We are the editors of The Onion and its new book The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge, ask us anything
You’re welcome, Reddit. We are the editors of The Onion, America’s Finest News Source. We will be here answering your questions today beginning at 4:00 Eastern/3:00 Central to celebrate this week’s release of our third original book, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge, a definitive encyclopaedia containing all information known to mankind, such as the details behind the ladycrash of Amelia Earhart’s ladyplane or how CPR is correctly performed. Anything, or anyone, that is not referenced in our sacred tome does not exist.
You are welcome to ask us anything, be it about the book, the vast worldwide Filipino conspiracy wherein Filipinos control the media, our comprehensive election coverage, the book bjorn, or The Onion in general. You are also welcome to compliment us profusely.
Here in our Chicago office today:
Editor Will Tracy — Will was also a staff writer on the The Onion's television series Onion News Network. He was raised in Portland, Oregon and later attended Vassar College in upstate New York. His writing has appeared in The Onion since 2006, and he is a former employee of Vanity Fair magazine.
Head writer Seth Reiss — Seth has written for Boston's The Weekly Dig, McSweeney's, and the former ESPN Classic show Cheap Seats. Seth is also in the sketch comedy group Pangea 3000. He is a graduate of Boston University.
Sports editor Chad Nackers — Chad joined the Onion staff in 1997-ish. A native of Appleton, Wisconsin and a graduate of some college, Chad has performed numerous award-winning tasks such as editing, writing, and cleaning the grisly remains of undocumented workers from the Onion's printing press.
We will split up your questions and answer as many as we can, though please remember that no number of answers you receive from us today will do anything to stop the ever-looming specter of mortality that’ll never stop casting a heavy shadow over your meaningless existence for as long as you may live.
To verify we are real people, a tweet from @TheOnion
UPDATE: Thank you for all of your questions. We tabulated them all and here are the results:
*40% of the questions were bad *18% of the questions were intellectually dishonest, but good *42% of the questions we did not read
Goodnight. TU STULTUS ES, THE ONION