Hey Reddit, I'm Jordan Schlansky, Associate Producer of CONAN. Ask me anything.

Proof: https://twitter.com/TeamCoco/status/313740921361539074

About me: http://teamcoco.com/video/conan-busts-jordan-schlansky-his-espresso-machine

Edit: Thank you all for these questions... Please come visit us in LA. -JS

Edit #2: Photo: Jordan during his AMA: http://instagram.com/p/XA3SKfDQbj/

Comments: 555 • Responses: 60  • Date: 

rpete299 karma

As a Late Night intern years ago, I was helping you set up a stereo in Conan's office. You asked me what my career plans were, and I said I wanted to be a TV producer. You then said something like, "well this is what a producer does. Get used to it." It was kind of depressing. Were you purposely trying to kill my hopes and dreams?

Team_Coco432 karma

No but it was best to be honest with you up front! -JS

YouAintGotToLieCraig229 karma

Are you aware that your picture is being used for the "Creepy Date Guy" meme? How do you feel about that?

Team_Coco316 karma

I was not aware, but I suppose that would be an adequate fit. -JS

idc321229 karma

When Conan bursts into your office to film a segment, are you aware that he is coming or does he really just suddenly show up in your office with a cameraman?

Team_Coco458 karma

I can assure you I had no idea he was coming when we shot that remote last week. I was innocently typing out an email when a 6'4" man and two bright lights burst into my office. -JS

Stiffstick209 karma

What exactly do you do at Conan? How do you keep a straight face in all of your skits?

Team_Coco380 karma

I suppose it's contextual. If someone is using humor in a confrontational circumstance, I typically don't laugh much. -JS

Team_Coco167 karma

Thank you all for these questions... Please come visit us in LA. -JS

Danielrh9141 karma

Hey Jordan,

When you had that infamous sketch with Harrison Ford back at the NYC Late Night show, I was actually in the live audience for it. He looked genuinely pissed. Did you guys do that in rehearsal or did you actually spring it on him live?

Team_Coco222 karma

The segment producer knew that I was familiar with his bullwhip and suggested a trivia question that would be nearly impossible for him to answer. It was definitely not rehearsed and I suppose his answer was the best that could be expected under those circumstances. -JS

Danielrh9133 karma

Did those bitches really have to die?

Team_Coco174 karma

I'm happy to admit those girls are likely in some Copenhagen VIP club at the moment and very much alive. -JS

Frajer122 karma

Are you really as erudite and Conan as slovenly as you make yourselves seem on the show?

Team_Coco314 karma

Whether you like the segments or hate them, the fact of the matter is they are an absolutely accurate representation of our everyday dynamic. -JS

titations117 karma

I love the chemistry with you and COCO...Is he really like that around you without the cameras on? you know, saying that he wants to kill you?

Team_Coco210 karma

Everything that happens on camera happens off camera as well! -JS

himynameiszack116 karma

When was the first time Conan talked to you and said "This guy...this guy needs to be on the show."?

Team_Coco198 karma

As many of you guys know, it was during the writers' strike in 2008, and it seemed natural to use the opportunity to incorporate circumstances that we found compelling and funny in our everyday lives. -JS

nihadsk110 karma

Why did you learn how to use a bullwhip?

Team_Coco513 karma

Why not, it's the oldest method to break the speed of sound. -JS

Cardsfan1539110 karma

Any funny stories about Conan and the team you'd like to share?

Team_Coco225 karma

Conan is without a doubt the funniest person I've ever met and too many things come to mind to even attempt to pick one out. I reserve the right to return to this question if I think of anything before we're done! -JS

will65080 karma

Hi Jordan, thanks for doing this AMA!

  • What are your various duties as an Associate Producer?

  • Did you ever get your elitist espresso machine back?

  • Lastly, but most importantly, what does Conan O’Brien smell like?

Team_Coco159 karma

All of the production tasks of the show are divided amongst a number of producers and we each take on different responsibilities. To some extent, they vary from day to day, but the reality is most of them would not be considered the glamorous part of show business. -JS

Team_Coco103 karma

I've never noticed any scent. -JS

Team_Coco103 karma

Yes. -JS

fradetti40 karma

Why have you bought a capsule machine... you should have got http://www.lapavoni.it/

that's the real ultimate elitist coffee machine

Team_Coco87 karma

You would likely enjoy the city of Naples. -JS

Team_Coco93 karma

I'm going to answer those questions in reverse order...

BigNagger76 karma

Has there been a skit that you clearly said no to but you still had to do it?

Edit: Whats your favorite skit of all time?

Team_Coco177 karma

You're assuming I have been asked in advance!

The dinner remote we shot in New York City was a fantastic night and therefore probably remains my personal favorite.


titations75 karma

Do you still have the Pop Tart can of shame eating in your office?

Team_Coco113 karma

Unfortunately, the can never made the move out west. -JS

YouAintGotToLieCraig67 karma

How would you react if someone used the word expresso in front of you. Murder?

Team_Coco205 karma

That would make me a serial killer. -JS

titations66 karma

So Jordan...do you still drink CYTOGAINER?

Team_Coco156 karma

Yes, but unfortunately they changed the formula and it's no longer 100% whey. -JS

logicatch58 karma

Approximately what % of Late Night staffers made the move to the west coast for The Tonight Show, and subsequently how many stayed onboard when you started Conan on TBS? Did you personally have any doubts about making the move with Conan to the west coast before or after The Tonight Show?

Team_Coco108 karma

I never tallied it up, but I would loosely guess approximately 80% of the New York staff came to LA, and I'd say most continued onto the current show. I loved living in New York, but I'm always open to experiencing new places. -JS

gmac199457 karma

Why is your office so far away from everyone else?

Team_Coco117 karma

It's an unfortunate consequence of the real estate here. -JS

TheGreatSandman53 karma

My name is Jordan and I like espresso as well. Cheers!

Team_Coco115 karma

Bravo -JS

spicy_jose53 karma

Where I work we have a $2000 espresso/coffee machine that grinds the beans fresh before every cup. It is much like the one you have at your office, but better. Recently I was moved downstairs where we are forced to use a Keurig. A fucking Keurig. What would you do if you were put in this situation?

Team_Coco215 karma

Walk upstairs and use the superautomatic. -JS

RobertVEsquire50 karma

Have you ever been in a submarine?

Team_Coco81 karma

No. -JS

KaoseT49 karma

What is your favourite white wine, red wine and Rosé wine?

Team_Coco167 karma

Definitely depends on the meal, but if money is no object, I'll take a Sassicaia, a San Filippo "Pecorino", and a Castello Di Ama Rosato... but the latter two only on a hot summer night. -JS

Surfninja47 karma

Does the foodie mailing list still exist, or did it cease after it was outed on the show? Is there a new secret mailing list?

Team_Coco74 karma

I don't administer that list, but I'm pretty sure I remember seeing some recent activity -JS

ceanders41 karma

do you still have the red vespa?

Team_Coco105 karma

I'm convinced I will always have a red Vespa. -JS

dianalourdes41 karma

It is well known that some of the staffers at Conan have been punching bags for Mr. O'Brien. Have you been one of those?

Team_Coco75 karma

Yes. -JS

gg60440 karma

What's your real job for the show?

Team_Coco127 karma

Please see aforementioned response. -JS

Johns_not_2039 karma

I know that Conan referenced you being from Buffalo, but you weren't wearing jorts and drinking a Labatt's Blue can....what gives?

Team_Coco64 karma

Conan was mistaken. That said, I recommend everyone try Duff's in Amherst if you ever have the opportunity. -JS

tym_39 karma

Is your on-air personality similar to your actual personality? If so, don't you realize how you come off, and that the reason we think you're hilarious is not because of your culinary / fashion / etc bravado?

Team_Coco97 karma

Yes to both. -JS

bboyjkang38 karma

Rage of 1000 suns

Conan likes to mock his writers: “Conan's Writers - Conan O'Brien, The Boss (Paley Center, 2008)” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-G7figtITM#t=1m32s), attack his employees: “CONAN O'BRIEN & ANDY RICHTER vs Team Nerdist - All Star Celebrity Bowling” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz479KngUys#t=2m7s), and derides his assistant: “Conan and his assistant, Sona” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oeGF-A8fB8k&NR).

Conan really takes it to you: “Conan & Jordan - Freak Show ” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6S8QL-JkE0

Everyone else is able to laugh it off, but it seems like you could be prone to holding pent-up anger.

There was a skit where Conan asks the crowd whether they want to give you health insurance, or have an expensive orchestra play for 10 seconds. The crowd repeatedly booed you, kept cutting your plan, and wanted to play the orchestra for another 10 seconds, and the camera kept getting a close-up of your annoyed, yet stern face.

It's just a skit, but a bit of real emotion must be seeping through.

Q: Will you 1 day explode in a fiery fit of rage.

Team_Coco199 karma

This is a really long question - JS

GeezerMuldoon34 karma

do you prefer Florence or Rome?

Team_Coco80 karma

Florence! -JS

bboyjkang29 karma

Are there any healthy and enjoyable dishes that you recommend people try?

Team_Coco68 karma

Anything with olive oil -JS

ICWenner29 karma

Are you really Italian?

Team_Coco111 karma

Not at all, but I very much identify with and appreciate Italian culture. -JS

grumpyhaus27 karma

What is your most memorable "diva" moment that Conan has had behind the scenes?

Team_Coco69 karma

I think one of the reasons I've stuck around here so long is because our talent and staff is incredibly down to earth, and we don't typically have to deal with those issues -JS

TheDuskDragon26 karma

If you could switch places with Conan during one show, how would you do things differently?

Team_Coco71 karma

I would never choose to make that switch. I think Conan does a fantastic job where he is. -JS

Cardsfan153925 karma

Where you at any way involved in the Legally Prohibited tour? I don't remember seeing you in the documentary.

Team_Coco54 karma

I was not involved, but I thought they did a great job. -JS

dtgamerat24 karma

What is your all time favorite Rush album?

Team_Coco51 karma

Presto. -JS

dianalourdes22 karma

What is you education background?

Team_Coco48 karma

State University of New York at Buffalo

jessbreath21 karma

What's a good dessert wine to pair with tiramisu?

Team_Coco75 karma

Hold the dessert wine, finish with a Montenegro after. -JS

nevermoar20 karma

Hello there, Jordan!

I was wondering what your path to Conan was like. I've been incredibly interested in the whole management and piecing together of television shows and movies, and I was wondering what it takes to break into the business! What steps did you take to lead you to such an awesome job?

Thank you so much! Have a great day. :)

Team_Coco34 karma

I would definitely recommend an internship - JS

theyellowdragon20 karma

Would you rather fight 100 duck sized Conans or one Conan sized duck?

Team_Coco142 karma

Definitely 100 duck sized Conans. Evolutionarily speaking, size has always been a critical advantage to survival in confrontational circumstance. -JS

Cardsfan153919 karma

How are you enjoying normal 'Murican coffee?

Team_Coco52 karma

I have a hard time with an espresso shot that is pulled too long, and the thought of six ounces of drip-brewed coffee seems very unappetizing to me. -JS

mynameisseven19 karma

From the best of your memory, what was it that you and Conan ordered from that Italian bistro (I can't recall the name) on that night you had dinner together?

Also, I remembered you took part in Conan's adventure through George Lucas's ranch. What was that experience like?

Team_Coco40 karma

The mixed Antipasto plate, I know at least one of us had the Pollo Contadina, and a chocolate tortino, amongst other things. The wine was a Barolo Preda 2001 -JS

Pappagallo17 karma

Do you really ride a Vespa to work?

Team_Coco58 karma

Absolutely, it's sitting in the Warner Bros. parking garage right now. -JS

mrwelchman17 karma

You lived in the city for a while, I'd imagine, as a Late Night staffer. What's your go to method of seasoning and cooking a steak in a city where grilling is more or less prohibited?

Team_Coco31 karma

Broiling! - JS

grahvity15 karma

What song do you sing in the shower?

Team_Coco32 karma

Something from the 80s. -JS

Captain_Salmon13 karma

Any advice for someone looking for a career in television?

Team_Coco38 karma

Internship -JS

toper1912 karma

I'm going to be having a filet mignon for diner later, what kind of wine would go good with it? I'm not a fan of real dry reds, so anything semi sweet

Team_Coco28 karma

There are limitless options for red meat. Look at Tuscany, Piemonte, Napa, Argentina, Bordeaux, and Australia to start. -JS

NovemberXSun11 karma

What kind of projects are you currently working on for the show? And if I was in the area, could I get a personal tour of the set :P

Team_Coco30 karma

We are all working hard for our upcoming week in Atlanta, and if you're in LA I definitely recommend you come see a show taping in person -JS

Minifig819 karma

Jordan, how can I get Conan's autograph? I have a small but growing collection of autographs, and I'd love to add his to my collection.


Team_Coco21 karma

Write to the show and I'm sure he will be happy to accommodate -JS

Clueheywood9 karma

The espresso machine segment showed you are a serious Italophile. I'm planning to be there for 2-3 weeks in June, based in Chianti but will travel around a bit. Any sights, experiences, or restaurants that I must not miss?

Team_Coco41 karma

If you're lucky enough to be in Chianti Classico, you don't need any further advice. You are guaranteed to encounter greatness wherever you turn. -JS

maullove4 karma

What's your favorite varietal of wine?

Team_Coco20 karma

I don't have a favorite varietal, all varietals can make great wines and bad ones -JS

RidleyScotch4 karma

What do you miss about working/living in NYC?

I'm interning at 30 Rock, anybody i should say hi to for you? haha.

How did you start in the business and is this the job you thought you would have 10 years ago?

What do you hate about working/living in LA?

Feel free to answer all, some or none of my questions. Cheers

Team_Coco12 karma

You're on the right track, if the Maison du Chocolat is still there, get yourself a nice merenda right about now. -JS

photox3 karma

What coffee do you drink? I'm assuming you buy whole beans. What would you recommend for a coffee enjoyer like myself?

Team_Coco10 karma

If you truly want my advice, try the Moka bar in the Milan Malpensa Airport! I don't make my own, but some of my favorites are Lavazza, Danesi, and Illy. -JS

macsubhine3 karma

Didn't you once call into a radio show and make inane, unsubstantiated claims that we stole material?

Team_Coco10 karma


thediscobison2 karma

If you could educate the American public on one thing, what would it be?

Also, you seem to look down on America/Americans. Why not move?

Team_Coco12 karma

I love the US, that's why I live here... But I ironically learned much about the US from traveling internationally, and my recommendation for anyone from any country would be to travel and see what's out there -JS