Yep, I work at a bar where anywhere from 400-1600 people from ghettoville go at any given night. Im actually at work now. Heres some proof, and I'm just crossing my arm to hide the logo, not to show that I lift. .I'm in Grambling, Louisiana. Look that up for some proof of a bad neighborhood. Ask me some questions if you've got em.

Edit: Sorry about the delay. I was at work last night and didn't get to go to bed until 5 this morning. I'll answer all questions now.

Comments: 233 • Responses: 48  • Date: 

jesusatmcdonalds161 karma

How many times have you had to pick up a bitch's weave?

TheRealSweetLou67 karma

8 or so. They're like dead raccoons. One I had to pick up the other night had blood on it. It was intense.

PichinchaV53 karma

How does being tazed compare with being stabbed? Which was more painful?

TheRealSweetLou107 karma

Stabbing hurt a lot more. Mostly because I took a the knee. I had to have stitches and almost surgery because of the stabbing. Thank goodness that dude was drunk or else it may have been worse. Tazing hurt for about 10 minutes but there was no after effect. Immediate pain goes to the tazer. Long run pain goes to stabbing.

cyborgtoday51 karma

Dude, girls love you and the men..well the men are drunk.

I have a few questions, if you can spare the time. 1. Have you ever refused anyone just because they gave a bad vibe.. 2. What happens if things "kick off" (I mean if you get a person saying there fighting in there". 3. Any perks? 4. I use to buy doormen drinks all night because I thought if they were happy, they would look after me..was I just young?

Thanks for a great AMA.

TheRealSweetLou108 karma

  1. Yes. Every night. There's always that one dude who is too sketchy to get in. We just tell him no or that the cover is stupid high. He doesn't argue because we're a lot bigger. 2. If somebody says they're going to fight me I wait for them to throw the first punch, by law I have to. Then I fuck with them and yell "You fucked up now Wheat Thins! I'm about to push your shit in!" They try to figure out what that means as I hit them and/or drag them out of the bar. And my fellow bouncers usually come to my aid quickly. 3. Women/liquor/tips. And if I let some waiters I know in for free, they'll usually give me a free meal at their restaurant. 4. We always help the guys who help us. You scratch our backs, and we'll make sure you don't get killed. Thanks dude!

stealmyrecords107 karma

"You fucked up now, Wheat Thins!"

Amazing. I'm not a huge bouncer dude but I'm gonna use this somehow anyway.

TheRealSweetLou78 karma

We always throw in food to mess with people "Hey Lucky Charms! You and ya boy Cool Whip are outta here!"

Confuzn51 karma

Dude. I go to the University of Houston. I've seen a game with the folks from Grambling. You've got balls. Kudos to you.

TheRealSweetLou47 karma

Yeah buddy, I've got some fraternity brothers in Houston, so I know how y'all do to. I appreciate it.

iamschaft35 karma

Do you have any type of training? Forms of martial arts or other fighting methods, weapon training, etc?

TheRealSweetLou78 karma

I'm an ex D1 offensive lineman and National Champion powerlifter. Other than recreational boxing, I'm just a big guy. So no, all I do is lift.

iupvoteshit839232 karma

How much did you lift?

TheRealSweetLou103 karma

Squatted 680, benched 487, dead lifted 724. It was in kilos, so that's why its weird numbers.

funny_fails17 karma

Initially I read that as you benched 487 kilos, then I realized it was unlikely you were up there with the world record holder, and that's only with a bench shirt.

TheRealSweetLou29 karma

I'm an ex-national champion with my bench press, and yes with a bench shirt. But no, by no means am I a contestant for World's. Those Lithuanian bastards are strong.

Release_the_KRAKEN6 karma

What's a bench shirt?

TheRealSweetLou12 karma

A shirt that powerlifters wear that forces their arms forward as to bench press more weight.

fakkuman33 karma

What are some of the good experiences you've had there?

TheRealSweetLou84 karma

I get piss drunk after everyone leaves and I call a girl who's number I got that night and go spank one out. For some reason drunk girls like to flirt with me while I'm working. Its easy after that. Also one night some dude came in who was an orthopedic surgeon and tipped me $300 for no reason. He was fucked up. Its good nights like that that make it worth it.

jabobadilla32 karma

Grossest story you got.

TheRealSweetLou92 karma

Dude came in went to the middle of the dancefloor shit on the ground and kicked it all over people. Then threw up on my buddy as we were kicking him out. What an asshole

riffplayer967831 karma

Do you think there's a limit to how long you can pursue this career realistically?

TheRealSweetLou89 karma

Well yeah. I've been accepted to LSU law school. I'm not bouncing for forever. I'm

coveritwithgas-3 karma

Lawyers aren't finding jobs these days. There are a lot who wish they had something short-term and semi-decent like bouncing. Just a thought.

TheRealSweetLou27 karma

Already got a job lined up boss. $220,000 a year to start off.

Meatmehalfway28 karma

You ever see upper class white people start fights with people they shouldn't be messing with because they got too drunk?

TheRealSweetLou48 karma

Once a long time ago. Some lady from D.C. came in acting all uppity around us "Stupid, inbred, rednecks" and tried to fight me. I didn't know how to act around a girl causing trouble, so I kind of hugged her real tight and threw her out. She said she was gonna sue me and stuff but she was a bitch. Don't come from the north expecting us to take shit about where we're from.


Do people ever dress up as Naruto as a way of getting into the bar?

TheRealSweetLou55 karma

I would honestly let them in for free if they did

Meatmehalfway25 karma

If you weren't a bouncer there, would you go there for fun?

TheRealSweetLou110 karma

I have before. Last time though I had to shit and there was sex going on in every stall so I had to go out back and shit in the woods drunker than a one-eyed catfish swimming backwards in a bird bath. It was hard. It all depends on how drunk I am I would say.

fred222223 karma

Do bouncers like yourself like or dislike people who help you out?

I ask because, I was once denied entry to a club once before, because the previous week, me and a mate helped out a bouncer restrain a bloke who was uber violent, and the bouncer was struggling (we were outside waiting for a mate to come out to give them a lift, neither of us had been drinking) The bouncer thanked us for the help after the cops got there.

But a week later, both me and my mate were both denied due to 'violent behavior' by the same bouncer that we helped out the week before hand

TheRealSweetLou31 karma

He was probably just butt hurt. I would like the help if I'm about to get my ass whooped. Im not looking to get killed in a bar by some alcoholic.

King_Renegade22 karma

What is your craziest story from your job?

TheRealSweetLou72 karma

About 2000 people tried to get in one night at once and they broke the door off the hinges. I had to act as a human door. The cops came and one tried to taze the guy next to me but hit me instead. It fucking hurt. I saw over a dozen people get arrested and maced. I stopped a 9 girl fight at one point. I got tipped out $100 that night. I almost quit because of it.

jbaird20 karma

When you said 'maced' I thought someone had hit you with a mace. Wow, that must be a bad neighborhood!

TheRealSweetLou36 karma

That would blow my mind. If some dude whipped out a mace, they win. I lose.

vampyweeks16 karma

What's ur take on Duck Dynasty, Breaking Amish, and Honey Boo Boo. Thank u 4 ur time kind sir.

TheRealSweetLou50 karma

I live 20 minutes away from the Duck Dynasty guys. They all have Ph.D's in engineering from LA Tech except for Si. They're millionaires, really smart, and very nice guys. I like Duck Dynasty. Breaking Amish is stupid and I hope no one watches it. I've seen one Amish village in Arkansas, and they were okay guys. I'm dating a pageant girl, so I have mixed feelings about that show. I think that making those girls go through that shit is awful, and Honey Boo Boo is the worst portrayal of any of us.

vampyweeks3 karma

U have a gf? I thought u were out gettin em bitches numbers.

TheRealSweetLou47 karma

It started 2 days ago. Before though, bitches. Bitches everywhere.

PounderMcNasty13 karma

Is Swamp People a pretty accurate portrayal of life in the South?

TheRealSweetLou44 karma

Depends. I know people like that, and I also know CEO's who make a bunch of money. We're very diverse. I love hunting and fishing, and I also wear polo, sperrys, and a Rolex and I made a 32 on the ACT. And Troy from swamp people s a millionaire. He owns thousands of acres of crawfish farms. We're not stupid by any means, there's just some weirdos.

Barseps12 karma

I always ask the first thing that pops into my head. Do you tend to have more trouble from men or women?

TheRealSweetLou29 karma

Women. Women are dirty fighters and think they can get away with it because of their tits.

mcbranch10 karma

How many times have you seen Roadhouse?

TheRealSweetLou52 karma

I beat off to it every night

Meatmehalfway10 karma

I think he would love to respond to your questions but is currently suffering form one of the above actions.

TheRealSweetLou7 karma

Yeah its getting a bit hectic. I'm doing what I can though. Thank you smoke breaks.

frattrick9 karma

What's the policy on fake id's? It seems to me like bouncers know when they're fake and just choose to let kids in if they do? Does it vary by bar/bouncer?

TheRealSweetLou8 karma

Depends on the I.d. I had a fake I.D. that black lighted and scanned and I never got caught. Most people just use other peoples I.D.'s though. I don't play that game.

UltraFeeder7 karma

What are some of your values that you live by? Like what kind of words keep you going?

TheRealSweetLou41 karma

Pussy Money Weed

alien_beach7 karma

was always interested in how was the life in such places... Can you even go out at night? Do you think places like Detroit and other crime meccas (like your place) are doomed or there's hope? I'm in Europe , central , nothing really ever happens here!

TheRealSweetLou23 karma

I go other places to go out at night. There's a town adjacent to Grambling, that's where I go party. They're gonna flourish longer than other places because everyone knows how to deal with the worst, I.e. living in a crappy town. These people are tough and know how to survive. Come to Grambling, get drunk, buy some heroin, find a prostitute that'll work for some Churches chicken and you'll understand the lifestyle.

lsmedm7 karma

What's the best way to get a job as a bouncer? I'm a big guy (6'6" 260lbs) and need a job

TheRealSweetLou4 karma

Apply. Get to know the bouncers in a bar on a friendly level then ask if they're hiring.

thebeastfromCanada3 karma

So basically anyone under 6' that lifts is out of the picture? Just curious.

TheRealSweetLou6 karma

Nah I work with guy whos 5'6 and he's a bad mother fucker. Just prove you can be a bad mother fucker. He lifts though, a lot.

silence15457 karma

What drink do you think makes people act the worst?

a_little_drunk20 karma


TheRealSweetLou13 karma

Beat me to it

Big_Ryan7 karma

Why don't you get a new job?

TheRealSweetLou26 karma

Its the perks that keep me here. Free liquor after hours, I get girls numbers, I get paid very well, and I enjoy doing it. And bitches love scars.

iamtylerdurdenman3 karma

I am confused. You keep mentioning random girls, and then switch to girlfriend, and then back to random drunk bitches.

MadeInWestGermany6 karma

"It started 2 days ago" So i guess gf thing is pretty fresh

TheRealSweetLou6 karma

Indeed. 3 days ago now.

ajenkala6 karma

Other then the stabbing and tazer. What's the worst that's happened to you? KO?

You should get a GoPro and go mall cop on everyone.

Do you have any weapons or aid on your side?

TheRealSweetLou7 karma

I broke my wrist 2 months ago hitting a guy. I can usually dodge the hits that are coming by drunk people, and the ones that land I can shake off because of the adrenaline. My wrist HURT.

I've contemplated it before.

I carry a knife and two big ole arms.

Delzak4215 karma

Do you ever skip leg day?

TheRealSweetLou13 karma

Nope. My real friends dont let me.

Delzak4215 karma

Good friends. From what you are saying I feel like you work near where I live. I'm visiting all the bars in all the bad neighborhoods near me until I find you. If someone comes up to you and asks "Why don't you skip leg day?" You'll know it's me.

TheRealSweetLou8 karma

Look for the devilishly handsome and enormous bouncer by the name of Sweet Lou. And when you ask I will respond with "It was as the prophecy foretold"

MoneyIsTiming5 karma

How do you deal when there are more assailants than the immediate security team? Can you go into "fuck shit up" mode and start knocking dudes out in self defense?

TheRealSweetLou25 karma

Usually when I hit one or two guys the others back down. And I'm always in a fuck shit up mode. ALWAYS.

123l974 karma

Ever get hit on by a guy?

TheRealSweetLou32 karma

Yep. A couple of times. It's weird and I politely tell them that I am a straight male who loves TO SLANG UP IN DAt POOSY! But I appreciate the compliment sir.

BettyBlue893 karma

What is the best story someone has told you in an attempt to get in?

TheRealSweetLou22 karma

That he lost his job, his wife, and his house all that day and that he couldn't afford to get in. I asked him then why was he wearing ralph lauren and how was he going to afford drinks? He promptly left.

AwkwardestPenguin3 karma

What kind of qualifications did you need to become a bouncer?

Did you take any kind of self-defense training? Did you get any training from your bar? Or are you just a tough mofo

TheRealSweetLou34 karma

Under the qualifications section of the application I wrote: "I'm really big and I'm an ex powerlifting champion. I'm Alpha" Under the activities section I put: "Wrestling bears and moving big rocks from here to there." My boss is a redditor and thought it was funny.

AwkwardestPenguin3 karma

Damn, that seems painful.

How much do you make? Do you make more then Bouncers in a good neighborhood, as I'd imagine your job is more difficult.

TheRealSweetLou8 karma

It depends on the night. I usually pop out with about $80-$120 a night when I work. There are no bars in a good neighborhood. Bars are what make them bad neighborhoods.

antoniusmagnus2 karma

Hey, have you ever thought you might want to get a safer career, like librarian or accountant?

TheRealSweetLou2 karma

Yep. But I like the action of the bar. It makes my life interesting and I get to meet a lot of people. Plus, I'm a big dude. I might as well use what I've got.

quezi2 karma

Has anyone bigger ever started a fight with you and got the better of you?

TheRealSweetLou12 karma

Well I'm 6'5 240. There aren't too many bigger dudes. But when there are we usually end up broing out. Its the small scrappy ones you've gotta look out for.

SyntaxJO1 karma

Good idea to do this AMA!

What are the top 3 things one can do to get in ahead of the line?

TheRealSweetLou4 karma

You can't really unless you know the bouncers. If somebody were to pay me $20 a person to get in or so when its $5 cover, I'd scoot them to the front real fast.

[deleted]1 karma


TheRealSweetLou2 karma

Yep, all the time. That's probably the thing that bothers me the most about my job. But we also have cops on duty at the bar, so I feel a bit safer.

BettyBlue891 karma

Are you allowed to attack first if you think something is going to kick off or do you have to wait until someone else throws the first punch?

TheRealSweetLou3 karma

They don't have to throw the first punch, but they do have to make an attempt at harm before I can hit them. A push is an attempt at harm. If they push me, I'm gonna hit them. If something big is about to kick off, I usually just get in the middle of it and break it up before it starts.

bikesfordykes1 karma

I know Grambling is nearly 100% black. Is the night club you work at interracial or solely black?

TheRealSweetLou2 karma

80% black people at least. Some nights its more, maybe even 100%