Have questions? I have one of those Live Chat things on my website now and will respond to everyone. Need a quick sex toy recommendation? Start with my list of the best sex toys, then check out this guide for first-time sex toy buyers and finally please consider avoiding Amazon and Ebay for sex toy shopping.

I'm now one of the mods at r/sextoys. Please pop on over there if you've got questions on sex toys if you don't feel like emailing me!

. In the sex blog world, I go by the blogging name "Dangerous Lilly". I've been doing this blogging and reviewing sex toys thing for 5 years now. I've owned/tried hundreds of sex toys of various types and reviewed most of them. I'm an activist of sorts when it comes to sex toy material safety, because a lot of cheap sex toys can be toxic in some way. I'm also working for a non-profit called Dildology.org, given my penchant for lighting sex toys on fire to determine silicone purity. At Dildology, though, they're sending sex toys off to a lab to get scientific verification that the materials are what the manufacturer claims and that there are no toxic substances. Feel free to ask me any question about sex toys, sex toy testing, sex blogging, etc. Proof 1: A screen cap of me logged into my Twitter account Proof 2: A screen cap of me logged into the Wordpress dashboard of my sex blog. Not sure if someone like me needed to give proof, but there it is. (Links may or may not contain NSFW material given where you look and how conservative you are)

Comments: 544 • Responses: 80  • Date: 

Joebalo270 karma

Where did you major in dildology?

Edit: Did you also graduate Magna Cum Laude?

DangerousLilly127 karma

The school of Research and "Don't Feed Me Any Bullshit" ;) The willingness to dissect and destroy sex toys in the name of science is a necessary task to graduate.

ratmfreak85 karma

How can a sex toy be toxic?

DangerousLilly164 karma

Some sex toy materials, like those listed as "jelly" (the inexpensive kind that are clear and pretty, and soft) start out as a hard plastic and have chemicals added to soften it, just for starters.

They can leach out chemicals that can cause skin burns, they can contain phthalates that are banned in baby toys and dog toys because of the cancer-causing properties, some were shown to contain Cadmium, a toxic heavy metal.

ratmfreak65 karma

That sounds awful.

DangerousLilly106 karma

It is. And many people don't know unless they start doing research or, sadly, get a bad reaction to a sex toy. I've had women tell me that they AND their doctors at first thought they had an infection when it was in reality a chemical burn.

PounderMcNasty76 karma

Have you ever tried the gigantic fist dildo? Also, have you ever held a koala?

DangerousLilly83 karma

No, and no. Their claws look a bit frightening.

PounderMcNasty114 karma

I know. They're not even real bears though. They try to act all hard, but they're not.

DangerousLilly25 karma

Have YOU held one?

PounderMcNasty60 karma

HELL NO!! Are you crazy? Have you seen their demon eyes?!

MrDeeJayPayne18 karma

As an Aussie I've seen a koala lash out at a nature park while the keeper was holding it, sliced him up real good

DangerousLilly26 karma

wow. I mean, they're wild animals. so it's not entirely shocking. just that they can appear cute and cuddly. like I think raccoons are friggin adorable but I'd likely have a bad experience if I tried to hold one. Same as bobcats :)

BobertJaratheon68 karma

So what was your favorite item to review, ever?

DangerousLilly88 karma

That's oddly a very difficult question for me to answer. I've loved writing some reviews because it was an item that I found to be so heinous but others had only written glowing reviews about, like the Fixsation Couples Vibe. But then there are reviews I loved writing about because the item was seemingly so simple but yet so profoundly awesome that it has become my all-time favorite vibrator, like the We-Vibe Salsa / Tango.

JustSayYesToMe58 karma

Reddit hugged the website to hard.

DangerousLilly49 karma

It has :( I'm on the phone with my semi-useless host GoDaddy right now to fix it. It's not going well.

blazedd28 karma

If you are using Godaddy and you think their "unlimited" hosting is going to let you do anything when the going gets good then you are mistaken.

Their servers are slow, their prices are low, and your expectations better be low.

DangerousLilly20 karma

I was on economy plan, lol. Upgrade for a little bit to deluxe. I think I'm going to switch to HostGator in a few months when I can afford for the blog to be down for a couple days. I have 5 weeks of giveaways coming up shortly and can't afford downtime then.

iloveninjacats59 karma


DangerousLilly65 karma

One can become a "dildologist" by sharing the knowledge that not all sex toys are created equal, or with truth in advertising, and then performing home tests to see if you can tell if the manufacturer is telling the truth. The Flame Test is something that many Home Dildologists were doing for awhile, but it's not of course 100% accurate. Depending on how the material burns you can take a good educated guess as to the material. Pure silicone can smolder and the "burnt" will scorch or turn to pale grey ash. If an item is partially silicone, it has so far shown to melt (most medical grade silicones haven't melted for us when using a simple Bic lighter or match) but also produce some ash. If it lights on fire and burns like an old-fashioned oil torch, it's likely not got any silicone in it and is instead one of many types of rubber or softened plastics.

As for a sex toy that replicates oral sex? That's difficult. The Sqweel is touted as being an oral sex simulator, but users report mixed results.

shut_your_face29 karma

Always use lube with the Sqweel. Those little silicone tongues are draggy if you don't.

DangerousLilly24 karma


Admiral_Spanky14 karma

Is there a market for vintage or antique devices? Do you fill your shelves with prime dildo specimens from exotic corners of the world?

...Also, what is your opinion of toys that squirt fluid through them?

DangerousLilly18 karma

Some people collect them. There are museums run by sex toy retailers. They're neat :) Me, though? No. I don't collect. I ran out of space. Toys that squirt fluid...it's not personally my thing. I can see how it could be, though.

SleepingWithRyans37 karma

Have you tried the Real Touch, or met anyone who has? It's a pretty pricey sex toy, but the interactive aspect of it has me really curious.

DangerousLilly56 karma

We haven't, no, but one reviewer here said it was "as much fun as sticking your dick into a cheese grater". I'm going to say it's not worth the hype ;)

ChronicYonic23 karma

I work in a sex shop and we sell pretty much every toy you've mentioned on this thread! Thanks for all this info (especially about the 'P Spot'), as I find I can't always answer customer's questions on certain products. I think I will point them in the direction of your blog next time they ask me a question I can't answer!

DangerousLilly12 karma

We can't all know everything. I often refer to others, too :)

kjmac22 karma


DangerousLilly36 karma

I kind of hate "couples" sex toys, to be honest. I think that just about any sex toy can be used WITH your partner and incorporated into sex/foreplay. The "couples" sex toys currently are things like the We-Vibe (a c-shaped pliable vibrator that goes partly inside the vagina and partly up the vulva to stimulate the clit) which many report doesn't stay put during thrusting; or the vibrating cock ring which most are cheaply made or don't have very strong vibrations and work best in the woman-on-top position.

Anal toys can be used by anyone during foreplay and even intercourse. A vibrator can be used externally on the clitoris while the g-spot is manually stimulated by the partner, bringing a clitoral OR dual orgasm, which can then be followed by PIV sex if you're hetero. Dildos can be used in conjunction with oral sex. Vibrators and even male masturbators can be used on the penis as foreplay. The possibilities are frankly, endless.

kjmac12 karma


DangerousLilly14 karma

If you can get off with just fingers or tongues easily and without requiring pressure, then they can be fun. The Tiani 2 can be fun because you can use it as a public foreplay tool. But will it change your sex life? It might. But I wouldn't bet money on it.

Any that I prefer partnered? Nope. But as for any I prefer solo to partnered, I'd say my Njoy Pure Wand (or any extra-large and extra-long dildo) because it's easier for me to know exactly where to apply pressure, how deep to thrust, etc. My partner can't feel that he is ramming my cervix in a bad way.

BraveNeckBeard3 karma

Don't know if you'll be around much longer but I had a quick question about what you just said. You said your partner can't tell he's ramming you in the wrong way. I've been wanting to buy something for the wife to use in her, are there toys that are easier for men to use on woman, or is it all just how you go about it?

DangerousLilly3 karma

It's all about how you use it. Listen to her. And it's easier if you don't use a gigantic one, either :) The vagina is only so deep, you know. It can accommodate when aroused, but it can't fit an 11" dildo all at once.

Drudicta3 karma

I'll probably sound stupid for asking but, what is "PIV sex"?

DangerousLilly3 karma


ChrisHernandez20 karma

What is your view on penis size? Does size matter?

DangerousLilly50 karma

It matters. I would likely be very afraid to have sex with a penis that is longer than 8 inches and wider than 2". It would hurt. A lot. I have been with two men who were very small and that did matter to me in some regards, I wasn't ever able to achieve g-spot stimulation from that sex.

1017bricksquad00714 karma

What is very small?

DangerousLilly32 karma

3 inches in length.

PuffsPlusArmada19 karma

Are there any products that have come out recently that have just completely blown you away/rocked your world? I feel like making phallic shaped devices that vibrate is a science that can only advance but so far.

DangerousLilly24 karma

One item that is not recent, but has yet to be "bested" as my favorite g-spotting dildo ever is the Njoy Pure Wand. Not phallic, not vibrating.

As for "new and innovative", often times people are trying to be TOO innovative and the end result is not so great. For example, the G-Vibe, meant to stimulate both the g-spot and the perineal sponge. But it fails. The last item I reviewed that rocked my world is shaped more like a body massager, but what is special is the type of vibrations. Sadly, in order to be most useful as a sex toy, an attachment was needed, and that was phallic. But truly there are tons of external vibes that are shaped like anything you could imagine. A flower, a leaf, a heart, an egg, etc.

guywithacomment18 karma

So how exactly do you make this job seem so professional?

DangerousLilly46 karma

Because I take it seriously. I live in an area where there are no reputable sex toy retail stores. I think that sex, solo or partnered, could be benefited by sex toys for many people and I've helped a large number of people find a great toy. Masturbation, the use of sex toys, having kinky sex.....none of that is shameful (so long as it's legal) and yet we live in such a sex-negative society. Every body has the right to orgasms.

RxyRax16 karma

What got you into reviewing sex toys? Did you just wake up one day and feel like reviewing sex toys? Did you aspire to be a dildologist as a young girl?

DangerousLilly23 karma

What got me into reviewing sex toys is simple: Over about a 2 year time period my husband and I had been purchasing sex toys but most were failures. Some were very expensive failures. Every body likes and requires different things but we can be put into groups of similarities; I like pressure and vibrations that reach beneath the surface to stimulate the clitoral legs. I require this most times for an orgasm. So when I was searching for a new toy, I was frustrated that none of the "reviews" on the sex toy sites seemed to tell me anything useful, nor could I ask those women a question. I eventually found a blogger who was reviewing the sex toy I'd been looking for, and started talking to her about it. I started a blog, I contacted a company, and they agreed to send me a few toys to review on my blog. It grew from there.

I didn't know until a few years ago how toxic some sex toys could be, I just knew some were nicer than others and not all were stinky and greasy. When I started learning more, and figuring out that not all manufacturers were telling the truth (because they don't have to) I started blogging about it, and educating others.

pink_mango15 karma

Clitoral legs?

DangerousLilly35 karma

Ohhhh yes :) The clitoris is like...an iceberg. You can only see the very tippy tip protruding. The rest is internal, it divides in a y-shape ("legs"). I explained it here, with an anatomy drawing from wikipedia.

Needsmoregay15 karma

Have you ever tried bad dragon toys?

DangerousLilly11 karma

No, but I know reviewers who love them. The designs just don't appeal much to me personally but from what I know, they're a good company making safe, quality items. I'm also not into realistic "human" modeled dildos, either.

DangerousLilly2 karma

This chick has reviewed the most BD toys that I know of on one blog.

Sybian_rides13 karma

Have you ever tried the Sybian?

If not, is it on your list?

DangerousLilly7 karma

It's too pricey and too loud. It's interesting, but I've not tried it.

hairlongmoneylong8 karma

Which toy would you vote as the "best bang" for the buck?

DangerousLilly15 karma

If I had to pick JUST ONE it's the We-Vibe Tango (the Salsa is awesome, but being discontinued, same thing just different shape) but my top picks are here, categorized. Because I'm a sex toy geek.

lozzobear8 karma

Hey! Iv'e just tried my first sex toy review, mind having a look? Reckon I've got a future in dildology?


DangerousLilly6 karma

You've got a knack for adding humor into a review, that's for sure. That was hysterically funny! I'm glad you didn't go the "shame" route and put down porn, sex toys or masturbation.

guitarbrah8 karma

How would you say your frequent sex toy use has influenced your sex life, if at all? Do you prefer real sex to masturbation?

DangerousLilly24 karma

They're two different things. Often, I will masturbate for stress relief. For something quick. Or to just enjoy time with my own brain. I also love partnered sex. With or without sex toys. But due to the way my vulva/clitoris is, I am unlikely to climax during partnered sex if a vibrator isn't brought to the equation. None of my partners, nor my husband, have minded that. They enjoy using it on me or watching me, or helping. It's part of the sex.

John___Stamos8 karma

Has there ever been a time when as you were testing a toy and thought to yourself "this is fucking weird"?

DangerousLilly12 karma

Absolutely. Probably the FunToys G-Vibe because the shape is scary, the suggestions are just NO NO and it was bad all around.

oppsforgoodeverywher7 karma

I've heard that vibrators can be desensitizing over time. Have you found that to be true?

DangerousLilly13 karma

If you use a really powerful and "buzzy" one like say, the Magic Wand (formerly known as Hitachi Magic Wand) you can become a little desensitized for a very short time, but not permanently or for longer than a few days. If you're using a vibrator with deep, rumbly "thuddy" vibrations, it's less likely. In fact, I noted that my increased use of vibrators had appeared to make me more sensitive and I started having more "manual" orgasms whereas before it was nearly impossible.

hazzzaa7 karma

What is your opinion on the new "fundawear" tech from Durex? have you tried it out? do you want to?

DangerousLilly3 karma

I have NOT tried it out, but it looks kinda interesting. I somehow doubt though that they'd make it in plus sizes.

champthecat7 karma

Do you have any sex toy recommendations for a gal who suffers from vulvodynia? I need something really gentle...

DangerousLilly7 karma

Is your pain mostly external or internal? Is manual masturbation painful?

DangerousLilly10 karma

Actually, I absolutely hate the toy because it doesn't deliver much and doesn't live up to the hype BUT the JimmyJane Hello Touch might work for you. The vibrations in my opinion are gentle, and you control the pressure because you wear the little vibrating pods on your fingers. (not good unless you have slim fingers, though). It's small, so you could keep it to your clitoris if needed. Feel free to give me more info and I can refine the recommendation.

Sugreev20017 karma

Which sex toy you wouldn't recommend even to your worst enemy ?

DangerousLilly11 karma

Lots. Anything jelly, that is possibly toxic. Anything that stinks. Anything porous (it can harbor dirt, mold, bacteria, and make you sick).

Nguyener6 karma


DangerousLilly11 karma

It's sadly, really difficult. You've got to find a way to explain to him, factually, that not all women can easily orgasm through dicks, tongues or fingers. Many women cannot orgasm from penetration alone. There are also many sex bloggers out there who review and write the blog as a couple. It's not about him, it's about YOU. You've got to find the words to get that through to him. If he won't stop being selfish and close-minded, I'd rethink things, honestly. Or see a therapist, together.

disposablemerkin6 karma


DangerousLilly9 karma

Sex toys range in price, as you likely know. The brands you were looking at back in the day likely still exist. They still produce cheap items that are unreliable. I've had some cheap (under $20) sex toys last me years, and some die in a month. And we've seen the same from the "luxury" brands. LELO is one luxury brand that started out so well....but then it went under new management and they started slowly trimming costs. Now, people are utilizing the manufacturer's warranty (yes, the higher end companies have a warranty) because the items are breaking more often.

I've owned a cheap, USB-powered external bullet vibrator that has worked very well for me, and an $80 external rechargeable bullet that is my favorite. I've owned $200 sex toys that I would never, ever recommend to anyone. I've reviewed a lot more of the "luxury" sector than any other. The cheap shit was the stuff I owned before I knew better.

So since price does not always equal quality (except when you're talking non-vibrating dildos...then price DOES equal quality, because the prices reflect the use of medical grade non-porous 100% safe lasts-forever silicone....brands like Tantus and Vixen), truly your best bet is to do your research online first. If you can't find reviews by bloggers like me, then likely stay away from it. You'll be able to find people like me talking about the items and giving our opinions. Not all reviewers give opinions, some are going to only say good things and just want you to buy via their site (look over their reviews, see if they ever say anything bad...if they don't, that's a sign).

radiorelaytower3 karma

I didn't realize there had been a change in management at LELO, but we were affected. The Mia we had, after (sadly) not a whole lot of use over six months, had the motor begin to separate from its casing inside. To their credit they were very cool about honoring the warranty and sent a new Mia 2 as replacement, which will hopefully not suffer from the same problem. Time will tell.

DangerousLilly9 karma

I've also know of two reviewers who had that happen. Yes, they've been very good with warranty issues. Even if you think it might not be covered, ask them anyways. Preferably on a public social media account like their Facebook page :) They'll tell you to contact them via email, but in every case I've seen have been good about replacing things. If you're getting the Mia 2, and you had the original Mia, you'll notice a nice increase in vibration strength.

BunnieBonnie5 karma

I've been considering getting the Hitachi Wand got a while now, are they all they are cracked up to be? Also, I usually just use clitoral stimulation to climax, I've always wanted to try a rabbit but I'm not sure what I should start off with or if I should at all...

Thank you for helping a fellow lady out ;)

DangerousLilly7 karma

Rabbits are SO hard to recommend, honestly. Every vulva is different and rabbits are so not one-size-fits-all, you know? I've tried maybe a dozen, and none were "perfect". If you really need loads of intense vibrations, the Magic Wand can be awesome. I loved it for a long time until I discovered that deep, rumbly, penetrating vibrations were better for me. It's still residing in my list of favorites but I only recommend it due to the power you get for the price. The Smart Wand is better in many ways, but also much pricier.

TheMidnightRambler5 karma

How much free stuff do you get from companies? Do you keep your reviewing materials? Do they ask for them back?

DangerousLilly10 karma

Most of the items I've reviewed have been given to me in exchange for my review being posted on my blog. I keep my integrity and say what I want, they get links. I pay them in Google juice, basically, and press.

Yes, of course I keep the sex toys I review. Anything else would be suspicious, weird and unsanitary!

TheMidnightRambler6 karma

I thought it would be extremely weird if you didn't keep them/they wanted them back. Do you just have a closet full of dildos now? I would assume you go through quite a few toys, so you don't really need to keep them.

DangerousLilly6 karma

Many of them I keep so that in future reviews I can compare and contrast. Yes, I have a lot, lol. Some I eventually toss if they're too irrelevant now.

oppsforgoodeverywher5 karma

If you had to construct a super-pack (less than 5 or 10, reasonably affordable) - sort of an "at-least-one-of-these-will-fit-all" survival kit - which would you include?

DangerousLilly8 karma

Ouch, I'm afraid I couldn't be reasonably affordable. The "affordable" sex toys are USUALLY sex toys made from porous and/or questionable materials. Or they just are terrible quality.

And because I'm thorough, I'd have to know if it's for beginners, vagina-owners, penis-owners, couples, hard-to-please, etc. There are just so many factors to consider, there is no "one size fits all" sex toy =/

oppsforgoodeverywher4 karma

Let's start with mid-level-skilled women. Then, to expert-level.

DangerousLilly15 karma

Is she a level 30? 40? Chaotic neutral or what? ;)

I have never understood explaining it in "skill" terms. When I was a complete noob I wasted SO much money on cheaper sex toys because I didn't know the true facts.

Internal or external? Powerful stimulation, or not? External: We-Vibe Tango Internal no vibration: Njoy Pure Wand or Tantus O2 Cush Moderately intense internal-or-external vibrations, not super pricey: Picobong Moka INTENSE but very expensive internal and external: Lelo Smart Wand Large with an attachment Intense but not as good as the Tango, external vibrator: Black Magic Bullet More affordable dildo if strong pressure on the g-spot isn't required (if so, I go back to Pure Wand): Lelo Ella

sweetbeans22 karma

upvote for chaotic neutral!

do you play any tabletop RPG?

DangerousLilly2 karma

Long ago I used to. Now my ADD is so bad that I keep forgetting where we were :P

redditerate5 karma

Is a 'dildologist' something like a 'mixologist' or a 'chocolatier'?

DangerousLilly17 karma

If by that you mean "totally made up name"? Yes. One of the founding partners of Dildology.org came up with it. It's fun, and we like it. Other sex toy geeks like us quite like it, too.

Random-as-FUCK4 karma


But srs time. Do you have/or have had a boyfriend, and if so how does he feel about your job/blogging/degree in Dildology.

DangerousLilly7 karma

I didn't come up with the name but I like it.

I am married. He loves my job. I get him sex toys, sometimes, too. It's enhanced our sex life SO much. He's proud of what I've accomplished, both in building my site and the respect I get from my peers.

fastjeff4 karma

Which toy would better be used as a weapon in your opinion?

DangerousLilly6 karma

The Njoy Pure Wand or the Njoy Eleven. Both made of stainless steel. Both heavy. Pure Wand might be easier to wield for most women.

therealletraset4 karma


DangerousLilly6 karma

Ask her. Seriously. Don't make it a surprise. Too many times this just goes all pear-shaped. She'll know better what might work for her. Both of you do it together, go shopping online, and make it a couples thing. If she wants advice, I can help her much better than through you (no offense, it's a knowing your own body sort of thing).

Kushie4 karma

What is the net value of your sex toy collection?

DangerousLilly9 karma

It would take me a long time, longer than I care to spend, to give even a sort of accurate estimate so I'm going to take a stab at....7 grand over all of the items I've had in the last 5 years? Maybe even 10 grand? I don't currently have all of those items anymore, though.

wywern4 karma

Are you familiar with the great american challenge?

DangerousLilly13 karma

Yes, and I would never, ever ever ever ever ever (get it?) recommend it because of the material. It's porous, and might be toxic (tests would be required of course to know, that's just my guess given the material, but at the least it's very porous). Want something huge? Tantus Hoss. Pure silicone. It'll last you forever, you can maim somebody with it, and it's 100% safe material.

wywern5 karma

Out of curiosity has anyone actually been maimed with a massive dildo?

DangerousLilly3 karma

I feel like I could say with certainty that they have been, although I can't point to the news article. Crazy shit happens everywhere, right?

screebles3 karma

Do you have any suggestions on a wireless vibrator that can be worn out? Are those astrea wireless ones the only thing?

DangerousLilly7 karma

I covered this here. I've handled the ones like what you're talking about in stores, and they were weak. The problem is that on some, the remote is useless to the controlling person, they don't know what you're feeling. If the remote is better, then the signal cuts out a lot, or the vibrator is weak. That scene you might be thinking about, from the movie? LOL not indicative of real life with that particular vibrator unless your clitoris is reallllly sensitive.

screebles3 karma

So the tiana 2 looks to be about the best one in your opinion, and that's still not super.. Though the intent is just to tease the most time, 2 couples going out, and we get to share the girls remotes between all of us, so that should work!

Edit: Any thoughts on the Lyla 2?

DangerousLilly7 karma

Lyla 2 isn't one I've tried, but I think the Tiani would be a little better. A little less obtrusive for external play. But if you really prefer/enjoy moderate vibrations inside your vagina rather than your clit, then try the Lyla 2.

dr_peeper3 karma

Ever gotten anything stuck?

DangerousLilly10 karma

No, because I don't use anal sex toys, but if I did I'd only use ones with a flared base :)

verosaurus883 karma

Long thread, if it says anywhere I hope someone redirects me.

A bit frightened now, we bought a cheap jelly and soft dildo. Just tried a couple of times for now. Just used it in my vagina. I didn't react to it then, could I react later on? Here I am trying to avoid nasty stuff in my shampos and all and then the dildo's gonna kill me :P :P :P Would a condom over it help?

DangerousLilly3 karma

Might help, no studies have been done. Yes, the chemicals leach out over time. You may be ok now, but not in the future. Watch to see if it gets greasy and "sweats". Cover it with a condom as a measure of protection, and then work on replacing it with a quality, pure silicone one.

TangyExplosives3 karma

Any tips to a girl who can‘t orgasm? I started off with a basic vibrator for stimultation and I‘ve since purchased a Hitachi Magic Wand. My clitoris used to be painful to touch even in the slightest but I‘ve now progressed to toys and seems to be the only thing that feels good. I get that awesome feeling using the wand but it only lasts for a few seconds then it‘s gone, it never progresses more than that. What am I doing wrong? I‘m fairly certain if I could figure out how to make these sensations last longer I could orgasm but I‘m frusterated I can‘t progress..

DangerousLilly3 karma

Go with a rumbly, deeper-penetrating vibrator. Explore your g-spot, too. Try for vibrations internally AND externally (but sadly, avoid the rabbit styles, all-in-one is generally going to fail you). Try the We-Vibe Tango. I know it's small, but it's got the deep, penetrating vibes. Try the Lelo Smart Wand Large plus the Gee Whiz attachment (it focuses the vibrations into a smaller area for both external and internal). Relax. Keep at it.

Ardythevark3 karma

Why is it that most sex toys are such utter garbage? It seems that this is changing in recent years with more and better toys, if so, what's changing?

DangerousLilly8 karma

What's changing, I think, is the social media aspect. 15 years ago people didn't talk about it like we do now. There weren't sex toy reviewers! The more sex toy reviewers there are, the more online retail sites that let real people upload real reviews where there is commentary, the more manufacturers are forced to up their game. They're garbage because they know that if it breaks, you'll buy another. Many of the old school brands don't care.

Laborn2 karma

Is there such a thing as a banana-shaped (without the skin) dildo? I've looked before and couldn't find anything.

DangerousLilly5 karma

Oh yes. It's actually a vibrator, but you don't have to turn it on.

LeiAdeline2 karma

As a film, game, and music critic myself, I have to ask your process for reviewing. And I mean that in an actual setting up and writing a review kind-of way, not so much in a sexual way.

How exactly do you go through finding a toy to review, acquiring it, and creating a review? What sort of things do you cover, and what sort of standards do you hold the toys up to when figuring out if one is better than the other?

Also, is reviewing sex toys similar to reviewing technology, where there is a greater focus on objective standards and cost? Or is it closer to reviewing things that I review, like movies, where quantifiable objective merits are often less present and there is a greater focus on subjective experience and the work's unique style?

DangerousLilly2 karma

Finding a toy to review: I work with a few retailers who send me things to review on my blog. They want links, I want to tell the truth. We each get what we want. Sometimes manufacturers will contact me directly with the latest innovations. If the item is made of a porous material (jelly, rubber, PVC, TPR) then I won't review it because I won't use those materials.

When I was searching for reviews for myself, to figure out if the toy might be right for me, I cared a lot less about the specs than I did of "what are the vibrations like"? There is no set standard, but I focus more on my personal opinion than just listing off the specs. I discuss how it actually worked out for me vs what the manufacturer claims. I will usually compare it to one or two other toys I already own that are similar. The reviews are subjective. I have given glowing reviews on things others have hated, and vice versa. But for women who can identify with my style and needs, my opinion really helps them decide. I have ripped an item to utter shreds, and hated everything about it (like the JimmyJane Hello Touch - there are "reviews" on places like Gizmodo, and then there is my review...from a person who used it, and found every aspect to be lacking from what the manufacturer promises).

SEGirl2 karma

I love rabbits and bought a lelo one (not the Soraya the other one that is two tone (the ina)) can you suggest any high quality rabbits that have a good strong clitoral vibe component?

Saw the vitality v12...

DangerousLilly3 karma

Nope. I'm sorry. I know that's not what you wanna hear. I've tried a couple of the Jopen Vanity ones. The VR6 has the most powerful internal portion I've ever felt on a rabbit and it can make up for the lack of external power, usually. But I can't find a rabbit with a great, rumbly/deep powerful vibration on the clitoral part.

threaux_away2 karma


DangerousLilly7 karma

You can't go cheap, ok? Especially with butt toys. You don't want porous! Go with hard plastic (Nexus makes some great ones) or pure silicone. My husband liked the Nexus Neo a lot, but it doesn't vibrate. It's also been discontinued on my favorite site =/ Here's a list of good materials and good brands. Aneros is okay. The Lux ones and the Janus anti-shock are all nice.

THEarmpit2 karma


DangerousLilly3 karma

Gotta say I'm not a fan because they're made from a porous material with iffy plastisizers and chemicals. And if you're not careful, you could go too far and cause tearing or other damage. They're generally pretty sturdy though, have never heard about one popping during use.

Off_Topic_Oswald2 karma

What was the worst/most dangerous sex toy you have ever tested?

DangerousLilly4 karma

The worst was my one and only very porous and very stinky dildo, called an "UltraReal" by Doc Johnson, I think. It stunk up our entire apartment. Another horrendous one was the Venus Penis 2, a wearable vibe that penetrates and supposedly stimulates the clit. It failed on all levels, and was porous. The Fixsation Couples vibe was never going to work for my body, the vibrations were minimal and the hard plastic sharp edges actually cut me minorly once.

ohgodthezombies2 karma

My boyfriend and I were wanting to try out a wireless vibrator(like one of the small eggs), but after some looking around, it appears none of them really work well or the 'maybe ok' ones are expensive as hell.

Any alternative suggestions? We don't know much about toys as we've never used them. We were wanting it for 'out of the house' sorts of things.

Help me OP, you're my only hope.

DangerousLilly2 karma

The only thing I can suggest is to use one of those that has a corded power pack. Nestle the egg in between your labia and held in place by snug panties. Thread the cord up and out and into your pocket. He'd have to be next to you, obviously, to change the speeds. But I think if you use the Black Magic Bullet, you'd be able to go from "teased" to "orgasm".

RocGoose1 karma

If one has an idea for a new toy, where should they start to make it a reality?

DangerousLilly1 karma

Apply for a patent, spend the money for a prototype, and then do crowd-funding to get it made. In between that though, like the details, I'm truly not sure.

verdandi1 karma

So . . . what is the official pluralization of "dildo"?

Is it "dildoes"? Or is it like the plural of "fish" in that it stays the same? One dildo, two dildo, three dildo, etc.

DangerousLilly1 karma

Dildos? yeah. That looks better.

CornflakeJustice1 karma

Top three sex toys for men?

DangerousLilly3 karma

Tenga Fliphole Black; possibly the Nexus Revo; not sure right now what else, the others I'd suggest are discontinued at the site I trust

CornflakeJustice2 karma

Much thanks! :D Which sites do you trust?

DangerousLilly2 karma

EdenFantasys. SheVibe. I've liked dealing with these the best as both a buyer and reviewer.

mrpirate231 karma

How much money is there for being a sex toy tester/dildologist?

DangerousLilly3 karma

Totally depends on many factors. Well, the dildologist thing is a non-profit venture, and casual dildologists just do it for the fun of science :) but reviewing sex toys usually will mean that you have a blog, and that you have an affiliate account at a few stores. If you become popular and respected, people will start buying stuff from your links. Some barely make $50 a month at affiliate earnings, some make hundreds a month. This year I'll likely double what I made last year in sales, and last year was $5k. But I actually work at it. Some bloggers can earn money in advertising, but since Google has tightened the reigns on text links for passing pagerank and whatnot, advertising is less prevalent for "adult" sex / sex toy bloggers.

torystory1 karma

How do you go about telling people what you do for a living?

DangerousLilly4 karma

Who I tell, and how much I tell, depends on many factors. How conservative they are, if we're related, etc. Those that I have told generally react positively. If I told everyone I know, I wouldn't garner as much positive feedback. There's no real need for the family to know. Otherwise I tell them that I work on websites. Which is true, I have built some websites, just not often these days.

zsazsabordeaux1 karma

How did you start testing out toys? How do I get that job+

joshl223931 karma

How did you get into testing sex toys and wwhich one was your favourite?

EvilOttoJr1 karma

How does one become a "Dildologist"? Are there college courses on dildology?

DangerousLilly2 karma

Technically.... you would take classes on organic chemistry, polymers, etc. The brains of the group is planning to do so, to further his current knowledge of such things.

atouchoferotica1 karma

OK Lilly im game, but what are your thoughts on this device?

Hydromax x30 hydropump


The Bathmate Hydromax X30 Hydropump is the ultimate in hydro-technology for penis development and health.

DangerousLilly2 karma

I really can't give an opinion on that, I'm sorry, penis pumps are not something my husband and I have tried.

NCM7281 karma

Are women allowed to test Real Dolls?

DangerousLilly3 karma

Those things are very, very very expensive. I can't see that company giving them out for free.

Leanador1 karma

How do your friends and family feel about this, if they know?

Also, as awkward as it sounds, do people ask you for reviews or tips?

DangerousLilly1 karma

Friends are generally cool. Family doesn't know.

I'm fine with friends asking me for tips. It's not something to be ashamed of, in my eyes.

urbangentlman0 karma

How many orgasms do you figured you've had the pleasure of experiencing ?

DangerousLilly2 karma

Can you answer that for yourself? :) That's like asking me how many cups of coffee I've enjoyed. (answer: I don't keep track)