Comments: 1921 • Responses: 52 • Date: 2015-04-13 15:05:23 UTC
Comments: 2755 • Responses: 42 • Date: 2012-10-01 15:03:26 UTC
RonWhiteComedian1874 karma2015-04-13 15:22:14 UTC
What do men like on their pie that they don't like on their pussy?
I figured you'd want a short one.
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RonWhiteComedian1657 karma2012-10-01 16:46:17 UTC
I didn't wing it.. I just did some of the better jokes twice!!
RonWhiteComedian1476 karma2015-04-13 15:26:56 UTC
RonWhiteComedian1439 karma2015-04-13 15:30:16 UTC
On my rider, there's - it's almost nothing. Because we eat after the show, I bring my tequila. So there's some water, Diet Coke, regular Coke, and root beer. That's about it. I'm not very demanding at all. I used to ask for a lot of stuff in the green room, and then we'd leave it all, so I thought it was wasteful and stupid and quit doing it.
RonWhiteComedian1437 karma2012-10-01 16:37:21 UTC
Roseanne is the only one that was funny Kathy is not Lisa so I would fuck her and...I would kill Lisa Lampanelli but I would have to stand in line to do it!!!!!
RonWhiteComedian1416 karma2015-04-13 15:17:47 UTC
You still can't fix it.
RonWhiteComedian1410 karma2015-04-13 15:17:27 UTC
My favorite cigar is the Montecristo number 4 Cuban...I got like a kinda smaller cigar. But the Dominican cigars are fantastic, the Nicaraguan cigars were fantastic. Probably 10 years ago, the Cubans were so far ahead of everyone, but everyone's catching up now. Davidoff makes great cigars. They make a cigar that has my name on it. They don't sell it, they just make it and send it to me.
Nobody gets free shit like rich people!
RonWhiteComedian1306 karma2012-10-01 16:56:16 UTC
Yes I drink real scotch on stage... The $5 special is the best way to get it to my fans without Walmart or Universal Music getting a cut...Louis C K made this business model possible.... We r eliminating the middle man.... Its the new wave...
RonWhiteComedian1267 karma2012-10-01 16:51:14 UTC
This proves what I said about not always having a black suit and scotch.. Do not look for this look to come back any time soon even though at the time it served me pretty well.... "Mucho chicks..I was throwing a lot of dick!!
RonWhiteComedian1248 karma2015-04-13 15:15:57 UTC
Not even close.
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