IAmA professional chauffeur of celebrities and billionaires for over 5 years. AMA

[deleted]

Stretch-Limo: Yes. Normal Limo (like a Mercedes S-Class): No.

Any of them ask you to leave the screen down so you can see them? And did you look?

Do not confuse stretch-limos with normal limos. In Europe, celebrities do NOT ride in stretch limos.

Mostly, the people asked me for some privacy in the back and if it was possible to close the screen. I knew what they were on about and let them do their thing. The fact that the car was bouncing in the back as soon as i stopped for a red light made me smile every time.

What was your best tip?

5000CHF (swiss francs -> about 5500USD)

-did you ever witness any interesting/bizarre/lewd/ilegal business in the limo during your travels with the rich and famous?

-who were your nicest/worst passengers?

-describe a negative aspect of the job that would surprise most readers.

• I once picked up some famous rapper (yes, you know him but i will not tell his name) from his airplane, parking right in front of the plane-stairway. About 30 seconds after entering the car he and his mate pulled out a HUGE bag of weed and started to roll a joint. So I just asked them to wait for me to pass the security gates at the airport, which they thankfully did. Also there is a lot of cocaine involved when hanging around with the rich and famous. The contents of the vacuum cleaner in the limo-garage must have been worth a LOT of money. Prostitution isn't illegal everywhere, so i don't know if that's what you wanna know.

• Like i said before, it doesn't get much worse than being ignored, so there aren't many really "bad" customers. Most "celebrities" are actually quite boring while in the car. Most of the time they hang around on the phone, chat with their managers or just sleep. Is it names you want to hear? Keanu Reeves is a nice guy.

• Being on standby for a whole week is really annoying. I was in switzerland with an Indian billionaire and his wife (yep, those with the 5000CHF tip) and all they said after leaving the car was "we'll call you when we need you". So i had no idea when to sleep, eat or even go to the restroom, because i had to stay ready and suited up for the whole day.

The rapper was definitely either Wiz Khalifa or Snoop Dogg.

I put a reply under your reply so you can reply to my reply while replying.

What's the weirdest (possibly/hopefully illegal) thing that you have seen?

Arnold Schwarzenegger was in Hannover/Germany to visit the CeBIT fair. While on the way to the fairground, he noticed that he was out of cigars. So he told the whole motorcade (about 15 cars, including police and motorcycles) to stop by some tobacco store. The leading car was a bit confused with the order which lead the pack into the central pedestrian area. So we there were about 15 cars, lights flashing, standing in front of a tobacco store in the middle of downtown with hundreds of people watching while the Terminator was getting some cigars.

Well, this would have to start with an idea of which celebrities/billionaires you've catered to before I could decide what questions to ask.

Justin Bieber, Lewis Hamilton, Nicole Scherzinger, Beyonce Knowles, Keanu Reeves, Franz Beckenbauer... just trying to give you an idea of what i'm on about. I also drove several important politicians and heads of state, but i really can not tell any names of those.

how is Lewis Hamilton in person, any stories to share?

The ride with Lewis is one of my coolest stories. I picked him up after the MTV Europe Music Awards, heading to the airport. He fell asleep quickly and as we arrived at the airport he just said "wow, that was quick! thanks!" Nice to hear from the guy who is your racing idol.

Whats Nicole Scherzinger like? she seems like a complete and udder cunt.

I don't really know. While in the car, she was bitching around with her manager because there were only 8 instead of 25 background dancers for her performance.

Craziest thing that happened in the car?

This happened after the Abu Dhabi Formula 1 Grand Prix: A sheikh (my dedicated guest) entered my 6-seater Mercedes Viano with a total of 14 smoking hot models, mostly wearing bikinis. There was no reason to be scared of the police because he sort of "owns half of the country". So they were having a big party in my car while we were driving through dubai - windows down and arabian music blasting.

How hard is it to do a U-turn in a limo or turning in general? How do limos handle?

As is said before, celebrities in europe do not ride in stretch-limos. The cars i drive usually are big german saloons like a 7-Series, S-Class, Audi A8 or Maybach.

Handling a stretch-limo isn't too hard if you keep concentrated. There is not too much difference between driving a big van and a 120inch limo. Always checking your mirrors is the trick. Oh, and also you do not see ANYTHING out of the back, the brakes feel like they're made of tinfoil and doing a U-turn is mostly impossible, so better drive around the block one more time.

What car do you personally drive? Not to sound like a dick, but doesn't it suck ass to drive these awesome cars and go back to a regular? Assuming you have a standard class car.

i have a feeling this guy is rich

I don't think it's so much that he's rich, but he drives his dream car. He's involved with people who have money, appreciate cars, and know him and trust him for years. He's had opportunity and connections to be able to buy the car or cars he most wants, and he's probably driven many dozens more world class automobiles.

not bad.

reversing cameras? rear view mirror that comes out the top of the roof?

EDIT: Are there rear view mirrors that come up the top of cars? Did I just have a million dollar idea?

Not on the stretch-limos i have been driving. Mostly Lincoln Town Cars, not the very latest model.

What are some of these "sticky situations" you speak of needing to get the car out of?

As soon as you have a "VIP" (in this case a VIP is a person which life is considered to be worth more than yours) on board, things change a little bit. Mostly you get escorted by the police in a motorcade with lights flashing, so there is not much to worry about. If things go wrong, every driver has to know exactly what to do. It is hard to tell what those situations may look like. Think of road blocks, several hostile cars surrounding your car on the highway or just a suspicious car next to you at a red light.

Did you move up the ladder from Taxi to Limo driver then private driver?

I never drove a taxi in my life. I started my carreer as a Ferrari Salesman and got to know some people. Driving has always been my big passion, and so i went my own way to the job i have today. It was quite complicated and you would not be able to go the same way i did. Not long ago i have been working 7 days a week without any holidays or so - willing to give everything for the job, i have never let anyone of my customers down.

Are the vehicles armoured?

Are you trained to know what to do in the eventuality of an ambush?

Usually armored vehicles are used for important politicians, "normal" celebrities mostly use unarmored cars. There may be some individuals who see their life in danger and drive around in armored cars all the time, but usually it's the car everyone can buy. I am a specially trained driver, which is actually required for driving most heads of state, but i do not carry a gun. If required, an armed bodyguard will take place in the passenger seat. I try my best to get the car out of sticky situations. And truth be told, most armored cars drive like absolute crap.

Have you ever been in such a situation? Where your life was under threat and you had to get the hell out of dodge.

No.

Would you consider being a dedicated driver for only one person, if the pay was similar to what your earn now, or would that get too boring?

I chose to be a dedicated driver for one person. The main reason for this is not the money, but the fact that we know each other for 4 years now and have become really good friends.

It always depends on the sort of person you work for. Some are really exhausting by holding you on stand-by forever, others are really nice and invite you to all the places they go with you.

Are they usually friendly? Have you ever had any really awful encounters?

I never had a really awful encounter. Some people, like Christian Horner (Red Bull Formula 1 Team), don't say "hello", "good bye" or even "thank you", but it never got any worse than being ignored.

Is your favorite movie the Transporter?

No, i don't like it very much. But i do like being called Transporter by my friends! :-D

HEY TRANSPORTER

Thanks for being my friend!

Have you ever had to execute a J turn? What escape and evasion training have you had?

I was trained to do a J-Turn, but i never had to do it in emergency. There is a big training facility near Berlin/Germany where i have been several times. We literally crash the cars they use, training to evade road blocks or other hazardous situations. Some times, the only way to evade is by crashing through things.

What's the biggest fuckup you made on the job?

Not fucking up is what made me good at this job. I was late once in my career. Not my fault though, i was sent to a wrong hotel about 40miles away and couldn't make it in time. Never since have i been late again.

Favorite limo to drive?

BMW 7 Series, Audi A8

Please explain your obvious ties I'm the F1 world (I'm a massive f1 fan)

Met any other drivers?

I have been travelling around the world for several F1 Races. One of my employers was a company providing the VIP Hospitality for the F1-Teams. It was a different situation every Grand Prix, depending on how many drivers the teams booked. Ferrari, McLaren, Mercedes GP, Red Bull, Hispana... Have been working for all of them. Mostly you do not have direct contact to the drivers because they arrive in their own cars at the track, and i got to drive around either staff or VIP guests. But, of course, i have seen most of the drivers in the paddock, hotel or at some framework programme like sponsor events.

That was a great time, but also some very exhausting weekends.

Do you ever see a really big change in how people act once they get in your car, away from the public eye?

Most of the people i meet seem to live a stressful life. So mostly they will try finding some time to relax while in the car. The unfriendly people do not talk to you as long as you do not make mistakes, which makes this question very hard to answer.

Tell us about how you learned to drive and at what age? Did you pass first time? How many driving courses have you taken, and do you still have to go through courses to show you're competent?

The first car i drove was a classic Mini Cooper when i was 15. I wasn't really talented at that time, struggling to keep it moving. On holidays my father sometimes allowed me to steer the cruise-controlled RV while driving through the deserts of the western USA. Very exciting at that time! I failed my first theory test with a whopping 33 errors, which made me actually learn for my second test -> 0 errors. I passed the driving test itself on the first attempt, but they were not very pleased with my driving skills at that time. Nowadays i try to visit more than one professional drivers training per year, but i do not have to prove my skills to anyone anymore, i do it for myself and the fun of driving.

I just started chauffeuring last week and am currently sitting in the limo while my passengers are wine tasting for 5 hours. Any tips on how to kill time (other than going on reddit on my phone)?

iPhone, iPad with VLC and some movies, magazines. If you have the chance to leave the site, go get yourself some starbucks.