IAmA 16 year old with both parents in prison. Ask me anything

Bummer that really sucks. I don't have any questions but I wish you all the best.

Thank you.

I'm. In the same. Situation. My mom killed my dad. And she is serving a life sentence. And I don't have my dad any more. This has left me very lonley. And scared. How has your life been changed?

I'm so sorry. :( If you ever need someone to talk to, just PM me. I'd be happy to help you with anything you need.

My life is completely different than I ever thought it would be. Getting out of the town I was in and having a fresh start is what made things better for me. If that's an option for you, I think you should do it too. It makes a world of difference.

why are your parents in prison?

My dad got 33 years for making and distributing child pornography and sleeping with my babysitter. My mom got 12 years for armed robbery.

How old was your babysitter?

14-15

Did he do anything to you?

I guess I'll never know. I'm inclined to think that he did, and that my memory is just repressed. I can remember being really depressed as a little girl, I even wrote a suicide note once. I would sit in a chair in the living room backwards and just cry for hours. I can't remember what made me so depressed, so I think it had something to do with my dad. I know he had me on video because he has a camera set up in the wall of the shower. He video taped everyone who was in there

That's really bad.

Do you have any want/need to see him again?

If you ever need someone to talk to about general things you can.

I'm not sure how I feel about him right now. I don't think I can resolve this easily.

Jesus Christ, you must have a story to tell.

Yep, I've got quite a few.

I would be willing to hear some of them, if that's cool.

Throughout growing up with my dad, there were some fishy things going on that I noticed, but was too young to recognize what they meant. Examples:

I went upstairs to ask my dad what we were having for dinner, and he was in his room looking through a peep hole, kind of shaking. I just dismissed it and walked away as I thought be might have been praying or something. Turns out he had drilled a hole in the closet wall through to the bathroom. He was looking at my babysitter getting dressed after her shower.

He would NEVER let me use his computer. EVER. One time I walked downstairs to where he was on his computer, and I kind of heard a peep of some moaning or something of the sort. He shut his laptop so quickly and changed the subject. He was looking at the porn.

He told me about a pen pal he had in Indiana. Turns out the dude was sending him child pornography.

At night, my babysitter would cuddle with me extremely closely. She would wrap her legs all over me and hug me really tight. Turns out she was protecting me and herself from my dad. Because at night, he would come into the room and molest her.

Wow, that sounds like a traumatic place to live. I'm sorry that you experienced something like that. Do you still keep in contact with your babysitter or father? Was the babysitter a relative of yours or just a family friend? Thanks for sharing the story by the way, it's quite interesting.

She went to church at the same place me and my dad went, so he figured it would be a good idea for her to babysit me. I ha a conversation with her a few weeks about the whole situation. We're on good terms. My dad still calls me, and we talk, but I'm not very talkative.

Yeah I figure you wouldn't be, so are you at a foster home or something? How old were you when they were both put away?

My dad was arrested when I was in 5th grade. My mom, when I was in 8th. I moved in with my aunt first, then my grandma, then my friend's parents, and now I'm in Texas with my sisters.

Do you visit either parent in prison? Do you plan on trying to have a real relationship with either when they get out?

I've visited my dad once. He's in Virginia so I'm not able to visit much. I'm not sure I would want to even if he was right next door. I visit my mom more often. I love my mom with everything I have. She had a serious gambling problem, and it lead to her demise. But everyone that knew her would say she is the sweetest, kindest, most good-hearted person. Nobody expected that out of her. She was desperate, and she went too far. Me and her still have a great relationship, although I'm pissed that I have to pay for all of her mistakes. I love her unconditionally. With my dad, it's a little different story. When he was out, he was a GREAT father to me. Everyone thought he was super dad. Was always taking me camping, playing basketball with me, playing with my dolls with me. So then he gets arrested for all of these terrible things, and I have to question everything he was. Was it all fake? I'm not sure. Was he using me as bate so he could get my friends to come over? Yes. Did he love me? I think so. I'm hesitant to answer his calls, I'm bitter to him, I can't forgive him. But at the same time he's my dad and I love him, so I can't just leave him high and dry. He isn't getting out until he is in his 80's, so I guess I don't really have to worry about having a real relationship with him when/if he gets out. :/

I hear ya, all those feelings concerning your dad sound really natural and confusing. As hard as it must be, it sounds like you're processing them well. Glad to hear that you are close with your mom! I hope your living situation gets smoothed over soon!

Thank you. After I turn 17 it won't be such a struggle because I'll be able to make my own living decisions. Until then, I guess I'm a run away! Haha. But yeah, I think I'm doing a good job handling things. I wasn't for the longest time, but lately I'm doing much better.

You sound like a very strong and intelligent person- I have no doubt you will be the type of person who inspires everyone you meet!

Hey thanks! I hope so. I like to think the reason all of this happened to me is so I can help people in the future.

I have a feeling you will.

I really hope so.

Really off topic, but you're a great writer for a 16 year old. Best of luck!

Thank you! I write a lot of poetry, and also try to write short stories but can never finish them. :/

As someone who also has a parent in prison and doesn't know the other one, I tip my hat to you. My mother was sentenced on my 16th birthday and has been gone for over a decade. Life is what you make of it...don't ever let anyone tell you differently. Also, college is important...do that shit. No one ever told me to go and I had to figure it out on my own. Education is the key to elevating yourself from your situation. Only you can change your circumstances. I was about your age when I left "home". It took me a while to figure things out. I worked two jobs and went through a couple of abusive boyfriends. Everyone thought I was going to end up being drug addicted, someones baby momma, or a stripper. The best advice I can give is the following: 1. Keep yourself together no matter what. 2. The only person you can depend on is yourself. 3. If a relationship doesn't make you feel good, leave and never look back. 4. Always make sure you have a car. If you have transportation you can do anything. 5. Never do anything that could possibly get you into trouble. We seem to have an excuse more than anyone because they will all say "Well just look at her parents." Fuck that. 6. Try not to blame your circumstances on the past. That harbors hate and will only bring you misery. Learning to understand your situation is a better use of your time. 7. Save money, dont spend it on dumb shit you dont need. You never know when youll get an unexpected expense and it's hard to handle when you don't have someone to rely on to help you. 8. Love yourself. No matter what happened in your past it's made you who you are today. 9. Honesty is always the best policy in life. 10. Your struggle makes you who you are. Never be ashamed of it.

<3 and good luck! Feel free to PM me if you ever need advice. As someone who shares the same shoes I understand....

That's some of the best advice I've ever heard. I agree with all of it. I think our situation is more of a reason to do something good with life. When something terrible happens, you find out who you really are. It'd be a waste to put all of that passion into nothing.

Who takes care of you ?

It's really hard to find a place to call home after it's taken away from you. So I've been moving around a lot since freshman year. I'm now a senior. First, I moved in with my aunt, but she was pretty terrible to me, so I decided to move into my grandma's in Texas. That was even worse. The school was bad (teachers were all dumb asses, was doing things I learned in 6th grade) so my friend back home said I could move in with her family. Turns out her parents are psychotic conservative Christian crazies. So, this summer I'm staying with my sisters in Texas. I don't plan on going back to live with my friend's parents, but they don't know that yet. It's been a mess.

Any experiences with the conservative family worth mentioning?

What was it about living with your aunt and grandmother that was terrible?

I didn't see the first part of your question. For starters, right when I moved in they made me take out my lip ring and change the way I dress. Church every Sunday and Wednesday, you don't miss it for the world. They believe crazy things like you shouldn't let a homosexual watch your kids because if someone is immoral enough to have sex with their same gender, obviously they would rape your children. It is idolatry to hang posters of celebrities in your house. Not allowed to stay at a friend's house if their mom or dad is living with their SO but not married to them. (Because if a man lives with a woman without marrying her, he will probably rape her children.) Crazy things like that. It got to the point where if I was driving around with my friends and saw someone from their church/family, I would duck. If I was at a restaurant with my friend, I was on guard all the time in case I saw one of them. I was only allowed to be at about three places. If they saw me somewhere else, I'd most likely be lectured and grounded.

Damn, that is crazy but don't generalize all of us like that! My parents are very conservative and catholic, and we are not like them at all.

I know that they're VERY different from the average conservative. They were just crazy people.

Thank you for not generalizing all Christians like that. You sound very intelligent and self-dependent. I wish you the best!

Thanks!

So pretty much you weren't allowed to be a teenager. My husband's parents were like there. Dominated by their church. Oh, watching the Simpsons is fine one day, then the next someone at their church said it's of the devil and so they were never to speak of it again.

Wow, that sounds equally crazy. I wonder how people like that can say they have faith, if their beliefs are changing day to day.

I could be a teenager if I lied about where I was, which I hated doing. I did do that sometimes, because I mean, how could I not? It was always a pain in the ass because whenever one of my friends would want to do something, I'd have to tell them I can't because (oh I forgot to mention, my house was 9 miles out of town) people weren't allowed over and I can't get a ride in. I had to turn down a lot of people, and I could never really hold a functioning relationship with anybody.

My aunt treated me like I wasn't even there. When she would be gone for the night, she would make me leave the house and she'd lock me out. I got a monthly 600 dollar check from the VA because my dad is a disabled veteran, and she would take almost the whole thing and give me $10 every two weeks. We had little to no communication. I probably could have made things work at my grandma's house if I really tried. I thought moving would give me a fresh start, but moving made me realize how much I needed my friends. I was really vulnerable at the time. I was in a school where I didn't know anybody, in a tiny little town in Texas, missing my hometown and friends.

Having my dad been in prison since I was 6, facing 20 years, having my mom a druggie and forcing me to move out and live with my grandparents, and being 16: I wish you the best, mate. :/

I wish YOU the best. I'm sorry life hasn't been very kind to you either. I hope you're doing okay now that you're with your grandparents.

For someone who's had a lot happen in his young life, what keeps you going? What things are you looking forward to at this point?

Nothing, for a long time. I've contemplated killing myself a number of times. For a while, I didn't care about anything. I was so pissed off at everything and life didn't seem worth living. God, I was so pissed. But after a while, I just had to carry on. I realized I can't spend my whole life like that. I just had to toughen up and live. Things don't get better with time, I've just become familiar with my emotions. It's a part of me that I can't do anything to change. So I accept them now. Last month I came to Texas, and the change of scenery was so good for me. Now I'm just looking forward to what's to come, whatever it is. I'm open to everything and I'm just excited to see what my life will bring me :)

Things don't get better with time, I've just become familiar with my emotions.

As someone who has dealt with depression - THIS. Well said.

Thanks. It's so true to me. As long as you can find a way to deal with how you feel, the emotions become second nature.

If even the promise of the next day is what keeps you going, good on you. It's better than whatever the alternative might be. Stay strong, buddy.

Yeah, I agree. And thank you. There's not much a person can do but keep going.

Your stubborn positivism is inspiring.

Haha thanks :)

Last month you came to Texas? I live in Houston, so welcome to the fire we call July and August. lol

Hahaha thanks man. Im not used to this in Michigan. The other day I was going somewhere, and it was so hot outside but I was like, "you know what fuck this, I do what I want! I'm wearing jeans and a sweater!!!"

Wasn't the best decision I've ever made..

Welcome to Texas!! I'm glad you've managed to stay so positive. Keep your head up!

Thanks! I'm trying my best!

Where in Texas are you at? I don't have much to offer but my company and a home-cooked meal, but if you have use for either?

I could use some friends here. Wanna PM me and prove you're not a rapist? Haha

What do you plan to do once you turn 18? What do you want to pursue?

I plan to go to UT for psychology. After my dad got arrested, (I was in 5th grade) I had to go to therapy. My therapist was really cold, and joked around about my situation. I think if I would have had good counseling throughout that period, I would have been able to cope much better. So, I want to be a child psychologist because I know how vital it is to have someone guide you through a hard time. I want to be there for kids so they don't have to go through the same thing I did.

I am a Criminal Justice Major and I want to suggest you looking into becoming a Child Advocate. I think you could help kids that are going through the same thing as you very well. It's a mix of child psychologist and child services, but more importantly you just become the child's friend through the whole court system and make sure they are comfortable and they aren't being forced to do/say anything they don't want to.

Awesome, I'm definitely going to look into that. Thank you.

You're going to do great, son.

Actually, I'm a lady. Hahhaha but thank you!

I wanted to have a Captain America moment with the son... Alas! But I really do admire you, so there!

Oh crap, I'm sorry I ruined your moment, man. Haha

I, too, am a lady hahahaha. /high five

Anyway, for the purposes of this AMA: What did your mom rob? I have an uncle with gambling problem as well, and he basically wittled away all of my grandparents' savings and killed my grandfather from depression before they were able to throw him out the country for some time. Vices really make people who have them in the extreme act illogically.

She robbed two banks. Got away with the first one. But it's true, an addiction can cover up something so beautiful and make people forget who they really are. I'm truly sorry that you had to deal with all of that. Gambling can cripple an entire family.

I see, I see. It's good that you don't hate her for it.

If you need someone to talk to, just drop me a PM or something? +8GMT timezone, though, but I am always willing to spend time talking to someone on the Internet.

Awesome, well we shall keep in touch!

Just so you know, psychology has one of the lowest rates for getting a job in your field after graduation. If you are serious, expect grad school, and interning, and all kinds of certification to get a job. you'll probably be in school mode at least 10 years. reference: my wife is a psychologist.

I know, that's what I'm kind of freaking out about. But I feel like its my calling.

I just wanna wish you luck and most importantly hope that you find a comfortable home. You are OK with your sisters, now? I read through and just wanna offer what little I can, which is music, because I strongly believe music helps heal the soul. Based on your tastes:

Check out Eyes Set to Kill (One of my favorites of theirs). Great band I just discovered. Awesome blend of male and female vocals (Lacuna Coil made me mention this; mainly the female vocals). They remind me of From Autumn to Ashes, if you're familiar. If not, I give you one of the most beautiful songs ever.

Be strong, dear.

I LOVE Eyes Set To Kill. Their music is beautiful. I will check out Autumn to Ashes, thank you for introducing me! Music has gotten me through everything. It really is the bed medicine.

And yeah, everything is going really well with my sisters. I'm more independent and I don't have to hide who I am here. Also I have the most beautiful nephews a girl could ask for. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. That's why I wanted to do this AMA. I'm in a good sate of mind now and was hoping my story could inspire or help someone that needed it.

Yeah, if you like ESTK, definitely check out that second link I posted. I have no idea why it's a different color than the other one. It's hardly even readable lol

I'm a 30 year old man and it's inspirational enough, to even me. I'm glad you dug yourself out of the darkness and found some light. I hope for you the light is perpetual. You deserve it.

Thank you. I think I deserve it too, after all the shit. The second link says it isn't available on mobile, so I'll find it when I get home. I love finding new music >:)

Oh, yeah it does say that. Lame. Let me know what you think!

That song was amazing.

I made an account just to comment on this! haha So I'm sorry if I suck. But, my father was very abusive towards my mother and when I was 15, he killed her and then killed himself. I just wanted to ask if you ever heard of the Victims of Crime Compensation Fund. My lawyer (during the whole custody stuff) told me about it and had me sign up for it. To be honest, I did not know about this until my 18th birthday when I got a letter in the mail (Lots of things went by so fast and were a blur after my parents died). I was so happy and thankful, I could pay for college without too many struggles! I hope you can possibly look into it. Good luck and take care!

No, I haven't heard of that! Thanks for taking the time to tell me! I'm definitely going to look into that, thank you so much. :)

I see that you mentioned Paramore as one of your favorite bands. Have a listen to 'Future' off their new album, I think you'll be able to connect with the song. Keep your head up, good things will come your way!

Thanks! I'll check it out. I've only listened to their new album once. It's not that I don't like it, I'm just still coming to terms with all the changes they've made recently.

I must say, This really puts things into perspective for me. Sometimes I forget how dumb and insignificant some of my complaints about life and my parents are. Kudos to you, for growing and making the most out of your situation.

Dude, if you ever consider going to TAMU or find yourself in CStat I owe you lunch or something.

Haha thanks! It's easy to get carried away in life. Problems are different for everyone. You have a different scale than I do. Just because someone has worse problems, doesn't mean yours are nothing. It's easier to step back and just breathe though. Don't let little things take over your life.

Does it bother you that wall street bankers who steal/stole billions of dollars and are bailed out by congress with taxpayer dollars are free- with respect to your Mother's situation?

I think that's something that should bother anybody regardless. It really does make me mad though, because I hate to imagine my mom eating small portions of terrible food and sleeping in an uncomfortable bed, while tax money that could go to prisons (or anything it's supposed to go to, for that matter) is being spent on bailing out people who deserve to be punished just as much, or more, than my mother does.

As someone who also lost two parents (father passed away, mother left) at your age, I'm very excited for your future :) I think that those of us who come from rough beginnings really get to appreciate all of the great things in life that we do get to experience.

Also, I can't wait until your kids try to complain about something trivial in the future. You definitely trump the ol' "When I was YOUR age, I had to walk to school uphill both ways!"

I know it sounds cliché, but you really can't know happiness until you know darkness.

And I want to go to UT for psychology.

Hopefully I never have kids, but if I do, I can not wait to tell them to suck it up. They better not be ungrateful or we're gonna have a bad time. Haha

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Strong words, comrade. It's completely true. That's what I'm living by now as well. I'm glad that you're doing good now, life really can throw some interesting curveballs.

What are you doing with your life now?

I'm living in Austin, working at the mall. I'm starting my senior year in the fall and after that I plan to go to University of Texas.

First of all you're a real commendable guy. Feel free not to answer this question, but do you know what highschool you're going to.

Not quite sure yet, somewhere in Austin. And thank you. :) P.S. I'm a girl. Do I talk like a dude? Hahahah

I'm in Austin too! I highly doubt we will ever run into each other but oh well!

I'm really sorry you're going through, you deserve so much better.

Thanks! And go Austin! I love this place. And maybe we already have ran into each other. Haha we may never know.

Whenever you find yourself having to tell others that you don't live with your parents/that they're in prison, are you open about it or ashamed? Do people treat you differently?

I'm not ashamed of it, but I tend to not be very open about it either. Not because I feel bad telling people, but because I don't feel like telling the same story over and over. Usually when I meet new people and they ask who I live with, I will tell them, but they don't ask a lot of questions about it unless they're closer to me, in which case I'm very open about everything. I'm not ashamed of it because it's been a part of me for so long. If someone wants to judge me about it, it doesn't phase me. But no, I don't recall anybody treating me differently. Everyone was very supportive of it all, and I never got any shit for it when I was little. I'm sure people talked behind my back about it at times, but people were never nicer/meaner to me directly because of my situation.

You Should listen to breaking Benjamin. Pretty good musics.

Love em.

We are now best friends. No choice.

That's what I was thinking.

What kind of gambling did your mom get into? Was she into anyone for money?

Yeah, actually. She had a boyfriend from the time I was 4 to when she got arrested. They really did love each other, and she still says he was the love of her life. But again, gambling was her first priority. I remember her stealing his money/writing checks in his name. Also she met a man at the casino one time and he was talking her up and telling her how much money he has. She ended up seeing him for a while, and he was giving her money. Then he raped her. It was a big mess because when she tried to press charges, he said she was taking his money although he was giving it to her. He was pissed because she didn't want to sleep with him.

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When my dad got arrested, my mom kept me strong. I was still so young so I couldn't really comprehend everything that was going on. She comforted me through the whole thing, and I cried all the time. But eventually it became a part of me, and I coped by releasing all of my thoughts and fears on my mom. When she was taken away, nothing kept me strong. I wasn't strong. I was completely broken for years. I had nothing and I was pissed. But like you said, it came with time. Life moved on, even though I had that pain in the front of my head. It's like having a loved one die. You never forget the pain, but you learn to live with it and accept it. And thank you for the prayers, I could use them.

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You're welcome. I just hope I've helped some people throughout this. And yep, there's always a way to be happy no matter what's happened. You just have to find it. Things take time.

Hey man great AMA, just wanted to say hi from a fellow Yooper :)

Whoooo!!! That's so cool! What part do you live in? I've never met a redditor from the UP!

Are you going to welcome your parents with open arms when they get out?

I'm going to welcome my mom with open arms. I will help her with anything she needs. I'm not sure about my father. I'd like to say that I will, but it's so far in the future so I'm not sure how I will feel when the time comes around.

Helping your mom out is important but please understand that her gambling problem may not be cleared up due to being locked up. As a former corrections officer, gambling is second nature in prison. Food is currency in prison so more than likely your mom is probably still gambling. Not trying to be debbie downer but just be weary that her gambling problem may still be very real once she's released.

I've talked to her about all of that. She thinks all of the commissary=status stuff is bullshit. She's taken a lot of classes to help her and isn't participating in any of that stuff. She's always writing me letters about how she can't stand how shallow all of the people around her are. She's above that now. Although she still tries to talk about blackjack and stuff, and tries to tell me that she just likes playing, and not for money or anything. I tell her that its still a form of gambling and she needs to steer clear of anything that even reminds her of it. She agrees with me. I think deep inside her mind still wants it but she knows better.

Thanks for the reply. I feel like I would do the same, your mom had her reasons, but the mind your father possesses would probably be too much for me to handle.

I'm starting to think he's a complete sociopath. He's been trying to better his life but he is still very controlling and thinks he is right about everything. To this day, he will say he's innocent despite the abundance of evidence against him. He's also convinced his mother and a lot of his friends of his "innocence."

That's a absolutely nuts. Either way, I hope you make your peace with both of your parents after them not being there for you.

Thank you. I hope I can come to terms with my dad someday. It's extremely awkward to talk about with him so I'm not sure we will ever fully understand each other. But honestly, thank you for the support :)

Where did all this take place? I found one guy who got 33 years in Australia and another in California.

We're from Upper Michigan. The first place he went to Prison was in Indiana. Now he's in Virginia.

What's the story behind your username?

One time I was at my friend Vanessa's house, and we were reaaaaally hungry, so we decided to make a pizza. and I was all, "AHHHHH I'm starving, I wish the pizza was done right now, damnit." And she pulled back her eyes with her fingers and said, in the craziest Chinese accent, "YOU WAIT FOR FOOD!" Here's a picture of the exact moment. (I hope this link works, I've never used this site before.) http://i.cubeupload.com/62EBLq.jpg

I guess it's not really that funny, you just had to be there. But now it's a phrase we say all the time.

That actually does sound pretty funny.

It was hilarious! I wish I had a recording of how she said it

How old are your siblings? Do you have any plans for college? I'm so sorry you had to go through that but you seem like a very strong and independent person.

They're 23 and 25.

Do you ever imagine how it would be having a "normal" life with both your parents at home and all that?

ps. Since you like music, here a beautiful song and band! :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7FauV3MIUU

I looove them :)

And yes I think about it all the time. But then I think, if they had never gone to prison, my mom's life would still be spiraling out of control, and my dad would still be hurting little girls. So it wouldn't have been a normal life regardless. It's selfish to wish they were out of prison. Even though it's hard to grasp, it's better that they got caught.

How has your own life turned out so far? I realize you are young, but do you go to school/have any plans for the future? Also, I wish you all the best.

I've talked about my plans for the future somewhere else in this thread, but I plan to go to UT for psychology. My life has been not so good until recently, when I moved back to Texas with my sisters. I'm no longer repressed by the people I was staying with, and I'm actually looking forward to living.

What do you do like to do for fun?

Offtopic: I'm rooting for you to stay out of trouble and hoping you get exactly what you deserve in life, good luck!

Now that I'm in Austin, I love to go downtown and just see all of the diversity and all of the cool places to go. This city is limitless.

And thank you. :)

It seems like you got dealt a pretty shitty hand of a life. Is there anyone you can talk to (not your family) to help you learn what normal is? You need a psychologist or something similar. Not trying to be preachy, but find someone stable to help you out. Good luck.

Thanks. Right now I'm doing pretty good, I think. It would be nice to have a psychologist but right now I just can't afford it. Hopefully I'll meet some people here and they can help me out by just being my friend.

Whenever I see "get some therapy" advice...

I always wonder "but wait, don't you have to be able to afford that?"

Thanks for confirming.

I'll be your long distance friend :)

Yes exactly! That shit is expensive. Cool, I could really use one :)

What kind of music do you like?

Coheed and Cambria is by far my favorite band, but I like a lot of everything. Death Cab, Pierce the Veil, Chiodos, Gorillaz, Brand New, Sublime, Paramore, Regina Spektor, Circa Survive, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Ratatat, Mayday Parade, Green Day, Explosions in the Sky, Cocorosie, Passion Pit, Two Door Cinema Club, Lacuna Coil...to name a few hahah

Circa. Yes. Anyways, What's been the hardest part for you? And are you living self sufficiently? Either way that's incredibly difficult and I applaud you for being a badass

The hardest part has probably been having to deal with my abundance of basassery. Lol no for real, I think the hardest part is thinking about what my life could have been if my parents never went to prison. I think about how much easier everything would be, and how much happier my entire family would be. I would still be in my hometown, watching romances with my mom and crying for days after the movie, eating way too much chocolate together, and sitting in the car and real talking for hours. But then I think, if they didn't get caught doing what they were doing, my dad would continue to ruin little girls' lives, and my mom would continue her downward spiral and end up succeeding in one of her suicide attempts. It's hard to come to the realization that them being in prison is for the best, despite my own wants and needs. Right now I'm living more self sufficiently than I ever have been, but I'm not paying all of my own bills. I do have a job and I'm doing a lot of things for myself, but my sisters are helping a lot.

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Yes, totally. Me and my sister were quite frequently finding her suicide notes. One time, she overdosed while I was in the car with her, driving home. I was telling her about a dream I had when she pulled over and tried to make herself puke. She realized she didn't want to die and drove us to the hospital, almost killing us because she was way too drugged up to even be walking, really. I know my mom would be either dead right now, or still completely taken over by her addiction. She got better in prison, so it was definitely the best thing for. Same goes for my dad.

That's incredibly selfless of you to say. Seriously that made my night. If you ever need help with anything don't hesitate to ask!

Well me making your night made my night :-)

Thank you

You just listed most of my playlist! Haha

Then we can be friends.

Have you checked out Go Radio? Jason Lancaster started it (singer from mayday) and he is fantastic.

Yeah, totally. I don't think that Jason Lancaster or Mayday Parade can reach their full potential without each other, though. Jason has a beautiful voice and writes wonderful lyrics, but Mayday has a better sound. I wish they were still together. :(

What are some ways that you deal with it? I have trouble being away from my parents for a week or 2. (I go to boarding school away from them.) I'm just wondering because you must be an incredibly strong person!

I just keep myself busy with other things. When you're reading a good book, the world is almost invisible. Getting carried away in music and drawing. Whatever your interests are. Just dive into them. Not only will it take your mind off of missing your parents, but it will make you a more well-rounded person.

I'm not sure if I'm too late to this one...
Is anyone prejudiced against you because of your parents being in prison? Have you ever experienced and discrimination or hat because of it?

One time, after my mom got arrested, I was in a gas station buying candy or something of the sort, and two ladies in front of me at the check out were talking about my mom. Her personal life and stuff. Needless to say, they were completely wrong. But they were talking for a while and I just stood there listening to what they had to say. They started looking at me too, and talking to me about it as if I was interested. Then I said something really badass (can't remember it now) but it was something telling them that that's my mother and they need to shut the fuck up. The look on their faces was priceless. Then I made my grand exit. It was awesome.

All I have to say is GO PACKERS!

My first football game was Packers vs. Cowboys and the Cowboys kicked their ass! So HA! :)

Well I'm sorry if you're still a Cowboys fan...

Oh, please. Haha

Is weird that I was able to predict that your where probably a girl before reading the post?

Yes! Good job!

Do you harbor any resentment for your parents? Do you feel betrayed and abandoned at all?

At first, yes. I still feel very betrayed. Especially since my mom saw me go through such a hard time when my dad got arrested. I can't believe she would risk putting me through the same thing again. I'll always have that anger towards the situation, but I've resolve most of my resentment towards my mom. I will never completely forgive my father.

Did you pass your drivers exam?

Didn't take it yet. The people I was living with wouldn't let me get my license.

Hello there, thanks for doing this AMA. q1) Has the experience steered you in a direction where you want to do something about your life and others that constitutes a breakthrough? For example, helping to rehabilitate young people when you have gone far enough in life.

q2) I really really wish you all the best in life (college, work, finding a new home etc). I read that you've said that you've moved a lot (so you probably made few lasting friendships), if you don't mind, do you want to be my email/pen pal? I live on an island in South East Asia.

Q2: I had to answer this one first because its exciting! Yes of course I want to be your pen pal!! Q1: I plan to have a career in helping young kids after they've gone through a situation similar to mine. When my dad got taken away, I had a terrible psychologist. I want to be there for kids like me who really need it.

Wish you the best and I am sorry

Thank you

Your story is really inspiring. My parents divorced last year and my life is been pretty shit since that,everything that could go wrong is going wrong. But seeing your story and how you faced all those problems are really inspiring. I wish you the best of luck and I'm sure that you are going to be a succesful psychologist.

Thank you. If you ever need any advice or just someone to talk to, I'm here. Just because there are bigger problems in the world, doesn't mean yours are any less significant. Good luck with everything.

Do "thug life" jokes get old?

Yeah. Also a lot of people tell me it's so badass that my mom robbed a bank. It's not like a movie. This is real life. It is not badass that my mom is in prison and my life went to shit because of it.