I was a homeless male model AMA.

Is there more to life than being really, really, really good looking?

Not that I can see.

I should share some pictures. Good ones and not so good.

Well I grew a vagina.

Thanks?

Sorry???

I believe he's trying to justify his brorection.

Oh I get it now. I give myself boners all the time, doesn't make me gay.

Exactly, there's nothing gay about two straight guys getting each other hard!

Hell, I'm so straight I'm hard now.

What are you pondering in all of your pictures? It is life on the street?

Where am I going to shit tonight. Mainly I was trying to do what the photographer was asking me to do. I really didn't prepare myself like I should have. But at this point not very many people knew what was going on in my life so I didn't have friends or family to give me feedback on my so called poses.

I was just kidding around. You seem to have almost the same facial expression in all of your pics.

Yeah, it's called the "pre-poop" not as good as "Blue Steele" but it is my own.

So... You're Christian Bale?

David Beckham

FTFY

Bale, Beckham and Cooper love child.

You have that homeless scruffy look

Still do, I don't like to shave so much. Except where it counts.

fucker, you got your hair still

Lots and lots of silky soft silver hair. Sometimes I have my hairdresser cut it all off just so it can grow back. You have no idea how good it feels to have hair follicles working there butts off all over your scalp. MMMMM hair.

I see the meth cravings in your eyes

LOL. That's trauma baby, pure sweet childhood trauma.

I think I remember seeing you in that thread of the woman who gave out bags of supplies to homeless people. (Y)

Also:

• Did your Modeling Agency know about your way of living?

•Did they provide you with showers and such for the days you weren't exactly tidy?

•How much did they pay you? Was it enough for you to gather food every now and then, or did they eventually pay you enough for you to buy a home?

•Were you homeless before or after you started working as a model?

No one knew anything about my life situation for most of a year. I had several regular shop jobs during this time as well, I just couldn't keep them once the fugue came over me.

I always showed up tidy where ever I went. You can get surprisingly clean at a gas station if you are motivated.

If I remember right I got about $5,000 for half a days work, if you could call it work. $2,000 or so went to the agency to cover cost of printing comp. cards and maintaining my web presence. I did get plenty of call backs and request from art directors for face to face meetings. But nothing came of it alas. Modeling like any other line of work is fickle.

My memory is pretty shitty, so I have a hard time putting things in accurate chronological order. But I think I was homeless first and model second. Part of my PTSD is I don't remember much of my childhood, and that memory fog keeps creeping up on me.

Are you a male model?

did you used to be homeless?

No and yes.

"Best Night AMA That Won't Get Traffic"

Spur of the moment, commenting here earlier. I'm no good at karma anyways so no loss.

You have an eerily similar story to a buddy of mine in Portland. He had severe depression/anxiety and was basically homeless while modeling. He is now in Milan and doing a little but better. Which agency are you with? I was with Muse for awhile.

Are you sure? Cause I worked with Muse as well, and I'm pretty sure I'm not in Milan. Too much effing snow here.

Yeah he is still in Milan, pretty small world Portland is.

Freakishly small. I'll be real surprised if someone from PDX doesn't recognize me.

effing snow...
just say fuck - it doesn't hurt anyone, and we all know what you meant to say

I love me some SP, and LCK does a bit on this as well, but I think effing just looks and sounds funnier.

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Long story short. My parents found out I was on the streets. While still a teen my younger brother, who was homeless at the time, committed suicide. I couldn't live with myself knowing how much pain they were in worrying about me, so I agreed to move back home at the embarrassing age of 40 something. In a lot of ways this was worse for me than being homeless. I was faced daily with reminders of my childhood trauma and it was not going well for me. Luckily I got on the Oregon health plan found a counselor I could trust, figured out my meds, then began the long work of fixing my head hole.

I'm not sure if you have already answered this, I have not got to it if you have, but what happened when you were a kid?

Beatings, lots and lots of violent beatings.

I'm so sorry! that is really horrible. It sounds like you have found a way to be happy though, which is amazing, I admire you and wish all the absolute best!!!

Thank you.

How much income would you have needed to afford a home?

Any would have helped. But I was mainly homeless because I was off medication for depression/ADD/bi-polar/PTSD. I could get jobs while homeless but I couldn't keep them. And when I did have money I didn't pay my bills.

What medications keep you functional?

Current regime is 20mg Cymbalta for depression, 10mg three times a day Adderall for ADD. Cognitive and behavioral therapy for PTSD and anger management.

PTSD from?

Violent childhood. But not nearly as violent as the childhood my father suffered through. My family has a history of alcoholism and anger issues. My father is an incredible man who came out of real poverty and made a middle class life for his three children. But there was a lot of shit that hit the fan along the way.

hug

Reach around.

That was...unexpected.

No one expects the Spanish Reach Around.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how homosexual are you?

I'll let my partner answer this one. Honey?

Oh my god, he is so gay! The best boyfriend a girl could want. He might like shopping even more than me. He has more expensive underwear than I do. He asks if his outfit matches before he goes and walks the dogs. He redecorates and does flower arrangements constantly. But can also be totally bad ass and macho and scary when he's mad.

TIL: Flower arrangements, redecorating and being scary when mad is the magic combination to panty melting.

GF: Duh!

Can I see some of your pictures?

Here.

if you scroll through these really fast, it's like a super strange movie

I know, creepy, right?

well, at least entertaining.

It cracks me up every time I look at them. I think I look pathetic in most of them. But that's not who I am any more than the ones that make me look really, really, really ridiculously good looking.

haha, I just did the same thing.

I should fix the order of a couple of them. They would also make a great gif if someone wants to take a crack at them.

(:

You are welcome.

You look like the result of a sexual firestorm between Brett Farve and Guy Pierce.

There sure is a lot of gay sex being used to describe my looks. :)

So, how you doin?

Super awesome, how you doing?

U look constipated in some of these.

I was homeless so um yeah, might have been. Mainly nervous and clueless.

Would you mind sharing some details about how your anger/depression/PTSD developed?

I am willing and able, but it would be kind of a long post so let me work on it and I'll get back to you.

Did you feature prominently in derelict?

No, but one of those trash bags looked awfully familiar.

How did you meet with the person/people who recruited you for the agency? What did you think when they asked you?

Also, are you more of a Zoolander or a Hansel?

I was walking through a mall when I see an attractive woman sitting with her man totally checking me out. I smiled as I walked past cause I was feeling good before and that just made it better. Next thing I know the two of them approach me from behind and ask if I am a model. I say "no", so they ask if I want to be one. I got a good laugh from that and said "sure, why not?" Turns out they own a local modeling agency and totally hook me up with head shots, comp. cards, web presence, the whole nine yards. It was really fast and kind of overwhelming. Went to lots and lots of casting calls cause I had nothing better to do and still had gas money tucked away from my last paying job. Eventually I got a gig for a stock photo shoot. Everyone I worked with was awesome, even made a few grand for less than half a days work.

As far as who in Zoolander I am most like, I say Mugatu, my partner says I'm more like a straight Anderson Cooper without the big nose (who wasn't in that film but should have been).

You must have really loved the derlict campaign, going for the gàrbâgé look.

sorry couldn't resist.

I still love the shit out of that whole movie, such good times, until the fire.

Hmm, I can see the resemblance! Err, to Anderson Cooper, not Mugatu, haha. Well I heard they're making a sequel, so you never know...

I identify with Mugatu most cause I feel like I'm taking crazy pills most of them time. Plus Will Farrell is just fucking brilliant.

How is the industry? How come you never went into hand modeling, is that industry to cut throat for you?

Have you seen what a washed up hand model looks like. No thanks my friend no thanks. I'd rather be homeless.

U had it easy ur good looking u can just leeching of a rich girl :)

Those kind of rich girls are usually disgusting bitches, just like those kind of rich guys are. Seriously what normal person wants a live in hooker?

Best sex you've ever had?

About three or four months after me and my partner started hooking up. I've had plenty enough over the years to know when I got it good. And let me tell you sister I got it good. :)

I thought that said let me tell your sister i got it good, that would of been weird.

Please don't tell your sister about my sex life. That would be weird.

This AMA reminds me of the movie "Delirious". A homeless guy in his early 20's becomes friends with a creepy paparazzo (Steve Buscemi) and ends up becoming a quasi-celebrity after some of his modelling head-shots are circulated around town.

Make it so.

Is vanity something to be celebrated? Society seems to put a high value on it over intelligence. Why is a model worth millions while a physicist is worth middle class income levels?

I would have guess distortions in the free market. Either that or good looking people are just worth more money. I don't think fairness enters into the equation.

in January of last year this was my EXACT predicament for about 6 months. What agency are you with now?

No agency now. But January is a real tough time of year to homeless friend. I hope things a looking up.

I currently work for Ralph Lauren Media (not modeling) but I am also signed to a smaller but well known agency in NC.

I am so happy for you. Seems like a brutal industry to make a living at. I still have the desire to model, and I have years left given my look and Americas aging demographics. I never know what the future holds and I don't think I want to.

So did you just move your car around at night when you would sleep? As someone trying to travel cheaply, would you recommend the 'sleeping in the car' method?

For sure you can travel very cheaply living in your car. Laundry mats, YMCA, cup-o-noodles and potatoes will get you a long way in this world. Also stock up on butt wipes, lots and lots of butt wipes.

I'm a male model, not a male prostitute.

Holly shit who are you?!?

How did you maintain your personal grooming to model standards while being homeless?

Butt wipes. Butt tons of butt wipes.

What did you eat, and how did you cook it?

Lots of cold fried chicken bought half price after 8 pm. Had a jet boil and cup-o-noodles but maintaining a fresh water supply is one of the most unappreciated hardships of being homeless. Got on EBT after friends found out my living arrangement's. One of my greatest friends of all time went way out of her way to get me the medical help I needed. Ended up in out patient treatment for my symptoms for 6 mo. and I still can't afford to pay off that bill. Medical care is a mother fucking bitch in this country if you are poor. This is the only thing that pisses me off about the whole ordeal. Fuck the Capitalist health care system with a sharp pointy stick.

I'm happy for you. I really am.

thanks, me too.

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Right now I am mainly the bitch. LOL. I make furniture and art as more than a hobby and less than a job. My partner spends the day making the world a better place for disadvantaged youths and paying the bills, so I spend my day taking care of her (she says spoiling her rotten) and our two golden retrievers. When I get inspired I create, but we don't need my income to reach our goals. Just time, sweet precious time.

And I got zero pussy, anus or dick while modeling. :( Can't take many girls home to your truck. Sucks to pick them up in your house just as bad.

anything memorable from your modeling career - like almost getting some or going to a wild party or something?

Modeling career is a bit of a misnomer. I had more of a casting call career and that don't pay dick, there are no parties to go to. And no one will tell why they don't want you. Sucks balls and not in a good way.

How did you get back on your feet?

Was it because you met your significant other?

How did you meet your significant other?

Keep on keeping on Wasabijoe.

Once I got stable on medication and started living with my parents I decided it would be good to try to do a regular social event, just once a week or something – low stress, low commitment. I ended up joining a board gaming group with a bunch of nice, geeky guys. No pressure and nobody asked about my life. It was just all focused on gaming. One of the guys, who generally hosted the game nights at his house, became a very close friend and I ended up staying overnight often with his family. In walks my future partner (his sister) who lived on the same street, radiant after having dropped decade-long baggage in a damaging relationship, and on to a new beginning in her life.

I'm always amazed at how people can just start a new life. Happened to a friend of mine. At 45 years old he got divorced. Moved to a foreign country and married another girl there. Now they have a child together and life is great for them. Well done Wasabijoe. Guys like you give me hope.

Baby I guarantee it can always get better and its never too late, as long as you spend your time making you a better you. My only real serious advise.

was it cold living outside in the winter? i realize oregon is not the coldest place in the world but how cold does it get there in the winter at night?

It's fucking cold enough I'll tell you. People die living on the streets there every year. The thing about Portland is you cant get dry. From October to June everything is wet and muddy. I had a small pickup with a cheap ass canopy on the back and even I couldn't stay dry. The wet just seeps in every where, and then comes the mildew. Yuck.

Any crazy stories from your hobo-modelling days?

Also what's up with the username?

Like the time when I was freezing my ass off in the truck, listening to the two guys in the tent next to me talking about how warm it must be in there and discussing whether or not they should kill me and take it? Apparently getting rid of the body was the stumbling block.

I like sushi.

Wtf? Hahaha, fuckin lol'd. Thanks.

Yeah, it's funny now but I didn't sleep that night let me tell you.

Hahaha, you didn't consider stepping out and sayin "I can hear you, shut the fuck I'm trying to sleep".

Sure they would've dropped their sacks if you did.

I watched em set up. I'm 6'2" 200lbs and they where both bigger than me and had been on the streets longer. Keeping my mouth shut and a knife in my hand got me through a lot better than causing shit would have I think. And they knew I could hear them, it was kinda of the point of the whole conversation. I don't think they wouldn't have done anything and where just fucking with my head. Didn't make me feel safer knowing that though, cause there are some real fucked up people living on the streets. REAL FUCKED UP.

Damn, man. Suppose you're right. You seem like a real cool dude, I'd chill with you any day.

As long as your dad isn't around I'd be cool with that.

I live in Portland too. All I can say is lucky you for getting a modeling job. I tried going through Barbizon Modeling.. It was such a scam :(

I've nothing but respect for the way I was treated by both my Agency (Muse), and every one I had the pleasure of working with. But your experience is much more common I'm afraid.

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Yep. But if you keep a low profile and stay in the areas they don't hassle you'll at most be asked to move along. At least if you are a good looking white dude they will, can't speak for others experiences.

Any advice on how to dress nice when you're on a budget. Where do you shop?

Goodwill is great, especially in funky, urban areas. Garage sales if you check for fashionable men’s clothing in your size on craigslist prior to going. Sometimes men’s consignment shops. Sometimes ebay. More important to have a few nice items that you keep clean and odor-free. I also had some help with that in that my weight doesn’t change significantly so I still had some classic clothing items that I purchased before I was homeless that fit fine.

Do you happen to know an Alex Pascale? A friend I know who did some modeling out there as well. Just a curiosity.

Sorry, doesn't ring a bell.

Life generally turns out ok for tall, attractive white men.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg48ZZ2wYfM

It's sad but true. Of all the advantages I received at birth, and that's a lot, white definitely is the most handy. I could tell you so many stories of cops letting me go on my way after being caught red handed. It would boggle your mind. There is no way I would not be in prison right now if I had any pigmentation in my skin at all. Seriously, a brother would not believe what you can get away with when your white.