Supporting women with ADHD and Autism.

What are some ways that "attention to detail" and "over-stimulation" is different between ASD, ADHD, and OCD? Seems all 3 relate to these two topics in different ways?

Great question! Attention to detail in autism or ADHD can affect and distract from the task at hand. For example, an autistic person might focus on details and miss the bigger picture. A common example for a school-age person would be to form letters perfectly, but forget that the purpose of the task is to complete a short answer or essay. Within a certain time frame. For an adult that could need to get a recipe or other task done just so and lose track of the time frame to completion. With ADHD, the attention to detail becomes a distractor and derails the person from the task at hand. There can be a hyper fixation about details and things being just so in both diagnoses. With OCD, however it can be different. The attention to detail is a source of stress and anxiety and the compulsions are ways to control and reduce that anxiety. There's definitely a relationship among all three.

Could you advise why women have more difficulty being diagnosed with autism and more often tagged with BPD and similar personality disorders? Also how this compares to men being diagnosed with the same?

This happens so much! These 2 posts may help. Women tend to show more of the emotional characteristics first before the inattention, hyperactivity etc. So, often providers move towards a mood disorder diagnosis first. https://mythrivecollective.com/adhd-in-girls-and-women/ and https://mythrivecollective.com/the-different-faces-of-adhd/

Do you have any recommendations for an adult woman trying to find a doctor experienced in diagnosing autism in adults? My wife and I just don't know what to look for

usually people list specialties on their websites. What state are you in? I can see people in these states: https://psypact.org/mpage/psypactmap

Hi! I have ADHD (late diagnosis) and what the diagnosing doctor called “a whisper of autism” (family history and some other factors).

Two questions: 1) is it helpful to tell my workplace about these issues? What accommodations could be reasonable but wouldn’t immediately occur to someone? 2) I have an issue with future thinking (hamster wheel) and can’t sleep. Especially when under stress or change. How do I better deal with those things?

1) yes - accommodations such as body doubling, extended time, large projects broken into smaller time sensitive chunks, help with prioritizing and sequencing, a mentor or someone for accountability - to name a few.

2) Keep a notebook by your bed. Dump the thoughts on the paper and say out lod" it's here on the page. I can stop thinking about it and I can sleep" . It may take a few tries but once your neurological system takes in the fact that it's "handled" it won't keep reminding you.

The writing the thoughts down thing definitely works. I use my phone notes app and it has done wonders for me, even if the notes seem incomprehensible the next day, it's like I tidied up my brain enough for it to shut up and let me sleep!

As a woman with late diagnosed AuDHD, do you have any specific advice for me in dealing with the combo of that and me now being perimenopausal?

Exactly ( about writing things down) Perimenopause is rough without the additional dx. In this case, I would talk to your gyn or primary care about meds, and definitely add a lot of yoga and body-based interventions daily. Most of all, please be compassionate and understanding of your needs and limits during this time :-)

Im a recently diagnosed adult autistic woman thing, and have a lot of trouble explaining it to family members who feel it doesnt impact me much. Have you seen any explanations or easy to digest materials for people who may not understand my new drive to set boundaries for my health?

This would be a great place to start: https://therapyforpetpeople.com/blog/im-autistic-now-what

I've only been diagnosed with ADHD about a year ago, and I'm in my 30s. I tried to go on Vyvanse without any perceptible results.

What should I expect from a medication? I'm not sure what I should even look for and I wonder if my expectations were too high. I felt no different on a lower dosage and by upping the dose it just made me feel jittery. Many people have claimed finding the right meds and dosage was like 'flipping a switch' but I did not notice a change, personally. (Although perhaps I was expecting miracles in the executive function department and did not get that) I'm hoping to try a different medication but I am without a doctor so all of that is on hold.

As an aside, are walk-in doctors allowed to change my medications? (I'm Canadian if that makes a difference)

Can you recommend resources, generally in the form of books, in helping learn and strategize for ADHD in adult women? I have a couple books already but would love to hear about more.

Meds: Sometimes, it takes more than 1 trial to find the right match. You should notice the ability to start and stop tasks to be easier. That's one of the first things my clients tell me - that they don't get stuck as much. I am in the US and can't advise on the Canadian system, sorry. Pills don't build skills, though. You may have things to learn and unlearn.

Books: Queen of Distraction is a great place to start!

Not the OP, but I got my ADD diagnosis late last year after asking for a second opinion and was pretty lucky with my first medication showing good results (methylphenidate, but bear in mind what works for someone is a very individual thing - biology is weird).

I'd probably not describe it much like as if a flip has been switched, but rather that I'm having an easier time staying focused on tasks when I need to, am generally less tired during the day and find it easier to summon the energy to do boring tasks. It hasn't solved my life's problems, as I still struggle with them, but it is easier and noticeably so.

I think the right expectation to have when you find something that works for you is things being just a bit easier in the day-to-day. It may not sound like a lot, but it does make a comparative world of difference!

Thank you for your perspective!! I've been heavily struggling with executive dysfunction (Especially when it comes to initiating tasks I do not enjoy, and sometimes doing things I enjoy. Motivation is LOW) and was hoping medication would help me get my butt into gear at least a little bit easier? But while on the meds I kept trying to will myself to get moving and struggled just as badly as before. I keep thinking maybe I wasn't paying attention properly and to give the meds another go, but the higher dosage make me feel like I was made out of bees.... I did not feel nice at all so I'm not keen to take more. (Of that particular drug and dosage, I'm willing to try other meds!)

I need a doctor but alas there are none in my area taking patients so I'm at a bit of a stand still :( I will keep trying though. Thanks again!

It sounds simple but try coting down from 5 to 1 then act on the smallest part of the task, then the next. Example: Instead of "get out of bed", you start with sitting up, standing up etc. It will move forward pretty fast!

Could you please recommend some books about autism?

https://g.co/kgs/WxzTCf and https://neurodivergentinsights.com/

Hi! Is there any benefit to seeking an autism diagnosis when you already have an ADHD diagnosis? Does treatment vary significantly?

Some medications work better with one diagnosis vs the other. In addition to that, you might need different regulation strategies. My clients have described it as the ADHD makes their brains move fast and the Autism slows down the processing. So, different regulation strategies are needed in your toolkit.

How would you suggest asking your doctor to be tested for Autism? That might sound odd, but I have difficulty naming and describing my emotions. Sometimes I don’t understand them and other times I’m fearful of being perceived as dramatic. I worry about asking my doctor for help, her asking why I think I need it, then closing off because I get too overwhelmed not being able to explain how I feel. Thank you.

I notice that I have "difficulty naming and describing my emotions. Sometimes I don’t understand them and other times I’m fearful of being perceived as dramatic". Some other concerns I have are about my responses to (sensory, social etc.). I am finding that they are getting in the way of me accomplishing some of my goals and I would like to get an evaluation to find out what's going on. I would fill in with examples from your life. I would ask for an evaluation without jumping ahead to an autism evaluation. The clinician will work with you to narrow it down. Good luck!

... only in the last year have i started to understand how my day to day is impacted by my diagnosis and not consider it a fault. After 20 years of dealing with this, I still have a hard time not believing my inability to "succeed" is my fault. No matter how much progress is made, I'll still come to a point where it all falls apart. As in, spent maybe 20 years denying (or ignoring) the diagnosis, rather than embracing it. I've established a toolkit, gone through lots of meds, CBT, self medication, etc. And most recently, tried to get my drinking under control- only to realize how much alcohol was masking inattentive symptoms.

So much societal pressure to mask, even for NT females, seems to really hide the prevalence of ADHD or ND women. At the same time, I'm almost exclusively surrounded by them in my social network.

What advice do you have for women (who do or don't have a late diagnosis) in creating space to forgive themselves? How can we unconsciously stop revolting against our own diagnosis?

If that question is too abstract; I have a back up! What are your feelings on the Adderall shortage and the FDA's decision not to increase production?

What advice do you have for women (who do or don't have a late diagnosis) in creating space to forgive themselves? How can we unconsciously stop revolting against our own diagnosis?

If you don't forgive yourself, what does that get you? If you do forgive yourself, what do you get? Think about the answers to these and it will give you some insight about why you are holding yourself (possibly unfairly) accountable.

I have both autism and ADHD. I was diagnosed at five wit ADHD, but not until 18 with autism.

What can we do about making the workplace more accessible for women like me?

Great question! The workplace is full of demands to read and understand body language and subtext, among other things. Add to that, the pressure of being evaluated or judged for your professional effort. It's important to advocate for your needs (sensory reduction, flex hours, transparency about why you may say no to outings/social events) without it impacting your performance review. that's a start!

My friend tried this and was told they pay her to perform a job, aren't a charity, and aren't there to coddle her. If she can't perform the work, she should find another job. How does one navigate through a hostile work environment like that?

The ADA lists rights for different disabilities, She may need some advocacy help.

Thank you! When should I tell my employer, when I'm being onboarded?

That's one option or you have the right to disclose to your immediate supervisor only. It's your choice. I would do it on a "need to know" basis.

Can you provide any tips on finding a specialist to get an autism diagnosis? So many places don't seem to be accepting new patients/clients right now

Which part of the country are you in? Which state?

Looking for the same, in Oregon !

edit: spelling

https://www.oregonautismevaluations.com/

Utah suggestions would be great too!

I can see clients in these states:https://psypact.org/mpage/psypactmap

Do you have any recommendations in South FL (not Miami)?

I can see clients in these states:https://psypact.org/mpage/psypactmap

What about the state of Texas for adult diagnosis?

https://therapyforpetpeople.com/ Christine is amazing. I would send my family to her. Tell her I sent you!

I can see clients in these states:https://psypact.org/mpage/psypactmap

Any options for Nevada?

I can see clients in these states:https://psypact.org/mpage/psypactmap

https://www.nvneurodevelopmental.com/ and https://thenevadacenternd.com/

Sorry to bug. N. Florida doctors by any chance?

I can see clients in these states:https://psypact.org/mpage/psypactmap

Desperately searching for northwest Florida ADHD knowledgeable therapists

I can see clients in these states:https://psypact.org/mpage/psypactmap

I'll DM you, if that's okay

Oh, actually, I guess I can't do that

Dr. Toni Hickman in DE is someone I trust very much. She may be able to help you find someone more local to you.

Kansas please?

I can see clients in these states:https://psypact.org/mpage/psypactmap

I’m late 😩 I just found this AMA. You said you may check back, if so I have several questions!

43/F just diagnosed with ADHD-C in November. I was diagnosed with BPD at 14 but knew that wasn’t right. Suffered through 4 years of lithium etc and stopped when I turned 18. I’m smart, have 2 college degrees, same job (multiple promotions) over 18 years. Both parents are educators and I’m an only child, so academic and career success was an expectation I could not avoid. I have very few outward signs of ADHD, but they are raging internally. Here are my thoughts/questions:

1) I’ve been referred to as “stoic” my entire life. The only emotion I can outwardly display with ease is anger. Very recently (like, last week) I learned about RSD. I have this written all over me. Is it typical to have these angry/frustrated reactions so easily while feeing somewhat numb and closed down to most other emotions?

2) in learning about RSD last week, I finally hit the grief stage of my diagnosis, full force. Looking back on 43 years of damage done to myself and others, including a serious suicide attempt in my teens, was just too much. How different my entire life could have been if we had known what it was…I had thought everyone experiences these feelings with this much intensity. What do you recommend for supplemental counseling to help with the grief stage? Any particular type of therapist or counselor? Las Vegas area.

3) is there a difference between the perfectionism/hyper focus on details often seen in ADHD, and “ADHD induced OCD”? That’s part of my official diagnoses, not sure if they are the same.

4) (big one for me) speaking of “how different could things have been”: I had my first migraine at 8 and was diagnosed with chronic migraine at 14. I typically had 15-18 migraines per month, and we tried every medication and other treatment available. Since starting (generic) adderall in November, I have had 4 migraines, total. My PMHNP tells me this is something she looks for in migraine patients, she often sees significant decreases in migraines once meds are started. Is there research on this out there you could direct me to? Is this something you see in your practice?

Thank you for talking the time to do this!

I’ve been referred to as “stoic” my entire life. The only emotion I can outwardly display with ease is anger. Very recently (like, last week) I learned about RSD. I have this written all over me. Is it typical to have these angry/frustrated reactions so easily while feeing somewhat numb and closed down to most other emotions?

Yes! Here's a blog post I wrote about it: https://mythrivecollective.com/the-different-faces-of-adhd/

in learning about RSD last week, I finally hit the grief stage of my diagnosis, full force. Looking back on 43 years of damage done to myself and others, including a serious suicide attempt in my teens, was just too much. How different my entire life could have been if we had known what it was…I had thought everyone experiences these feelings with this much intensity. What do you recommend for supplemental counseling to help with the grief stage? Any particular type of therapist or counselor? Las Vegas area.

I would look into a therapist with expertise in DBT.

is there a difference between the perfectionism/hyper focus on details often seen in ADHD, and “ADHD induced OCD”? That’s part of my official diagnoses, not sure if they are the same.

I replied to a similar question earlier. They are differnt in purpose. The OCD related behaviors are intended to reduce anxiety whilenthe ADHD hyperfocus n details are usually a source of pleasure but the cost is missing the "big picture".

(big one for me) speaking of “how different could things have been”: I had my first migraine at 8 and was diagnosed with chronic migraine at 14. I typically had 15-18 migraines per month, and we tried every medication and other treatment available. Since starting (generic) adderall in November, I have had 4 migraines, total. My PMHNP tells me this is something she looks for in migraine patients, she often sees significant decreases in migraines once meds are started. Is there research on this out there you could direct me to? Is this something you see in your practice?

Sorry - it's out of my scope of practice to discuss meds. I have not heard about the migraine connection with any consistency in my years of practice.

I’ve seen recently that, following the DSM5 strictly, women with Autism must also be diagnosed with at least inattentive ADHD. Because part of the diagnostic criteria for autism also covers all of inattentive ADHD. Even if they wouldn’t be helped with typical ADHD meds, because the inattentiveness is coming from a different source.

How would you go about trying to stratify or isolate the two diagnoses, to hopefully avoid misdiagnosis?

There are tests and measures that a licensed psychologist has access to that I would include in your evaluation. We are required to look for a convergence of data to support and rule out different diagnoses. This is why diagnoses from the internet are flawed :-)

I keep getting told by people that I'm autistic. It's not everyone, but a handful. Would there be something in it if I've been told it multiple times? I think I'm sensitive to things like noise, heat, crowds, but couldn't that just be sensitivity? I did always get in trouble at school for being the class clown, but that doesn't seem compatible with autism? Once on a school trip, my teacher made me hold yer hand because she said I couldn't be trusted to behave - absolutely mortifyingly embarrassing for a 12 year old girl, lol.

I did see a neuropsychologist who did a load of tests (unrelated to autism - I had high intracranial pressure) and they found weakness in executive function, but it got dismissed by another neurologist who said it was just anxiety (no matter how much I told him I was anxious because of the feelings I had, and not having the feelings because of anxiety - very annoying).

I'm 43 now. I feel if I did get a diagnosis, it could explain things like poor work performance, but at the same time, I'd feel lik it was just an excuse. Also, I don't want to be autistic because people think you're lesser than them.

I work with autistic people every day and they are certainly not lesser than me. I admire their bravery and hard work in a world that is not (yet) neurodiversity friendly. If not autism, then there's some thing going on since at least age 12 that you've been carrying. Might be good to work through that, regardless of diagnosis. And yes, acting out in different ways (funny, dramatic, aggressive) can definitely fit a diagnosis of autism. It's not the only thing though. There are many factors to consider. I just started working with a new client who got a late diagnosis (late 40s) and together, we could reframe a lot of difficult past experiences. Ultimately if you do take next steps and actually get a diagnosis, it would be up to you to disclose it anyway. Best wishes to you.

Someone I knew recently got diagnosed with Autism as an adult and felt very negatively about the diagnosis. What do you feel is best that I can do to support them through this shock and let them know that it is something okay and that their diagnosis isn't a bad thing / that they are still the same person they always were?

I agree with your approach and intention. But the person has to go through their own sequence of shock, disbelief, rejection etc, before possible acceptance. As a friend, you can stay the course and be ready :-)

UPDATE: Tech issues - sorry for the delay.
I had done an AMA in October of 2022 about autism and ADHD in adults. This time I wanted to narrow the focus more specifically for women because there are big differences across gender that affect diagnosis.
I'll be here until 2pm CT today and then I'll check back over the next several days to answer any comments or questions that may come up.

Thanks for doing this! I'm a woman in my 30s with ADHD that was not officially diagnosed until my early 20's. (I suspected I had it for longer but my parents didn't think ADHD was a "thing" and blamed it on laziness.)

I recently started therapy for something unrelated and my therapist strongly believes I may be autistic as well. I had never really considered this at all due to the (mainly male) stereotype of autistic people rocking back and forth and obsessing about trains or something that I couldn't really relate to. I am also pretty "high functioning", have a master's degree, work a demanding job, can socialize and make eye contact, etc so it never occurred to me I might be autistic. However, when I looked at some resources about autism in women specifically it was a LOT more relatable (especially the videos by YoSamdySam) although not 100%.

I think the biggest source of confusion for me is that a lot of the symptoms absolutely applied to me when I was younger--I remember finding social situations completely overwhelming and I definitely got made fun of for being "weird". I distinctively remember trying to mimic people's mannerisms, both physical and verbal, to appear more "normal" and I was low-key suicidal from ages 11-20 because I just felt so awkward and out of place everywhere.

Nowadays I barely struggle with social interactions at all (although to be fair I have sort of engineered my life to largely avoid uncomfortable/annoying social situations to begin with) and when I told one of my friends I might be autistic she was shocked and thought that was crazy talk because I apparently don't come across that way at all.

My question (I apologize for this wall of text)...am I actually autistic, and just got so good at "masking" that it's second nature? Or was I just an awkward kid that grew out of her awkwardness and social anxiety? I am struggling to tell the differnce.

Thanks for doing this AMA!

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. There is much more to an autism diagnosis than social awkwardness. And, yes, many people learn to mask or truly learn the skills to just fine in general social settings. In a formal evaluation, I would ask more about your developmental history and listen for some other key indicators. It's easy to say yes you have such and such diagnosis. The harder and more important responsibility for a clinician is to rule out other reasons, causes and contributors.

​

"I am also pretty "high functioning", have a master's degree, work a demanding job, can socialize and make eye contact" - These can co-exist with an autism diagnosis but it doesn't confirm a diagnosis. To answer your core question you would need a detailed conversation with a skilled clinician.

Thanks so much for your answer! A part of me really wants to get formally evaluated for autism because I think certain aspects of it would realllly explain my childhood and family dynamics growing up. But I know it is a time consuming and expensive process to get a formal diagnosis so that's definitely been holding me back.

I appreciate the attention you're giving to women with autism/adhd specifically--I feel like with both conditions the stereotypical male presentation is what dominates the conversation and girls/women can slip through the cracks because our symptoms can present so differently! For ADHD especially I was never the hyperactive disruptive little boy bouncing off the walls and shouting over the teacher in class...I was the quiet girl who was socially awkward and did well enough academically despite suffering from poor organizational skills and lots of missed homework. I think getting diagnosed earlier would have saved me a lot of grief in my teenage years.

Thanks again for doing this AMA!

100% this is exactly why I wanted to spend time doing this AMA and responding to comments. Not everyone can or wants to complete a formal evaluation but the resources should be for everyone.

Are there any resources/studies on adhd/asd diagnosis in young girls? I have adhd, (40M), partner is asd at a minor amount; Our 6 yo daughter was diagnosed at 3 as being on the spectrum but everyone we speak to beyond the one meeting with paediatric socialist agree she’s got adhd traits not autism but I’ve heard diagnosis of adhd (and asd) in girls seems to be lagging behind cos symptoms are different in girls, and medical world has that wonderfully stupid way of only seeing things in males.

Please take a look at these resources: https://mythrivecollective.com/blog/

1. How do you respond when people describe executive dysfunction (from ADHD or any other condition) as pure laziness or a lack of discipline?

2. What would you say to encourage an adult female who experiences some symptoms that align with ASD but is too scared to get assessed especially if the person is considered to behave 'normally' in social situations?

3. Do female and male ASD and ADHD present differently mostly because from societal expectations and social norms or is there like a know mechanism that skews one way vs the other?

1. EF skills are the "soft skills" so they are often misunderstood as personality traits. The key differences frrom EF skills and a personality-based behavior are that EF skills are teachable and repeatable and usually the person themselves want to change.

2. I meet people where they are at the start of therapy and don't force a diagnosis on anyone. We can work on skill-building and psychoeducation first.

3. Males and females are socialized differently and have inherently different skills and strengths at different developmental timepoints. If we could go back and do research on males and females evenly right from the start of uncovering a diagnosis or a cluster of characteristics, I bet there would be more consistency among genders. Tony Atwood has great writing on the subject.

I'm autistic and also have inattentive ADHD. Been job hunting for about 4-5 months with no luck. I am always on the fence about whether to disclose or not. Cards are already stacked against me because I'm female and Southeast Asian living in a predominantly white Western country. Also my industry is super competitive. On one hand, disclosing would allow me to get accommodations; on the other hand I may get discriminated against. But if I don't disclose and I face difficulties later on in the job directly caused by neurodivergence, they might get mad at me. How do I navigate this nightmare? When is it a good idea to disclose?

Can you ask for the accommodations first without saying why? There are things that an employer can and can not ask you directly.

What are some things that I can do to support my wife who has undiagnosed ADHD (she is trying to get a diagnosis since she realised) that might make life easier for her?

Learn as much as you can about how it looks in women. Here's 2 blog posts https://mythrivecollective.com/adhd-in-girls-and-women/ and https://mythrivecollective.com/the-different-faces-of-adhd/ and a book: Queen of Distraction for preliminary reading. Clear communication is key and not making the assumption that she's doing a behavior to avoid or get out of something. Love the supportive partner!

I've heard there is growing research about an underlying cause related to sleep apnea. In fact, if I look back at my own life pre-treatment, I think I would have met many criteria for ADHD. 90% of that has gone away since I started treatment. I did not fit the criteria at the time of diagnosis and have since learned that criteria such as body weight and BME are becoming outdated because of a genetic predisposition to sleep apnea more than just body weight or snoring. (That said, high levels of BMI have a strong link to OSA, but the reverse is not necessarily true.)

Have you seen any research like this, or have I gone too deep into my own specific situation? Is sleep apnea testing something you consider for your patients?

Separately, is there any concern about long term effects of the medications used for these issues? Some raise the heart rate and I’ve heard can cause long term issues… this is related to stimulants.

Yes! Sleep apnea and sleep issues in general can affect attention, focus, memory recall and more. I ask about health, diet and sleep regularly. There are a lot of physical issues that can mimic psychiatric ones such as thyroid imbalance.

Hi!

I am certain my wife has one if not both of these disorders and is very high functioning so has never been properly assessed and also is very reluctant to want to be assessed so as not to "waste the doctors time".

I come from a family that has multiple people with ADHD including myself and I'm trying to find ways to support myself and my wife in getting general household tasks done as no matter how hard we both try to stay on top of things we fall very far behind which leads to more overwhelm, embarrassment and inaction. Doom piles all over the place, healthy food in the fridge always goes off because we have great intentions when purchasing the ingredients then completely forget to use them, dishes and clothes all over the place and don't even get started with the gardening as that is a nightmare.

We both over perform in our jobs at work which leads us to being mentally exhausted at the end of each day and putting tasks off even more.

Any tips for a married couple where both are struggling with this?

Step 1: If you can outsource/delegate and get some help to get to a reasonable "baseline" at home, I think that would be calming. If you're going to DIY, then I would set 20 minute timers for a SINGLE task (!) - example - take out all the garbage from one room. Weed from here to here in the garden. Throw out spoiled food. Make sure you stop when the timer goes off. There's the risk of overdoing it and not wanting to go back. Do this daily till your spaces are tamed.

Step 2: Use an app like Todoist (loved by many couples on my caseload). List out all the tasks and their frequencies and assign them to yourself based on personal preference. For example, I wouldn't mind doing dishes but I really don't like vacuuuming etc. Play to each of your strengths.

1. "We both over perform in our jobs at work which leads us to being mentally exhausted at the end of each day and putting tasks off even more." If this is out of balance, then how can you expect yourself to do more with less energy? That is not fair to you. Can you look at your schedules and make some space? Here's a blog post about the myth of waiting for motivation. https://mythrivecollective.com/motivation-isnt-coming/

I struggle with believing whether or not my diagnosis of ADHD is real. I dont show symptoms of hyper activity and I hear people tell me all the time I don’t have it. One psychiatrist told me since I completed a college degree without medication it’s unlikely I have ADHD. It took me 6 years to get an associates. Am I just lazy?

ADHD has at least 3 types, hyperactivity is just one of them. You got the associates degree (congrats!) -to me, that's' the opposite of lazy.

can you do one for men too?

I did a general ADHD and Autism in adults AMA in October 2022 :-)

Hello Dr. Menon and thank you for doing this AMA. I am a woman in her 30s living in India and have been struggling with sensory difficulties from my earliest memories. The more I read about autism and masking in women the more I am convinced this diagnosis would apply to me. But i have not had any clarity from the many visits i paid to psychologists and counsellors here in India. My experience has been that my concerns tend to get dismissed. As a teen i was constantly told I'd grow out of it or to simply ignore it.

Would you be able to recommend any practitioners or institutions in India that might help me gain a better picture of my condition?

Thank you!

Yes, Adarsh Foundation in Kochi would be a great place to ask. I've done trainings there and they know their stuff. You are welcome to message me through the website and let me know where in India you are and I would be happy to try and find more resources for you. www.mythrivecollective.com

What's your favorite Queens of the Stone Age song?

I don't know them but I'll give a listen. lemme finish this AMA first :-)

Why is the first thing an autistic person does when they meet someone is tell them about their autism?

Edit - Asking a question in an AMA and getting downvoted is weird

One reason could be that it reduces the stress of masking and demonstrating neurotypical behaviors and responses. It may be a shortcut way of explaining strengths and differences too.