karma

hahaha I thought the same exact thing when I was told how close I was to being a paraplegic! I was instantly like look I'm doing fine!!! haha

karmarat1 karma

With enough pain meds, I could touch my toes as soon as three months after my own accident (drunken fall from the second story of a house).Not quite five years later, I wouldn't say I'm doing great, but I can still touch my toes!

doxielove2 karma

Yay for toe touching!!!! Its funny how its the little things after incidents that matter :) I was so excited over so many short term goals and still set them for myself.

Handsyboy1 karma

I've been paralyzed for 17 years now, and had a spinal fusion a few years ago for my scoliosis. Hell of a surgery man, the pain I felt the first time I woke up after was so crazy. The recovery time was the real kicker though. It's boring being stuck in the same room for that long haha.

doxielove1 karma

Are you paraplegic or quadriplegic?? I am so sorry to hear that either way. What do you do to pass time?

Handsyboy1 karma

Paraplegic at the T8, so I'm not too bad off (relatively). My parents thought ahead and surprised me after the surgery with a DS and a few games, and when I could sit up a bit my dad brought my laptop and bought some WoW time for the two of us. The part that I hated the most was how long I had to wait until I could actually eat something. Water and ice chips are no substitute for a home cooked meal.

doxielove1 karma

So true... I hated how dry my mouth got and the pains in my stomach from lack of real food. Your parents sound awesome. I spent much of my down time right after playing CIV 5 lol

para95691 karma

Did you ever get a lawyer and sue the guy who hit you?

doxielove1 karma

Well I got a lawyer but the guy didn't have anything. Very stereo-typical story of a guy straight out of jail and rehab. I did however get most of my medical bills paid and only a few more my lawyer is working on :)

Serrath4311 karma

my mom had scoliosis for most of her life. the doctors kept telling her that it would level off soon. it never did. i don't remember exactly what the curve ended up being, but it was bad. as a result of the scoliosis she had 4-5 severely herniated discs. the whole surgery came down to them fusing 4-5 of her vertebrates in her lower spine, with 2 rods going the length of her spine as well as a cage at the bottom for stability. they used 2 ribs and part of her hip for the fusion. her scar goes from her lower stomach around to her middle back.

sorry for grammar and capitalization, keyboard broke and i haven't bought another one yet. everything but the shift keys work.

if you have any questions for her feel free to pm me and i will ask her and get back to you.

doxielove1 karma

I will! I wish the best for your mother!

mpstar1 karma

I was involved in an auto accident,,it started pooring rain,i was going 25 miles when i hydo-planed into on coming traffic,,,,,my truck was totalled,,I did break my back c2 thru c6,had titaninum for 2 years had a fusion,,,,was out for 2 yrs,,I'm better can pick up anything over 100 lbs,,,The bad part is that the pain never goes away,,,winters are bad ,,JUst hope not to get arthrtis,,then it will be painful,,They say once you have any kind of back surgery,,you are never the same,,I agree,,,,good luck to all who suffer with back pain,,,

doxielove1 karma

That sucks :( How long ago was it?

RatbikeJack1 karma

When i was 21 a man in a car overtook on a blind bend (while speeding) at night and hit me on my motorcycle head on coming the other way.

Broken femur, opposite tib and fib, broken hand, dislocated shoulder and all my front teeth smashed (they crunched together).

2 years later still recovering. He got a few points on his license and a small fine (120 quid).

Luckily he was insured and i'm british so it didnt cost me a penny in healthcare. 2 years off work and counting though... Should get a huge insurance payout, enough to perhaps buy a small house for my wife and kid outright

doxielove1 karma

Omg thats terrible! How is your everyday going? Are you still progressing?

RatbikeJack1 karma

It was a combined speed of over 110mph. I was in a wheel chair for 4 months, with metal pins sticking out of my left shin. On the night if my accident they basically replaced most of my right femur with a titanium rod because i apparently left so much bone behind on the road. I was fully conscious and very very cold throughout the accident all the way until the double shot of morphine they gave me in the ambulance because they were horrified that i was still awake.

Then they took a bone graft from my hip and put it in my leg which left me in out-loud screaming agony for weeks.

Moved on to a cast and crutches after about 6 months. 1 3/4 years later i'm walking almost normally and can jog lopsidedly for about 3.5 minutes on the totally flat ground of a treadmil (not possible on even slightly rough ground, too unstable). Both walking and jogging cause great pain in the hip that has the metal femur implant and aching knees.

Another problem keeping me from returning to work is that i've no sensation in the skin of my thumb (nerve damage), restriction of movement and pain at the base of my thumb where i've got bones grinding because they healed wrong. I had just finished my degree in human biology and graduated 2 weeks before the accident late 2011 and was set to start working in a lab in cambrige.

Even with all my injuries i had my bike replaced in the first month after the accident and was able to transfer onto it on my own from the wheelchair and ride after 3 months. I just wrapped a towel around my lower leg and frame/pins because i had to cut my trousers up to fit and didn't want the rozzers to have a fit over it... It also helped keep the cold out (it was march with freezing temperatures and metal pins going into your bones act as a heat exchanger, chilling you from the inside). Attending local rallies with metal pins and a frame sticking out of your shin causes a bit of a stir.

Rode 150 miles to a mates house for a small private biker Do in his garden with a cast on my leg... and i got married and went on honeymoon to italy with it on (cut the cast off for the wedding because the bones were almost finished uniting and i couldn't get my suit trousers over the cast).

Now with my hand, hip and knee pain i still ride 300 miles to rallies up north (got one in a few weeks). Have to pull over every now and then for a rest but my bike is a gsxr1100 sportsbike and the seat is less than comfortable on the arse anyway.

As one of my friends put it; "Man's gotta ride, you have to respect that" when a few of my other friends called me mental for attending a local rally with a full over ankle and knee cast and sleeping in a tent for two nights.

Don't let this shit get you down. You're alive so keep on living.

I can post pics of my scars as proof if anyone wants to call me a faggot. Had to take em recently to give to my solicitor as yet more evidence of injury, pain (largest one on my thigh is incredible painful under pressure even though i have reduced sensation in the skin of my entire thigh (it's the scarred muscle tissue underneath that's sensitive) disfigurement.

doxielove1 karma

Love this. I am so happy you got back on the horse and rode again! You are one tough cookie and your wife and child are lucky to have such a strong man in their lives! It is inspiring people such as yourself that makes others want to get back up and on their "horse". Congrats to you.

RatbikeJack1 karma

Child isn't born yet, and my wife is the poor creature who had to look after me.

PTSD and adjustment disorder make me a total arsehole. I still seeing a shrink, can't sleep through the night without ptsd nightmares waking me up, then i can't get back to sleep - near 2 years of partial sleep deprivation and counting now.

doxielove1 karma

Hmmm your wife looks after you for a reason so its probably not true you're an arshole all the time:) And if you didn't go to therapy after that would have really shocked me. So even with this extra knowledge I stand by my previous statement.

RatbikeJack1 karma

Yeah it really fucked with my head because i was conscious the entire time until they dosed me with morphine in the ambulance.

doxielove1 karma

I was conscious my entire accident as well. Not the same injuries as yours but really would have rather blacked out. I still have gnarly flashbacks when in a car and am scared to drive, but I am starting to slowly get behind the wheel again. It helps I live in downtown SD so everything is walkable and I don't have to force myself to drive far.

RatbikeJack1 karma

In my dream i feel the lurch in my stomach as i went airborne, so realistic.

I hit the guys windscreen backwards and my spine was saved by a tin of roses chocolates in my backpack (christmas present from my nan, it was late december)

Don't let it get to you. Brains just do retarded shit sometimes.

doxielove1 karma

whats weird about me is I had dreams as long as I can remember that I would die in a car accident. It always started and ended the same, me driving and listening to the radio and out of nowhere I slam into something and wake up sweating.... Well I didn't die but it happened the exact way I dreamt. Since the accident I have not had that dream again.... Weird I just now realized I stopped having that dream.

Madaboutwipes1 karma

You are a trooper! I think you have shown an amazing ability to bear pain and adversity. I wish you the best and hope you recover soon. After a terrible bike crash which severely limited use of my right hand I felt dejected and helpless, reading about other accident victims and talking to them gave me a huge boost. I hope this helps to comfort you a little. Good luck and wish you a speedy recovery!!

doxielove1 karma

Thank you :) I am glad you are doing better :) It helps so much to talk to others and why I started my site in the first place :) Would you like to be apart of it?!

luckystarTS1 karma

Hey, fellow survivor. I was in a car accident 6 years ago that put me in a coma for 18 days. The only injury I sustained was a CG fistula, my brain was bleeding into my eye socket pushing it out. My vision is a little worse and I am fully recovered now, but when I first woke up I could not walk or count to five on my fingers. Good to hear you are recovering as well.

doxielove1 karma

Whoa! how long ago??

_Ratatoskr_0 karma

This one time I was pulling into my parking space and I accidentally scraped up against a beam. Messed up the paint a bit.

doxielove1 karma

Hope the beam had insurance!