As per a few requests, IAmA 21 year old female who was bottled at the age of 16. Resulting in 70 stitches, half of my face paralyzed and diagnosed with PTSD. Ask me anything. Possibly NSFW (Gore Pictures).

No questions, I just want to say you're gorgeous.

Thanks very much! That means a lot to me :)

One of the most beautiful women I have ever seen was a burn victim I met at a festival. Apparently she pulled a pot of boiling water on herself when she was about 3 and the entire left side of her body was covered with pretty dramatic scarring. However, this scarring didn't detract from her beauty, it intensified and brought attention to how lovely the rest of her face is. I know this sounds pretty odd, but a lot of other people I met that day kept asking if I had seen the "beautiful girl with the awesome scars."

I don't think it matters much whether or not you have physical scars, it's how you wear them.

What an inspiring story, that made me very happy to read. obviously not the fact that she burned herself, but that people can truly see past scars and appreciate someone for being themselves and not judge them solely on something that has happened to them. thank you for your comment!

aaron was right, you are beautiful.

Thank you!

I'm not sure if you will appreciate a bunch of anonymous people telling you this but i second this - you are gorgeous.

Do you try and hide the story/scarring when you met new people or do you feel obliged to get the story off your chest as quickly as possible?

Honestly it means a lot to me that people will take the time out of their day to make a stranger feel better. So thanks a lot! The first three years after I would NEVER wear my hair up. This was mainly because I did once and a stranger came up to me and said "OH MY GOD, you have a HUGE scar on your face!!!" I was absolutely shocked and upset someone would bring it up while I was working. Lately though I'm less shy to wear my hair up and I'm happy about that! I've made a lot of progress within the last year about not being as insecure. As for telling people, I don't ever bring it up unless they notice and ask. Or if I see a girl upset wanting to fight someone because they found out their boyfriend had cheated. Then I get all emotional and tell them it's absolutely not worth it! I'll tell my story and they always end up thanking me. I've surprisingly talked a few people out of fighting. One decision in life to fight is not worth your complete life being turned around!!

Always been a lover not a fighter - your story will stay with me and reinforce my that belief - thanks for taking the time to post it.

words to live by!! Im glad you have that mind set. that is mine completely!

"OH MY GOD, you have a HUGE scar on your face!!!"

First I would...

Then I would...

hahaha, I wanted to believe me! I was working at the time though so I just had to suck it up and smile.

The scars look awesome, IMO. I wouldn't try to hide them.

thank you! I am hiding it less and less

Believe me, the older you get those scars will actually be considered more and more attractive. You got lucky (in only this sense) that it didn't permanently deform a part of your face.

Yes, I am very lucky that they have such amazing advances in technology today! and such amazing doctors!

What happened to the girl as far as legal matters go?

Originally she was charged with aggravated assault causing disfigurement (which is one step below attempted murder). Since she was underage and this was her first offence she ended up getting charged with assault. Which occurs when you hit someone. I was pretty choked, and still am. For what I went through she walked away with a slap on the wrist. She also had 20 months probation (from drinking/being around alcohol/weapons) and I had a 20 month restraining order on her. She didn't follow either considering if I saw her she would tend to not leave- I would because I couldn't handle seeing her. Thanks for your question!

THIS PISSES ME OFF. What a stupid little cunt.

I've been upset the last few years of my life too!

For what it's worth, you look very pretty. And i mean that in a totally none-stalkerish way.

thank you!

I'm saying it in a stalkerish way.

hahah

Dude, if you have a restraining order against someone and they don't leave, you call the cops. That's what they're for.

I did, cops one time said they couldn't do anything. and another time she got arrested!

Throw the book at her, every time she comes near you. From what I understand most places if she breaks the restraining order repeatedly she gets a new charge on top of it.

she should have but the cops let her go even after they arrested her :(

I'd totally put a batman suit on and then a driver jacket on top of that and stomp her face in for you

lol

Where are you from? I ask because I know someone who has a restraining order against her father. She noticed one day that he was following her while she was driving home so she pulled into a parking lot to call the cops. They immediately came to arrest him, but he had already driven off. I just can't imagine the police saying they can't do anything when someone violates a restraining order.

Canada! I guess it wasn't taken as seriously because it was a big event (I have no idea why not) I ended up leaving anyways. Did cause me to break down for the next few days though. Im glad that the cops took your restraining order so serious. Its good to know some care!!

You mentioned that she had been planning this long in advance, and had told others. Did they take into account her (extreme) pre-meditation?

Not long in advance, she told people the night of the party that if anything happened tonight she was definitely going to bottle me. The people who she told unfortunately were closer to her and would not testify. They did however have to prove 50% that is was her who did it, and at least 1% that it was premeditated, the first 50% was easy, the last 50% was proven through court.

thanks for commenting :)

Did she at least show any remorse?

No none, and that is what upset me the most. I heard she laughed about it afterwards which makes me feel sick :(

Given what you said about your jugular she could have been up for murder. You'd think someone might have tried a little harder to convey that message... Still congrats on your progress.

The crown didn't take a lot of the information I gave her.. It was disappointing.

If it helps you... get... a badass scar? I don't know.

Just tryin' to cheer ya up.

I hope you know you have strong condolences of a lot of people here (myself included).

And that I now have a strong urge to apprehend any motherfuckers who'll fight like that.

thank you so much! I appreciate it a lot, seeing all these comments really does help me. Im glad I did this IAmA

Not trying to be a dick, because obviously you didn't (and no one does) deserve what happened to you; it was really really fucked up.

With that being said, another consideration for the court (I'm assuming it was a bench trial rather than a jury trial, if it even went to trial; IE if she got diversion, that's essentially a plea, and it would not have gone to an actual trial) is that YOU started the altercation.

If this girl had hit you unprovoked she would have likely gotten MUCH MUCH MUCH more fucked. So... in essence, that sucks

yes it is unfortunate how it went down, She did get a plea bargain..

It's unfortunate that you were injured. That should never have happened. It's not unfortunate that she only got assault charges.

Again, not that you deserved it, but it would have been a failure of the legal system to follow through with an aggravated assault charge.

You started the fight, and she bottled you; still assault, but you were undoubtedly a decisive factor in creating the situation.

She was 16; as much as people here want to say, "charge her as an adult and charge the most serious offense!" That's just not how our legal system works, and it shouldn't be.

Glad you're doing better! I would wager that with continuing therapy, in a couple years you will be able to consider this entirely behind you.

I do agree with you she was underage and it was her first offence- plus me starting it just adds to her defence. I do still believe she was let off quite easily. especially considering she did not even follow the probation/restraining order rules.

I kinda agree with this guy. She had been planning on it, but you making the first move allows for her to claim self-defense, really. I know that you weren't exactly thinkin clearly, so I won't harp on you, but had she thrown the first punch, she would have been fucked.

yes if she has started it it would have been a lot worse for her.

so no civil suit?

It is kind of in the process right now. I can go ahead but only if i decide its worth it. Sorry, thats something i can't elaborate on as much since its not finished in court :(

That's so surprising since it seems like it was premeditated that she would bottle you. I'm sorry that you got screwed over like that. I'm very surprised and sorry you had to suffer through that.

I know, legal system is completely messed up though!! I lost all faith in it. which is very sad..

Clearly you are concerned about your appearance, but remember this:

Everyone has something that they dislike about their appearance. Everyone.

For one person, it will be their acne. For another, their big nose. For you, it happens to be your scar.

You still have physical issues with it, and I'm sure they will get better with time, but from the point of view of appearances, you can just remember that this is your "thing", and you're still beautiful.

Thank you so much, I've never really viewed it that way- and having new views is always awesome for me. I try to stay positive and move forward, and I think having that outlook on my scar will help! I appreciate you taking the time to type something so kind out/meaningful, it means a lot to me.

I bet some time in your future, someone will love that scar on your face as it makes you - you. And ever time they see it, or someone with a similar scar, it will remind them of you and how much they love you. My sister has a scar on her face and every time I see a similar one on someone, I'm reminded of her and it makes me smile.

Own it! Don't try and hide it any more.

Oh, and thanks for sharing your story!

Thanks a lot, I will try and keep that in mind, I am truly getting so many insightful ways of looking at this. Its refreshing to hear there is positive outlooks on scars and how people really can embrace them :)

To quote one Tyrion Lannister: "never forget who you are for surely the world will not. make it your strength and it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."

Great quote, thank you for sharing! It hits close to my heart for sure. I am trying to make it turn me into a stronger better person :)

Just so you know, I think it gives you character. Because you're a badass for surviving that shit.

Thank you very much!

Girl, you look fine. Dayum.

Either way.. can you touch a little on the facial paralysis aspect of things? Is half your face just relaxed or the opposite? Can you blink? Do you smile with half your mouth?? Do you have tactile sensation in that area?

As far as the scar.. nobody who matters would ever care. My wife got a chunk of skin/meat cut out of her arm due to a potentially unhappy mole, and now she's got a 5 inch thick scar around her elbow going up. She used to be really self-conscious about it, until I drilled it in her head that she's beautiful and I love her just the same. One time, at a party, one of those people with little common sense brought it up and made a big deal about it loud enough for all to hear, only for me to jump in and come up with an elaborate, insane, half plausible, wtf story that explained it. She really got a kick out it, so now, every time anybody brings it/points it out, I make up some awesome BS story about it.

So far, I have attributed her scar to:

• Defending me from two crazy, murderous knife wielding bitches at a bus stop
• Trapping an adult jaguar with her bare hands that had escaped from the zoo during one of our vacations to central America
• Pulling orphaned children from a burning building
• Her meeting Madonna backstage at a concert, and being so impressed with my wife's beauty, she paid her an insane amount of money to donate a skin graft for her vaginoplasty.
• NASA needed the perfect human DNA sample to load up on a probe, alongside other samples from earth to send out into space in hopes that an alien civilization would find it.

You get the point. *

The facial Paralysis is actually quite interesting. When it happened, my low eye lid, nostril, and upper lip were incapable of moving at all. So I would wake up with my left eye completely crusted shut. It was so disturbing and an instant reminder from the second I woke up as to what I was going through. I also could not feel my face at all, I would run my fingers across my cheek and feel nothing. very odd sensation on the fingers.

As of now I have about 95% feeling back, my upper lip does not lift all the way though and that is why for the most part I do not smile during pictures, although most people say it isn't obvious at all I tend to notice it a ton. The doctors went into my face and reconnected the branches of nerves that were cut, this process to fully heal took about a year and half to two years. When I say fully heal I mean getting about 90% of the movement in my face back, which is amazing considering I had none.

As for those stories- brilliant. I will have to make some up about myself!! Too funny. I'm glad to hear there is people who accept scars and make you feel comfortable with them! You are an amazing husband!

Thanks for taking the time to reply and ask a question :)

In regards to your smile, I think you should flaunt it. Own it. Make it your smile. I have an older sister who has a "messed up smile" (i.e. her bottom lip does not move on her right side). Being the good brother I am, I teased her about it. She was insecure about it when we were younger, but she came to the realization that to get me to stop teasing her was to just do it anyways and ignore me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that from what I can tell, you are very pretty and you should flaunt your smile... make it yours... =)

Thank you for your comment! I try harder everyday to embrace my smile as well as my scar, I am fully confident that one day i will own it like your sister and have my confidence al the way back. Wow i've never said that before- i seriously think making the thread is helping me move forward.

I bet your smile is just fine! I hope one day soon you can heal enough to smile and be proud of how far you've come and not worry about what other people may or may not notice. I'd wager no one would even notice if you had smiled in a picture if you hadn't already mentioned it. You're a pretty girl.

That is definitely something i strive for. I want to overcome this completely and move forward with my life, embrace it and make the best out of it. No one does really notice it, its more so just me. Thanks for taking the time to comment :)

Why do girls blame girls for cheating? Is this one of those primitive things humans have?

Its retarded. Clearly the guy is to blame. I was 16 and dumb. head over heels "in love" in my eyes he could do no wrong. Boy was I blind.

Ah teenagers. We were all so irrational but so confident in our adult behaviour and false rationality. =)

Yup pretty much dead on. One bad choice can change you life in an instant.

To anyone saying I deserved what I got (in advance because there are always trolls), I would have deserved to get punched in the face a few time, not my throat slit, being pronounced dead, and everything I went through afterwards.

I hate to be that guy, but I have to speak up here. You and everyone else need to understand something about being in a fight - there is no fairness. If you make the conscious decision to attack someone, you had best be ready for whatever comes back because it could be anything from a punch to a bullet. I am a 22 year old male at 5'6 and 125-135lbs. Im a small person and luckily very mild mannered - its kept me out of fights and Im happy to say I've never had a real physical altercation with another person. That being said, I've taken my fair share of martial arts and self-defence classes because I know its matter of time and should I find myself in a fight I dont plan on being "fair" about it because my goal is to survive the encounter.

One message my instructors always gave was "If you plan to start a fight with someone, accept the fact that you could be attacking someone like me. Think about what that means for you." So while it can be argued that what you received was excessive, you've nothing to stand on while proclaiming you "didn't deserve" what came back at you.

Im happy you are okay and you recovered so well, but please keep in mind what it means to attack another person. You're a good looking person don't risk losing that again.

EDIT: I DIDN'T SAY SHE DESERVED TO GET HIT WITH A GLASS BOTTLE, PLEASE ADVISE.

16, young, dumb and "in love" never again. I learnt so much from that night and I've stopped multiple fights from occurring now.

What the fuck is bottling?

Where someone hits you with an empty glass beer bottle in the attempt to cut/damage or inflict harm I guess.. Hope that clears it up a bit!

Wow, crazy how a glass bottle could so much damage. So how did this effect your schooling? Did your family decide to move after this incident? How much were medical costs?

Stray strong and be safe.

It is very scary how much damage one bottle can do.. My schooling afterwards in high school was affected negatively. But I still made it into University, and now my grades are very well. From this incident I really realized that she took away my looks and self confidence (for the time being) but she did not take away my brain/the chance to become the person I want to become. With that being said Ive tried very hard in school and never let it affect my grades come University. My parents still live in the small town. We had a ton of support from the community, that being said there was also some negative rude people. But thats always expected. My PTSD is the most severe when I go home, so its hard but I still go back to see my parents because I know how much they appreciate it. I have been doing a lot better from my counselling sessions, and have made good progress. I am so thankful I am starting to move forward. As for medical costs- I live in Canada so it was all free (Thank goodness). I love our health care system! All it cost us was traveling expenses to the cities for surgery, Food bills for the day, and our wages from work lost by taking the day off. She was forced to pay 1500$ back to me and my family (Half of what we calculated the costs to be) over the course of a year and a half.

Edit- Spelling

Jeez. In the USA, half of the medical costs for something like that would cause just about anyone to go bankrupt.

absolutely it would. I am very grateful for Canadas health care system!

I really respect you for going through what you have and being able to talk so openly about it on here with thousands of strangers. One question, have you ever heard if the girl feels bad or remorseful? What about your ex-boyfriend? Just curious, you never have to answer anything you don't want to :)

The one thing that I think has affected me the most of this situation is how little remorse she showed. I didn't get an apology, or anything. Thats one thing that really really bothers me. All I've heard is her laughing about it to people saying how awesome it was :( Which makes me feel sick. I guess you can't always trust what people say, but not hearing a sorry from her personally kind of reinforces the idea that she isn't sorry. As for my ex, I have no idea.. I'm sure he's on the same page as her still and thinks its funny/awesome. Wouldn't surprise me.
Thanks for asking questions!!

Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that :( It's amazing how desensitized people are these days, it's a sad world sometimes. Well that just shows you that it's a good thing it didn't work out with such a jerk because he didn't deserve somebody as beautiful and dedicated to life as you. And the girl...well she can just screw off ;)

I agree completely, it scares me to think had this not happened I might still be with him. I like to think I would be smarter than that but you never know!! I am thrilled it ended between us, took awhile to realize he was the worst choice of my life!

Sounds as if she's really a psychopath. After all she almost killed you! Gives me chilly feeling we might hear about here again, sooner or later..

Lets hope not! I never want anyone to deal with that. But at the same time.. there is so many crazy people out there. Its bound to happen.

I'm an engineer in the navy and everyday at work I worry about facial/bodily trauma. I deal with rotating machinery, explosive/flammable liquids, oily decks, steam, high pressure air, unsure footing and a ship that's always rocking and rolling. I know lots of people who have been injured in my trade and I'm always wondering when my day will come, so it's nice to see how nicely you've recovered from your injuries. Have an awesome day and keep being beautiful.

I hope your day never comes! Please be careful, your job sounds dangerous! And if something does happen, know that your family/friends are the best support system you could have. Thank you for replying to my post! I appreciate it. Be safe!!

did you know about Tina Fey and her scar?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/12/01/tina-fey-explains-her-fac_n_147309.html

No but I will definitely check it out! A few people have mentioned her now. Thanks for posting a link!!

Can you please explain how she cut you? I've never heard of bottling before but, reading this thread I assumed it meant shanking someone with a broken bottle. However when I saw your pictures it looked like it went much further than that.

I mean was it all in one slashing motion or did she stab you multiple times?

PS you look great :)

What happened was she came with one swing and broke the bottle over my nose, then with an opposite slashing motion she slit my throat and the scar cutting by my ear. hope that kind of clears up the confusion :)

You know, I get the bottling in defence of being attacked (though not if premeditated,) but coming back at your neck with a jagged piece of glass is a completely disproportionate response to getting punched in the face. She should have been charged with attempted murder.

I dated a girl with some pretty serious scaring from an unlucky incident in her childhood, and she was always very self-conscious of them and took great pains to hide them, but I honestly don't think anyone of our friends even thought about it or cared (or would have, for those that never knew). If someone really wants to judge you based on a scar, then your built-in loser detector just saved you from wasting your time on that person.

I agree, and if she thought it was out of no where or something. People tend to over think their imperfections more than anyone else. that is what i have definitely noticed!

Wow, that's brutal. I mean a blunt object to the nose alone could kill a person.

I'm sorry that had to go trough that. I've had similar experiences with violent crime but, I was never injured this bad :/

Any injury is still serious! I am very glad to hear you're ok ( I hope you are!!)

I guess what I'm not understanding here is that she was clearly trying TO MURDER YOU. If you try to slash someone's throat with broken glass, YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL THEM. This isn't the same as throwing a few drunken punches. How on earth is she not in jail? Am I missing something?

you're missing the same thing i am! I will never understand..

Definitely was thinking you were stuffed into a bottle at age 16...I was honestly trying to figure out how they managed that. Glad you are okay now! And...you know...NOT in a bottle >_>

lol that made me laugh. thank you.

And that's why you should never start a fight but try to avoid them things can get very bad.

I agree whole-heartily

When was the last time you saw your assailant?

Honestly probably not for over two years aside from seeing her driving. A big part of my PTSD was whenever I came home (I moved away for university) I would have such bad anxiety that I wouldn't leave my house. It was a lot worse the last year to the point that going inside the grocery store wasn't even an option out if fear of seeing her/people in general. I'm overcoming this now and working on going out. Last time I saw her face to face was at our small town rodeo two years ago. I had an emotional breakdown and left. I haven't gone back to rodeo since because I want to avoid seeing her.