I am a straight bouncer at a gay bar. AMA

Do they call you the flamethrower?

No

They should.

Why?

how appropriate is your username in this situation?

Very. Sometimes you gotta see things that you can't unsee.

Do you get hit on often?

Yeah, but I think most people do it in the hopes of getting special treatment. I get hit on by women too, and it doesn't fool me.

[deleted]

Yes, straight women included. It's not worth losing a well paying job or having the girl say made her do something she didn't want to.

The funniest/worst experience you've ever had in your occupation?

My first night I walked in on two guys. One was bent over with his fingers stretching his asshole out, and one was putting a rubber on. I saw right up the dude's colon and couldn't unsee it.

Funniest is tough to say because I try to find the humor in everything. Maybe the bachelorette party that thought I was gay and one of them shoved her tits in my face. One of the regulars laughed his was off and shouted "He's a HETERO!!!!!"

It was awkward for them.

I've never understood why women were so free sexually with men who they know don't get off on it.

They can be free and silly without feeling threatened.

how did you get this job?

I knew my boss prior to starting this gig. I tried it out for one night, and while it was traumatizing, the pay is worth it.

Traumatizing? How so?

Saw a guy stretching his as whole open.

why?

To make room for the penis of the guy putting a condom on.

Is that... legal?

Edit: I mean sex in a club, not gay sex.

Nope. That's why we try to prevent it.

Why? Was he already inside the asshole?

No

His asshole?

Yes autocorrect is an asshole

I don't want to diminish what you do.... but do you pretty much just need to be intimidating looking to get into this work? I've been thinking about doing this since I'm a large man with scary steely blue eyes and large beard.

No, I don't want to make well paying customers to feel uncomfortable. I am a professional and I try to keep stupid things from happening before they happen.

Has your work changed your perspective on gay people somehow?

I was raised to treat everybody equally. There's a lot of intelligent, successful, and respectable people. There's a lot of people who perpetuate the stereotype by being sassy, rude, and lewd (like fucking in the bathroom).

That said, I understand drag queens a lot more. They're pretty chill, and usually have my back.

I just imagined a crowd of drag queens throwing an unruly customer out the door. I giggled a little.

They really are helpful. They'll point things out to me, or some of the burly ones will tell the unruly customers to leave before I can even get over there! They love me because as one of them said, "He's SOOO CHIVALROUS!!!"

As a former drag queen I totally get this. I used to work at my town's bar and performed there. It was our home and the bartenders and bouncers were our family. We liked to play momma bird. Don't be fuckin with the drag queens!

You go, girl.

[deleted]

No, that's why God made bar backs.

I used to be a bar back in a bar, and we never had to clean up blood. We had a punching machine and whichever bouncer hit the lowest had to. It was a good system

Cool story. I would simply refuse.

For someone looking to start bouncing, are job opportunities greater for those who are taller?

I'm 5'8 and reckon i'm too short to give off that kind of "presence"

A taller and stronger guy is preferable, but it means nothing if you are not professional, courteous, and alert.

5'6'' and I powerlift. No dice right?

Read the comment above.

Ha ha! You sound like a bouncer answering these questions. "Oh! I already told you! Move along!"

I didn't feel like answering the same thing over and over.

Something similar to this I've always wondered about. Why would a bar hire someone overweight as a bouncer? Is it more for an intimidation factor?

Some places would rather have a fat douchebag at the door and pay him minimum wage as opposed to a professional. Those places have less success and more lawsuits.

Have you ever spotted a friend/relative at the bar that you didn't know was gay?

I've seen a few friends/classmates there. Only one surprised me.

You do know you don't have to be gay to go to a gay bar, right? Straight people have gay friends who sometimes wanna go to gay bars.

This is true. I've seen straight girls I know in there.

Do gay bar fights really happen? if so are they campy?

We keep a tight lid on things and are proactive when it comes to keeping trouble makers out. I've broken up a few fights and have gotten there before it even came to blows.

Do your colleagues/bartenders/owners split tips with you? Do you work hourly, or is the number of customers a factor in your pay?

They do not share tips with me, even when their patrons (some who are regulars) pass out, lose control of their bodily fluids, or cause other problems as a result of the bartenders consciously overseeing them. Some bartenders will do anything for their tips, whether it's dangerously overseeing people, or attempting to pour drinks after last call, when people should be leaving.

Coming from a bartender that takes care of his barracks/security that sucks they over serve then call on you to deal with it. Sorry man.

It's ok, there are bartenders and DJs who work with me, not against me. Most of the bartenders are assholes like that, though.

This could be interpreted two ways. Do you keep all the straight men out or are you straight?

I am straight.

1-what nationalities do you get at the bar? 2-has any fights or drama erupted in the bar? 3-what forced you to do such a job? 4-how much do you make?

thanks buddy :D

1 All kinds

2 Answered already

3 It pays well and it's really not that bad.

4 $30 an hour

You make more than most nurses

No benefits or job security, though.

That said, nurses should make more. They're real heroes.

Have you developed any negative views of homosexuals as a result of what you've seen?

No, nasty people are everywhere, and they come in all varieties. A lot of the regulars are kind and caring people.

Have you ever become friends with any of the 'regulars' and hang out with them outside of the bar?

Nope.

Do the gay people who like you introduce you to their hot, straight female friends?

I wish they did.

Ok, ill ask it.

Have you ever had to throw some one out for using a gloryhole?

Using a glory hole? No.

Using the bathroom as a sex/drug den, yes. My first night I walked in on two guys. One was bent over with his fingers stretching his asshole out, and one was putting a rubber on.

Damn, this makes me want to be what you are.

How long do you work each night, and starting at what time?

The time varies.

Why do you want to be what I am?

Sounds quite fun and amusing, I don't know exactly why though.

Also, 30$/hour seems like a fair amount.

Do you imagine yourself in your job for many more years to come or are you planning on getting a new job, some time in life?

I'm looking for a full time job with benefits but this economy blows.

Do you work for Gay Tony?

No, he kept asking me to try his "sauseege."

What does a gay bar fight look like?

Rough, these guys are in good shape.

Has a gay guy ever intentionally tried to get himself thrown out, just because he wanted you to manhandle him?

Not that I know of. I try not to manhandle anybody.

I work with a guy who was working weekends as a bouncer at a gay bar. He quit doing it because there was so much drama he couldn't deal with it.

Some people aren't cut out for it. Some bouncers only make $10/hr. That ain't worth it to me.

Proof?

Not sure how to prove it without revealing where I work. A photo of my security shirt? That's kind of weak though.

Is there a technique to throwing someone out? The only time I was ever thrown out of a bar, it was by a very courteous bouncer that secured me by my belt and shirt collar. I was also so drunk I had passed out on the floor of the bathroom at this shitty dive...

I ask people to step outside so I can talk to them. They usually go. If I have to move you, I'll call for backup if possible. If there's no backup, I do it as safely as possible. I don't grab people by the throat or do anything violent if they're nonviolent. That said, my safety trumps your safety.

do you enjoy it?

When it's not stressful, yes. Better than being a couch potato.

What do you actually earn for this and have you ever tried bouncing at a "normal" bar?

$30 US an hour.

I've done it at straight bars, but they don't pay as well.

Why do you think the gay bar pays better?

Less reliable guys that are willing to work there. Also, the nature of problems can get weird.

How much do you weigh? Muscular, fat, both?

I'm 5'11" and 235lbs. I frequent /r/fitness and have played varsity sports. I'm both, though. I'm strong and mostly solid, but with a beer gut.

Do anyone ever offer to take you home at the end of the night?

Yes.

do you tend to get less people underage trying to get in without id or is it more or less the same?

also is it less violent than a 'normal' bar/club?

Every night I get fakes, IDs that don't belong to the person using it, people who aren't 21 and hand me their ID thinking that I won't look at the date of birth. I also get underage kids who say "Oh, I lost it/I left it at home/my dog ate it," or older guys who try to bring their boy toys in by saying, "he's with me." Cool story bro, you still need ID.

How often do you rough up gay bashers? Met some bouncers once that told me they are told by management to absolutely destroy anybody coming around looking to hassle the patrons.

I don't let them in to begin with.

have you ever gotten lucky/got laid/scored/made-out with any girl that one of your gay patrons brought to the bar? follow-up, same question but replace the word "girl" with the word "guy".

No

The biggest gay bar in Belfast, The Kremlin, is known for having a fantastic after hours nightclub, even for straights.

Straight people come to my bar as well. More straight women than men.

[deleted]

Never. That's a stereotype. Plus, I don't dress for fashion when I work.