Michael Ian Black

Depends how sick you are. If you're really sick, you should get it pretty urgently.

I'm least known for this, but probably my radical feminist poetry.

I follow politics pretty closely for a civilian. I learned a lot while writing "America, You Sexy Bitch." Mostly that our system is fucked. The problem, as I (and many, many others) see it, is that the bedrock of our system, representative democracy, has become so corrupted with money that we are slipping from being a democratic nation into being a corporatized nation. Corporations do a lot of things well, but not run nations, for obvious reasons. The first thing we need to do, above all else, is somehow disentangle money from our political process, at least to the extent that a few loud voices are drowning millions of softer voices. How do we do this? I don't know. But Citizens United and the like aren't helping.

Cool. Can I smell your fingers?

Thanks. I'm okay at boning.

If I can't believe it's not butter, then obviously I believe it to be butter, therefore it would be impossible for me to tell the difference. If I could tell the difference, I would know one of them to be butter and the other to not be butter.

The traditional reason: not enough people were watching for their tastes. But fuck them.

I wasn't unhappy. If you look at the picture, you will clearly see that I was taking a shit.

Absolutely. Meet me on the corner of 46th and 10th ave. tonight around nine. If I'm not there, it just means I'm running a little late.

Because, like oil, there is an endless supply.