David Cross

is an American actor, writer and stand-up comedian known primarily for his standup work, the HBO sketch comedy series Mr. Show, and his role as Tobias F√ľnke in the sitcom Arrested Development.

Hosted AMAs

Highest Rated Comments

David_Cross3932 karma

The kind that comes from Katy Perry's tits.

David_Cross3679 karma


David_Cross3676 karma

I am hoping to participate in the story of a wealthy family who lost everything, and the one son who had no choice but to keep them all together. But...we'll see.

David_Cross3675 karma

Hours, and it was constantly needing retouching because I was never aware of how often one touches oneself. Even scratching or putting my fingers together, or resting my hand on something would mean I would have to reapply the makeup. It was awful. It took several showers and some industrial strength grease remover to get everything off, and I would wake up, and my pillow would still be blue.

David_Cross2623 karma

Well, to be fair, tongue: Bob. Lip-biting: Patton. Now if you guys can give me five minutes, I gotta rub one out.

David_Cross2599 karma

Look for me in the new "Riddick" film!!! I'm not in it but do still look for me.

David_Cross2430 karma

...Maybe? (Strike coquettish pose)

David_Cross2191 karma

Oooh! That's a good one.

Bill Hicks, The Prophet Mohammed, The Prophet Mohammed's Handler, Kanye East, Lizzie Borden, Andy Kaufman, and Amber Tamblyn, Tyrese, and Mark Spits.

With food provided by Big Kev's Bar-b-que.

David_Cross2186 karma

Yes! Agreed! I skipped that mission, I tried for two days, and it was beyond frustrating to have to hear my nasally whiney voice berating me. But the way that happened was I accosted one of the Rockstar Games guys at a party, and I was drunk, I was visibly drunk, and I told him I loved the games, I was a big fan, and I would do anything, I'll work for scale, just if you have anything you want me to do for the next game, please let me know, I'd love to be a part of it.

David_Cross1969 karma

stares out window


What is the difference between Georgian and Edwardian architecture again?