LLv2

I personally prefer Dug.

A man frantically calls the KGB offices to report his parrot is missing.

"Why are you calling us?" the KGB asks. "That's not our responsibility."

"I just want you to know I don't share his political opinions."

How are you managing to make any money with all the piracy?

He's 6'5" and there's only one of him.

I will go wear the cone of shame now.