Comments: 1835 • Responses: 49  • Date: 

Equanim0usM1nd1095 karma

Note: There's a lot I left out due to space.

Like the part where Interpol and the mob chased your family out of your home country and seized your assets illegally?

filipmartinka760 karma

The mob kept sending threats to our house, having sketchy people follow us. The government issued an arrest warrant for my father accusing him of embezzlement and illegally privatizing the spa for his own personal gain. Keep in mind I was a child when this happened so the exact political details were out of the scope of my mental ability.

Basically he was accused of pocketing money that should have gone to the government and/or upkeep for the spa. He was also accused of stealing money from the bank he was running. He was also accused of kidnapping someone, but this was immediately found to be bogus.

He vehemently refuses to talk to me about this topic, but this is what I have gathered. The rest of his resources went to a 10 year legal battle with the state. Around twenty million euro simply went 'missing' when he requested that his accounts be unfrozen. Whether he managed to hide them, or the government did, I do not know.

BeneaththeBellJar294 karma

You're a strong person and I'm glad you are okay or at least as okay as you can be. Were you ever diagnosed with PTSD?

filipmartinka551 karma

I was initially diagnosed with PTSD by some hospital psychiatrist because I flipped out when I was institutionalized for 'observation'. However they later realized that I just hated being locked up against my will with a room full of unstable people (wow, surprising eh?).

My psychiatrist later retracted this diagnosis, saying that it wasn't based on any evidence. My official diagnoses have been ADHD and schizotypal PD with dysthymia (chronic depression).

BeneaththeBellJar158 karma

At 14 and 16 I was also institutionalized against my will so I understand the the flipping out. Every psychiatrist I've seen diagnoses me differently. Bipolar, borderline personality disorder and add. I have an abusive background from my father of course nothing as severe. Are you on meds if you don't mind me asking? I never have followed through with any meds and at most I think I'm prone to depression. Do you believe your diagnosis?

[deleted]298 karma


BeneaththeBellJar67 karma

Where are you living? If I may ask, it seems insane to give you an amphetamine, I could see how those side effects could outweigh the benefit.

[deleted]141 karma


amkingdom94 karma

Hey visit us at /r/ADHD for any advice or if you just want to talk about ADHD or vent. Sorry to hear about how things turned out. I grew up all over Europe as a child before moving back to the states in 2000/2001. I'm not sure but i think i remember hearing something about this in the news or from certain circles. Slovenia was getting pretty bad when I was there and we left 6 monthes prior to our original planned date to move. I have some stories of my own from my time in Europe but nothing like yours. I too have the Major depressive disorder, any advice you can give?

filipmartinka146 karma

Get your Vitamin D levels checked! Supplementing the right amount made a world of difference for me.

ncson52 karma

" Every psychiatrist I've seen diagnoses me differently."

Exactly. Why is this? I've been through dozens of shrinks and everyone has a different diagnoses for what I think is inherited chronic depression. You would think that these doctors would at least get it in the same ballpark once in awhile...

filipmartinka152 karma

Psychiatry is not really a science. Carl Gustav Jung even warned about needless 'labels', because they only prevent effective treatment. I would say either they do not care, do not know or are projecting themselves onto the patient. Basically they are the ones who would benefit most from a psychedelic experience. Once their ego is dissolved at least once, they may be able to see things from a more objective point of view. If your job is to think like other people, but you never have, obviously you will have a hard time doing what you're supposed to do.

admiralrads124 karma

Psychiatry is not really a science.

That's true; it's a medical field. That said, it's based on psychology, a behavioral science. Because the behavior of humans is so complex, it's pretty hard to lay down a solid diagnosis in a lot of cases. In addition, many disorders have overlapping symptoms, and not all symptoms of a disorder will always be present in a person, further compounding the problem. This doesn't mean psychology is useless, it just makes it open to a lot of interpretations.


Jung was a psychoanalyst; a lot of what you further discussed sounds very psychoanalytic in nature. However, I feel I should point out that psychoanalysis is only one school of psychology, and not very widely practiced today because of its pseduoscientific nature.

As far as psychadelics...I'm still curious about them myself. I've heard good things, though. Maybe someday.

But as far as psychologists and psychiatrists, they've all been trained enough to get a degree- a doctoral degree. Most of them are doing the best they can because they care about helping people. I understand that it's hard to trust people when it seems that all they do is throw pills at you or talk to you, but as I said, things aren't exact in psychology. It takes time, patience, and cooperation of both parties.

filipmartinka97 karma

The most important part is finding someone who is actually concerned and dedicated rather than 'just doing their job'. Thankfully I did find someone like that.

As pseudoscientific as psychoanalysis may be, I've found Jung's idea of archetypes and a collective unconscious to be very personally helpful. I would not generalize that to being helpful to everyone though.

SoManyHipstersWHY555 karma

Fast forward to you and your father on his deathbed: he tells you he really did pocket the money, and hands you a slip of paper with locations throughout the world where the leftover millions are

filipmartinka786 karma

That's actually what my brother thinks. My dad refuses to talk to him due to this.

rkstr07273 karma

Is he older or younger? I ask because I'm curious as to how/ why his opinion would differ from yours.

filipmartinka584 karma

He is quite a bit older than me (in his 30s), and he ran away from home at 16. He wasn't really involved with us when all of this happened, but visited on the night of the stabbing incident, advising my dad to have my mom institutionalized.

I'm not sure why he thinks the money is stashed away, might just be because they don't get along well and he wants to instigate.

ashlomi72 karma

Why did he run away

filipmartinka207 karma

I'd rather not talk about my brother's life here, but he didn't have a good relationship with my parents and they didn't approve of his behavior.

KevinUxbridge81 karma

They, your parents, did not approve of his behaviour?

filipmartinka75 karma


Premislaus545 karma

There's always money in the banana stand.

filipmartinka843 karma

You have no fucking clue how much that series reminded me of my family. It freaked me out. Wealthy people really act that insane. If I had to describe my family history as a combination of TV shows and movies, I would say Arrested Development, The Nanny and American Psycho.

OneTimeiSaid424 karma

Are you going to write a book about all of this?

filipmartinka733 karma

Probably. I've been doing a lot of freelance and business copywriting, but whenever I have time I try to work on my own portfolio. I've published two short ebooks online over smashwords, one is a fictional short story and the other one is about using cannabis for the non-recreational purpose of perspective shifting.

I'm currently writing one about how psychedelics in low doses can be used as nootropics for therapeutic purposes, to enhance creativity, and to break down 'calcified' thought patterns.

After I finish that I will most likely continue working on my autobiography.

scottee61141 karma

I think you are very brave, I am interested in non recreational and therapeutic uses of cannabis and psychedelics, hopefully quality substances like these will be made available for us to choose to use where and when we want or need them, and I wouldn't rule out the fun side of them either. You have been able to trust people and form attachments, what has helped you the most to be able to do this? Can you describe the tree thing more? I think that would be an amazing book, I know some wonderful illustrators who use wood cuts and have published small runs of their books on beautiful paper.

filipmartinka255 karma

Thank you.

I think living on my own and my experiences with magic mushrooms definitely helped me understand how to form deeper attachments, and that not everyone is trying to harm me or 'out there to get me'.

Here is the Cannabis Mindset book that I wrote: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/234935

You can preview a certain amount of it for free. It mostly deals with how when we are conditioned by the environment to see something a certain way, voluntarily or involuntarily, we will be looking at it from an inherently skewed perspective. Exploring other states of mind reframes information so you can reevaluate and meta-analyze not only what you are thinking, but HOW you are thinking it.

Hope that clarified it at least a little! I might be interested in some book illustrations in the future, but sadly not very soon.

BeneaththeBellJar85 karma

I loved the description of your book. I definitely believe it helps to reevaluate the world around you and connect with your subconscious. Will definitely have to purchase! I'm very happy for you and how healthy you seem. Many people who have been through far less haven't been able to pick themselves back up. Be proud of yourself and your success. I am.

filipmartinka105 karma

Thank you! This is greatly inspiring and takes care of my writer's block! :)

Marcanadian312 karma

Did you ever see your mom or talk to her after the incident? If so, was she remorseful at all?

[deleted]749 karma


Poopy_Bear104 karma

If she was still alive, do you think you'd still want to murder her with a brick? She was obviously mentally unstable. Do you wish she could have stayed alive, gotten better and been your mother again?

filipmartinka445 karma

Emotionally, she never was my mother. She was an incubator... I'd probably still hate her if she were alive.

I feel more kinship with my step-mother, considering she was my nanny when I was growing up.

sithknight1207 karma

Dude, that is EXACTLY how I feel about my mother. You have no idea how I deeply understand what you're saying and feel identified with how you describe your mother. (The spontaneous crying, a lots of other details). Here's the kicker: she attempted to murder my dad while he slept by smashing him in the head with a hammer. My dad managed to wake up and while losing huge amounts of blood managed to get away from her and lock himself in the bathroom. This was the 80s. No cellphones or Internet or anything. He's a doctor. He knew he couldn't stay in the bathroom for too long without passing out. He got himself together, walked out if the bathroom after a while, grabbed me from my bed (I was 4), and walked out of the house and hailed a cab. To this day, I hate my mother's guts.

filipmartinka203 karma

God damn. Is your dad alright? Bad moms club represent.

teaspoonSC240 karma

You mentioned earlier you 're in a relationship. Is your SO sympathetic of your childhood, or do you try not too bring it up?

filipmartinka522 karma

Yes, she's sympathetic of what happened to me. She helped me withdraw from benzodiazepines (anxiety medication). She posts on reddit and took the photos for this thread. Her childhood was also very screwed up, so she understands my life better than most people could. She's been nothing but supportive. :)

LazarusRises91 karma

Is her story as amazing as yours? Couples IAMA would be adorable (and fascinating).

filipmartinka260 karma

hierocles207 karma

Interpol didn't chase your family out of Slovakia, nor did they steal your assets. It's an organization that coordinates information from one state's police forces to another's. It only has 600-ish employees.

Also, your mother was in with a pretty bad guy. You had a horrible childhood that I wouldn't wish on anybody. Your personal life is pretty interesting, and I wouldn't mind reading about it. But I think your understanding of the politics going on is a bit whitewashed. If you ever do write a book, I hope you consult with an expert in Slovakia's political landscape at that time.

filipmartinka331 karma

I agree. Sorry I should have clarified, the government seized our assets and consulted Interpol to help and capture my father.

And yes my knowledge of this political situation is limited because I was a child when this happened. Thank you for clarifying this.

hannah22192 karma

Who do you live with now? Do you get along with your dad?

filipmartinka576 karma

I live with my girlfriend in a flat in Austria.

I rarely talk to him, but we're not necessarily on bad terms. He's just never been a big part of my life and is constantly busy. If I call him he usually has 5 minutes before he has to do something again. He's a complete workaholic (20 hour days).

I talk with my step-mom a lot over email to see how everyone is doing. My dad recently learned how to use email and keeps sending me weird articles about Einstein being a plagiarist and all that, I assume soon enough he'll move on to funny youtube videos. That's as far as our communication goes, though.

I usually go over and visit them on Christmas though.

Poopy_Bear75 karma

Is your dad back in Slovakia then?

filipmartinka154 karma

Yes, he has a house there. My parents don't speak any English, so they pretty much have to stay there to make a living.

Zapashark45 karma

Do you feel like your stepmom is more of a parental figure than your real mom was? Also, what language is spoken in Slovakia?

filipmartinka118 karma

Yes, she's very supportive and genuinely cared for me even when she was just an employee.

Slovak is spoken in Slovakia, but Czech is readily understood (they are almost the same).

thedeaux56 karma

Has your dad been supporting you financially? Are you trying to live a normal life style, attend university, or just working full time? etc. How did you pick up learning English? I'm assuming you're fluent.

Also. Just wanna say, you're a boss, and I wish I knew you in real life.

filipmartinka179 karma

My dad bought me a really flamboyant homosexual looking t-shirt for my 20th birthday. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community, but to me personally that was a bit insulting. Especially since this was the only gift I received for my 20th birthday, which is an age milestone. They don't support me financially whatsoever.

I learned English by watching Cartoon Network, reading Harry Potter, and chatting on IRC.

FeikoW44 karma

I really want to see that t-shirt now.

filipmartinka111 karma


A nice 'souvenir' from dubai. Yes, that's glitter.

supbros302178 karma

Do you like Austria? what is your favorite restaurant?

sorry, i feel like you could use some softball questions

filipmartinka230 karma

Kebab stands :)

HonziPonzi159 karma

In west Slovakia born and raised...

filipmartinka344 karma

Living entombed in a hotel maze...

groverofl153 karma

So you lived? Are you like Harry Potter or something?

filipmartinka362 karma

I've been called "the boy who lived" before. I don't really know how to feel about that. I've also been called Harry Potter due to my appearance when I wear my roundish glasses. Maybe I am, holy shit.

groverofl109 karma

Shit man, I think you need to go look for owls or something. Great story though, I wish you all the luck in the world.

filipmartinka134 karma

Thanks! One of my elementary school teachers had an owl as a pet. That's as close as I've gotten to an owl though.

benwhohasabunni132 karma

You capitalized "The Nanny" and now I think your dad banged Fran Drescher.

filipmartinka219 karma

That was the joke. The best part about this is that my dad has seen EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of The Nanny in German dubbing.

PCsomo129 karma


filipmartinka239 karma

Duck-sized horses. Their bites are not that horrible when you consider their size. If you break their legs they are almost immediately incapacitated. Ducks can be extremely vicious, so a horse-sized duck would be extremely menacing.

labsolurouge116 karma

Do you think you will ever be able to forgive your mother?

filipmartinka621 karma

As a life-extensionist, no. But I barely think about her.

She was always abusive, and would hit my head against the piano if I played a note wrong. There was no warmth or love there.

I'm really, really glad that she's dead.

Illative95 karma

In your opinion, what do you think was the most traumatic and what the most uplifting event in your life? Why?

filipmartinka387 karma

Most traumatic was not getting stabbed oddly enough, it was the realization that people hated and feared me because of something that HAPPENED to me instead of something I did. Students avoided me, teachers avoided me, schools expelled me. Obviously girls were afraid of me, so I assumed I'd be "foreveralone".

Growing up like that is really screwed up. This is traumatic because as long as people know, it never ends. Schools never kept this quiet, so everyone knew. Add that to my ADHD and you get an extremely difficult path to graduation.

Most uplifting event in my life: Taking magic mushrooms for the first time in my life at age 16. I finally realized that the way I had been brought up was not the only way to see life, and it changed me for the better. I could feel true joy and learned to appreciate knowledge. Ever since I have been very dedicated to reading lots of non-fiction on a range of topics, especially psychology and philosophy. Magic mushrooms and medical marijuana showed me that life is still worth living, and that reality can be beautiful.

likeasoupsandwich178 karma

Not that this even remotely compares, but I completely understand how you feel. I befriended/dated a guy who later went on a shooting rampage at his former university and that led to me being suspended from my university for 6 weeks and threatened by university staff until I committed myself into a mental health unit.

The initial traumatic event definitely sucks, but all the aftermath that follows you into every aspect of your life...that's what really fucks with you.

filipmartinka151 karma

Thank you, I was getting tired of the people claiming that this doesn't ever happen.

AmeteurOpinions73 karma

You mentioned a girlfriend. How did you meet her? How did she react to your tale?

Thank you for the AMA, and I hope your inevitable book is a huge success.

filipmartinka149 karma

We met through a mutual online friend. After six months of chatting online she flew from Canada to visit me in Austria. She knew about my family history. Neither one of us can remember her reaction to the tale, probably because our mutual friend had informed her about it before we even knew each other, so she was always aware. Her family history isn't for the faint of heart, either, so she wasn't that phased by it. This was a pleasant change from how people usually react which ranges from mild discomfort to running for the hills.

We've been together for almost three years, some of that long distance thanks to visa and immigration issues.

FireyFly43 karma

Her family history isn't for the faint of heart, either [...]

I wouldn't mind (either of) you to expand a bit on this (assuming, of course, that you're both fine with it).

filipmartinka67 karma

She posted a thread in /r/hoarding here's the link

[deleted]32 karma


filipmartinka97 karma

Christinabeana is indeed my girlfriend.

Kiddmorbidd67 karma

Wow nothing to say , but glad you're safe. Was your mom involved with Slovak mafia?

[deleted]114 karma


AdeAhmed20 karma

which hockey player?

filipmartinka32 karma

I read this in a tabloid a very long time ago, I don't remember the details because that was the only place I had seen this stated. If I remember I'll get back to you.

Linkiola55 karma

So your family went from riches to rags.. Have you father managed to get some of the money back from the frozen accounts or have he built up a new fortune, or is he just another worker now?

Would you ever move back to slovakia?

filipmartinka119 karma

He's struggling to get back into business because of the stigma now associated with his name. They are currently living on my step-mom's money that she makes as a prominent lawyer. She also writes 'free legal advice' articles for a popular women's magazine in Slovakia.

I'm sure he has some income on his own, but he is working constantly to the point of exhaustion in an attempt to regain status and keep up his standard of living.

No, I will not move back to Slovakia. I am an Austrian citizen and the quality of life is better here.

mitharas54 karma

You mention your brother alot in this AMA, how is your relationship with him?

filipmartinka144 karma

Not bad, we talk often, he runs a company and sends translation work my way from time to time. His wife doesn't like me very much because I criticized her novel, but we're not enemies or anything. I spend more time with him than I do with my dad and step-mom.

nick-greco54 karma


filipmartinka110 karma

When people expect so highly of you, it's impossible not to be a disappointment. Yeah, living with that looming over your head is not fun. I was in elementary school when she said that, so I don't know why she said that. Maybe because I was in a gifted school program and was learning English, she let it get to her head. Perhaps she thought her 'connections' would assure this for me.

I am interested in global events and politics, but not to the point of being directly involved. My brother aptly said this, "in Slovakia its easy to join politics, but not easy to get out."

Poopy_Bear64 karma

Your English is very impressive. Would you say that's because you've been learning it so long or because you put effort into learning it? How many languages do you speak? I'm guessing at least German, English and Slovak. Really, I haven't seen you make a mistake so far this thread, which is more than I can say for many native English speakers.

filipmartinka150 karma

German, English and Slovak. Some perl and some C... :)

I have acquired most of my English skills from IRC and through browsing the Internet. I mostly speak English and people tell me I have a Canadian accent.

bunny_face43 karma

Wow this was like reading a plot for a movie. Are all the past events you went through constantly on your mind these days? What does your typical average day consist of now?

filipmartinka74 karma

I usually try not to deal with my past too much. I generally don't bother with it and don't bring it up, but I thought reddit would think my story was interesting to some degree.

My typical day usually consists of working (writing / translating), spending time with my girlfriend, hanging out with friends, cooking, playing guitar, composing music, biking, and reading non-fiction books.

I'm trilingual (English, German, Slovak), so I use that to my advantage and offer translating services. My copywriting work is usually in English, because that's the language I am most proficient in.

At the moment I'm planning to go buy some books by Slavoj Zizek, because I find his work to be quite interesting.

I compose as a hobby - Piano song

Guitar glitch

and I used to be signed to a record label -

Niceplum on Breakbitmusic

augustus_octavian38 karma

Considering the traumatic experiences you've had with your family, do you consider one day being a parent?

filipmartinka172 karma

No! /r/childfree all the way! I don't feel like passing down adhd and possible schizophrenia risk genes to any offspring. My brother has taken care of the breeding for the 'legacy'. He has three kids.

hwisprian37 karma


filipmartinka75 karma

They never figured out who specifically did it, or even HOW. It might have been my mom for all I know, but I've heard that we received anonymous letters that took credit for it. We also received other letters that said if my dad didn't sell his shares in certain companies, they would cut off my mom's arm.

v1s1onsofjohanna27 karma

Peanut butter: chunky, or creamy?

filipmartinka207 karma


Heliosophist23 karma

I noticed you said you've written about cannabis and have used magic mushrooms. Have you ever had bad trips on drugs because of your childhood/being schizotypal? Have drugs helped you get past these experiences?

filipmartinka50 karma

I've had some REALLY bad trips that were horrifying but they were never related to my childhood specifically. They were all universally enlightening, though.

Cannabis helps my anhedonia and my dysthymia. It's not a way for me to deal with my past, it's a way for me to deal with my symptoms in the present.

Threemor22 karma

Your English is really fantastic. You mentioned your thirst for knowledge. Do you think your willingness to learn helped you through your young years despite being expelled and abandoned? Also, do you have any plans for the future?

filipmartinka63 karma

I learned English by watching Cartoon Network and being forced to read the Harry Potter series out loud, which is probably the only thing my parents did right. This seems a bit ironic in retrospect, but at that time the underlying meaning was lost on me.

Thankfully they also teach English in all European schools. My plan for the future is to publish a lot of books.

mddelisle21 karma

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

What would you say to Nietzsche today?

And what happened to you should not have happened. Nothing like that should happen to a child. Glad to see you have endured. You will be stronger still.

filipmartinka97 karma

My girlfriend bought me a single book compilation of his collected works in original German. I'd tell Nietszche to not write like he was trying to punish his readership. Sentences that span eight full lines? Get a grip, moustachio. As pessimistic as he is, I agree with him that his form of pessimism is empowering.

I don't like that specific phrase though, because it doesn't apply to physical strength. Getting stabbed makes it hard to work out.

hkobb78 karma

This is an absolutely unbelievable story, given the litany of challenges (depression, schizophrenic family member, a prominent father, etc) you faced. What pulled you through the ridiculously difficult childhood (and beyond) you had? What was your "rock", so to speak? Also, you mentioned you don't want to have children; is that for the psychological reasons, or would you consider adopting? Thank you so much for doing this AMA. I hope you find success in your career and life.

filipmartinka51 karma

My rock? Should I be completely honest here? Friends and trees. Also friends with trees, who are friends indeed.

oranthor7 karma

Wow leave it to Reddit to bring all the trolls together at the end, I'll try to break the streak. First my condolences. Second do you think this past has shaped you to be a better person? I know its a very terrible past but its what shaped you to who you are today. That being said if you could change the past, would you? if so what would you change in specific?

filipmartinka31 karma

I'd lock my door on the night I was going to get stabbed.