youwaitforfood

My dad got 33 years for making and distributing child pornography and sleeping with my babysitter. My mom got 12 years for armed robbery.

I've visited my dad once. He's in Virginia so I'm not able to visit much. I'm not sure I would want to even if he was right next door. I visit my mom more often. I love my mom with everything I have. She had a serious gambling problem, and it lead to her demise. But everyone that knew her would say she is the sweetest, kindest, most good-hearted person. Nobody expected that out of her. She was desperate, and she went too far. Me and her still have a great relationship, although I'm pissed that I have to pay for all of her mistakes. I love her unconditionally. With my dad, it's a little different story. When he was out, he was a GREAT father to me. Everyone thought he was super dad. Was always taking me camping, playing basketball with me, playing with my dolls with me. So then he gets arrested for all of these terrible things, and I have to question everything he was. Was it all fake? I'm not sure. Was he using me as bate so he could get my friends to come over? Yes. Did he love me? I think so. I'm hesitant to answer his calls, I'm bitter to him, I can't forgive him. But at the same time he's my dad and I love him, so I can't just leave him high and dry. He isn't getting out until he is in his 80's, so I guess I don't really have to worry about having a real relationship with him when/if he gets out. :/

I plan to go to UT for psychology. After my dad got arrested, (I was in 5th grade) I had to go to therapy. My therapist was really cold, and joked around about my situation. I think if I would have had good counseling throughout that period, I would have been able to cope much better. So, I want to be a child psychologist because I know how vital it is to have someone guide you through a hard time. I want to be there for kids so they don't have to go through the same thing I did.

14-15

Nothing, for a long time. I've contemplated killing myself a number of times. For a while, I didn't care about anything. I was so pissed off at everything and life didn't seem worth living. God, I was so pissed. But after a while, I just had to carry on. I realized I can't spend my whole life like that. I just had to toughen up and live. Things don't get better with time, I've just become familiar with my emotions. It's a part of me that I can't do anything to change. So I accept them now. Last month I came to Texas, and the change of scenery was so good for me. Now I'm just looking forward to what's to come, whatever it is. I'm open to everything and I'm just excited to see what my life will bring me :)