IAmA father who has experienced every father's nightmare. My 3 month old passed away last year. AMAA.
I would like to begin by saying that I have struggled with whether or not to post this on reddit. After a few weeks of reading stuff on here, I have realized that everyone seems to be fairly understanding. I am still fairly nervous about my discussion, please be gentle.
Our third son was born on March 28th, 2011. He was a bright and beautiful baby. He seemed to always have a smile on his face. I always heard that babies do not smile, but seem to when they pass gas. I do not know how true that is, but our son genuinely seemed to smile. At night; however; he constantly wanted to be held. We would always hold him before bedtime so he would fall asleep. The last night we held him, we made the absolutely horrible mistake of falling asleep while holding him. The events that followed will forever be the darkest days on my entire life. On June 29th, 2011 my life was completely changed. In the early hours of the morning I woke to my wife screaming our 3 month old son's name. For the sake of this discussion I shall call him "C". I immediately come to my senses and ask my wife "What's wrong!?" I can barely understand her words through her tears. She is gently shaking our son sobbing, "He's not breathing!" I take him from her; noticing that his skin is cool to the touch; and place him on the bed, and immediately begin infant CPR. Thankfully my mother in-law asked me to read up on infant and toddler CPR when our first child was born. I had no idea that the procedures differed. I told my wife to call 911, but her mental state was in no condition to follow directions. (understandably) At this time I grab my phone call 911 as I am rushing my son down stairs. I opened the living room door so the paramedics will see me, and placed my son on the living room floor. Pausing only long enough to inform the operator of the situation; I continue assisted breathing and chest compressions. After telling my wife to go outside and flag the first responders; she collapses on the front walk. "My BABY! MY BABY" is all I can hear, and at this point I am sobbing so hard that I have difficulty continuing. After what seems like an eternity the fire department is the first to arrive. They asked me "What's the problem?", and I can barely respond "He's not breathing." Without hesitation; the paramedic/fireman (They drove what looked like an ambulance, but dressed like a firemen.) scooped up my son and ran toward the ambulance. As he was running back to the ambulance he yelled back which hospital they would be going to. By now there were multiple police cars and a couple fire engines parked around my condo. I woke up our neighbor, and asked him to keep an eye on our kids until my wife's family got there. A police officer assured me he would be there until family arrived. We arrived at the hospital a couple minutes after the ambulance did. The ER staff where running in and out of the room my son was in. My wife and I were not allowed in the room. At one point I heard someone yell "I have a heartbeat", but was later informed that the heartbeat was a chemical reaction. Presently my wife and I are actively participating in support groups and a fund raiser for an organization that raises awareness about safe sleep. I suppose that completes my introduction. I will try to answer as many questions as I can. I wanted my first post on reddit to be an important one to me. AMAA.
(Please excuse any grammar, spelling, or punctuation mistakes as they are not my strong points.)
EDIT: I have been asked display proof. Here is my son's death certificate
EDIT EDIT: I hope I have helped some of you with any questions you have had about this. I am also very touched by the sympathies everyone has offered. Unfortunately I must go to bed; I have to work at 8am. Its 2:54. I will continue to answer questions when I can. Thanks again.
LAST EDIT: I hope I have answered most questions. It seems many people think I am doing this for karma. If this were a public speech would I still be a karma whore? As I have apparently offended many people; I will stop answering questions. Honestly, all I wanted to do was answer question that most people are afraid to ask in person.